The Perfect Match

Burlesque

Directed by Steve Antin.

2010. Rated PG-13, 119 minutes.

Cast:

Cher

Christina Aguilera

Stanley Tucci

Cam Gigandet

Eric Dane

Julianne Hough

Alan Cumming

Peter Gallagher

Kristen Bell

Glynn Turman

Terrence Jenkins

Chelsea Traille

Dainna Agron

Ali (Aguilera) flees her small hometown and dead-end job in search of fame and fortune in the big city. Once there, she stumbles into a burlesque bar owned by Tess (Cher) and just has to find a way to get on that stage. For you young’uns not sure what a burlesque bar is, I’ll (over) simplify. It’s a place where people go to watch women dance and get not quite naked. In this case, Cher has incorporated lip-syncing into all the routines and is pretty strict with the rule that no one sings live, but her. All of this is merely backdrop for the two real issues. The first, of course, is Ali's potential romance with barkeep turned roommate Jack (Gigandet). The other is that the club is going broke. You know how this works. They have x number of days to come up with x amount of money, or else.

It’s interesting that this movie uses lip-syncing as a focal point because it clearly imitates maybe a hundred musicals that came before it. Truth told, there is not one original bone in its body. Burlesque isn't just influenced by the movies of the past, it seems to have ingested them then jammed a finger down its own throat and regurgitated. We can predict the next event with alarming accuracy because we've seen this exact movie at least a few times before.

For the most part, the cast doesn't help. Cher brings the Cher persona and works just fine. Her less experienced co-star is not. Christina Aguilera isn't terrible, just boring. All that she really brings is that big voice to the numbers where she is eventually allowed to sing. Her love interest Cam Gigandet, as well as her fellow dancing girls (Kristen Bell and Julianne Hough among them) are all similarly vanilla, but don’t have any musical moments to elevate him. The one saving grace in this crowd is the remarkable Stanley Tucci. He continues to validate my belief that he’s one of the finest character actors of our time with another wonderful turn.

The scenes where girls are cavorting about on stage are truly the lifeblood of Burlesque. These, plus two other show-stopping moments make a valiant effort to save the film: the first time our heroine gets to sing and the powerful ballad Cher gets to belt out near the end. Unfortunately, they only prove to be brief reprieves from the movie trudging from one well-worn plot point to the next.

MY SCORE: 4.5/10

Sparkle (2012)

Directed by Salim Akil.

2012. Rated PG-13, 116 minutes.

Cast:

Jordin Sparks

Whitney Houston

Carmen Ejogo

Derek Luke

Mike Epps

Tamela Mann

Tika Sumpter

Omari Hardwick

Brely Evans

Michael Beach

Cee Lo Green

Terrence J

Sparkle (Sparks) is a songwriter with stage fright. Since she still wants her music to be heard, she recruits her oldest and most brazen sister named Sister (Ejogo), no less, to take a bus across town and sing her songs at a nightclub. Eventually, the girls meet up with Stix (Luke), a budding promoter. With dreams of making them into the next Supremes, by the way this is 1968, he recruits their middle sister Delores and transforms the trio into a girl group. He then begins getting them work all over Detroit in hopes of making it big. Even though the girls are grown, Sparkle is the youngest at 19, all of this requires repeatedly sneaking out the house of their tyrannical mother Emma played by Whitney Houston in her final feature film before her death in February of this year. Yes, this is a remake of the 1976 ‘hood classic.

If the title leads you to believe this movie is about Sparkle, you’re only partially right. We don’t focus on her until the final act. Honestly, the original did the same so that, in and of itself, isn’t a major complaint. The difference is the girl’s relationship with their mother takes center stage in this version while it was only occasionally touched upon in its predecessor. This moves our title character down to third on the totem pole. It’s probably just as well. Jordin Sparks isn’t a very good actress so lightening her load makes some sense.

In the older movie, the mother is a supportive sideline player. Here, she’s the complete opposite. To make sure we know who’s in charge, Whitney Houston is in full blown, stark raving mad lunatic warden mode. You get the feeling the girls have to ask permission to use the restroom or risk her wrath. She embodies the role well. Sadly, it’s a role that feels specifically written for her. Emma is a woman who has battled drug addiction along with the ups and downs of the music business and now wants to protect her daughters from suffering the same fate, or worse. As she continually rages, it’s difficult to watch her, listen to the sounds come from her obviously shredded voice box and not think of her tumultuous real life and the once flawless pipes with which she serenaded us all. It’s distracting and depressing which makes it a morbidly effective portrayal.

Also of more importance than Sparkle is Sister. She’s clearly the most like her mother. Indeed, much of the film’s fireworks are made up of shouting matches between the two. In the role, Carmen Ejogo gives a powerhouse portrayal rivaling Lonette McKee’s in the same role in the original. Sister’s story also contains another excellent performance, albeit from a surprising source. As comedian Satin Struthers, the movie’s lone unrepentant villain, Mike Epps turns in what is easily his best work. Though playing a comic, which is how he started in his real career, he really does bring this character to life and not just rehash the old Mike Epps schtick.

