RED 2

Directed by Dean Parisot.

2013. Rated PG-13, 116 minutes.

Cast:

Bruce Willis

Mary-Louise Parker

John Malkovich

Catherine Zeta-Jones

Byung-hun Lee

Helen Mirren

Anthony Hopkins

Neal McDonough

Brian Cox

After the events of the first RED, secret agent Frank (Willis) and his then damsel-in-distress Sarah (Parker) have settled down to a nice quiet life. While out shopping for power tools, they run into Marvin (Malkovich) who informs them that people are still after him and he needs Frank to join him in catching some bad guys. Thinking Marvin is crazy, Frank declines, despite Sarah's protestations. She's become bored with the quiet life. Marvin approaches them again in the store parking lot. Frank turns him down again. Next thing you know, Marvin's car blows up with him in it. This sets in motion a chain of events that leads our heroes around the world, picking up Victoria (Mirren) and Ivan (Cox) along the way. Eventually, things lead to a thingamajig that could blow up everything. Meanwhile, the number of people after them grows and contracts at various points.

RED 2 does the same thing as its predecessor in terms of how it handles its characters. It takes a bunch of stars and lets them all kind of do their thing. They form a totally charming ensemble and appear to be having loads of fun. Regardless of what's going on, it's a blast watching them. Most enjoyable is John Malkovich. No, Marvin doesn't die in the explosion. Spoiler alert not needed. He plays the paranoid, slightly crazed, but ultimately wise agent to perfection. Bruce Willis seems to be stifling laughter much of the time which is always amusing. Helen Mirren once again kicks ass as the cold-blooded assassin whose really a romantic at heart, but gets less screen time this go round. Still, her exchanges with Brian Cox are very funny. This core group is joined by Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Byung-hun Lee, and Neal McDonough all taking glorious turns chewing chunks of scenery. Zeta-Jones is particularly good in her role as "Frank Moses kryptonite."

Unfortunately, the story our heroes and villains tell fails them. Individually, the various elements of the tale could all make their own fun little movie. Thrown together haphazardly, as they are, it's a convoluted mess. Our focus has to jump around the numerous strands, all of which are pulled together in the most contrived ways imaginable. It attempts to be a roller coaster of epic proportions. Instead of gliding through the loops and being pulled joyously from the heights by gravity, we're jerked about the tracks as the frame creaks and sent plunging toward the earth, uncertain the ride will hold up under our weight.

The difference between our feelings about the performers and their material is vast. As viewers, we're left in a weird spot. We enjoy watching them employ their craft. They make us laugh. So the movie functions fairly well as a comedy. However, we're rolling our eyes at the actual events taking place. There are too many of them and they don't quite work with each other. The chefs in this particular kitchen have thrown a bunch of ingredients together without any rhyme or reason and created a dish that has some great elements, but doesn't quite work.

Rock of Ages

Directed by Adam Shankman.

2012. Rated PG-13, 123 minutes.

Cast:

Tom Cruise

Julianne Hough

Diego Boneta

Alec Baldwin

Catherine Zeta-Jones

Russell Brand

Paul Giamatti

Bryan Cranston

Malin Akerman

Mary J. Blige

Will Forte 

Kevin Nash

It is 1987 and The Bourbon Room is a legendary rock-n-roll club on Hollywood’s famed Sunset Strip. It’s where aspiring singers like Sherrie (Hough) come for a job when they’re fresh off the bus from their small hometowns. After all, rock god Stacee Jax (Cruise) got his start there and is coming back for his last show with his band, Arsenal, before embarking on a solo career. It’s where Drew (Boneta) already works. He fancies two things: Sherrie and being the next Stacee Jax. The Bourbon is also in the cross hairs of Mayor Whitmore (Cranston) and his high-profile and overzealous wife Patricia (Zeta-Jones). They are looking to clean up the strip, starting with its most famous den of sin. The Bourbon is run by Dennis (Baldwin) and his right hand man Lonny (Brand) and it is going broke. These story lines swirl about as now classic, pop infused rock songs blare through the speakers.

Rock of Ages is a musical in the most traditional sense of the word. Anytime and any place, people break into song while whoever is around dutifully provides background vocals and perform choreographed dance routines. Some are better than others, but all of them are cheesy. Regardless, they’re often saved by the sheer power of the songs they’re singing. You pretty much can’t help singing along if you've ever heard any of them before which is to say you've probably heard them a thousand times. However, after each song is done, we realize that what we just ate is not particularly filling. On the other hand, this changes a bit when there are actual stage performances. Most of them have more genuine emotion and edge to them thanks, in large part, to Tom Cruise. He seems to be channeling Axl Rose, both on and off the stage. It’s a mesmerizing turn by Cruise that, in a better movie, might have earned him some love during awards season.

