Thursday, March 3, 2016

Thursday Movie Picks: Storms/Adverse Weather


I’m sorry. My usually cheerful blogging demeanor has been dampened a bit by bad weather. Not actual bad weather, mind you. It’s supposed to be a rather pleasant day in the teeny slice of earth where I reside. I’m talking about bad movie weather. That’s the subject for today’s Thursday Movie Picks hosted by Wandering Through the Shelves. More accurately, she calls it Storms/Adverse Weather. Since I brought up accuracy, I can’t even blame her. I’m going to blame Daniel at Dancin’ Dan on Film. Yup, I consider Dan one of my blogging buddies. Over the last year or two, I think…or I like to think…that Dan and I have developed a good enough relationship that I feel comfortable saying this. Dan, you kinda suck for this.

Woah, woah, wwwoooooooaaaahhh.

What do I have my panties all in a bunch for?

I'm sorry, Dan. Truth of the matter is this is not a Dan problem, or a Wanderer problem, this is a Dell problem. Did I really just refer to myself in third person? See, I told you I was in a weird place today.

Anyhoo, moving on.

If there’s one genre of films that makes me roll my eyes in disgust, it’s the Man vs. Mother Nature flicks. For whatever reason, they’re just not my cup of tea, on average. Sure, there are some great films that use weather like an extra character, or even a god manipulating all events. Sadly, those didn’t immediately leap to mind. The ones that did are the ones that I hate. So, that’s what you’re going to get. No worries, that’s perfectly within the rules of TMP. We’re allowed to tell you about bad movies that deal with the chosen topic. In other words, instead of seeking out the unabashed garbage I usually recommend, steer clear of these high profile duds.


The Day After Tomorrow
(2004)
Forecast: Global Warming on Fleek
The Earth goes haywire and we are very rapidly plunged into a second Ice Age, or something to that effect. It’s been over ten years since I watched this trash, so forgive me if I’m fuzzy on the details. I do remember several things clearly, however. For instance, our hero (the ever-bland Dennis Quaid) walks from Philadelphia to New York in what seems like a handful of hours. If you're not familiar with the proximity of these two cities we're talking roughly 100 miles. Oh, I didn't mention that the temperature was a rather balmy 100 degrees. Below zero. Yeah, that's doable.


The Hereafter
(2010)
Forecast: Big Ass Wave
The first ten minutes of this movie are spectacular. A tsunami bears down on Indonesia and destroys everything and everyone in sight, except for a female French news reporter who was there working. And then nothing. More accurately, we get a bunch of (eventually) intertwining stories about people as Matt Damon tries to figure out what really happens to us after we die in the most boring way imaginable. The reporter suffers from survivors remorse, and so do us viewers.


The Grey
(2011)
Forecast: Snowy With a Chance of Wolf
Liam Neeson and a bunch of tough guys get stranded somewhere near Anchorage Alaska when a severe snow storm causes their plane to crash. In order to make it back to civilization, the men have to band together to brave the elements, figure out where they're going, and survive being eaten alive by wolves. Wait, what? Yup. And I don't mean any regular ol' wolves. Picture those big ass humongous werewolves from Twilight...on steroids. It tries to be some deep philosophical meditation on man fighting through adversity, but it's not. It's a humorless slasher flick with wolves as our killers. I swear I was waiting on one of them to drop a one-liner after devouring one of these schmucks. Seriously, it would not have shocked me had one of these things turned to another and said "Man, I wolfed that one down." I'll stick to my Friday the 13th flicks. At least then I know I can have a few laughs with my killings. Sigh. I know. You love this movie. You might have even picked this movie as a "best" if you're a TMP participant. It's okay. You mean well.



32 comments:

  1. I've seen The Day After Tomorrow which was alright while Hereafter was just OK. I haven't seen The Grey so I can't really say anything about that.

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    1. Lots of people like those movies. Just didn't do it for me.

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  2. I've only seen The Day After Tomorrow from your list, and I liked it. I haven't seen the other two though.

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    1. TDAT was one of those movies that laid out a bunch of rules for itself and then rarely followed them. I just couldn't.

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  3. Booo! I enjoyed The Day After Tomorrow and The Grey! But whilst you've started, I'll blame Dan for that too! Poor Dan!
    - Allie

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    1. I couldn't stand them. TDAT made no sense whatsoever and The Grey was not anywhere near as deep as it thought it was. It also had some horrible cgi wolves.

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  4. lmao your forecasts. Those are great. I'm not crazy about these type of movies either. I chose The Day After Tomorrow, but like you, I don't actually care much for that film.

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  5. L
    O
    L

    I have my posts set to drop for the next two months, and a certain post in April literally starts with "F*ck you, Daniel"...but I'm not going to tell you which one.

    This is a sketchy genre because there is SO MUCH bad, but there are some really well made ones as well, most of them revolving around real events.

    Also, The Grey is a pretty good film. At least, Neeson is superb in it...and I kind of loved the hell out of those wolves.

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    1. I think I know which post, but I'm not telling.

      I will say this about the cgw - computer generated wolves - they're about ten times smarter than everyone else in the movie.

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    2. Well, gee, since I suggested just the one topic in April....

      ...and hey, Wanderer chose them! All I did was make the suggestion ;-P

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  6. The Day After Tomorrow is popular today. I don't remember it being that bad, but I've watched it something like 10 years ago. I agree on The Hereafter though. Nothing happens after the tsunami.

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    1. I rolled my eyes and sighed the whole time I was watching TDAT. During Hereafter I continuously fought off sleep.