People who love this movie, and there will be plenty, will do so on the strengths of the aforementioned performances, the music and prerequisite ups and downs of high octane melodrama. However, there are serious problems. Beginning with the second act, the movie shifts into overdrive, propelling itself forward at breakneck speed. The various strands resolve themselves suddenly and/or predictably, leaving plot holes in their wake. In this regard, it pretty clearly follows the Tyler Perry template of filmmaking: scream, bicker, fuss and fight until an instant moment of clarity, kiss, make up.

In comparison with the original, Sparkle also suffers mightily in the charm department. That one is flawed, but it has a much more genuine feel. The grit and grime of the Harlem setting infused the characters not only with a sense of urgency about changing their station in life but also a naiveté about the temptations even minor success may bring. It also gives us a sense of danger. The same could’ve been achieved for this movie in Civil Rights-era Detroit. However, we’re given what feels like a glamorized version of the city wherever the girls perform. At their nicely sized suburban home they want for nothing tangible and can retreat from one another in a way the girls in the original could not. There is a real sense of a unit breaking up as the older movie progresses. Here, each of the sisters wears their individuality proudly on their sleeve, weakening both their bond to one another and ours to them. The glossiness of the sets, flossiness of the outfits and four ladies constantly proclaiming “I am woman, hear me roar!” mark this effort as falling off the assembly line of movies aimed at black females over the last decade. Girl power is great and I generally applaud movies for the attitude but it misses the point of its predecessor.

MY SCORE: 5/10

Think Like a Man

Directed by Tim Story.

2012. Rated PG-13, 122 minutes.
Cast:
Taraji P. Henson
Gabrielle Union

Kevin Hart
Meagan Good

Regina Hall
Michael Ealy
Jerry Ferrara
Romany Malco
Terrence J
Gary Owen
La La Anthony
Chris Brown
Arielle Kebbel
Morris Chestnut

The battle of the sexes rages on. Think Like a Man takes the phrase quite literally. It’s based on the relationship advice book for women Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by famed comedian and “Family Feud” host Steve Harvey. It never lets you forget this fun fact. More on that later. The movie focuses on a group of young men and women at various stages of their love lives. The guys are a tight knit bunch who discuss their successes and failures with women over many games of basketball. Rest assured, there is far more chit-chat than basketball. Afterwards, they continue their conversation at their favorite bar. The women are broken into three sets of two. One woman from two of those sets and one of the guys is totally irrelevant. The ladies that matter see Steve Harvey dropping pearls of wisdom during a television interview and decide to go out and purchase his book. It must be a real page turner because it seems they all have it read moments after coming into its possession. Armed with the knowledge Mr. Harvey has imparted upon them, they wage war on the men in their lives in hopes of straightening them up. Of course, all of their guys belong to that tight knit group. Keep up.

There are a good deal of laughs to be had. Almost all of them come courtesy of Cedric (Hart). Ironically, he’s one of the least relevant male characters as it pertains to plot. However, he has to be here because he provides the overwhelming majority of the comedy in this romantic comedy. His character is nearing the finalization of his divorce. He bad mouths his ex, hangs out at strip clubs and warns his buddies about dealing with their woman. He also serves as one of the narrators. In this role, he provides a running commentary on all the goings-on.

Everyone else handles the romance. The girls quote passages from the book, plot and make their next move. The boys are caught off guard and react poorly to what the ladies are doing. Eventually they discover the book for themselves and form their own strategies. Most of this unfolds in an enjoyable, if predictable manner. Like most rom-coms it has an air of inevitability about it because we know that no matter how contentious things get all of our princes and princesses will live happily ever after. It’s when the movie transitions from warfare to reconciliation that it drags badly. This is mostly due to the large number of storylines to be wrapped up. After all, we have to see that magic moment when a couple realizes they can’t live without each other play out five times.

The bigger problem with the movie is all the narration. Kevin Hart is only one of the people fulfilling the role of narrator. Steve Harvey himself serves as the second. He pops up every so often on a TV screen to quote his own work and set us up for the next scene. The effect is two-fold. First, it becomes a film that doesn’t trust its audience to follow the action on its own. Viewers are spoon-fed everything the film wants us to know from beginning to end. Second, it begins to feel like a long commercial for the book. Honestly, it gets more screen time than most of the actors and never more than a few moments pass before someone explicitly mentions it.

Beneath the issues, there is a fun but predictable movie. It never really threatens to be anything more. However, it is also nothing less. It earns extra-credit from me for a couple of jokes at Tyler Perry’s expense even though several of the performers here have appeared at least one of that director's films. TLaM is one of the increasingly rare movies to feature a predominantly black cast and not have his name attached. As such, it offers a different perspective on black life and a different style of storytelling. It’s no more or less valid than Perry’s work but a desperately needed complement. Hopefully, this will inspire Hollywood to widen the spectrum on what types of stories are produced not only about blacks but about other ethnicities, as well. Of course, the danger here is that powers that be will do what they always do and simply start cloning a few successful films. On that, my fingers are crossed but I’m not holding my breath.