Aftershock

Directed by Nicolás López.

2013. Rated R, 89 minutes.

Cast:

Eli Roth

Ariel Levy

Nicolás Martínez

Andrea Osvárt

Natasha Yarovenko

Lorenza Izzo

Ramón Llao

Matías López

Álvaro López Álvarez

Selena Gomez

Gringo (Roth) is an American in Chile partying it up with Ariel (Levy) and Pollo (Martínez). He is the divorced father of a little girl he talks about often and for whom he drops everything to take her phone call. That includes when dad is in a loud bar trying to get a little nookie. And yes, it is all sorts of creepy watching middle-aged Roth hit on the barely legal Selena Gomez, making a cameo appearance. Thankfully, she turns him down and he turns his attentions to one of the three girls he and his buddies pal around for a few days.

Okay, sorry. I’ve just wasted an entire paragraph because none of this actually matters. The movie wastes your time with this as well as this portion of it goes on forever. The only thing that matters is that while Gringo, his buddies and the girls they are hanging with are at a nightclub an earthquake strikes and does enough damage to kill most of the people there. Plenty of folks outside die, as well. The whole city is a madhouse as everyone is trying to get somewhere safe. This includes our heroes who mostly survive the club. However, Ariel did lose a hand trying to help a bartender. Well, he didn’t actually lose it. They are carrying it around in hopes of getting him to a hospital so it can be reattached. The mass panic worsens when the sound of sirens is heard in the streets, a warning to everyone there might be a tsunami on the way. As if all of this weren’t bad enough, the crew is also running from a murderous gang of rapists they happen to cross paths with. Sounds like fun.

Unfortunately, Aftershock is not nearly as fun as it could ge. For starters, it takes way too long to get to the good stuff. We spend the first act getting to know these people in an obvious and ridiculously drawn out attempt at character development. Ordinarily, I’m all for movies trying to make me care about the people on the screen. Here, it completely backfires. First off, the acting is all sorts of horrible. Second, it probably wouldn’t matter if they were all brilliant performers because almost all of them are unlikeable. Even worse, their sexual misadventures are just plain boring. It feels like an infinitely extended version to the dreadful opening of the otherwise solid Cloverfield.

Finally, the tone never feels quite right. Much of the time it is stone-face serious. However, we get the sense that this material would benefit from a more tongue in cheek approach. On those rare occasions it displays a twisted sense of humor, the movie shines. For instance, the scene of Ariel trying to recover his severed hand as it is being trampled and kicked about the floor by stampeding party-goers is downright brilliant. Had the entire movie been made that way, we might have a cult classic on our hands. Instead, the gore piles up, women are brutalized just because, anyone who gets in the way of this is murdered, and it all ends on a disheartening note. None of this is done with even a hint of the fun had during the hand scene. It’s all just a misogynistic and nihilistic fantasy that makes a dated referendum on people with tattoos.

MY SCORE: 2/10

The Conjuring

Directed by James Wan.

2013. Rated R, 112 minutes.

Cast:

Vera Farmiga

Patrick Wilson

Ron Livingston

Lili Taylor

Shanley Caswell

Hayley McFarland

Joey King

Mackenzie Foy

Kyla Deaver

Shannon Kook

It’s 1971 and the Perron family, Carolyn (Taylor), Roger (Livingston), and their five daughters, moves into their new house which is certainly a fixer-upper. Shortly thereafter they discover a basement that was completely boarded up and add that to the to-do-list. Of course, things start going bump in the night and scaring the bejeezus out of everyone in the house. When things get to be too much Carolyn seeks out the help of renowned demonologists Ed (Wilson) and Lorraine (Farmiga) Warren. More strange stuff ensues. All of this is kinda-sorta supposedly allegedly maybe based on a true story.

What The Conjuring does best is simply be what it is, an old fashioned haunted house flick. In spite of this, the movie succeeds. Somehow, instead of being a lame, by-the-numbers affair, it milks the formula for all its worth. It is, at once, a call back to an era gone by and a breath of fresh air. The tension builds steadily until the whole situation erupts in the final act. While we wait to get to that point we settle into the sweet spot of having a good idea how things are going to happen but still being glued to the screen to watch it play out.

