Thursday, June 2, 2016

Thursday Movie Picks: Wedding Movies


In lots of places, the beginning of June is also the beginning of wedding season. You know weddings, right, those things girls drag their boyfriends as the most massive hint possible. Or, that place where some poor dude in a tux he had to get approved by his soon-to-be wife suffers silently through a hangover while a roomful of people watch and wait for him to say "I do" on cue. Or maybe, if he's lucky like me, the wedding is just the start of the happiest day of his life. This week, Thursday Movie Picks is all about weddings. Thank our illustrious host, Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves for this. I've just walked you down the aisle. Now let's get to the actual nuptials.

psst...there's a theme within the theme...at least early.


Oh wait, wrong pic...


Shrek
(2001)
Lord Farquaad pretty much runs things, already. However, he desires to be a true king. To do so, he has to marry a princess. He sets his sights on Princess Fiona who happens to be trapped in a tower guarded by a dragon. Rather than rescuing her, himself, he hires the ogre Shrek who is only doing it so that all of the fairy tale creatures who have sought refuge in his swamp will be made to leave. If you've never seen Shrek, please go do so now.



Damn. did that shit, again.


Corpse Bride
(2005)
Victor and Victoria are both the privileged type who must contend with their arranged marriage to each other. Yes, there is a reference to a Julie Andrews in their names. Anyhoo, Victor is particularly perplexed by the situation. He finds himself alone in the forest practicing his vows. He even goes so far as to place the wedding ring on the root of a tree root sticking out of the ground. What he doesn't know is the root is actually the finger of a woman who had been murdered. His expression of love brings her back to life and she takes it as his truthful declaration. Wonderful weirdness ensues from there.


Book of Life
(2014)
Hey, I got that pic right the first time! Ahem, moving on. Here, we have a good old fashioned love triangle where two guys compete for attentions of a young woman. Both are hoping to marry her. One, Manolo, is an aspiring bull fighter from a long line of famous bull fighters. Strangely for the profession, he refuses to kill bulls and really wants to be a musician. The other guy, Joaquin, is the town hero. He actually seems invincible. There's a very good reason for that which I won't give here. Carmen is the young lady over which they're competing. It all sounds pretty straightforward, but there is a major twist. This little contest actually takes them into the afterlife.



You know what? Just about every stat I've ever seen on the matter says that fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. Therefore, it only makes sense that half the films I name here are ones I wish I could divorce...or have never watched...that make sense? Anyhoo, that means I have to give you three more films. Three. Rotten. Films.


Madea's Family Reunion
(2006)
Doesn't the title say it all? I mean, if you're a Tyler Perry and/or Madea fan, have at it. For me, once was one time too many. The story, should you care, starts with Madea herself being made to take in a troubled child in order to avoid jail time after violating the terms of her house arrest. Read that sentence again and tell me on what planet could this ever happen. Anyhoo, one of Madea's nieces is engaged to an abusive man. The niece's mom encourages the girl to go through with the wedding because the dude is rich. I'm sure that happens somewhere, but ugh! We do end with a wedding in the movie and it is the most ridiculously garish thing ever committed to film. Just look at that pic again, though it doesn't do the scene justice. Those are real people dressed like angels hanging from the ceilings playing real instruments. One of these instruments is a damn piano. Are you fucking kidding me. The period I put on that last sentence was not a typo. That was a statement, not a question.


I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
(2007)
Chuck and Larry are a couple of New York City firefighters who are both straight. A brush with death causes Larry to significantly increase his life insurance. Since he's not allowed to name either of his very young kids as primary beneficiary, and has no prospective wives on the horizon, he comes up with the cockamamie idea to enter a civil union with Chuck, who agrees. Of course, the powers that be start watching Chuck and Larry to make sure they're not committing fraud. A homophobic gay rights movie ensues. How is that even possible? Well, Adam Sandler. Sigh. At least, this is the movie that gave me...and me only...well, and maybe Justin Timberlake...the greatest scene of Jessica Biel's career...


Why, yes. I am occasionally a pig.


