Thursday, January 24, 2019

Thursday Movie Picks - Movies You Walked Out Of


So you're sitting in a movie theater, in the perfect seats, you were expecting a pretty good time, and the film unspooling before your eyes is pure trash. It's not enjoyable trash, either. It's that unbearable trash that doesn't know that it's trash, and is void of any laughter - intentional or not. You now have a decision to make. Do you tough it out? I mean, you paid for it, might as well finish it. Or, do you say, "Screw it," to yourself, "Excuse me," to at least half a dozen people as you try to get from your glorious seat in the middle to the aisle, and stomp down the stairs, munching, and dropping popcorn on your way to the exit while muttering to yourself about how cinema has gone to hell.

Our fearless leader, Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves wants you to tap into that feeling for this week's topic for Thursday Movie Picks, movies you walked out of. Personally, I've never actually walked out of a movie. I've been close a few times, threatened to a bunch of times, but I always decided that if I spent my money to see a movie, then dammit, I'm going to see a movie. I will, however, I found a way to be involved. Let's see how.


Executive Decision
(1996)
My sister-in-law and her late husband (RIP) were the biggest Steven Seagal fans on planet Earth. I don't say this likely. Years after his hey-day, they were still buying all of his straight-to-DVD garbage and making us watch it at family gatherings. Way back in 1996, when Seagal was actually a big deal, he showed up in the trailer for this movie. Excitedly, they went to see it, expecting big things from their boy. I mean, they would never pass up the opportunity to see him kick ass. As if it were a bonus, Kurt Russell and Halle Berry were also in this. Sis-in-law and hubby get to the theater, (spoiler alert) Seagal dies 20 minutes in, they're so simultaneously stunned and pissed off, they walk out in the next five minutes. They flat out refused to ever finish watching this movie. And I'm not even joking.


V for Vendetta
(2005)
This time, my brother was the guilty party. He and his then wife showed up to the theater expecting a pretty straight-forward superhero flick. If you've seen it, you know it isn't that. It's steeped in politics and dialogue, and takes its time creating its world, and building toward its climax. It's a film for the patient, of which he is not. He likes the ass-kickings in his movies to come early and often. Early on, V our hero who really is a supporting character, spouts off his most memorable lines, beginning with, "Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate." He goes on for quite a bit with a veritable volley of vivid vocabulary words vaulting from his vocal chords landing with velvety smoothness upon the ear. This put my brother on high alert. A few more minutes went by without things becoming more to his liking so, yeah, he and his wife bounced.


Sorry to Bother You
(2018)
This is undeniably, one of the weirdest movies I've ever experienced on the big screen. I loved it since that very first viewing, but I was kind of on island among my fellow movie-goers. It was one of those after 10 PM showings after it had been out a few weeks so the theater wasn't that full. There may have been 15, 20 people, tops, including myself and my daughter. If you've seen it, or read my review, you know there's a pretty specific occurrence that lets you know that now is the time to decide whether or not you're going to continue with this movie and how you'll feel about it. Though it's a comedy, it's quite heady, and at times even, heavy. There wasn't much laughter going on, and most of it was done by me, all by my lonesome. So it was no surprise when, precisely at that point, several couples got up and left. As good as I think this movie is, it wasn't at all what they signed up for. (Full Review)



38 comments:

  1. Wow, your sister-in-law and late husband were fans of that fat, traitorous bitch? To me, seeing him killed after 30 minutes is a good thing. Sorry you had to experience those walk outs from the people in your family and those who did walk out. I saw people walked out of movies I enjoyed. I find it unprofessional although from the list I'm about to unveil. I'm guilty of walking out yet I had some big reasons why.

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    1. Oh, one question I need to add. Do they have the.... infamous episode of Saturday Night Live that he hosted? I heard it was.... one of the worst episodes ever!!!!

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    2. Back then, not sure any of us knew anything about him personally. They just loved every movie he put out. I have to be clear about one thing, though. I was not with them when they walked out of this movie. It was just the two of them. They told me this story several years after the fact.

      Don't think my sister-in-law has the SNL ep.

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  2. I can't wait for Australia Day this Saturday 🇦🇺

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  3. Love these little anecdotes! I saw Sorry to Bother You as part of a Secret Screening at my local cinema and we had a lot of walk outs. It's always amusing to see what part of a movie it is that makes someone think 'Nope!'.

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  4. Oh...Stephen seagull really is crap even though he knows how to fight. I actually expect him to be in an episode of Coos since he became one. I have seen the one where he died and was happy that happened. V for Vendetta is ok but I don’t think I will see it again. I haven’t seen the last movie. I really screwed up last week for sure.. I talk about last week’s theme this week.

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    1. If I remember correctly, he did his own reality show about his exploits as a cop. No way I was watching that so I couldn't tell you anything about it.

