Monday, February 28, 2022

So Bad It's Good Blogathon: Single Black Female

     A while back, I was invited via tweet to participate in the So Bad It's Good Blogathon hosted by Rebecca at Taking Up Room. I said I was going to join as soon as I saw the announcement a couple months ago. How could I not? It’s right up my alley. Besides that, she was kind enough to join my last blogathon. The first thing I had to was figure out what movie to write about. I didn’t make that decision right away, so of course, it drifted away on the wind and wasn’t thought about by me until a day or two ago. Someone else’s post showed up on my Twitter timeline and I was like, “Oh shit! I forgot about that!” Luckily, the Movie God was looking out for me and compelled the good people at Lifetime to make a movie right up my alley.

    I’m a sucker for a Fatal Attraction rip-off. If you haven’t seen Fatal Attraction, I’m talking psycho stalker/friend/lover movie. No matter how rotten they are, I love them. The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, Poison Ivy, Obsessed, The Boy Next Door, Tyler Perry’s Acrimony, all varying degrees of terrible, but I love them nonetheless. One of my favorites? 1992’s Single White Female is a genre classic. Imagine my excitement when I saw an ad for Lifetime’s unabashed race-swap, Single Black Female. And as I said, it had the Lifetime label on it. If that’s not a sign you’re going to watch pure excrement, I don’t know what is. So, yeah, my heart filled with glee.


    Glee is the only word I could use to describe my emotion because our psycho stalker is played by Glee alum Amber Riley. Raven Goodwin mans the role of stalkee. It’s rather intentional casting, to say the least. I’ll get into why that seems to be the case in a bit. Goodwin’s character is named Monica, a media personality angling for her own afternoon talk show. She’s in competition with Elodie (Ownbey), who fits the typical TV host mold - thin, white, blonde. Monica is the opposite of all that, but still gets the job, much to Elodie’s chagrin. Amber Riley’s Simon is hired to be Monica’s assistant. As other characters remark, the two share some physical likeness. Here's where that casting comes in. They tried to one up the original by having the two leads already resemble each other. We've no time to watch our resident psycho completely make herself over to look like the heroine. We gotta shorthand that shit. This also helps us get to the key difference between the two pretty quickly. Simone is crazy. No, Simone is kuh-ray-zee!

    Pretty soon, Simone is inserting herself in Monica’s personal life. She starts wearing Monica’s clothes and chasing after Monica’s man, just like Jennifer Jason Leigh did to Bridget Fonda in Single White Female. Whatever you think of that movie, please understand that it’s cranked up to 11. It also moves at breakneck speed. That speed is key to the Lifetime formula for horribleness. Just about every movie they make is a race to the ending. When you know your flick has to pause every so often for commercial breaks you have to keep things popping so viewers will stick around rather than flipping away to something that’s not playing a tampon ad. Therefore, nearly every scene of this thing is packed with maximum nuttiness. Their insanity becomes ours. “Oh my gosh, these people are stupid!” “Can’t you see what she’s up to?” “Beat that bitch’s ass!” If you’re not screaming some variation of these terms at the screen during a Lifetime “Original” while rolling your eyes and/or audibly sighing, you’re not watching it right.


    You want smart storytelling that engages you on an intellectual level? Turn. There’s nothing here but stupidity and sleaze.

    You want an auteur to pull you into the story with the help of an ace cinematographer, a resonating score, and slick editing. Nope. You get stock shots, cheesy music, and a rushed plot slapped together by whatever crew they pulled off their assembly line.

    You desire top-notch acting by performers subtly conveying emotion and drawing out your empathy? Nah, take this over-the-top, reality TV-esque divaliciousness or get the hell out! To hell with just wire hangers. No more wire hangers, plastic hangers, hanging up pictures, hangin’ with Mr. Cooper – just don’t hang nothin’, periodt! No typos, that ‘t’ is for emphasis, and it must be said in full throat while rolling your eyes, head, and shoulders. Yes, you must do it this way, too, regardless of your ethnicity or sexual orientation.

    Single Black Female isn’t as much a movie as it is a delightfully shameless turd embracing itself and reveling in its crappiness. Normally, turds are no laughing matter. However, in this case it’s an endless supply of chuckles. I’ve no choice but to be amused by something this terrible. The best part is that, like most turds, it’s doesn’t know that’s what it is. It’s shit that thinks it’s shinola. This is how we get that thing that makes movies like this amazing – unintentional humor. I laughed harder at this than I have almost any comedy released in the last decade. It’s THAT funny. And it doesn’t even know it! Think about the people in your life who make you laugh when they don’t mean to. Most of us say, or think, “Bless your heart,” and love them for who they are.


    Bless your heart, Single Black Female. I love you.

Please head over to Rebecca's blog and check out other entries in this blogathon. While you're there, check out he whole site.

8 comments:

  1. I'm sure this looks like something so bad yet so fucking hilarious. I don't watch Lifetime films as it's unlikely I'll watch this. At least you had fun.

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    1. Yeah, the Lifetime Originals are a joke of a lot.

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  2. Oh muh gosh, Lifetime is tailor-made for So Bad It's Good as long as you can stand it. I may have to look for this one. Thanks so much for joining the blogathon, Dell--so glad you were able to give us this cool review!

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    1. Yes, that's exactly what Lifetime is. Thanks for the invite!

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  3. I spent six years in the Marine Corps. I've been through two wars and have eaten things that would make a Billy Goat puke. Even I can't imagine the guts it took to sit through this movie. I salute you :)

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    1. Lmao!!! Thanks. And your salute is returned by my own to you.

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