31 Days of Horror: Ranking the Kills - Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)

Since I'm watching them, I might as well have some fun with them. The original left us a little short on bodies to rank, the sequel doubles the number from four to eight (but only seven spots on this list - hmmm), plus one offscreen. If you're somehow unaware, this is the film that marks Jason's debut as the killer. Like him, let's take some hacks at it.

#7 

Vickie

To this point, this is the weakest kill in the franchise. After Jason gives her a stitch worthy, but not life-threatening cut on the leg. She backs into a corner and gives up. He slowly walks toward her while she doesn't move and waits to be murdered. He obliges with a knife to the chest.

#6 

Policeman

Poor guy stumbles upon Jason's cabin. When he turns to leave he gets the claw end of a hammer to the back of the skull. Never had a chance.

#5 

Crazy Ralph

Not a huge fan of this one because of who it is. Crazy Ralph was just there to warn people of what's coming. The writers gave him a peeping Tom moment and he did. He got it by being strangled from behind with a piece of barbed wire. 

#4 

Scott

Now this is a comeuppance I can get behind. After one of his colleagues sneaks off for a late night skinny dip (of course) Scott steals her clothes and winds up swinging upside down from a tree. Along comes Jason with a machete to the throat. Yay!

#3 

Jeff and Sandra

For proof that fornication is a capital offense in the Friday the 13th universe, look no further than Jeff and Sandra. While they're in the middle of the act Jason does them both with a spear through Jeff's back, Sandra's front, and the mattress. Talk about a deep stroke.

#2 

Alice

The first movie's final girl is this movie's first kill. The buildup is what gets it this high. She's home alone, thinks someone is in the house with her so she's looking around terrified, someone throws a cat through the window. It's all there. Eventually, Jason puts the girl out of her misery with a screwdriver through the temple.

#1 

Mark

This is one of the all-time favorites of any self-respecting Friday the 13th fan. It literally couldn't happen to a nicer guy, I'm sorry to say, but it is what it is. The guy is a paraplegic about to get him some nookie. Unfortunately, Jason ruins those plans. Mark goes outside to see "who's there." For his trouble, he gets a machete to the face. His chair then rolls backwards down an insanely long flight of steps, with him still in it as if he were wearing a seatbelt. The only thing that would've made it better would be the camera not fading to white before he completed his descent.

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