Thursday, March 16, 2017

Thursday Movie Picks: Ancient World (3600 BC – 500 AD)


It's Thursday. This week that means going back in time. Way back. The topic our host Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves for Thursday Movie Picks is movies about the "ancient" world. She sets the dates for that as between 3600 BC to 500 AD. Now, I'm not checking the dates on when any of these movies were set, I'm just going to assume they fit.


Jason and the Argonauts
(1963)
This is the story of Jason (Todd Armstrong) and his quest for the The Golden Fleece. I must have watched this movie a dozen times. I'd come in the house on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, and there it was on the TV. I'd stop and watch the rest of it every single time. Sure, nowadays the stop-motion animation is terribly dated, but I love it just the same.

War Goddess
(1973)
As it turns out, right next door to Ancient Greece, there was an Amazonian, all female society. Every four years they have an intense athletic competition to decide who will be the queen in the interim. The deciding event is a topless wrestling match between the final two contestants. So yeah, this isn't exactly as family-friendly as Jason and the Argonauts. Those Ancient Greeks do come into play. Our heroines use them breeding purposes every year. No, I'm serious. Sigh. Just click here for my full review.

300: Rise of an Empire
(2014)
A few years earlier, 300, in all it's macho-homoerotic glory was a huge hit, thanks to amazing visuals and lots and lots of slow motion swordplay. The sequel tried to give us more of the same, and amps up that homo-eroticism about a thousand notches. Plus, it has Eva Green ravenously dining on scenery as if her life depends on it. Like War Goddess, this isn't here because it's a good movie. It's here because it's bad, so bad, it's awesome! Click here for my full review.


Before I get out of here, I've got to talk about last week's topic. I was really pumped about it, but just couldn't find the time to create a post for it. However, I didn't want to let it pass. So, here it is...

Remakes/Sequels/Reboots (of a movie that hasn't got one) You Want to See

Spawn
(1997)
Needed: Reboot
For the record, I actually like this movie. I found it a solid superhero flick. Michael Jai White was solid in the lead, but it's carried by an amazing performance from John Leguizamo in the bad guy role. However, it was not a film worthy of one of the coolest comic book heroes of all-time. For starters, and I said this long before the success of Deadpool, Spawn is a movie hampered by its PG-13 rating. If you don't think so, go watch the excellent HBO animated series of the same name. A reboot does have some legs, very wobbly ones, but legs nonetheless. Character creator Todd McFarlane wants to do one. The problem appears to be two-fold. First, he insists on directing it himself. Second, it looks like it's going to take a pretty hefty budget. I've got my fingers crossed this actually happens.

Salt
(2010)
Needed: Sequel
Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) is an operative for the CIA who suddenly becomes suspected of being a Russian spy. The result is one of my favorite chase movies of all-time. The ending is wide open, going so far as to promise a sequel. The night I went to see it, I left the theater all pumped up to see the sequel. Alas, none has come. Last I heard, a couple years ago, Jolie was not happy with the script she received for the proposed Salt 2. Click here for my full review.

Blue is the Warmest Color
(2013)
Needed: Sequel
This French film from 2013 blew me away when I first saw. It's about a couple in a lesbian relationship known for its graphic, and extended, sex scenes, but that's not what it's really about. This is a film that soars on the universality of the issues they go through. It's an absorbing film that moves swiftly despite a rather lengthy runtime. This might be strange to say about a three hour film in which the characters are explored so thoroughly, but it didn't feel like their story was done. The only news about continuing that story that I've seen is that the director, Abdellatif Kechiche, is "open to a sequel." Apparently, it was a difficult shoot, highlighted by clashes with his stars so I doubt it will happen, but I hope so. Click here for my full review.


24 comments:

  1. I'm with you on a reboot of Spawn. In fact, I thought the animated TV series from HBO had it right though it's a shame it didn't last. I don't know if I want a sequel for Blue is the Warmest Colour as I think it's ending is perfect. Maybe a sequel 10 years from when the film was released.

    I haven't seen Jason and the Argonauts which I hold my hand in shame as it's something I need to see. I have seen the sequel to 300. It was OK though Eva Green was awesome as usual.

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    1. The HBO show did have it right. I can see that about Blue. Please see Jason and the Argonauts.

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  2. A topless wrestling match? lol of course. Of course that's what it is. I didn't care for the 300 sequel but Eva Green is so alluring.

    YES to a sequal of Blue is the Warmest Color. I actually had to remind myself I was watching a movie at the end because I though "Oh man, I hope everything works out okay for Adele."

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    1. Oh, it gets better than topless wrestling, or worse, depending on your point of view.

      That's the way I felt at the end of Blue.

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  3. Glad to see you back this week Dell! I laughed with recognition when you said how Jason and the Argonauts always seemed to be on Saturdays and Sundays. It truly was a staple along with Godzilla, The Vikings and Abbott & Costello. It is a fun entry in its genre and the stop action animation must have been extraordinary in its day.

