Monday, April 6, 2015

Pointless Lists: 20 Greatest Shower Scenes

I've been doing a lot of talking about Porky's these last few days. Most of it centers around the infamous shower scene. I've repeatedly said it's one of the greatest such scenes of all time. What are the others? Before we even go that far, what makes a great one? Some are sexy, some are surprisingly sweet, and some are hilarious. Some are terrifying, others are just plain gratuitous and exploitative. And then there are those that are a combination of things. I'll cover all those types, even some where people keep their clothes on. Well, let's adjust the water to the perfect temperature, get that shower head set just right, lather up with your favorite soap...body wash...or whatever...and let's take a look at...

20. Miami Vice
Michael Mann's underrated update of the classic 80s cop show gets here as much for quantity as it does for quality. Proving the director is an equal opportunist when it comes to vertical aquatic love-making, both Crockett and Tubbs get to have a sex scene in the shower with the lady of their choice.

19. Gone Girl
Though both our participants are stark naked and make up a married couple, ain't nothing sexy going on here. It's just Amazing Amy reestablishing control of all situations.

18. See No Evil, Hear No Evil
Gene Wilder's character may be be deaf, but he can certainly see. And we can tell that other parts of him are working, too.

17. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Homophobia is taken to new heights when our titular hero finds out the woman he kissed was born a man. Since it's downright hilarious, I'll give him a pass.

16. Elf
Zooey Deschanel is doing like a lot of us and belting out a tune while showering. Unlike a lot of us, someone she didn't know was there decides to sing along. This is a perfect mix of creepy and sweet.

15. National Lampoon's Vacation
It's pretty simple. A guy with a camera walks in on his wife and convinces her do something he assures her no one else will see. Ever since I've had a serious appreciation for the song "Big Spender."

14. American Beauty
Nothing like rubbing one out to start the day. Unfortunately, he already knows it's straight downhill from here.


13. Naked Gun 2 1/2 and Naked Gun 33 1/3
In 2 1/2 Priscilla Presley has someone unexpected join in on her song. Nothing sweet here. The guy is an assassin. 33 1/3 features Leslie Nielsen in a prison shower not afraid to pick up the soap.

12. Stoker
Mia Wasikowska spends her time much like another person on this list. She just does it in a much hotter way, hence, the higher rating.

11. M*A*S*H
A good practical joke embarrasses someone. A great practical joke embarrasses someone while they're naked.

10. The Pam Grier Shower Trilogy
Cleanliness is next to godliness and Ms. Grier seems to agree. She hits the showers in The Big Dollhouse, Friday Foster, and Black Mama, White Mama. I've professed my undying love for her many times before so it should be no surprise to see her here. After all, it's Pam Grier. Naked. In a shower.

9. Casino Royale
Craig does have a shower sex scene as Bond in Skyfall, but this scene in Casino Royale is much better. It's stunningly tender and announces that this version of 007 is actually a human being, not a suped up deity of idealized machismo.

8. Pitch Perfect
This is one of those movies that knows it's absurd and runs with it. That includes this perfectly over the top moment when Anna Kendrick is confronted in the shower about her singing ability.

7. Arachnophobia
I've actually found an uninvited critter in the shower with me once or twice. It was nothing like this, though. Thank goodness. I might have just died on the spot.

6. Weird Science
When I was a teen, I imagined that during my first shower with a woman I'd be a dick-slinging stud like Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell were in Miami Vice. Had it actually happened when I was a teen, it probably would've turned out like this.

5. Starship Troopers
In the future, the military has a communal co-ed shower. And no one bats an eye, let alone feels the least bit uncomfortable. Pardon my presumptuousness, but I am speaking for all men when I say we might never be ready for this. You ladies might be. Us guys are intrinsically immature, though.

4. Scarface
A sure sign than a deal has gone bad is when you find yourself standing outside a shower at gunpoint watching your buddy get hacked up with a chainsaw about two feet away from you.

3. Carrie
Bad enough that a young girl gets her very first period in the girls' lockerroom shower, but the poor kid has no clue what's going on and thinks she's about to bleed to death. And then it gets worse.

2. Porky's
Like I said, I've written a lot about it over the last few days. Check out this post on how I've come to interpret it differently over the years.

1. Psycho
Really, could there be any other choice for the top spot? I've written a fair bit about this scene, as well. Take a glance at my breakdown of it for the My Favorite Scenes Blogathon.

Honorable Washing:
Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Edward Norton in American History X
Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd in This is 40

Just 'cuz I know you're gonna mention IT, I'll let you know I didn't include IT because IT's not from a movie, but IT is a great shower scene. IT is from the TV Here IT is...

I think I got 'em all, but let me know if I missed a spot.


  1. Ah.... that is a great list though I should note a correction. It's Paul Rudd, not Seth Rogen. I don't ever want to see Arachnaphobia ever again. Poisonous and big spiders scare the shit out of me.

    See No Evil, Hear No Evil. Not a great film but Joan Severence... one of my favorite nude actresses in my teens.

    1. Thanks for the correction. Been doing that a lot lately. Slacking on my proofreading. And I totally agree on Joan Severance.

  2. Your Elf mention reminded me of a similar movie shower situation, Emma Stone in Easy A! The shower scene in Psycho is very iconic, and loved the Carrie mention.

    1. Love Easy A. Excellent flick. Can't say enough good things about Psycho and Carrie. Thanks!

  3. Where is Emma Stone!!!! LOVE that moment!

    But this list is such an awesome list to put out. great. Love many of these mentions...and I find myself doing exactly what Lester does almost every morning :-P

    1. The Emma Stone moment is cool, for me that scene is more about the entire and that damn song she couldn't get out of her head. The shower is maybe 5 seconds of that. Fun stuff, though. Love the movie. And don't hurt yourself, Lester. :)

  4. Awesome list! i love that Ace Ventura scene, it was hysterical

  5. How about a movie in a movie? Scream 2 has that purposely ridiculous shower scene in their fake franchise Stab. It's right before the first big death scene. It's so fucking cheesy, but great.

    Your number one can't be beat!!! I'm really happy you added in Stoker. I love that movie so much.

    1. Yes, Scream 2. That whole opening scene works on multiple levels. And had to include Stoker. Great scene.

  6. You come up with the best ideas for lists. It was easy to guess that your #1 would be here, but I had forgotten about some of these shower scenes, like Stoker and American Beauty (Yup, that was the high point of this poor dude's day, and his wife wouldn't let him do it in bed). Gone Girl and Carrie are brilliant too.

    1. There really couldn't be any other number 1. Glad to remind you of some other great scenes. Thanks!

  7. Love the mention of Miami Vice. That is such an underrated movie.

    It's good to know there is another person who admires the jaw dropping beautiful Pam Grier. It still need to see The Big Dollhouse. It's inclusion on list of best shower scenes kind of (no, definitely) gives me all the more reason to seek it out.

    Another shower scene I like: An American Werewolf In London.

    1. Miami Vice is excellent. I think it gets such a bad wrap because people were expecting it to be like the TV show.

      Pam Grier. Drool.

      Wow. Great call on Amerian Werewolf in London.

  8. Ah... love that scene in See No Evil, Hear No Evil - Pryor and Wilder are so good in that film.

    Also love the one from Weird Science - one of my favourite films.

    Oh, and that one from IT is terrifying. Some of that film is so effective, Tim Curry is brilliant as Pennywise.

    1. Pryor and Wilder are a great comic duo. See No Evil, Hear No Evil is a solid last outing for them.

      Weird Science is a teen classic.

      I've actually never watched all of It. Maybe I'll get to it one of these days.