When I first set foot on a college campus, as a student, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I had an idea, or at least I thought I did. I went to a historically black college, henceforth known as an HBCU and was an avid viewer of the TV series A Different World which is set at one such school (the fictional Hillman University). Needless to say, real college was almost nothing like A Different World. A little while later, I started dating the soon-to-be Mrs. Dell who went to another HBCU. When I started hanging around that campus, I saw that it was completely different from the school I attended. On either campus, there were some scary times. Yup, that's your hint for what's coming.
What's coming is another edition of Thursday Movie Picks hosted by Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves. The topic this week: College Movies, duh. It's a great topic. Cinematic history is filled with thoughtful examinations of young men and women in pursuit of a higher education. Of course, I won't be discussing any of them. That's what your blog is for. My blog? Well, not so much. I tend to use this space for films with slightly less lofty ambitions. So, take a look at the countdown at the top of this page. I've got 31 Days of Horror coming up. If I learned anything from the most recent Olympics, you have to warm up before starting a major activity. Consider this the blogging version of stretching before a race.
(1983)A killer is loose on campus! Some guy...or gal...is running around with a chainsaw and chopping up co-eds into, say the title with me, pieces. Aside from gore and gratuitous nudity, this movie does nothing well. For starters, whoever wrote this has no clue how police investigations work. I mean that quite literally. The undercover cop sent in to work the case is also a well-known pro-tennis champ. So yeah, imagine Serena Williams just showing up to track down a killer. After one of the kills, the still bloody murder weapon is left at the scene and it never occurs to anyone to get prints off the damn thing. However, the movie does end with possibly the most iconic moment in slasher flick history. All in all, it's so bad it's awesome!
(1984)A killer is loose on campus! Some guy...or gal...is running around with a really long knife, stabbing the crap out of co-eds and making their blood, say it with me, splatter. This movie doesn't do gore or nudity well. A bunch of dummies take the blade to the gut while fake blood gushes all over the place while no one gets naked. The writer(s) here have apparently never been to college. The entire thing is written as if it were set at a high school, not an institution of higher learning. That's only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how poorly the writers did their jobs. Luckily, the unintentional humor factor is sky high rendering the entire thing so bad it's awesome!
Sorority House Massacre
Sorority House Massacre II
(1990)A killer is loose on campus! Some guy...or gal...is running around with a hunting knife, stabbing the crap out of co-eds and committing a massacre! Twice! Okay, so this series does gore pretty well. It also does gratuitous nudity, the second one is particularly good at that. Other than that, it's pretty standard zero budget slasher fare. The first just rips off John Carpenter's Halloween, wholesale while the second puts their girls in a sorority house they just bought for cheap because there were a bunch of murders there the year before. Naturally, they're staying the first night despite not having any electricity. So yeah, time to all take turns in the shower then pull out the ouija board. Um...yeah, great idea. You know what, I'll just end this by saying the producer of both these flicks is none other than Roger Corman. Knowing that, it should go without saying they're both so bad they're awesome!