    You've got me on War Goddess. I used to watch all that sort of 70's sword & sandal schlock like Deathstalker, Conan the Barbarian and so forth but this one alluded me. Sounds like cheesy fun.

    The first 300 was fun since its look was so new at the time but by the time of this sequel it was just the same old, same old.

    I LOVE this genre but to me it's all about those 50's pageants with casts of thousands and a rich burnished look. I'll give anything in the genre a try but when I really get a yen for one it HAS to be from that period...sadly I've used my go to title the wonderfully excessive and often arch The Ten Commandments before so here are three others that represent that time (I could have named dozens!)

    Quo Vadis? (1951)-Huge, impressive epic of Nero’s (Peter Ustinov) reign and his persecution of the Christians. Against the broader scale of the story (with amazing sets and a literal cast of thousands) is the tale of Roman general Marcus Vinicius (Robert Taylor) who falls in love with the Christian Lygia (Deborah Kerr) and slowly adopts her religion, a very dangerous decision for the time. Vast in scope with pageantry and a human feel that can’t be replicated by CGI that thanks to the direction and performances, Leo Genn is particularly fine as Marcus’s Uncle Petronius, remains more accessible than many similar films of the period.

    Land of the Pharaohs (1955)-Hooty nonsense about the building of the Great Pyramid in ancient Egypt. Packed with quality British actors, including Jack Hawkins, James Robertson Justice and Sydney Chaplin, extravagantly playing to the back row and best of all (well most campily of all anyway) a young and very beautiful Joan Collins vamping it up as the pharaoh’s wife Nellifer. To say she’s good would be a stretch but she sure is entertaining. The usually excellent Howard Hawks doesn’t seem to have a handle on the pace of the story so despite the florid ridiculousness of the picture it occasionally drags.

    Demetrius and the Gladiators (1954)-Fictional sequel to The Robe picks up where that film ended. The movie follows two stories: faithful Demetrius (Victor Mature) the soldier converted to Christianity in the first picture is pressed into being a gladiator and catches the eye of the salacious Messalina (Susan Hayward) wife of Emperor Caligula’s uncle which causes a crisis of conscience. Meanwhile the mad Caligula pursues Jesus’s robe believing it to have magical powers. Star-studded if improbably cast (i.e. Ernest Borgnine as a Roman centurion) with future stars Anne Bancroft and Julie Newmar appearing briefly. Nicely produced if a bit overblown.

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    1. What's amazing about that is Jason is a singular movie while the others had sizable catalogs to pull from.

      I hope you click over and check out the full review of War Goddess. I think you'll find are familiar with at least one person who had a hand in putting it together. BTW, I almost picked Deathstalker, too.

      The first 300 is clearly the superior movie. The second is rather ridiculous in all the wrong, but right ways.

      I've not seen any of your picks...unless you count The Ten Commandments. Been 30+ years since I have, though. Probably time for a revisit.

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  4. About you three for remakes, sequels or reboots. I haven't seen Spawn in ages, probably since it was out so my memories of it are very vague but a redo would be fun. I keep meaning to see Blue is the Warmest Color but it never seems to make the top of my queue, must correct.

    Now a sequel to Salt would be cool. It was an entertaining roller coaster ride but there's always the risk with continuations that they'll end up a mere shadow of the first. At this point it's been so long it might be best to let it be, I always had hopes for a follow up the The Italian Job which got far enough to actually have a title "The Brazilian Job" but then stalled when the stars availability didn't come together, now it's been so long it would be better to just have it be an independent entry.

    I thought this was a fun theme since it allowed a bit of flight of fancy in the picks. I came up with these three.

    Sequel:
    The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015)-Sequels are tricky affairs usually a lesser shadow of the original but occasionally as with Aliens it works out well so I’m usually hopeful. Man from U.N.C.L.E. was a stylish, fast paced affair with a terrific vintage look and relaxed, enjoyable performances from the three leads and Hugh Grant as their wry boss. It didn’t perform as well as expected so this probably won’t happen which is too bad since it was a more realistic adventure with less reliance on CGI than most current actioners.

    And two remakes:
    I’m not much for remakes of classics, what’s the point? You can’t improve on perfection so unless a new perspective or element can be added leave well enough alone. My first is an example of adding a different element. However sometimes a good idea receives faulty execution, occasionally even the best filmmakers stumble and then I say have at it. That would be my second.

    8 Women (2002)-This French musical mystery farce is a one of a kind concoction, wonderfully entertaining with a cast full of the best feminine Gallic cast of the day (Catherine Deneuve, Fanny Ardant and Isabelle Huppert among them). It would have been hard for it to turn out better. But since women’s films and musicals are thin on the ground despite the abundance of talent available an American remake would be great to see especially since the cast runs across all adult age brackets, hell it even has a custom made role for Angela Lansbury as the matriarch.

