Ranking the X-Men Movies

"Mutation: it is the key to our evolution. It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism into the dominant species on the planet. This process is slow, and normally taking thousands and thousands of years. But every few hundred millennia, evolution leaps forward." - Professor Charles Xavier.

I've finally leapt forward.

What I mean is that after several failed late night attempts, I took the opposite tact, hopped out of the bed early one insomnia riddled morning and watched the entirety of X-Men: Apocalypse. Rather than writing a review on it, I figured I'd just make a list. After all, this marks my completion of all the X-Men films to this point. For this list, I am including all ten movies that exist within the same universe.

10. X-Men: The Last Stand

(2006)

Back in 2006, it wasn't yet the norm for superhero flicks to run two-and-a-half hours. However, that's precisely what The Last Stand should've been, if not a full three hours. It brings the most famous story line from the X-Men comics, the Dark Phoenix Saga, to the silver screen. On the page it took almost a year to tell its story and provides a rich source for what should be an epic film. Instead, we got a truncated mess of a movie that crams everything into little more than an hour and a half and fails on every level.

9. X-Men Origins: Wolverine

(2009)

Speaking of failing on every level, there's this solo debut of the franchises most popular character, Wolverine. The strange thing, and what saves it from the bottom spot on this list, is that it starts with a brilliant montage showing our hero alongside his brother Victor as they fight in every American war from The Civil War through Vietnam. Everything after this sucks. Way too many characters crammed into a movie that alters the relationship between two characters who seemingly met for the first time in the very first X-Men, Wolverine and Sabretooth. Most egregiously, it completely screws up its depiction of Deadpool. In short, Wolverine's first solo outing was hardly solo and far less than auspicious.

8. X-Men: Apocalypse

(2016)

Despite the low ranking, this film gives us a solid villain, Apocalypse. He's a worthy opponent for our heroes, posing a very real threat. The issue with the film is that the script has to cheat to make him beatable. The things we know he can do should probably defeat the X-Men handily, but of course, this cannot be the case in a superhero franchise movie. The other issue is it seems to rehash lots of what took place in Days of Future Past. It's not as terrible as some would have you believe, but its definitely in the lower tier for this series.

7. The Wolverine

(2013)

Wolverine's second solo outing sought to right the wrongs committed by his first, and to a large extent, it did. The Wolverine forgoes the strategy of stuffing as many mutants as possible into every frame and gives us a story which greatly plays up the qualities that make its protagonist so relatable. Despite having incredible physical powers, including the ability to instantly heal his body, he's a fragile, broken man, constantly seeking to mend his soul. Things get a bit too comic-booky at the end with the big, cgi driven finale, but it's still a solid film that gives us a much better story than its predecessor. (My full review)

6. X-Men: First Class

(2011)

Though the events of X-Men Origins: Wolverine take place before the previous movies in the franchise, this is the first true prequel as it takes us back to the beginning, the formation of the X-men. We also get to see the role they played in the Cuban Missile Crisis. This is the debut of James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender as Professor Xavier and Magneto, respectively. Most important of all, this is the film where it became clear that the powers that be finally realized that non-stop action and paper thin stories are killing the series. We get a more patient story, better character development, and yes, good action scenes. It may be a bit on the slow side for the whiz-bang crowd that made both the first Wolverine movie and The Last Stand highly profitable, but I thoroughly enjoyed this one. (My full review)

5. X-Men: Days of Future Past

(2014)

Or, The X-Men Go to Washington. This installment sees Wolverine traveling back in time to stop an assassination that will lead to the creation of the weapons known as The Sentinels. These sentinels will very likely destroy the X-Men. Like in First Class, the continued development of Magneto is a major focal point. Mystique is also a more prominent figure from a human standpoint. Throughout the series, she's been an important player when it comes to the chess match played between Xavier and Magneto, but here we really begin to find out who she is. And it doesn't hurt that this film has two of the franchise's most spectacular sequences, Quicksilver's "Time in a Bottle" and Magneto lifting an entire stadium.

4. X-Men

(2000)

The original introduces much of the movie going world to the X-Men as a whole, and Wolverine in particular. Despite being the first film in the franchise, it holds up as good as any because it deals with its themes of prejudice and the fight for civil rights in a way tangible to even the dullest of popcorn munchers. With Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellen manning the roles of Xavier and Magneto, in that order, this is the first superhero movie to give us the dignity in its main players usually reserved for elderly, noble sidekicks. Along with Blade from two years earlier and Spider-Man two years later, this movie was a major cog in starting the current superhero craze.

3. X2: X-Men United

(2003)

Until very recently, this was my clear number one when it came to this franchise. Despite its fall from that lofty perch, this is still a fantastic movie. Magneto is still imprisoned after the events of the first film and Wolverine has wandered off in search of the truth about his past. Colonel Stryker shows up and is trying to kill every mutant on Earth. Like the first film, the theme of discrimination is thoroughly explored. This time, that exploration expands beyond race and cultural differences to include sexuality. The stakes feel higher thanks to some narrative chances taken throughout the film and the action is better with Wolverine and some of the younger characters being unshackled. And of course, the opening sequence of Nightcrawler running rough shod through the White House is ridiculously good.

2. Deadpool

(2016)

The existence of this film completely ignores the events of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, except for when it directly references it. And that's the beauty of Deadpool. It's a completely self-aware superhero movie that acknowledges many of the genre's routine mistakes and even some of its own. It pokes fun at superhero movie tropes left, right, and center and unburdens itself of the task of chasing the biggest box-office profit by going with a hard-R rating instead of a PG-13. The genius of it all is it then gives us those same tropes and makes them work. It gives Deadpool fans the portrayal of the character they had been clamoring for with a pitch perfect performance from Ryan Reynolds in the title role. It's hilarious and brutal. I couldn't ask for anything more. (My full review)

1. Logan

(2017)

The swan song for Hugh Jackman as Logan, aka Wolverine, is his best turn in the franchise's best movie. On the surface, it finally unleashes the character's violent full potential and earns its R-rating with a bevy of brutal action scenes. That's the easy part. Luckily, the film masters the hard part. Our hero is a weary, decaying man. The person closest to him, Professor Xavier, is also falling apart. The only thing either has to cling to is the other. There is much weight on Logan's shoulders, it is crushing him, and we feel every bit of it. This final entry is not merely about a superhero. It's about a man whose body and spirit are fading rapidly, yet he has one more task for them both. (My full review)

If you're familiar with Sati over at Cinematic Corner, then you know she's gone all in on the Hugh Jackman love fest. Check out a great post she put together this week called "(Probably Endless) List of Things I Love About Logan, Part 1."

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