The Hills Run Red

Director: Dave Parker.
2009. Rated R, 81 minutes.
Cast:
Tad Hilgenbrink
Sophie Monk
William Sadler
Janet Montgomery

Plot: Avid horror movie buff Tyler (Hilgenbrink) convinces his girlfriend and best friend to go on a journey deep into the woods to find a long lost slasher flick from the 1980s.

The Good: It knows what it is and what its purpose is so it keeps the pedal to the metal right from the start. What that means is even during the early parts we would expect to be slow the director is doing everything he can to hold your attention. Every minute or two we get random shots, supposedly from the missing movie, of someone getting an axe to the head, or their body torn in half or otherwise mutilated. And of course, there's a fair amount of female bare-chestedness. Gratuitous isn't a strong enough word for what's going on here. Narratively, its actually pretty solid as meat grinders go, setting us up nicely for the twist at about the 2/3 mark.

The Bad: With that twist comes huge, gaping plotholes that are never closed. Worse than this is like most hack 'em ups, it never engages us on any intrinsic level so actually scaring its audience is out of the question. It just repeatedly tries to jolt and/or repulse you. The problem than becomes there's so much of it early on, we've already become numb to it by the time the movie wants to shift us into overdrive. Another issue is our hero, Tyler. The movie wants you to empathize with him but its hard to because he's both a moron and a jerk. About five minutes in, I started wishing hard for his not-so-swift and extremely bloody death.

The Ugly: How our homicidal maniac, Babyface (Danko Jordanov), gets his name is ugly. How he came to be born is far uglier. Ewww.

Recommendation: This is absolutely, positively strictly for slasher/gore fans. If you're the type of person who just has to see every Saw movie and got excited when you found out the remake to My Bloody Valentine was not only going to be indeed bloody, but in 3-D, this is for you. If you're not, don't even think about it.

The Opposite View: Slasher flicks get a pass, here.

What the Internet Says: 5.6/10 on imdb.com, 50% on rottentomatoes.com, NA on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 4/10

SLASHER MOVIE SCORE: 7/10