Pointless Lists: 20 Greatest Shower Scenes

I've been doing a lot of talking about Porky's these last few days. Most of it centers around the infamous shower scene. I've repeatedly said it's one of the greatest such scenes of all time. What are the others? Before we even go that far, what makes a great one? Some are sexy, some are surprisingly sweet, and some are hilarious. Some are terrifying, others are just plain gratuitous and exploitative. And then there are those that are a combination of things. I'll cover all those types, even some where people keep their clothes on. Well, let's adjust the water to the perfect temperature, get that shower head set just right, lather up with your favorite soap...body wash...or whatever...and let's take a look at...

 

20. Miami Vice

Michael Mann's underrated update of the classic 80s cop show gets here as much for quantity as it does for quality. Proving the director is an equal opportunist when it comes to vertical aquatic love-making, both Crockett and Tubbs get to have a sex scene in the shower with the lady of their choice.

19. Gone Girl

Though both our participants are stark naked and make up a married couple, ain't nothing sexy going on here. It's just Amazing Amy reestablishing control of all situations.

18. See No Evil, Hear No Evil

Gene Wilder's character may be be deaf, but he can certainly see. And we can tell that other parts of him are working, too.

17. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Homophobia is taken to new heights when our titular hero finds out the woman he kissed was born a man. Since it's downright hilarious, I'll give him a pass.

16. Elf

Zooey Deschanel is doing like a lot of us and belting out a tune while showering. Unlike a lot of us, someone she didn't know was there decides to sing along. This is a perfect mix of creepy and sweet.

15. National Lampoon's Vacation

It's pretty simple. A guy with a camera walks in on his wife and convinces her do something he assures her no one else will see. Ever since I've had a serious appreciation for the song "Big Spender."

14. American Beauty

Nothing like rubbing one out to start the day. Unfortunately, he already knows it's straight downhill from here.

 

13. Naked Gun 2 1/2 and Naked Gun 33 1/3

In 2 1/2 Priscilla Presley has someone unexpected join in on her song. Nothing sweet here. The guy is an assassin. 33 1/3 features Leslie Nielsen in a prison shower not afraid to pick up the soap.

12. Stoker

Mia Wasikowska spends her time much like another person on this list. She just does it in a much hotter way, hence, the higher rating.

11. M*A*S*H

A good practical joke embarrasses someone. A great practical joke embarrasses someone while they're naked.

10. The Pam Grier Shower Trilogy

Cleanliness is next to godliness and Ms. Grier seems to agree. She hits the showers in The Big Dollhouse, Friday Foster, and Black Mama, White Mama. I've professed my undying love for her many times before so it should be no surprise to see her here. After all, it's Pam Grier. Naked. In a shower.

9. Casino Royale

Craig does have a shower sex scene as Bond in Skyfall, but this scene in Casino Royale is much better. It's stunningly tender and announces that this version of 007 is actually a human being, not a suped up deity of idealized machismo.

8. Pitch Perfect

This is one of those movies that knows it's absurd and runs with it. That includes this perfectly over the top moment when Anna Kendrick is confronted in the shower about her singing ability.

7. Arachnophobia

I've actually found an uninvited critter in the shower with me once or twice. It was nothing like this, though. Thank goodness. I might have just died on the spot.

6. Weird Science

When I was a teen, I imagined that during my first shower with a woman I'd be a dick-slinging stud like Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell were in Miami Vice. Had it actually happened when I was a teen, it probably would've turned out like this.

5. Starship Troopers

In the future, the military has a communal co-ed shower. And no one bats an eye, let alone feels the least bit uncomfortable. Pardon my presumptuousness, but I am speaking for all men when I say we might never be ready for this. You ladies might be. Us guys are intrinsically immature, though.

4. Scarface

A sure sign than a deal has gone bad is when you find yourself standing outside a shower at gunpoint watching your buddy get hacked up with a chainsaw about two feet away from you.

3. Carrie

Bad enough that a young girl gets her very first period in the girls' lockerroom shower, but the poor kid has no clue what's going on and thinks she's about to bleed to death. And then it gets worse.

2. Porky's

Like I said, I've written a lot about it over the last few days. Check out this post on how I've come to interpret it differently over the years.

1. Psycho

Really, could there be any other choice for the top spot? I've written a fair bit about this scene, as well. Take a glance at my breakdown of it for the My Favorite Scenes Blogathon.


Honorable Washing:
Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Edward Norton in American History X
Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd in This is 40


Just 'cuz I know you're gonna mention IT, I'll let you know I didn't include IT because IT's not from a movie, but IT is a great shower scene. IT is from the TV mini-series...um...It. Here IT is...

I think I got 'em all, but let me know if I missed a spot.