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  7. Okay I chuckled at your intro and your dissing of these films which I agree with on two of them but I'm a disaster movie junkie and will watch pretty much anything from this genre. Often to my detriment, as my first pick proves.

    Now about The Day After Tomorrow, which is one of my picks, I can agree with all you wrote and still have to admit that I enjoyed it tremendously just for its very ridiculousness. I was prepared walking into the theatre, I mean a big budget disaster movie whose biggest name, at the time, is DENNIS QUAID?!! Come on, how many other hands had that sucker had to pass through before they settled for him! So forearmed I was able to sit there and hoot and jeer, enjoy the effects and watch Jake Gyllenhaal rise one rung higher in the Hollywood hierarchy doing the requisite blockbuster action flick.

    Apply your warning to the first of my picks, which I watched expressly for this week since I thought it would be fun to have something new. Well that bit me in the ass I can tell you!! But my third is something I genuinely love and was glad that I was able to fit into the theme, seeing as it has an actual story and high quality acting.

    Into the Storm (2014)-Soggy in every way movie about a mega-storm front that lays waste to a Midwest town. Like many current disaster movies this puts a group of people that the audience knows nothing about in peril and then expects them to be invested in their plight. Some good special effects but that’s about all. Starts out okay but quickly slips into absurdity.

    The Day After Tomorrow (2004)-Big, dumb but fun cautionary tale. Climatologist Dennis Quaid and his team witness a huge crack in an ice shelf and warn the world authorities that it’s a sign of a coming cataclysm but no-one’s listening. Next thing you know superstorms start forming and causing havoc and who should be stuck right smack dab in the middle of the biggest? Why Quaid’s son Jake Gyllenhaal of course! Hits its fever pitch when Quaid outruns the Ice Age!

    The Rains Came (1939)-In Ranchipur, India the faithless Lady Edwina Esketh (Myrna Loy) and her cruel husband Lord Esketh meet Major Rama Safti (Tyrone Power) a doctor and heir presumptive to the throne and Edwina renews her acquaintanceship with artist Tom Ransome (George Brent), a former lover. Bored she sets out to seduce the principled Safti as a distraction but finds herself falling in love. It’s high class soap opera with good performances until the seasonal rains come and then watch out! An earthquake hits during the heaviest downpour causing a dam to collapse followed by a cholera epidemic while the water keeps rising! Winner of the first Oscar given for special effects.

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    1. I just didn't bother with Into the Storm. Don't think I'll change my mind. I forgot Quaid outran the thing in TDAT, lol. I am very interested in The Rains Came simply to see what the first Oscar winner for special fx looks like. To keep expectations somewhat in check my benchmark will be the original King Kong. Thanks for putting that on my radar.

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  8. I've not see any of these but I've read/seen things about them. Although I never knew there was 'big ass wave' in Hereafter. Also, I think 'Snowly with a Chance of Wolf' would made a great title for a film one day.

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    1. Yup, Hereafter starts with a massive tsunami. Hell yeah, I'd watch Snowy With a Chance of Wolf!

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  9. Haha. You obviously take the side of my old geography teacher who thinks the Day After Tommorow is total trash. I do kinda like even though it's stupid beyond belief. It makes me think of The Happenening but instead of running away from the wind, they run away from the cold. Silly film.

    Good pick with Hereafter (which I really liked, even the bits after the first 10 mins) I was gonna go with The Impossible but I kinda felt that a huge wave wasn't a "weather" more a result of a weather event if you get my drift. I guess it still fits though,

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    1. I like your geography teacher. I've heard nothing but bad things about The Happening so I'll pass. I've not seen The Impossible, but everyone else seems to think it fits, if that helps.

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  10. LOVE your forecasts, Dell! Have you considered being a Nightly News weatherman?

    I have a love/hate relationship with Disaster Movies; I am NOT a fan of Day After Tomorrow, but I kinda enjoyed 2012, for example, which is no less ridiculous, and I didn't even bother with this year's entry, San Andreas (despite the presence of The Rock). I also mostly liked The Grey, although it did get a bit too ponderous for its own good at points. I haven't seen Hereafter, and it will probably stay that way.

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    1. Might have missed my calling. I should clearly be a meteorologist.

      2012...ugh. I'm trying to skip San Andreas, but don't think I'll be able to. Drats.

      The Grey = faux deep.

      Hereafter = beaucoup faux deep.

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  11. Every time you do one of these, you come up with movies that I feel like I should have seen but haven't.

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  12. I have seen all three! You are right about how ridiculous the Dat After Tomorrow is. I am always surprised how Dennis Quaid can hurl his friend into a room that is under the snow because the deep freeze is coming but they survive because in mere seconds he was able to build a fire-hahahahaa but for some reason, I like this schlocky flick. I was so disappointed by The Hereafter because you are so right..it is boring the Grey was just dumb and I felt sorry for the wolves being made out to be evil. They are wolves not evil things...just sad.

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    1. Schlocky is a great way to describe TDAT. And it's Hollywood, so all wolves are evil.

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  13. I've been wondering off and on, for quite a while now, whether I should see The Hereafter. Thanks for settling the issue for me. Though to be honest, based on the image you shared, the visuals in the tidal wave scene look pretty cool. Maybe I can look up that scene on YouTube and spare myself the rest of the movie.

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  14. Yes, look up that scene on YouTube. Just remember, no matter how good it is, you don't want to see the rest of it.

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  15. bad weather movies make me think of tumbleweed...

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    1. I just meant that they don't excite me whatsoever. That joke/reference did not work at all haha.

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    2. Got it. Sorry, that one flew over my head.

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