Saturday, October 24, 2020

31 Days of Horror: Ranking the Kills - Friday the 13th Part III

I keep watchin'em, Jason keeps killin'em. The gimmick here is that this time, it's in 3-D. Ooooohhh, spooky. Not really, but this time around the body count is up to 12 total. Two die offscreen, but show up as corpses later. That leaves us with nice round 10. Let's see how they stack up this time.

Oh, before I forget...


#10

Chuck

This one gets the bottom spot because it's anti-climactic. It feels like Jason was gearing up to do something heinous when he picks stoner Chuck up and throws him, but gets derailed when Chuck flies into the fuse box and gets electrocuted. 


#9

Loco

Loco is part of one of cinema's lamest biker gangs. They're at the camp to get a little revenge on Shelley (who dies offscreen, but absolutely should've been killed in front of the camera). Anyhoo, he goes looking for Fox (another offscreen victim) and catches a pitchfork to the gut.


#8

Edna

Edna owns a convenience store with her hubby Harold. She goes looking for him and finds a rather large knitting needle going through the back of her head when Jason grabs her through the door.


#7

Harold

The reason Edna couldn't find Harold is because Jason gave him a meat cleaver to the chest. Sweet. Simple.


#6

Chili

Chili is stoner Chuck's stoner girlfriend. Aside from dying, the most important thing she does in the movie is help get some usage out of that 3D by passing a joint to the camera. As for the dying, she gets hot fireplace poker all the way through her abdomen and out her back. Yeesh!


#5

Debbie

Oh, Debbie. She just finished getting it in on a hammock with her boyfriend. Of course, that's a death sentence. She gets a rather large knife through the back from the beneath the hammock. It's a kill we've seen before in this series, but hey, you see the size of that thing?


#4

Ali

This guy is the unsung hero of the movie. Or, at least he's the hardest to kill. The first time he meets Jason he puts up a fight, but ultimately gets bludgeoned with a club-sized wrench. He seems dead. We think he's dead. But he shows up again in the last act trying for some get-back and maybe to save the day. Alas, he loses an arm, then his life. 'Nuff respect, Ali. 'Nuff respect.


#3

Vera

This is the moment the entire marketing campaign for this movie was built around. The trailer prominently features Jason firing an arrow of some sort directly at the camera and, if I remember correctly, we cut away to a title card letting us know that this movie is indeed in 3D. In the actual film, as above, we actually see what's on the other end. It's poor Vera.


#2

Andy

Remember Debbie? Andy's the guy she was doing it with. After bustin' a nut, he wants a beer. Debbie heads to the shower while he goes to get his beer. Somehow, he has enough energy(and talent) to walk on his hands all the way to the fridge. Of course, he doesn't make it. An unimpressed Jason pretty much cuts him in half with a machete. 


#1

Rick

If you haven't figured it out, the goofier and sillier a kill is, the better. It doesn't get any goofier or sillier than this. Jason takes a hands on approach with Rick, literally. He squeezes the poor guy's (obviously-fake-even-in-1982) head until his eyeball shoots out of its socket, and yes, directly at the camera. This is easily one of the most iconic moments in franchise history.



7 comments:

  1. Vera's death was the best. Jason's shooting game is on point.

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  2. This is really making me realize just how many times this franchise used the "knife coming up from underneath" gimmick. I'm sure there's a better name for it, I have no idea what to call it.

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    1. That sounds like as good a name as any. And there's more of it to come!

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  3. I agree, Rick's death was the best.

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  4. These are all pretty gross except for the last one which made me laugh with that horrible eyeball coming out. It reminds me of an amusement park ride.

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