Welcome to Dell on Movies. How may I help you? I used to say some variation of that when I worked at Blockbuster a few years back. I started just as the company was starting to recognize Netflix as a viable threat, or about two years after everyone else already had. I left Blockbuster just as their nosedive was beginning. That stretch of a little over two years marks my only experience working in retail. I actually liked the job. The work wasn't that hard, and I got to talk about movies for a few hours each night. Unfortunately, they paid us in bubblegum and paper clips, and it was only a part-time gig, so I split soon as I had the chance.
I just used the word split to denote leaving. Age shown.
Anyhoo, I'm going on about my time as a video clerk because the topic for this week's Thursday Movie Picks, hosted by Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves, is movies set in a store, supermarket, or mall. There have been some great films that fit the bill. Nah, we won't be discussing any of those on this site. If you don't like it, take your business elsewhere.
Hollywood Hot Tubs
(1984)Like all teens in 80s movies, Shawn is a bit mischievous. When he gets caught vandalizing the iconic Hollywood sign, he's given two options. One of them is jail, so obviously he chooses the other. That one is going to work in his uncle's hot tub repair store. Of course, this is a job that requires to make housecalls. When he does, it's sexy time! This is all well and good until he starts to develop feelings for the girl who works with him at the store. What follows is one of the decade's most heartfelt teen romances. Okay, I'm lying. It's not that. It is, however, so bad it's awesome!
The Malibu Bikini Shop
(1986)Alan and Todd are fresh out of college and ready to take over the world. No wondering what they're going to do with their lives since they've just inherited their aunt's bikini shop. Alan is the serious-minded sort who wants to turn this failing business into a success. Todd is just there to scope out the chicks as they try on bikinis courtesy of the two way mirrors in the dressing rooms. By the way, Todd is played by a young Bruce Greenwood. How he survived this to actually have a career is anyone's guess. Anyhoo, for both guys to get what they want, they have to keep coming up with increasingly zany ways to drum up business. The thing this film is most known for is its ending. I've no problem spoiling it since you're not going to watch it. Anyhoo, there's a huge bikini sale/fashion show, the climax of which is all the girls running into the ocean. As they do, we're told of a very unique feature of the suits they're wearing. They dissolve in water. So bad. So, so bad. So bad it's awesome!
(1986)The synopsis for this movie on imdb.com reads: "Eight teenagers are trapped after hours in a high tech shopping mall and pursued by three murderous security robots out of control." That premise sounds like this is a serious examination of our inherent fears of machines taking over the world, and our growing dependence on those machines. It also leaves out two important things. One, how did these kids get trapped in the first place. The other is just why those robots are murderous. The first one is because these...ahem...kids, and by kids I mean a bunch mid to late 20 somethings, decided to stay behind after hours and have a party where they can pair up and have sex in one of the stores where a couple of them work, cuz that's how it goes down when the mall closes, I guess. As for the robots, they were perfectly fine when the movie started and were all set to patrol the mall properly. Big storm outside, lightning strikes the main computer, or something, and now they just want to kill up everything. They're equipped with deadly lasers and some hellified pincers for hands. It's basically a slasher flick, but with a trio of robots in place of a singular psycho. It's also so bad it's awesome!
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