Monday, October 27, 2014

Cosmic Horror Cast-a-Thon

My good blogging buddy John over at Hitchcock's World has given his fellow bloggers an important task. We must save the world. To do so, we have to assemble an investigative team stop the Old Ones, or one of them, at least. If you're like me, your first question was 'who are the Old Ones?' In that case, you need to brush up on your H.P. Lovecraft. In lieu of, you know, finding out about them on your own, check out this post on John's site to get the low down on our pending destruction. Hopefully, this will spur you on to create your own team and take down one of these rather unforgiving deities.

There are some rules for putting together a team. As per Mr. Hitchcock, they are as follows:

  1. Choose an Old One you wish to prevent from destroying out world. For those of you not familiar with Lovecraft, I'll provide a list below with some information on each and what little information is known about them.
  2. Select a group of horror movie characters you believe are cut out for the task of fighting the Old Ones. They don't have to actually be from a cosmic horror story, but they should have experience dealing with "horror" in some sense of the word. Because of the unpredictable nature of what we are dealing with, there is no limit on how many characters you can have in your party.
  3. With each character you choose, provide a few words explaining why you chose that character and what you think they can contribute to the investigation.
  4. There are no limits on how many players can go against a specific Old One, but if even one is not pursued by a single player, than you can say goodbye to everything you hold dear.

I will say that for my team, we may be stretching the definition of a horror flick. Sorry, John. Rules were made to be broken. Besides, we're talking about saving our collective asses, here. Now that that's out of the way, let's get don to business.

The Old One We're After:

In John's words:
Ia Shub-Niggurath, the legendary "Black Ram of the Woods" or "Goat with a Thousand Young". Not much is known about her beyond rumors, although there are stories of strange creatures that are said to worship her. Ordinarily she is not someone you want to have anything to do with, nor are any of her thousand young.

Hmmm...our work is cut out for us.

The Team

Executive Officer
Col. Colin Caine
Dealing with the unusual and extremely dangerous is what this guy does. This includes going into the corona of Halley's Comet and finding an alien ship that just happens to contain extraterrestrial vampires. His ability to deal with that makes me confident he can deal with this.

Commanding Officer
Captain Miller
Event Horizon
Captain Miller is definitely a guy who has experience trying to hold his team together in extremely adverse situations. As captain of the Lewis and Clark, he led a rescue mission to recover the Event Horizon. This involves a trip to another dimension, visions of his crew being mutilated and tortured, and sacrificing himself for the good of the mission. My kind of guy.

Chief Investigator
Gerry Lane
World War Z
I would hope that the UN would want to be involved in a mission to save all of humanity. Since I say they will, we're sending in an investigator they might always readily admit works for them. And since this is the guy they called to deal with a global zombie outbreak, I'm willing to give him a shot at tracking down Shub-Niggurath.

Elizabeth Shaw
Shaw is devoutly religious and in search of the beginnings of humanity. However, I think we can pull her away to help save it. After all, there are rumors of underground shrines to Shub-Niggurath and she also has experience dealing with entities that might have lots of offspring and wants to kill us. Speaking of off-spring, she had to give herself a c-section when an alien planted a fetus inside of her. Yeah, she's a survivor.

Egon Spengler
I think a guy specializing in paranormal extermination could certainly be of use. After all, he's saved New York City, and thus, the world, twice from entities beyond the wildest imaginations of most humans. He ain't afraid of no Old One.

Just in case our team somehow gets close enough, but doesn't finish the job the first time, Corazon would be able to help us figure out what we're dealing...if it's something biological at all, that is. It also helps that she's used to doomed missions having been sent to re-ignite the sun. Yeah, she's in.

Rosa Dasque
Europa Report
Someone has to get us there. Why not someone who has shown she can not only fly the vessel, but work on communications, if the need arises, and is willing to go down with the ship? Rosa is willing to do just that for the greater good.


Dutch Schaefer
Who better to deal with this type of threat than Dutch? Let everyone else handle the brainy stuff, this dude's got muscles upon muscles, knows how to handle a guns, and deal with entities that most certainly aren't human.

Resident Evil
Sure, she doesn't have Dutch's brawn, and doesn't have the greatest memory, but she can definitely take out hordes of zombies. That might not take down Shub herself, but it will surely help with her thousand young. We need that kind of help.

Good luck, team.

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  1. Love this post Dell, great read :-)
    - Jenna

  2. Well, it looks like you got your work cut out for you, but if anyone has a shot at all it is probably this group of characters.

    1. Thanks. For our sakes, I hope they cone through.

  3. Some great selections here. Love that you included Egon. He was always my favorite Ghostbuster, and as you said, he's dealt with ancient evil before. He'd be a great pick. I picked Shaw too! Her toughness can not be denied that is for sure. And nice pick of Miller from "Even Horizon". Revisted that film a couple weeks ago and I forgot how awesome he was. This team will certainly give Shub Niggurath a run for her money.

    1. Thanks. Shaw is a great character. I almost had to pick her.

  4. This is a fun post. :-) You have a bad-ass line-up here.

  5. That is a badass team. Ghosts better bring in a large army and some body bags because if they come across these peeps.... THEY'RE FUCKED!!!!