Friday, June 19, 2015

Terrible Movies Summaries #6

You know how it goes. Someone tells you they saw a movie and you ask "what is it about?" That person then launches into a long, drawn out explanation. Or, you click on Dell on Movies only to see a wall of text you don't feel like dealing with. This is my attempt at helping you out. I summarize a bunch of movies in one sentence. One freaking sentence. Am I always accurate? Well, judge for yourself.

The Avengers: Age of Ultron - Computer malfunction requires a team of specialists.

Beyond the Lights - Mom pimps out her daughter, police intervene.

The Color Purple - A man struggles to keep his marriage afloat when an old girlfriend shows up at his door.

Dracula Untold - A caring family man battles a potentially fatal disease.

Forrest Gump - Woman with a troubled background deals with depression, addiction, and the mentally challenged man who stalks her.

Furious 7 - Shit cars can't really do.

Guardians of the Galaxy - Man bonds with his pet raccoon and a tree.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 - Actor struggles getting into character while filming a series of Public Service Announcements.

Jaws - A group of men use unorthodox fishing methods.

The Karate Kid - An elderly man tricks a young boy into doing chores.

Limitless - Drug addict believes he's smarter when high.

Locke - A driver distracted by his cell phone.

Lucy - Woman on mind-altering substance stalks her employers.

Ouija - A group of suicidal teens play dangerous games with their imaginary friends.

The Spectacular Now - A teen gets drunk with his dad, drives, and crashes, but it's cool.


  1. Haha! I love these posts of yours :) The thing with your Locke description though is that genuinely IS the whole film, ha!
    - Allie

  2. Very enjoyable and for the ones I've seen pretty much spot on, I would have added insufferable in front of teen in the description for The Spectacular Now.

  3. LOL at Furious 7. That's so accurate. Another good one for Ultron is: Machine decides to wipe out humanity after spending three minutes on the internet.

    The Color Purple one is so wrong. lol

    I love these.

  4. LOL...but it's the shade!

  5. The one on Karate Kid made me laugh.

  6. These are wonderful. Oh my gosh ... the recap of The Color Purple. I can see Alice Walker slamming her head into a wall. :-)

    1. Thanks. I can see AW really being pissed with me, lol.

  7. That Forrest Gump one made me laugh at loud. And the Furious 7 one isn't terrible, it's accurate!