Almost everyone on the screen feels like a stock character. This is a bit of a drawback, but everyone plays their roles so well it hardly matters. The ladies stand tall in this crowd, starting with Lili Taylor as mom Carolyn. She is the vessel through which we experience the movie. She gives a superb performance displaying a woman whose mental state is steadily decaying as the inexplicable keeps happening around her. As someone who has already gone through some odd things in her life, Vera Farmiga is nearly as good. By the way, Farmiga’s character Lorraine and her husband Ed are indeed based on the real-life couple of the same name and job description. In fact, they were the first paranormal investigators on the scene of the infamous Amityville Horror. Perhaps not so coincidentally, this movie bears a healthy resemblance to that genre giant.

As good as the acting is, for me, the key lies in our ghosts. There is a sense that something bad could happen to these people at any moment. They feel like a real threat. This is completely opposite of director James Wan’s other haunted house flick, Insidious. In that movie, the haunters come off as benign. They never seem like they’re really out to get the family in the house. They show up, mug for the camera and disappear. Here, they add a much more real sense of danger, making this a much more interesting ride. Where Insidious is overwrought and plodding, this one snaps, crackles, and pops.

MY SCORE: 7.5/10

The Slasher Cast-a-Thon

Every October, I go wall to wall horror. Thirty-one days in a row, no days off. This year, I want you to be able to join in on the fun. Yup, that means it's a horror themed blogathon. And since slasher flicks are a guilty pleasure of mine, let's use those for our template.

You know how they work.

A nearly indestructible boogey man stalks and butchers a group of people one by one until he himself is killed by that one (virginal) girl who has managed to survive until the end of the movie. That is exactly how this is going to work. So, if you'd like to participate keep reading. I'm about to explain the rules of this little game.

1. Our slasher is already cast for us. He is the most evil, sadistic, brutal person you could possibly imagine. Let's just leave it at that.

2. Pick anywhere from 6 to 12 movie characters whom you would like to see murdered for one reason, or another. Maybe it was that annoying sidekick in a comedy, or the person who lost the wedding ring in your favorite rom-com. For each person you pick, explain why you'd like to see them killed. However, there are some caveats.

A. The character cannot be from a horror movie.

B. The character must NOT have died in whatever movie they were in.

C. The character cannot be the main antagonist (villain) of their movie. That would be too easy, we're supposed to hate them.

3. Pick one movie character as your "Final Girl," or the person who will survive and slay our slasher. Though I would prefer it to be a female, in keeping with genre norms, it doesn't necessarily have to be. In any event, explain why you chose this person. Tell us what makes them survivor material. There are some restrictions on this person, as well.

A. The character cannot be from a horror movie.

B. The character must NOT have or be implied to have sex during their movie. (Remember that stuff about the virginal heroine, right?)

C. The character cannot have killed or implied to have killed someone during her movie.

4. Include a link to this post.

Due to my presumed difficulty of rule 3-B, and the fact that I'd like to stretch this out throughout the month, let's set the deadline for October 30, 2014. On Halloween, October 31, 2014 I'll create a post with links to all the entries and update it as needed. To get included, leave a link to your post below in the comments section.

There are some lovely banners in this post for you to choose from for your entries. Now go set some people up to be slashed.

Click here for all of my Blogathon related posts!

Back to School Blogathon Addendum: Scary School

Last month I hosted the Back to School Blogathon. Bloggers were invited to create a class using certain well-worn archetypes. I posted two classes of my very own. One here, one there. I'm not re-opening it, but it's not quite out of my blood yet. Therefore, I've got one more class to share. This one is made up entirely of characters from horror movies. Here we go:

Principal:

Principal Himbry

Scream

(1996)

For all of his tough talk, he's really a guy that just doesn't get it. Well, actually he does "get it." Get it?

Teacher

Ms. Collins

Carrie

(1976)

We've got to have at least one kind, caring, and compassionate person in this mix. There's not a better choice than Ms. Collins. These qualities don't really help her in the end, but still.

Star Student

Nancy Thompson

A Nightmare on Elm Street

(1984)

Is there anyone who is a better student than Nancy? The girl would rather study all night, every night than sleep. Of course, that might have something to do with a certain ex-janitor, but whatever. To prove her academic worth. in the classroom, she shows up in a sequel after having become a doctor.

Nerd

Herbert West

Re-Animator

(1985)

Sure, Herbert is a little weird, but there's no denying genius. And how's this for a nerd? He loves his professor so much he won't let the man die.

Jock/Bully

Gabe Santora

The Faculty

(1998)

Yup, he's on the football team. And yup, he'll bully you. However, he won't just take your lunch money. He's going to give you a serious alien virus that you just can't wait to pass on.