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  5. Those people in STBY had less movie left by that point than they already sat through lol. Though I get it. I like your take on this with telling other people's stories. I probably should've suggested "movies you SHOULD have walked out of"

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    1. Yeah, I got the feeling they were trying to give the movie a chance to make sense to them, then when that happened, they were like, "I tried, but no."

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  6. I have never walked out on a movie, not ever been to a movie with someone who has walked out. I did ask for my money back once, but that was as close as I got.

    I can TOTALLY see people walking out of V for Vendetta and Sorry To Bother You, since they are kind of crazy movies.

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    1. So far, I haven't had to ask for my money back, either. Lucky, I guess.

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  7. Our movies have only been for walking out of after the post credit scenes for 11 years.

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  8. Haha. I like what you did with the Vs. Only seen V for Vendetta. Don't think I've ever seen a Steven Seagal film....

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  9. Oh geez Executive Decision! I haven't thought about that piece of crap since I made the mistake of going to see it in the theatre! I really thought it looked like it would fall right into one of my sweet spots, being a disaster movie reminiscent of Airport, or so the advertising made it seem. Wrong! It was just stupid and while I expected Seagal to be bad I thought Halle Berry was worse if possible. Her performance made me think of a critic's quote I read about Ann-Margret's early career "Before she proved she could act in Carnal Knowledge she proved that she couldn't in Kitten With a Whip!" True words! Though outside of Introducing Dorothy Dandridge Halle's never shown me she has much too offer.

    I didn't care much for V for Vendetta but I stuck with it to the end. Haven't seen your last.

    I've never walked out of a movie either so I'm sitting out the week. My escape is to fall asleep if it's something dreadful, which are invariably movies I've gone to with someone else which is why I can't just go. The ones I remember that happening-The Matrix, the original Ghostbusters, The Man with One Red Shoe (ssssoooo bad) and The Usual Suspects.

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    1. The Matrix? Ghostbusters? The Usual Suspects? This makes me sad.

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    2. I know they are beloved by most but I couldn't abide any of them.

      I was really surprised about The Usual Suspects since I love most all noir but so it goes.

      I really tried with Ghostbusters, I fell asleep within the first hour but I had gone directly from a hard day at work and thought that was the reason since everybody else just rhapsodized about how great it was. So I went again and the same thing happened! So it just wasn't for me.

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    3. The Man With The One Red Shoe is a legit bad film. I can empathise.

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    4. That reminds me, I still need to see The Man with One Red Shoe.

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  10. In the late 1980s and early 1990s, I had a friend who walked out of the movies quite a bit! And since he had a car and was usually my ride, I either walked out with him or took the bus home. So I usually walked out with him. The movies I walked out of under these circumstances: Working Girl, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, In a Glass Cage. (I didn't mind walking out of Working Girl. We were way across town to see Munchausen or I wouldn't have walked out. I love Munchausen! I've seen it several times since then. In a Glass Cage was hard to take. I didn't really want to walk out but I've never had any desire to see what I missed.)

    The only movie I ever walked out on when on my own was Rhapsody in August. Kurosawa is my favorite filmmaker. I saw Rhapsody in August in the afternoon before going to work. I didn't like it. I got very restless. The ending went on and on and I was so over it and also worried I was going to muss my bus that I just walked out to get my bus. I couldn't have missed more than five minutes of the film.

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    1. Hope I don't offend, but your friend sounds like a dick. He could have at least asked if you wanted to finish those movies.

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    2. Well, he had a very mean sense of humor and could be very interesting most of the time. I've been friends with some truly awful people through the years. That's why I like "You're the Worst" so much. It reminds me of my witty interesting friends who are actually pretty awful.

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    3. A mean sense of humor, indeed. Hopefully, you've got some better folks around you these days.

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  11. I've never walked out of a movie at the cinema. I came close with that hideous Theron/Depp Astronaut's Wife one back in the day but if I've paid to see a movie at the cinemas then I'm hate-watching it at the VERY least.

    I've switched off plenty of films at home before they're done: My Blueberry Nights, any film by James Grey (ugh, so boring) and my wife was fighting me to switch off Sorry To Bother You (she thought it was awful...) but I had hold of the remote.

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  12. The biggest one I can think of is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. So many. I think people thought it was a romantic comedy.

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  13. And it can be pretty confusing. I get it.

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  14. Have you met Shirley Shawn the Unicorn yet Wendell? She'll be joining us on the Wiggle Fun Tour.

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  15. I skipped this theme because I've never walked out of a movie. I like how you still found a way to partecipate.

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  16. Good story about the Seagal walk out. I once witnessed a group of people walk out of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me after just 5-10 minutes. Talk about a waste of money on tickets. To be fair, wasn't the greatest movie.

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  17. Great post! I've never walked out of a movie either, but have come close a few times. (I believe the last one I seriously considered bouncing on was Tom Hooper's Les Misérables.) I LOVED that Executive Decision story. "We're not gonna make it!" "You are!" (Exits theater.)

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