The rest of the cast delivers mixed results and are not aided by the hackneyed writing. Paul Giamatti is great because that’s what he always is. Thankfully, he only sings a couple of bars in the whole movie. Bryan Cranston is mostly just there cheering on his wife, or sneaking out of the room to cheat on her. Russell Brand does his best Russell Brand impersonation, take it or leave it. Alec Baldwin is not as good as he is in those Capitol One commercials, except for when he gets to sing. He’s obviously thrilled someone was willing to pay him to croon. Now, he’s not the X factor or anything, but he appears to be having so much fun belting out tunes it’s infectious. That writing let him and Brand down in a major way, though. Musicals are, by nature, contrived. However, the turn their relationship takes feels so forced it’s beyond absurd. It only becomes what it is in order to wedge in the song they sing together. In contrast to Baldwin, we have Catherine Zeta-Jones. She is very good for most of the movie but terribly botches her big number. Her singing is okay, I guess, but watching her stiffly mimic old Michael Jackson moves is painful.

Speaking of painful, that’s precisely the way to describe the work turned in by our two young lovebirds. Julianne Hough is pretty, but hardly compelling and seems to be replaceable by any number of twenty-something Hollywood blondes. Ditto for Malin Akerman as Rolling Stone reporter Constance Sack. Believe it, or not, Diego Boneta fares even worse as Drew. His character struggles with being true to himself, and be a rocker, or do what his manager wants and front a boy band. Sadly, he’s not believable in either case. And more bad writing hurts him further. Early on, his character suffers from stage-fright. I get that even more suspension of belief is required to watch musicals than most other genres. Still, I’m hard pressed to accept that a guy whom I just saw give a rendition of “I Love Rock ‘n Roll” in a crowded record store, while dancing in the aisles no less, is afraid to sing once someone puts a microphone in front of him.

The better movie takes place when the two youngsters are not on the screen. It has considerable charm, again, much of which is due to Tom Cruise’s eccentric rock star. The rest is because of the familiar and still catchy songs. These tunes are fun no matter what, but a little less so when performed by Hough and Boneta who come off like a pair of posers. Perhaps, it’s because there is noticeably less grunge to either of them than anyone else in the movie. So, in addition to their blank acting, they’re both just way too glossy. Finally, that writing is just flat lazy as things are resolved suddenly without the end result feeling earned. In summation: see Rock of Ages for the music and Tom Cruise, skip it if you don’t think that will be enough.

Side Effects

Directed by Steven Soderbergh.

2013. Rated R, 106 minutes.

Cast:

Rooney Mara

Jude Law

Catherine Zeta-Jones

Channing Tatum

Vinessa Shaw

Ann Dowd

Polly Draper

David Costabile

Mamie Gummer

Having most recently tackled the super secret agent flick (Haywire) and the stripper movie (Magic Mike), director Steven Soderbergh now wrestles with the psychological/medical thriller. That means someone ends up dead fairly early. We know who did it. We just have to figure out the how, the why and if the person who did it is ultimately responsible. That who is Emily (Mara). She has been holding down the fort while waiting for her husband Martin (Tatum) to come home from prison after being convicted of insider trading. For her, this is even tougher than it is most in a similar situation because she suffers from severe depression. As one person puts it, she’s been putting on a brave face. However, shortly after Martin gets out she starts having dangerous episodes. The first of which, purposely ramming her car into a brick wall, puts her under the care of Dr. Jonathan Banks (Law). He prescribes her some medication and that’s when all the fun begins: more suicide attempts, some hardcore sleepwalking and, ultimately, murder.

The good doctor seems most affected by all the goings on. Since the case involves a brand spanking new and very high profile drug, he’s constantly hounded by the media. He loses his practice and is in the midst of losing his family as some very ugly things about his past begin to surface. Maintaining they’re not true, he sets out to expose the truth. Jude Law handles the role solidly, if unspectacularly. Of similar caliber in performance is Catherine Zeta-Jones as Dr. Victoria Siebert, Emily’s former shrink. She lets her ‘look at me, I’m smart’ glasses and vividly painted lips do most of the heavy lifting. Tatum, now a Soderbergh regular, doesn’t have much to do until it’s decided he can’t have anything to do at all. Hint.

The shining star is leading lady Rooney Mara. As with her outstanding turn in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, she gives us a thoroughly damaged young woman. Like the people in the movie, it takes a long while to figure out if she’s a victim or creator of her circumstances. Is she possibly both? Mara wrings every ounce of emotion she can from the character keeping us on our toes.

Of course, Mara is greatly aided by Soderbergh. The man simply makes beautiful looking movies. Side Effects is no exception. It’s filled with both subtle and bold touches that congeal into exquisite frames. Unfortunately, the story eventually reveals itself to be too generic for him to elevate to greatness. We figure things out too soon because it feels like any number of Basic Instinct clones. The two things that might be considered twists are hardly unexpected. Still, the director’s craftsmanship and the star turn by Mara make for a good first hour or so. After that it devolves into too familiar territory.