Popular Girl/Diva

Jennifer Check

Jennifer's Body

(2009)

Of course, the popular girl is a cheerleader. However, that's not really why she's popular. To find out why just ask why she had to sit on a bag of frozen peas for a week. Unfortunately, you may not live to repeat the answer.

Invisible Girl

Jennifer Caulfield

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors

(1987)

Even among a group of misfits, she's a bit of an outcast. She's got a little ambition. She wants to be a famous actress one day. She studies by watching as much TV as you'll let her. If she starts dozing off, she'll shock herself back awake by burning herself with a cigarette. Eventually, she does get to be in TV, herself.

Class Clowns

Randy Meeks and Stu Macher

Scream

(1996)

When it comes to the subject of horror movies, these guys are full on geeks. However, they're far more approachable than our resident class nerd and with a sly sense of humor. Just be careful. One of them is not as nice as he seems.

Troubled Youth

Angela Baker

Sleepaway Camp

(1983)

Talk about troubled. Whew! Having your parents killed right in front of you does something to a person, ya know. Then there is that one other little "thing" she's not quite sure how to deal with. Hmmm...

Click here to view the results of the Back to School blogathon!

Carrie (2013)

Directed by Kimberly Peirce.

2013. Rated PG-13, 99 minutes.

Cast:

Chloe Grace Moretz

Julianne Moore

Gabriella Wilde

Ansel Elgort

Portia Doubleday

Alex Russell

Judy Geer

Zoe Belkin

Karissa Strain

Connor Price

When I heard they were remaking Carrie, the horror classic from 1976, I wasn't the least bit surprised. I wasn't uspet, either. I have a few reasons. First, and foremost, its themes are timeless. This isn't some purely 70s flick that would have to be stripped and rebuilt to fit the twenty-first century. We're talking bullying, self-esteem, mother-daughter relationships, and revenge. Nothing dated here at all, aside from the clothing. That brings me to the other reason I didn't mind. A new version will bring Carrie to people who might not seek out the original simply because it came out before they were born. The only question is would it be botched, or not. The answer is yes...

and no.

Where it works is in the tone it's going for. The setup is essentially the same as the original, but the execution is different. Carrie (Moretz) freaks out in the shower at school when she gets her very first period and her classmates respond by pointing, laughing, and trying to stone her to death with tampons. She also learns she has telekinesis, the ability to move things with her mind. The '76 version plays up the idea of young women blossoming sexually and having that filter throughout the rest of the movie. This time around, we go for a straight horror vibe with some actual sex thrown in. Well, not actual, but you get the picture. Everything is immediately somber and scored with ominous music. It's also purposely drab. Carrie's mom Margaret (Moore) speaks in a hushed voice and our bullies are mean about the way they go about being mean. Let me explain that last sentence. In the original, the bullies certainly did awful things to Carrie. However, they went about their business in a jolly manner. They often made us laugh. Here, we get none of that. It's all dead serious to them.

A lack of humor is just one of many differences between this movie and its predecessor. Not only is it apparent in our bullies, but more importantly, in Carrie's mom. The role is played so outlandishly by Piper Laurie in the original, it becomes sublime ridiculousness. It is difficult not to see it as satire. She also has a domineering presence. The iron fist with which she rules is clearly evident. We sense that Carrie fears her mother with every bone in her body. Laurie's performance is simultaneously a pointed jab at over the top religious fanatics while making an effective one, herself. She's a woman who knows that without a doubt that she is empowered by God to do the things she does. Julianne Moore's take on the same character in the remake is almost the exact opposite. She speaks softly, often appearing even meeker than her daughter, cowering in the presence of others. There is no humor in watching a woman who is completely vulnerable and saddened by this fact. Even her outlook on religion feels different. Where Laurie is absolutely empowered by her faith, Moore's Margaret seems to approach it from a place of weakness. She's not a tall standing soldier in His army, but a flower wilting in His presence. Her only hope is that she's repented enough to not be punished for past indiscretions. This is a dramatic difference. It changes the dynamics of her relationship with Carrie to the point where it doesn't quite work. Where the original Margaret is commanding of Carrie's every move, this one seems to be pleading with Carrie to maybe find it in her to attend a church service or two. This makes it harder to believe that she would still take the same steps as the other Margaret at the end of this movie.

