Good morning, class. I hope you all had a good night's rest so that you are at your most attentive for today's lesson. As for me, I've downed two cups of coffee and threw back a 5 Hour Energy shot on the walk from the parking lot. I've also eaten the shiny apple one of you little sweethearts left on my desk. I'm wired and raring to go. Open your textbooks to page 176. That's the beginning of the chapter titled Thursday Movie Picks hosted by Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves. Today, we will be discussing Teachers. Yes, boys and girls, these are teachers you probably haven't met, yet. That's okay because they will take good care of you. Maybe.
The Teacher
(1974)
Our Teacher: Ms. Marshall
I'm not sure there are any legitimately good qualities about this movie, but here it is. Why? It's just bonkers right from the start with an exceptionally high unintentional humor quotient. We start with our teacher, Diane Marshall (Angel Tompkins), sunbathing topless on her boat while a psycho spies on her. When Ralph (Anthony James), said psycho, is interrupted he winds up killing his younger brother and blaming his brother's best friend Sean (Jay North) who goes to the local high school and happens to be a student of Diane's. You know what else? Diane has the hots for Sean and they get it on. With the blessing of Sean's mom. Yup. Oh, almost forgot, Ralph stalks them both. To quote one of the greatest living poets, Gwen Stefani, it's bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. In case you were wondering, that's code for so bad it's awesome! (Click here for my full review)
Trip with the Teacher
(1975)
Our Teacher: Ms. Tenny
This time, our teacher isn't a sexual predator, but she's damn sure having trouble with one. Her and an all female group of students are on some sort of field trip when their bus breaks down. To the rescue rides a trio of psychos on motorcycles. They start off all helpful and stuff. By helpful, I mean they pull out some rope and tow the schoolbus. Ummm...yeah, that happens. By stuff I mean, they take Ms. Tenny (Brenda Fogarty), the girls to a secluded house and proceed to terrorize them. Interesting side note: our main psycho is played by Zalman King who would go on to direct Wild Orchid and help to pen 9 1/2 Weeks. More importantly, he was the driving force behind Showtime's The Red Shoes Diaries. More important than that? He was in this movie and it's so bad it's awesome! (Click here for my full review)
187
(1997)
Our Teacher: Mr. Garfield
Okay, let's move on from psycho stalkers trying to rape teachers or teachers sleeping with students. Let's completely flip the script. We're going to talk about a teacher who works in a rough inner-city school and tries to impart some knowledge on the wayward youth. You've probably seen Dangerous Minds or Stand and Deliver or Lean on Me. Well, this ain't any of those. Good ol' Mr. Garfield has been taking crap for students for years and won't stand for it anymore. He soon finds himself at war with the local gang. And he ain't no punk. The side note this time is that this is the first movie where Samuel L. Jackson was given top billing.
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I've only seen 187 which I thought was OK. Notably for Clifton Collins Jr. who is just fucking awesome.
ReplyDeleteYup. The world needs more CC Jr.
DeleteHaha! Your into to this post was just the best. I'm sure one Thursday I'll be able to comment 'oh, I've seen X!' but until then, you're just adding to my watch list :)
ReplyDelete- Allie
Cool. I definitely recommend starting with 187 since that's a legitimately good movie.
DeleteHa! Those first two sound awesomely dreadful and since I try never to miss a Dennis the Menace/Jay North movie I'll have to seek out the first. I've heard of 187 but never seen it but with Samuel L. Jackson and Clifton Collins it sounds worth checking out.
ReplyDeleteI went a slightly more traditional route though one of mine is also set in a school in crisis and I stretched a little on my bonus since it's a TV movie but it fit so well and it had theatrical level talent and production.
Kindergarten Cop (1990)-New York cop Arnold Schwarzenegger, along with another agent (the fun Pamela Reed), on the trail of a drug dealer follows a lead to a small town in Oregon where it's believed the dealer's divorced wife is hiding out. When the other agent, who was supposed to masquerade as a kindergarten teacher, falls ill he steps in. Mix of kiddie comedy and violence isn't always wholly successful but there is a great deal to enjoy in this mostly sweet comedy.
Teachers (1984)-Pitch black comedy/drama of a troubled school in the midst of a lawsuit from a student given a diploma despite the fact that he's illiterate and the teachers who try to maintain some semblance of order despite their frustrations. Good performances by a cast full of familiar faces and a loose unbridled one by Richard Mulligan as an educator who dresses up as the characters he teaches about.
