It's been a while since the last installment of this series, but it's never too late. Once again I'm going to try and sum up a few beloved, and not so beloved, movies in one sentence. Just one. As usual, I can't promise accuracy or good taste.
8 Mile – Rappin’ Rocky.
Ant-Man – Rich white dude enlists the aid of a Mexican, a black guy, and some poor white trash to help him steal stuff.
Bloodsport – Jean-Claude Van Rocky.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - Two men bond over their love of women named Martha.
Creed – Black Rocky.
Inside Out – A girl is saved by the voices in her head.
Goon – Hockey Rocky.
It Follows – A woman tries to rid herself of an STD without seeing a doctor.
The Karate Kid – Karate Rocky.
Poltergeist – A suburban family calls in an expert when their television malfunctions.
Million Dollar Baby – Rockette.
Purple Rain – A guy abuses his girlfriend, apologizes through song.
Rocky Balboa – Old Rocky.
Star Wars: The Force Awakens – Still distraught over the death of the grandfather he never met, a grown man throws temper tantrums.
Rudy – Football Rocky.
Unfriended – A group of friends experience technical difficulties during a Skype call.
Step Up – Dancin’ Rocky.
White Men Can’t Jump – Basketball Rocky.
I need a do-over on one of those…
Unfriended – Click…read…type…click…read…type…click…read…type…click…AAAAARRRYYYAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! WTF!!!...click…read…type…