You Again
(2010)
After a lifetime of being bullied, Marni has become a successful executive. She returns home for her brother Will's wedding only to find out his bride to be, Joanna, is the same girl who bullied her in high school. What angers Marni more than anything is Joanna acting like she has no idea who she is. Instead of just confronting Joanna on the first day and potentially ending this blight on humanity in about twenty minutes, we're subjected to Marni jumping through all sorts of hoops hoping to jog Joanna's memory and wrangle an apology from her. The only thing actually worthwhile in this movie is Betty White. Still, I won't ever again watch You Again again. Again.


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24 comments:

  1. Never in my life did a film nearly put me in total rage as much as You Again. It's bad enough they wasted the likes of people like Sigourney Weaver, Jamie Lee Curtis, Betty White, & Hall & Oates. It was the fact that it was so annoying, so predictable, and so fucking stupid. I hated it. I Pronounce You Chuck & Larry.... yeah, that is awful. I didn't need to see Ving Rhames butt-naked in a shower singing "I'm Every Woman". Yet, who could resist Jessica Biel in her undies. You rock Justin Timberlake.

    The Book of Life and Shrek are films I do like. I haven't seen Corpse Bride yet as I heard it's one of the better collaborations between Tim Burton and Johnny Depp and thank goodness I haven't seen Madea's Family Reunion.

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    1. Lol, I forgot Hall & Oates was in You Again. And yes, the film wasted all of them. Chuck & Larry. Sigh. I've already said too much about. I recommend seeing Corpse Bride and staying far far away from Madea's Family Reunion.

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  2. lol with the ones you would divorce. I saw parts of Chuck and Larry and they were soooo bad.

    I like the theme you went with for your good picks. I also chose Corpse Bride, it wasn't the best movie out there but I realized I don't care for too many wedding movies. Shrek was a great idea.

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    1. Thanks, I think I like Corpse Bride more than most. Always glad to see some love for Shrek.

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  3. Jessica Biel is a GODDESS and that scene is the only reason to watch that MESS of a movie.

    Well...actually...you're better off to just YouTube that one scene because that movie is just...awful.

    And I DIED at your first pic.

    L
    O
    L

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    1. Jessica Biel. Drool.

      That first pic? Yup, gave me a good laugh, too.

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  4. Sweet Jesus Dell that first picture!! That's quite a range of choices. Via my nieces and nephews I've seen enough of Shrek to know it's a sweet enough film though not for me. I haven't seen the other two animated films either and probably won't not being an animation fan. I detest Tyler Perry and the Madea films in particular and not that it was needed but thanks for the warning on this one. Haven't seen Chuck & Larry but You Again was a huge disappointment. So much talent squandered.

    There's a huge pool of choices for this week so I tried for more obscure ones that could use a little light shone on them:

    A Wedding (1978)-Robert Altman directed film with his usual kaleidoscopic cast ranging from Lillian Gish to Desi Arnaz, Jr. of the friends and family of a young couple who intermingle at a mansion before, during and after the ceremony, not always harmoniously. Not one of his wholly successful pictures but if you’re a fan of the director worth seeking out.

    Royal Wedding (1951)-Tom and Ellen Bowen (Fred Astaire & Jane Powell), an American brother & sister dance team, are headed to a London booking that coincides with the celebrations of the upcoming 1947 marriage of then Princess Elizabeth and Prince Phillip. During the sea voyage Ellen meets Lord Brindale (Peter Lawford) and falls for him. Upon arrival Tom and Ellen begin planning their show where Tom meets the elegant Anne Ashmond (Sarah Churchill-Winston’s daughter) during auditions. So smitten is he with her he literally dances on the ceiling. Many memorable dance numbers later this MGM musical culminates in many nuptials.

    It Had to Be You (1947)-Daffy comedy starring Ginger Rogers as a socialite notorious for leaving men at the altar. On her fourth fiancé she’s certain she’s found the right man until on a train trip another turns up in her dreams claiming to be her true love. Returning home she’s flustered to discover the man really exists, or is he a figment of her imagination? Sort of a precursor to Runaway Bride with a twist.

