Thursday, February 25, 2016

Thursday Movie Picks: Love Triangles AND Memorable Declarations of Love

Last week I was busy wrapping up the Acting Black Blogathon and missed out on Thursday Movie Picks. This week I'm back and putting my stamp on things. Just a quick rundown, if you don't know what's going on with this Thursday Movie Picks thing click the link, go to Wanderer's site, Wandering Through the Shelves and see how you can be down.


I'm down.

And I'm always down to talk about love.

Love, in some form or fashion, has been the topic every week this month for TMP. Today's topic is Love Triangles. By now, you know me. I'm not going to suggest that movie that popped into your head when you read that sentence. If you don't know me, well, that was your hint at what might lie ahead. Here's the love triangles I want to talk about...

The Human Tornado
No, this movie is not about the love triangle in question, but this triangle does set the events of the movie into motion. Dolemite is a successful comedian throwing a party to celebrate the big tour he's just finished up. The local sheriff and his badged goons decide to break up the party because, well, black folks having a party. What does the sheriff see when he gets upstairs after running everyone else out the house? Dolemite laying something on the sheriff's wife that don't qualify as jokes. Sheriff shoots and kills his wife and intends to do the same to Dolemite who manages a butt-ass-nekkid escape. There is a lot more zaniness to follow, but that's all you need to know. Well, that, and if you didn't know, Dolemite often talks in rhyme. Oh, and I'll admit calling this a "love" triangle is a bit of a stretch since the sheriff's wife was paying Dolemite for his services.

A small town girl journeys to Las Vegas in hopes of making it big in this heartfelt exploration of the soul. Hahahahahahaha...phew...sorry, I couldn't keep a straight face after that. Anyhoo, Nomi (Elizabeth Berkley) is a small town girl in Vegas and soon finds herself as the hottest thing in the topless showgirl business. To get there, she not only steals the job from Cristal (Gina Gershon), the aging star of the show, Nomi also steals her man Zack (Kyle MacLachlan). Well, Cristal has a thing for her, too. So, there's that.

It's that same old story. A young married couple, Jermaine (Gary Dourdan) and Jasmine (former Miss USA, current reality star Kenya Moore) gets bored with each other...or at least the hubby does. He is obviously a lot more convincing than I am because he manages to talk his lady into bringing in another lady, Jade (Gretchen Palmer), for a threesome. Aaaaannnndddd...complications and feelings. It doesn't help that the woman they brought in for this little excursion is a little on the loony side. OhThere were a couple of sequels with completely different casts. Sadly, I haven't watched either of those yet. Sigh.

Oh, you thought it was over?

The party ain't over.

I actually do want to weigh in on last week's topics - Movies with Memorable Declarations of Love. Hell, I know memorable declarations of love. I once chased down the train my future wife was on heading for her new life in a far away city as it was departing the station. I was running as fast as I possibly could while shouting her name, yelling "You complete me!" and simultaneously playing "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel on a boombox I held over my head.

Okay, so I'm bullshitting.


let's go there...

Fatal Attraction
Because nothing says love like rabbit stew. Sorry 'bout that. I'll let the one and only Alex Forrest share her heartfelt declaration with you...

This is what you force me to do. I guess you thought you'd get away with it. Well... you can't. 'Cause part of you is growing inside of me, and that's a fact, Dan. You'd better start... Learning how to deal with it. Just so you know... I feel you. I taste you. I think you. I touch you. Can you understand? Can you? I'm just... asking you... to acknowledge your responsibilities. I... Is that so bad? I-I don't think so. I don't think it's unreasonable. And... you know, another thing... And it's that you thought you could just walk into my life, and turn it upside down, without a thought for anyone but yourself. You know what you are, Dan? You are a cocksucking son of a bitch. I hate you. I bet you don't even like real girls, do you? Ha! You disappoint me, you fucking faggot!

Sounds like love to me.

