Ong-Bak

Directed by Prachya Pinkaew.

2003. Rated R, 105 minutes.
Cast:
Tony Jaa
Petchtai Wongkamlao
Pumwaree Yodkamol
Suchao Pongwilai
Chumphorn Thepphithak
Cheathavuth Watcharakhun
Wannakit Sirioput

A country boy goes to the big city and kicks a whole lotta ass. By the way, I mean that literally. He doesn’t often kick, like with his foot or punch, like with his hand. He’s hitting guys with elbows, knees, even his entire torso. By guys, I mean lots of guys. Make that lots and lots of guys. There’s so many guys that he has to escape from time to time to catch his breath. By escape, I mean flipping over guys, walking on their heads, climbing a will and hopping a fence without using his hands, etc. Then he gets back to kickin’ ass. When it’s all over I’ve lost track of just how many asses he’s kicked. Yes, I mean that literally.

Um, plot? There is one, I guess. Our hero’s name is Ting (Jaa). He’s from a small village where they worship a Buddha-like figure called Ong-Bak. Heeeyyyyy, I wonder if that’s where they got the idea for the title. Duh. Anyhoo, Ong-Bak is symbolized by a statue they keep in their sanctuary. One of the young guys who left the village, moved to the big city and became a hoodlum steals the statue’s head in hopes of selling it for big bucks. Besides this, two things let us know there’s going to be a lof of fightin’. First, Ting volunteers to bring back Ong-Bak, by himself of course. More importantly, Ting’s master tells him that even though he taught him everything there is to know about Muay Thai, he doesn’t want him to ever use it. Hot diggity dang! As soon as I heard that I knew it was on. I hit pause, went and popped some popcorn, poured myself a tall glass of the beverage of my choice and spilled it all over the place as I ran back to the couch, picked up the remote and pressed play.

I’ve already spent too much time on the plot. Truthfully, the movie does this also. We mosey along at a pace that’s a little too slow as we’re introduced to new characters and the dynamics between them are set up. None of them warrants any mention as particularly interesting. What is interesting is when we get beyond all that and our hero gets down to business. Once he gets going, Ong-Bak becomes a special movie. Tony Jaa makes it so. The things he does are simply amazing. And yes, these are all organic stunts performed by Mr. Jaa himself. By organic I mean it really is all him, no cgi and no wires. It’s a stunning display of athleticism reminiscent of a young Jackie Chan, but without the comedic overtones.

For fans of martial arts flicks, this is a must-see. It’s more than worth the time it takes to wade through the less than thrilling first act to get to the non-stop fighting portion of the movie. Don’t come into this with any notions of a well-crafted scripted, character development, good acting or any other high saditty ideas. This is all about high-flyin’, bone-crunchin’ action. It’s all about amazing feats of human physicality. It’s all about a country boy going to the big city and kickin’ a whole lotta ass. Literally.

MY SCORE: 6/10

MARTIAL ARTS MOVIE SCORE: 9/10

Willard

Directed by Glen Morgan.
2003. Rated PG-13, 100 minutes.
Cast:
Crispin Glover
R. Lee Ermey
Laura Harring
Jackie Burroughs
Laura Harring

Loner and incompetent worker Willared (Glover) befriends the pack of rats that have congregated in his basement and trains them to do his dirty deeds. Remake of the 1971 film starring Ernest Borgnine which I haven't seen, yet. Crispin Glover is absolutely perfect in the title role. In fact, he might be too perfect as his career hasn't exactly taken off since this came out. It's a delightfully odd movie that has many of the elements of a horror movie but really isn't one. That is, unless you're one of those people who completely freak out at the sight of rats. It's more of a bazaar revenge flick. The way the rodents, in particular Ben and Socrates, are portrayed is outstanding. The audience is never really sure either of them are capable of the things Willard thinks they are but we can't rule out the possibility. As a result, we can simultaneously pity Willard for losing his mind and disdain him for the heinous things he has the rats do. It's one of the stranger movies I've seen, but it's deftly directed and maintains enough camp to keep things just off-kilter.

MY SCORE: 7.5/10

The Mother

Directed by Roger Michell.
2003. Rated R, 112 minutes.
Cast:
Anne Reid
Daniel Craig
Cathryn Bradshaw
Steven Mackintosh
Peter Vaughan
Ann Wilson-Jones
Danira Govich

After her husband passes away, May (Reid) has an affair her daughter's lover Darren, played by a pre-007 Daniel Craig. By the way, Darren is actually married to another woman altogether. It's an interesting drama that wisely uses an older woman that's not extremely, rich, powerful or glamorous giving it an air of realness. She's also not a trailer-park caricature which keeps it from becoming a Jerry Springer inspired comedy. If you're looking for a drama that's a little bit but not overly melodramatic, and can handle James Bond getting it on with grandma, give it a shot. Warning: the ending is a bit of a downer. Warning #2: This is absolutely, positively a chick flick. Finally, the biggest warning of all, don't watch it with your mother or grandmother. The queasiness factor will likely be amped to the max, if you did. Still, it's nothing like most of the American movies aimed at the fairer sex.


MY SCORE: 7/10