Yes, It's Thursday. It's also February. What that means is that our host for Thursday Movie Picks, the illustrious Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves, has given us Valentine's related themes all month long. Today, we're talking May-December Romance. Yup, creepy old people trying to get into the pants of some young thing. If you know me by now, you know that I try to put my own twist on all these TMP topics. This week, we're going theme within a theme within a theme (within a theme?). All three of these films helped launch these starlets into mature roles.They all play young women in situations that didn't turn out quite as romantic as they hoped. Those other themes? I think you'll figure them out,
May - Ivy (Drew Barrymore)
December - Darrel (Tom Skerritt)Ivy is a high school girl and a wild child who so happens to meet up with Sylvie (Sara Gilbert). She wants to have a stable home like Sylvie. Ya know, house, mom and dad happily married, white picket fence...shit like that. She sets out to get just that and starts by seducing Sylvie's dad Darrel. When things don't go quite the way she wants...yup, psycho mode. We're talking Fatal Attraction for the teeny-bopper set. This is pure guilty pleasure stuff. It's so bad it's awesome. It's so awesome it gave us...
Poison Ivy II: Lily
May - Lily (Alyssa Milano)
December - Donald (Xander Berkeley)You ever see one of those sequels where the connection to the original is so weak it has to be shoe-horned in for no reason other than maintaining name recognition? This is one of those. It's about an art student named Lily. She's a rather unassuming type. That changes once she stumbles upon a box of stuff that belonged to the titular Ivy. By "stuff," I mean nude pics and Ivy's diary. Apparently, Ivy wrote some brilliant stuff in that diary because Lily decides to model herself after Ivy. First she goes all single white female and tries to look like Ivy. Second, she sinks her hooks into Donald, her art teacher. Sorta. It's complicated. It's also so bad it's awesome. It's so awesome it gave us...
Poison Ivy: The New Seduction
May - Violet (Jaime Pressly)
December - Ivan (Michael Des Barres)Continuing that fine series tradition of only incidentally being linked to the first movie, this installment focuses on Ivy's little sister Violet. We start by showing Violet and Ivy when they are 8 and 9 years old, respectively, and living with Ivan, his wife Catherine (Merete Van Kamp), and their daughter Joy who is 9. Some things happen, Violet goes away and resurfaces twelve years later after Catherine has died. A whole lot of stuff happens and then she tries getting with Ivan. By "a whole lot of stuff" I mean she sleeps with and/or kills everyone, more or less. The bottom line is while Ivy and Lily were both certifiably insane, Violet makes them look like nuns. This installment is bananas...no, it's so bad it's awesome. It's so awesome it gave us...
Poison Ivy: The Secret Society
May - Daisy (Miriam McDonald)
December - Andrew (Greg Evigan)I dunno. It's a damn Lifetime movie, so needless to say, I didn't watch this shit. I mean, I do have standards, ya know.