You got me. I've used this one before. I had to go back to it, though. It's such a tender portrait of the relationship that develops between a best-selling author and his biggest fan. They're both simple people. So Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates) keeps it simple in her declaration and just says "God, I love you." Of course, this is after she takes a sledgehammer to his ankle to keep him from escaping her house.

The Boy Next Door
A young boy's harmless crush on his teacher, who happens to be his next door neighbor, leads him to make the following declaration - "You see that video, and the proof of our love, as a threat to this life. But, but... I see it, as promise of a better one." Wait, what? Video? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention he got in her pants, secretly recorded it when he did, and is now stalking her entire family. Teehee, sometimes we do the craziest things for love.


  1. Wow... isn't that Kenny Rogers?

    I have seen bits of The Boy Next Door, it's fucking awful. Fatal Attraction.... classic. Showgirls a fun guilty pleasure no matter how bad it is.

    1. Kinda looks like Kenny Rogers, but not him, lol. The Boy Next Door is awful...and that's why I love it. Showgirls - yes.

  2. I've been meaning to watch Misery and see how Kathy Bates portray the character. I recently finished reading the book, and I'm hoping the progression of events in the movie isn't as slow as the one in the book.

    1. Bates is amazing. It's one of my favorite performances of all-time. See it just for that.

  3. This...IS AMAZING!

    I've only seen Showgirls of you love triangles. HA, so Dell!

    I love that you included a twisted version of declarations of love...I haven't seen The Boy Next Door, but the other two are so perfect!

    1. Thanks! The Boy Next Door is a so bad it's awesome special.

  4. Misery! That's one hell of a declartion of love. That's hilarious you went with Showgirls for triangles. The only thing I remember from that movie is the ridiculous sex scene in the pool. I haven't seen the other films.

  5. Misery! Love that twisted declaration of love.

  6. The Human Tornado! God I thought I was the only one who had ever seen that thing! It's been years and I never would have thought of it for this but I'm glad you did. Haven't seen Trois but Showgirls, GEESH is that an awful movie with Gina Gershon the only bright spot.

    Mine aren't nearly as colorful as yours!

    This Means War (2012)-Two CIA secret agents (Chris Pine & Tom Hardy) best friends and roommates go all out in their competition when they discover they have fallen for the same woman (Reese Witherspoon). The three actors work hard to buoy this with their personality and charisma. One problem: Tom Hardy and Chris Pine’s chemistry with each other is much stronger than either share with Reese. The director's roots in music videos are painfully obvious and he does nothing to smooth out the many kinks in the borderline creepy plot.

    Keeping the Faith (2000)-A triangle with a twist. Two men-a priest and a rabbi (Edward Norton & Ben Stiller), friends since childhood, fall for the same woman (Jenna Elfman). She is likewise a friend from their youth newly returned to town. The various conflicts the situation presents make up the bulk of the film.

    Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)-Working class high schooler Keith (Eric Stoltz) longs to date the most popular girl in school Amanda Jones (Lea Thompson) and his best friend, the tomboyish Watts (Mary Stuart Masterton), tries to help at first. Once he makes the date though she realizes she’s jealous. Add in that Amanda’s ex-boyfriend, jackass rich boy Hardy (Craig Sheffer), resents being replaced by someone he sees as inferior and plots revenge. All the pieces are now in place for a big showdown. If the plot sounds somewhat familiar it’s because this was written by the prolific king of 80’s teen angst John Hughes. Good performances all around.

    1. The Human Tornado and Showgirls are the right kind of awful.

      I love John Hughes, but somehow I haven't gotten around to Some Kind of Wonderful. I seriously need to see that. It's been popular today.

      I remember hearing about Keeping the Faith and thinking it looked terrible so I skipped it.

      Speaking of terrible...or, the wrong kind of awful, I did see This Means War. I hated just about every minute of that. My full review, if you care to know why...

