Thursday Movie Picks: Creature/Monster Features

I can probably say this about every one of them this month, but this week's topic for Thursday Movie Picks is right up my alley. It's all about creature features and/or monster movies, if you will. All I needed was a bit of clarification on what qualifies. It's pretty simple, by creatures our host, Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves, actually means creatures. So, no, aliens, vampires, zombies, and werewolves are strictly prohibited. I could argue to let that last group in, but we already had a week where we just did werewolf flicks, so I won't. What does Wanderer use as an example of a creature or monster? She uses Cujo, the titular dog from one of the most famous Stephen King adaptations.

Okay, cool.

I could pick Cujo, but I won't.

Yes, a dog did find its way into this post. Let's proceed.

Kingdom of the Spiders

(1977)

What do you do when your cattle starts dying off? You call up the local vet, of course. Even so, you might have some trepidation about the situation. I mean, there's only so much the vet can do, right? Well, you can put some of those fears to rest when that vet is Captain James T. Kirk...er...William Shatner. Anyhoo, he's not quite sure what's going on so he calls in some help from the local university. They send a sexy lady professor who figures out we have an infestation of killer spiders on our hands. Before you know it, these things are everywhere, killing up everything. They even take down a plane. Yup. No worries, Cpt. Kirk still finds plenty of time to put the moves on the lady who is there to help him. That's my boy. (Click here for my full review)

Man's Best Friend

(1993)

You know the story. A boy finds a stray dog, takes him home, and if he can keep it. Mom says yes, they all live happily ever after. Hold on. There are a lot of steps between point A and point B. For starters, the dog, Max, is a runaway from a genetic research lab. Basically, he's a suped up, bionic canine who proves rather adept at killing people. And he swallows cats whole. Yup, you read that right. Lance Henriksen and Ally Sheedy show up to trick us into thinking this might actually be good. And it is...in the worst possible way.

Big Ass Spider!

(2013)

You know a spider is the real deal when the U.S. Army is actively looking for it. That's the case, here as our titular creature starts off like a regular arachnid. That's bad enough, just ask William Shatner. Things get progressively worse as it steadily increases. Before you know it, calling it a big ass spider is akin to saying Usain Bolt runs pretty well. It kills up a bunch of people while a bunch of people, our hero included, try to kill it. I don't know if that fits your idea of fun, but it does mine. (Click here for my full review.)

Bonus Pick:

Creepshow

(1982)

The entire movie is not a creature feature so I didn't put it in as a regular pick, but I just couldn't leave it out as two of its five segments most certainly are. The first of them, "The Crate," is about a strange, murderous beast that is in a crate at a local college. Idiots foolishly open it. Idiots get dead. It's a solid segment, but not the one that gets it here. That would be the film's final segment, "They're Creeping Up On You." It features E. G. Marshall as a guy who has taken some extreme measures to keep his house roach free. Not only is it not working, by the end there are literally roaches popping out from everywhere. Yuk!

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