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    1. I would tell you that calling Shrek a sweet film is selling it way short since it's a phenomenal deconstruction of the fairy tale, but I won't since you don't do animation.

      Haven't seen any of your choices. I'm most curious about The Wedding since dance movies aren't really MY thing. I wouldn't mind seeing the others, but they'll probably something I have to come across rather than seek out.

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    2. Royal Wedding was interesting to me from the historical aspect of the marriage of Queen Elizabeth & Prince Philip since now they've been married for so long. It was cool to see that their marriage engendered a lot of the same frenzy that Prince Charles and Princess Diana's did years later.

      Of course the dancing is top flight as well. One rather weird thing that the script more or less ignores, Astaire was a full thirty years older than his screen sister Jane Powell. She was a last minute replacement, actually the second replacement. The film started with June Allyson cast (still 18 years Astaire's junior) but she discovered she was pregnant and had to withdraw and the studio pressured Judy Garland (23 years younger than Fred), who was out on medical leave, to step in since she and Astaire had been so successful together in Easter Parade but she was extremely frail and collapsed almost right away so enter Jane. Despite the age disparity they work well together even if it would have made more sense to rework the script to have them a father/daughter act.

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    3. I have heard that story before about The Royal Wedding. I've no doubt the dancing is fantastic. I just generally let dance movies come to me rather than going to find them.

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  5. I've never even seen Chuck and Larry in its entirety, and I would watch that Jessica Biel scene every damn day. Pig away, my friend! That chick is glorious and knows it and showed it. Shrek is awesome! That's the only one of your picks I connect with this week.

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    1. Thank you. That scene is everything, isn't it?

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  6. OMFG THOSE PICTURES!!! Thank God my sis and her husband didn't do anything like that so I didn't have to completely disavow my relationship to them!

    Shrek is fun, Corpse Bride is better (and also probably the best thing Tim Burton has done in the past ten years, barring MAYBE Frankenweenie). I haven't seen Book of Life but it looks really good.

    As for your other three.... I haven't seen a single Madea picture and I'm rather glad for that. That wedding is even more garish than the one in Sex And The City 2, and that is saying something! I refuse to see Chuck & Larry on principle... fucking idiotic. And the less said about the utter waste of space that is You Again, the better.

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    1. I can't imagine even approaching my spouse to be with the idea to dress up like Shrek and Fiona for our wedding.

      I really like Frankenweenie. Check out The Book of Life.

      I've so far avoided Sex and the City 2 since I wasn't too fond of the first.

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  7. Hahaha that first "Shrek" picture is killing me! I saw Chuck and Larry, the whole thing, and it was bloody awful, and I love all of your good-movie picks.

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    1. Them Shrek folks are awesome, ain't they? Chuck & Larry, ugh.

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  8. I love Shrek! I think it's a great movie but those people need to get a life. I have to give The Corpse bride a 2nd chance. I saw it on a plane right after a dear friend of mine lost her child to SIDS so I had a hard time watching it. I haven't seen the 3rd film but I have seen parts of Chuck & Larry....thank god i never saw the whole thing although i would like to see the original French film. I will pass on the other 2 as well

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    1. Ha! And on a plane after something like that is not a good time to watch any movie.

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  9. Love all these picks!! Apart from Adam Sandler, I never liked him. Corpse Bride especially. The Book of Life was so beautifully animated, I wish it had more of a fanfare when it was released.

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    1. No worries, I hated Chuck & Larry, too.

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  10. eek...why would anyone dress as Shrek for a wedding. Hmm...maybe its cheaper than buying a dress and a tux?
    and I agree with you on You Again...it's bad.

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    1. I'm sure it's cheaper, but still. You Again, ugh, so bad.

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  11. Hey Dell, is that you in the banner?

    I like Corpse Bride, it's unconventionally enchanting. Mwahahaha, that Shrek pic (the wrong one) is hilarious!

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    1. No.

      Glad Corpse Bride is getting some love. And yes, that Shrek pic, lol.

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