  7. As far as your three declarations of love, my you went dark! But sometimes so does love. Haven't seen The Boy Next Door, the previews looked awful, but the other two are great picks. Fatal Attraction is such a weird wild ride. Love that you included the declarations, I did that with my three too, although I went with the happier side of love.

    Pride & Prejudice (2005)-Lovely adaptation of the Austen classic with Keira Knightley & Matthew MacFayden well matched as the headstrong Elizabeth Bennett and the reserved Mr. Darcy who secretly loves her. They are surrounded by a perfect supporting cast.

    *Memorable Declaration-During a sweeping rainstorm in an isolated pavilion the drenched Darcy declares that he loves Lizzie most ardently!

    Last of the Mohicans (1992)-Exciting, intense beautifully filmed reading of James Fenimore Cooper’s novel. Daniel Day-Lewis and Madeleine Stowe bring an electric chemistry to their characters which enhances all their scenes but particularly their romantic ones. Pitch perfect music score adds an extra dimension to the effectiveness of the film.

    *Memorable Declaration-Under a waterfall fleeing from attacking Indians Nathaniel tells Cora when he must leave her “You be strong, you survive... You stay alive, no matter what occurs! I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.”

    Somewhere in Time (1980)-At the premier of his first play writer Richard Collier (Christopher Reeve) is approached by a mysterious old woman who presses a locket into his hand with the words “Come back to me!” Years later Collier now a successful but blocked playwright impulsively takes a trip to an old resort where he spies a picture of once famous actress Elise McKenna (a breathtakingly beautiful Jane Seymour) from 70 years hence and becomes obsessed with her. Believing she is his destiny he searches for a way to travel back to her time. Preposterous but uber romantic time travel fantasy with the well matched leads and the gorgeous Mackinac Island selling the plot’s various implausibility’s for those able to suspend belief. Very involving if you like romantic movies.

    *Memorable Declaration-In the guise of the character she is portraying on stage Elise goes off script and staring straight at Richard says: “The man of my dreams has almost faded now. The one I have created in my mind. The sort of man each woman dreams of, in the deepest and most secret reaches of her heart. I can almost see him now before me. What would I say to him if he were really here? "Forgive me. I have never known this feeling. I have lived without it all my life. Is it any wonder, then, I failed to recognize you? You, who brought it to me for the first time. Is there any way I can tell you how my life has changed? Any way at all to let you know what sweetness you have given me? There is so much to say... I cannot find the words. Except for these: I love you."

    1. The Boy Next Door is awful. I love it for that, but it's horrible.

      Haven't seen any of your picks. I plan on seeing Last of the Mohicans at some point. I mean I've only been thinking about seeing it for 20 years.

  8. I love your picks! I. Have to see that first. Film with theKenny ROgers wannabe:) I have not seen the others but that Showgirls would be a grotto see since it is so bad. I love your other picks becuase they fit even though these gals are way too sack a doodle.

    1. Just know going into that first one that it's a terrible movie in every sense of the term. And that's what makes it great.

  9. If you think these flms are hard work, you oughta try Gaspar Noe's LOVE, which features a threesome and a tragic love triangle.

    Oh, and a to-camera ejaculation shot, alongside its explicit sex scenes.

    (psst don't watch it with kids around...)

    1. I'm guessing this is the same Love I've scrolled by a few times on Netflix with a picture of three intermingling tongues. I'll check it out, but surely not while the kiddies are around.

  10. Not seen any of these movies apart from Showgirls. Love/hate that film - its hilarious. It also makes a really good drinking game too.

    1. Oh my goodness, you could probably play a million different drinking games with Showgirls.

  11. Okay I TOTALLY thought I had commented on these, but apparently I didn't... I LOVE that you went there with Showgirls!

    And The Boy Next Door is another camp classic. SO much fun!

  12. I got distracted as I was opening this post, and I caught your image for The Human Tornado out of the corner of my eye. I thought I was seeing a screenshot of a torrid threesome, and one of the players in a cowboy hat no less. Ha ha!