You know that one friend or relative you haven't seen in a while, but when they show up they act like they just saw you yesterday?
Oh, hey. Welcome to Thursday Movie Picks. This week, our wonderful host, Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves, has chosen natural disasters for a topic. There are so many great choices. I'll let you pick those. Since I'm feeling a bit salty about (at myself) for missing last week and being given the green light to talk about bad movies, I'm taking that opportunity this time around. These movies SUCK!
(2004)
When I watched it, my head started hurting from all the nonsense the movie kept hitting me in the skull with. I read up on it yesterday to refresh my memory and the headaches came back. It was some silliness about ice caps melting, and plunging into another ice age. Now, either of those events aren't that far-fetched. What is ridiculous is that it happens all in like a week's time. Truth told, that's not what got to me. You know what did it? Dennis Quaid, our hero, has a son who is stranded in Manhattan. So, of course, he decides to go save him. By walking. From Philadelphia. In less time than it would take me to drive it on a sunny day. And because of his plot powers, finds the kid practically as soon as he steps foot on the frozen over island. Immediately, I felt the sting of the screenwriter calling me stupid to my face. It was as if he said, "If they believed all that other mumbo jumbo they'll fall for anything. Sigh. That bottle of ibuprofen in my cabinet is looking mighty good right now. All of it.
(2009)
After Y2K proved to be a dud, we needed another end of the world conspiracy to believe in. So we all glommed onto the Ancient Mayan prophecy of us meeting our doom in 2012. There just HAD to be a movie about it, right? And who worse, ahem, better to direct such a flick than the ultimate disaster porn star himself, Roland Emmerich? In his version of the prophecy, the earth's core has heated up the Earth's core to a liquid state, causing all sorts of mayhem on the surface. Okay, fine. Stuff does go to hell in a handbasket, because that's what Emmerich does. Like The Day After Tomorrow, the human stupidity is what destroys things for me. That includes an eye-rollingly bad family reunion story. In fact, my eyes are rolling right now. Woops. There they go, right out of my head. I'll get those back in before talking about the last movie.
(2017)
Have you ever thought about what it would be like if every type of storm on this little blue ball of ours happened at once and were combined into a great, big, giant, mega, ultra, macro, geostorm? If you have, you're halfway to writing this movie. You wanna finish it? Here ya go. Humans can stop this super, jumbo, mongo, colossal, gigantic, gargantuan, geostorm. How? We have a machine for that, okay. No, no, yeah, it can just zap 'em. You know what, you might be able to make that work. Now slather a heaping helping of Gerard Butler all over it. To be fair, I just recently watched Butler in a pretty good disaster flick, Greenland. Here? he's like an entire bottle of maple syrup and a few packs of sugar poured over a chocolate bar that's already been dipped in butter.
Click here for more Thursday Movie Picks
We share a pick with The Day After Tomorrow... it was OK but they really dumb things down with the science and it hasn't aged well at all. 2012... wow, that was a real piece of shit and so overblown. Roland Emmerich should just stop. He's only made a few decent movies such as The Patriot but the fact that he made a movie about Stonewall that was so bad that the LGBTQ community joked about going back to the closet. I haven't seen Geostorm because SHUT-UP BUTTWAD is a twat!
ReplyDelete"Buttwad is a twat".....Hahahaaaaahahaaa!!
DeleteI still haven't seen The Patriot yet. Agreed, Emmerich should stop. As for Buttwad, a twat indeed, lol.
DeleteThe Day After Tomorrow is played on TV almost every weekend somewhere. It's an ok flick if you throw out anything regarding reality. The chick goes back to help the woman in the cab not seeing the huge wave coming at them. You know that lady and her daughter went with the cop later and froze to death but they ignored that just like the one guy's kid brother whom you also know bit the dust. I hate that wolves are almost always evil and look like something the devil conjured up. I laughed that Quaid's character sees the freeze coming his way but seems to have the ability to find a place that he can throw his dead-weight partner in and light a fire in the span of 30 seconds. Oh and that puny fire saves their ass....hahahaaa. 2012 I saw once...ughhh. I have not seen Geostorm but want to now just from that clip you show.
ReplyDeleteIf I had a nickel for every time I came across The Day After Tomorrow while channel surfing I'd have a much better TV, lol. Geostorm is only good for a laugh.
DeleteGreat list! We both match on Geostorm!
ReplyDeleteCoo. Thanks!
DeleteHey Dell I've been peeking in every now and then the last couple of months and now I look away for a few days and you come roaring back! I'll have to go back over the last couple of days and catch up!
ReplyDeleteNow to your picks. The Day After Tomorrow is dumb as a box of rocks but I love every foolish moment of it!! I knew when I walked in to scale down my expectations-Dennis Quaid headlining a major movie, how many hands did the script have to pass through to land on his doorstep? I just watch and giggle at the preposterousness of it all.
2012 is one that made me react the way you do to TDAT. There's foolish and fun and then there's just plain foolish. It's the second. Fortunately I've block the entirety of it from my mind other than the fact that John Cusack gets more annoying with each passing day.
I haven't seen Geostorm but I feel as a disaster movie junkie that I must! I'll probably rue the day but perhaps it will be so bad that its good.
I've used so many of my favorites that I decided to pick films where the disaster was intrinsic to the plot but not the main thrust of the film.
The Colossus of Rhodes (1961)-Soldier Darios (Rory Calhoun) arrives on the Isle of Rhodes during the Hellenistic period to finds King Serse (Roberto Camardiel) has commissioned a larger-than-life statue of Apollo (destined to be one of the 7 Wonders of the Ancient World) meant to protect the harbor. Upon meeting master builder Carete (Félix Fernández), who has been commissioned to erect the statue Darios falls in love with his daughter Diala (Léa Massari). Through their alliance Darios also becomes involved with Peliocles (Georges Marchal) and his rebel force who seek to overthrow the tyrannical king. As a revolt foments a massive earthquake lays waste to nearly all.
Tornado (1943)-Coal miner Pete Ramsey (Chester Morris) has a whirlwind romance with rapacious showgirl Victory Kane (Nancy Kelly) who is passing through town and impulsively marries her. Social climbing Victory pushes Pete to work his way up in the company to enter a high tax bracket but still unsatisfied takes up with Gary Linden (Morgan Conway), the philandering son of the mine owner behind Pete’s back. As matters come to a crisis point the title tornado blows into town and coal isn’t the only thing to hit the fan.
Red Skies of Montana (1952)-After a tragic incident that resulted in the loss of his crew smokejumper Cliff Mason (Richard Widmark), unable to recall the event, is fearful that cowardice might have been at fault. Though cleared though an investigation he is determined to prove himself again especially since one man's son, Ed Miller (Jeffrey Hunter), suspects Cliff was responsible for his father's death. When a canyon wildfire breaks out Ed pursues Cliff there for a confrontation but when they become trapped Cliff must take desperate measures to save them both.
What's up, Joel! Looking forward to your comments on my last few posts. If you haven't seen Geostorm, I'd say that it is a prime candidate for so bad it's awesome.
DeleteI haven't seen any of your picks. This is my first time even hearing of The Colossus of Rhodes. I want to see Tornado most of the three.
Oh man, I forgot 2012 was a thing. (Both the film, and the rapture) Those were the times. lol
ReplyDeleteI've only seen The Day After Tomorrow and I was like 12, so of course I loved it haha.
ReplyDelete