Without directly comparing it to the original, this version of Carrie still doesn't quite work. Carrie herself doesn't feel quite fragile enough to pull this thing off. For starters, she's standing up to Mama way too soon. When we get to that all-important prom scene she's less like a person who just snapped and couldn't take it anymore, and more like one who is simply vindictive. It's like she's been waiting for this moment her entire life. Take note of the pause in the climactic scene with her mother. It's one, maybe two seconds of film, but gives the scene a totally different feel than the same scene in the first movie. It feels like something this Carrie has just been itching to do. Spacek's Carrie just has an instinctive reaction to a heightened situation. Another issue is Carrie's classmates. Right from the start, one character is far too remorseful of her actions toward Carrie in the opening scene. This removes lots of mystery from the movie and it doesn't quite feel like the entire school is really against her. Too many people are in her corner for us to feel the need to be there.

Like I said in the beginning, I really don't mind that Carrie was remade. I just think director Kimberly Peirce's approach to the material was a mistake. Trying to make it a straight horror flick doesn't really work. The original was not that. It was a movie that used teen angst and religious commentary in service of a twisted sense of humor that culminated in two fantastic horror movie scenes. It seems she mistook those non-horror elements as ancillary components of the film rather than being integral to its effectiveness. The performances she gets from Moretz and Moore are actually pretty good, but misguided as detailed above. On the other hand, the major plus of the film is its look, including a fairly impressive prom scene. However, and you should know my rule by now, a movie with not much besides pretty pictures is not a good movie.

MY SCORE: 5/10

Thursday Movie Picks: Unstable Characters

Ah yes, the first Thursday of the Halloween Season is here! On Thursdays, I pick three movies based on a theme selected by our host, the wonderful Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves. She was gracious enough to make all of the themes for this month horror friendly. Our first topic is "Unstable Characters." Wow, there are tons of those, especially within horror, so there are plenty to choose from. Just to make it a double whammy...or maybe a triple whammy, I'm going for a theme within a theme within a theme within a theme. No typos. And four themes if you lost count. I'll explain. The overall theme, of course is unstable characters. The second is horror. To add a third layer, these are all foreign movies. Finally, the unstable person in all three movies is a female. And by now, you know that these picks generally fall into one of three categories: best (favorites), worst (hated), or hidden gems. Once again, I'm going for the latter. Hopefully, I'll broaden your horrorizons.

Taeko

(Masumi Miyazaki)

Strange Circus
(2005)

This movie is a questionable fit for this category. By that, I mean we're not really sure if our protagonist is stable, or not. To be honest, we're not even sure if she's the sole protagonist or one of two. You may wonder how this is possible. The story starts with a twelve year old girl who is being molested by her father. Eventually, we meet Taeko, a renowned author. The question becomes did what we saw to that point actually happen or is it just the latest novel that she is writing. If it did happen, was it to her? It's a twisted tale told with tons of beautiful yet disturbing imagery by Japanese director Shion Sono. By the way, star Masumi Miyazaki delivers an unbelievable performance taking on three roles, flawlessly. (Click here for my full review)

Bae Soo-mi

(Su-jeong Lim)

A Tale of Two Sisters
(2003)

Our unstable person in this Korean horror flick has just come home from a mental institution. She has a sister who adores her and a step-mother who hates her. Her dad is baffled by her. This twisting, bending Korean horror movie continuously screws with your head. And for fear of spoiling the movie, I won't say too much more. Just know that it unfurls itself in brilliant fashion. And stay away from its American remake, The Uninvited. (Click here for my full review)

Marie

(Cecile De France)

High Tension
(2003)

Some will tell you that this French ode to slasher flicks is a dud. What they really mean is that the twist is irredeemably stupid. In fact, just by including it here, I've probably ruined it. At the risk of removing all mystery, I'll just flat out say that the young lady pictured is indeed unstable. So why am I recommending this? Up until that twist, this is an insanely tense and often gory game of cat and mouse. Our lady in question is in pursuit of a madman who has kidnapped her bestest buddy after randomly and gruesomely slaughtering the rest of her family. For most of the movie it keeps us on the edge of our seat. We're deeply invested in finding out where all of this is going. Admittedly, it just creates a massive plot hole when we find out, but the fun is in getting there.

Click here for more Thursday Movie Picks.

Carrie (1976)

Directed Brian De Palma.

1976. Rated R, 98 minutes.

Cast:

Sissy Spacek

Piper Laurie

Betty Buckley

William Katt

Amy Irving

John Travolta

Edie McClurg

P.J. Soles

Priscilla Pointer

I saw Carrie on network TV when I was a kid. I think. I'm not even sure I watched the whole thing. I only remembered two parts. First is the obvious one, pig's blood spilling on her at the prom and her going bananas with her telekinesis. The other was a shot of her with her boobs blurred out. I told you it was network TV, didn't I? In the years since, I've heard and read so much about it, and seen that prom clip so often, I feel like I've watched it a dozen times over. Now it was time to put a face to the voice. Time to match the movie with all the articles and reviews I've read. Time to watch Carrie for the first time. Again.