The Miracle Worker (1962)-Young teacher Annie Sullivan is sent by the Perkins institute to the home of the Kellers to try and help them with their blind and deaf daughter Helen, who through years of indulgence has become a wild child. Discovering a keen intellect trapped in the girl she sets out on the rough challenge to break through her defenses. Both Bancroft and Duke won Oscars for their great work in this.
Honorable Mention-The Corn is Green (1979)-A strong willed teacher, slightly past middle age, inherits property in a small Welsh mining village where she determines to start a school to educate the workers. She meets resistance from the mine owner who doesn't see the value of her plan and discovers a lad with untapped possibilities and becomes his mentor. This one is slightly outside the perimeters since it's was a TV special but with Katharine Hepburn, in her best late career performance, as the star; George Cukor as director and production values good enough for a theatrical release I decided to include it since it's a favorite of mine.
Yes, the first two entertainingly dreadful.
DeleteSurprisingly, I've only seen Kindergarten Cop in bits and pieces, never a full single viewing. What I saw was meh.
I remember hearing about Teachers. Not sure if I've seen it to be honest.
I saw The Miracle Worker back 5th or 6th grade after my class read the book. I don't remember much of either except that it's the Helen Keller story.
Never heard of that last one. I'm guessing it's pretty good based solely on the fact they convince Kate Hepburn to be in it.
Well Kindergarten Cop isn't a great work of art but for a Schwarzenegger picture it's way above the usual quality of his films and has a wonderful supporting cast.
DeleteThe Corn is Green was originally a hit Broadway play by Emlyn Williams in the 40's that was written for Ethel Barrymore and then turned into a film starring Bette Davis, which is okay but Bette was really too young for the part. Kate makes more sense in the role, it was shot on location in Wales and is visually beautiful as well. It's a great story of what determination can accomplish and the difference one person can make in another's life. I can't recommend it enough. It is on DVD.
Yeah, maybe I'll see Kindegarten Cop, maybe not. I'm a fan of his action flicks, though.
DeleteYou got me this week, I haven't seen any of these. Trip With the Teacher sounds kind of terrifying though.
ReplyDeleteIt does get really uncomfortable at several points.
DeleteDo I get extra credit for having seen 187 theatrically?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I didn't think so.
I have to check out one of the other two though, as they each sound a good bit of alright. I can't imagine how ludicrous that first flick is.
Great post as always!
You absolutely get extra credit for paying good money to see SLJ kick the asses of a bunch late 20somethings playing teenagers. And yes, The Teacher is totally ludicrous. I'd love to see the yays and boos on that one.
DeleteFYI, if you're interested in The Teacher, it's on YouTube now...
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYqaJNZNqkU
Oh boy. I never thought I'd actually get the chance. My mouth's writing checks my body can't cash.
Deletelol.
DeleteI haven't seen any of your picks but 187 seems interesting, definitely putting that on my watch list!
ReplyDelete187 is a cool flick. Love to see your thoughts on it.
DeleteOne has to love bad 70's flicks:) I have not seen these but the usual gals with Farrah hair and short shorts must abound. I haven't seen the last one either...at least I don't think I have. I do recall seeing a film a few years ago but only near the end and the teacher was "mad as hell and not going to take it any more"...maybe it was this one.
ReplyDelete"the usual gals with Farrah hair and short shorts" hahahaha. That is SO 70s.
DeleteI hadn't heard of 187 but Samuel L. Jackson as a teacher? Now you got me curious.
ReplyDeleteThis isn't his typical full-of-bravado type, either. It really is a good performance.
DeleteWhoa - not seen any of these - but as always - its inspired me to seek out new films :)
ReplyDelete-Katie at Ever So Ethnically Confused
Cool. I'd start with 187. That's the most acceptable movie.
DeleteI remember when 187 came out - those ads were all over TV. I kinda want to see it now, just since the idea of SLJ as an ass-kicking teacher is kind of amazing (at least in theory).
ReplyDeleteThe Teacher sounds like a predecessor to J. Lo's trash triumph The Boy Next Door. Jeez, I should have done a "Trashy Teachers Trio" and chosen that and Wild Things and... I'm sure there's another I've seen that wasn't Bad Teacher.
187 is a fun flick.
DeleteNice connection between The Teacher and The Boy Next Door. And yes to Wild Things.
Your first two picks... How do you even come upon these movies? They both sound maniac level ridiculous and awesome!
ReplyDelete