    Topaz (1969)-Every great director has a lemon in their filmography, this exercise in boredom is Alfred Hitchcock’s. Sluggish to the point of ennui and indifferently acted it was difficult to get through even once. The thing is the basic story, a Russian agent defects and during his interview tells of another supposedly friendly country’s spy ring that is selling high risk secrets to the highest bidder, is a good one and has great potential to be made into an excellent film. If the studios feel the need to remake the Master’s work than start with this fumble and not one of his successes.

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    1. Please see Blue is the Warmest Color. Amazing movie. Just be sure there are no youngsters around.

      The Man From U.N.C.L.E. wasn't bad, but didn't quite work for me. Too convoluted. Still, I wouldn't be opposed to a sequel.

      Haven't seen either of your choices for remakes. The Hitchcock flick sounds like a good choice based on your logic. On the other hand, an American remake of a French musical has disaster written all over it, no matter who is in the cast.

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  5. All for Spawn remake! That would be awesome! Salt was one of the better movies Jolie did in the last 10 years.

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  6. LOVE Jason and the Argonauts! Also loved 300, but never saw the sequel, despite Sullivan Stapleton and Eva Green. I may need to fix that.

    Blue is the Warmest Color was actually based on a graphic novel in which (SPOILER ALERT) Adele is dead, and Emma is reading the story of their relationship from Adele's diary. SOOOOOOOOO.... a sequel would feel kinda wrong somehow lol. But I am HERE for a Salt sequel and a Spawn reboot!

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    1. Let's be clear about the 300 sequel. It's not good. Just want to put that out there in case I led you to believe otherwise.

      You just rained on my parade with that info about Blue is the Warmest Color. Think I'm going to find a corner to ball up in and cry.

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    2. Oh, I know EXACTLY what I'm in for with the 300 sequel. Not to worry!

      I feel like I should add that the film of Blue is the Warmest Color is far enough away from the source material that they could totally do a sequel that had nothing to do with the source material AT ALL. So your parade absolutely does NOT have to be rained on!

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    3. That's good news on both counts.

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  7. I hated the 300 movies. A sequel to Blue is the Warmest Colour would be interesting but I'm not so sure about it now that I've read Daniel's comment.

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    1. Fair enough on the 300 movies. Yeah, Daniel kicked me in the gut with that one, too.

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  8. I'm surprised you picked 300: Rise of an Empire, I liked the first well, but this one seems off for me. But I like it that you picked Jason & The Argonauts. You know what stuck in my mind till now? The stop motion!

    Anyway, I'm with you with Spawn reboot. Michael B. Jordan will be a great pick!

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    1. Oh, Rise of an Empire is off, way off. It's bad enough that I laughed often while watching it. Glad to see some love for Jason and the Argonauts. I love Michael B. Jordan, but would love to see someone less obvious get a crack at it. Don't ask me who.

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  9. First the reboots/sequels....I never saw Spawn because it looked bad but I am all for a reboot. I did like SALT and think it is one of the better Jolie films. I hope they do make a good sequel, I have not seen Blue is the Warmest Colour and not into seeing 2 women getting it on even if it's in a good film. I'm not a prude and applaud any person who falls i. Love or lust no matt what the sex but I'd much rather see opposite sex or 2 men if they have to show it in detail at all.....maybe I am a prude...Ick! As for the ancient.....OMG! Love Jason and the Argonauts and I still think Ray Harryhausen rocks! If this isn the one with the skeletons fighting, which I think it is, I found it great! The titty fest of the amazon women makes me laugh just reading your review and I will pass on the 300 sequel. I liked the first 300 with Gerard Butler but this looks bad.

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    1. Lots of people disliked Spawn. I don't think it's great, but I do find it underrated. I've got my fingers crossed for Salt, still. Fair enough on Blue.

      This is definitely the one with the skeletons fighting. Classic. And this 300 is bad, lol.

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  10. Wearing my teacher hat, I clicked this one just ready to slam dunk a lesson plan for the last week of school (cough, coughlastthreeweeks cough, cough) with your selections...and clearly, I was denied at the rim, as a giant Dikembe finger wagged in my face. Sorry, kids. One is too old....and the other two...well, I've got bills to pay.

    But for me? I'm all in for War Goddess. I mean, that's the way all athletic competitions should be settled, amiright?

    Oh, and as a guy who was there for opening day of Spawn, I feel you. Let's reboot that f--ker asap. But let's bring back Leguizamo!

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    1. Love the Mutombo reference. Being rather short, I will take any implication that I denied someone at the rim as a major compliment. But yeah, definitely NSFMS.

      Yes.

      And yes.

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  11. Ahhh....300: Rise of an Empire was sooo bad. I don't think it's quite reached the so bad, it's awesome yet for me.

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    1. It didn't at first, but the more I thought about it, the worse/better it got.

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