After a decidedly unathletic volleyball game, our story actually starts in the girls lockerroom. It's filmed in slow motion with lots of naked girls frolicing about, steam everywhere, and Carrie White (Spacek) suggestively soaping herself down in the shower. I thought I'd mistakenly slipped in a Playboy video. I almost hit the open/close button on my DVD player to check it out, but we arrived at the point of this scene. Carrie gets her period for the very first time. Somehow, she's totally clueless about what's happening to her and freaks out, to put it mildly. What do all of her sensitive and caring classmates do? They point, laugh, and pelt her with as many tampons as they can yank out of the dispenser on the wall.

At home, things aren't any better. Her mom Margaret (Laurie) is a religious zealot whose never taught her anything about the female body. Mom takes Carrie's period as a sign that the girl is now a sinner. She literally drags Carrie by her hair into a tiny broom closet and locks her in there to pray. By the way, this room contains the creepiest version of the crucifix you'll ever see. Just remember what it looks like. That will be important later. The takeaway from all of this is that the girls in school get in trouble for their actions, and start plotting their revenge against Carrie. Carrie finds out she can indeed move things with her mind and Mom goes all fire and brimstone every time she speaks.

Horror is not a genre known for tremendous acting. More often than not, it's movies are populated by pretty, but not especially talented people. Every now and again, we get one that is wonderfully performed. Carrie is one of those movies. Sissy Spacek is just spot-on as our troubled heroine. From the moment she finds herself bleeding from where she never has, there is an unquestionable innocence about her. As viewers we instantly identify not with her, but with gym teacher Ms. Collins (Buckley) who wants badly to protect Carrie, help her blossom into a well-rounded young lady. Both women are phenomenal in their roles. By the way, Ms. Collins slaps the holy hell out of a student and everyone just rolls with it. My, how times have changed. We also get nice turns from a pre-Grease John Travolta and a very young Nancy Allen as our villains on campus. Oh, and if you remember lots of the women you've seen over the years who have always appeared older and played someone's mom, see if you can spot a young Edie McClurg in a bit part. Nope, I'm not telling who she plays or where you should know her from.

Other than Spacek in the lead, no one in the cast even comes close to the work done by Piper Laurie as Carrie's mom. Her performance is so purposely and perfectly ham-fisted she literally makes the movie. I know, the prom scene doesn't involve her whatsoever and is one of the most iconic moments in the annals of horror. However, that scene only takes care of half Carrie's problem. The other half is waiting for her at home. As the Oscars both Laurie and Spacek were nominated for suggest, they totally sell it.

The bonus for me is that the interactions of mother and daughter, particularly mom's reactions, illuminate the prism through which I see and "get" this picture. I do this differently than most people, but hear me out. General consensus says that Carrie is a classic horror flick, one of the all-time greats. I don't see it that way at all. Don't get me wrong, I actually love this movie. I'm just not so sure it's actually horror. Certainly, there are plenty of horror elements in play, but I'm still not sold. Granted, I'm not a female with terrifying memories of her first period. Still, the movie never really tries to scare the viewer. It goes out of its way to create sympathy for our heroine, but it never puts fear in our hearts. This brings me back to Carrie and her mom. Everything between them is way over the top, in a good way, but still over the top. It seems as if director Brian De Palma is taking great pains to make sure we understand the absurdity of it all. Carrie is innocent, almost to the point of being infantile while Mom is a stark raving lunatic. Then the overall tone is not really dreadful, but sad. The whole thing strikes me as a rather brilliant jet black comedy. It's far more interested in skewering religious fanatics and blasting the high school social class system than frightening us. I certainly laughed at a number of things it seemed were being used as jabs at its targets. It does this throughout whereas the horror portion only includes the last three scenes of the movie.

None of this is to suggest Carrie is any less of a movie than it's been hailed. In fact, viewing it as intentionally and subversively humorous, which I believe it is, makes it an even greater achievement than approaching it as something that's supposed to be either scary or disturbing. The parts that are disturbing are so in relation to what it says about the segments of society it holds its mirror up to. Incidentally, the areas covered: a girl's first period, her relationship with an overbearing mother, narrow-minded points of view, and bullying are timeless. Therefore, the movie might look dated because of fashion and hairstyles, but it doesn't feel that way.