You know what day it is. Yup, it's Friday Eve. It's a day when all the world should be in a festive mood as they prepare for the wonder that is Friday. Adults will be up late planning fun family activities that their teens want no part of. Little children will lie in bed awake with anticipation, and...wait. I've gone off the rails.
What I meant to say is that the topic chosen by Wanderer at Wandering Through the Shelves for this week's Thursday Movie Picks is "Holiday Horror." No problem, I've got plenty of those. I thought about going with an all-Christmas theme, but that would inevitably lead me to talk about some movies with a not-so-jolly St. Nick that I've already suggested. Even worse for my delusion of cinematic superiority I might pick something YOU pick. I can't keep pulling off this super edgy 'cooler than thou because I watch crap you won't' vibe if I do that. Speaking of crap. Here are this week's picks.
Any of you who think April Fool's Day is a real holiday obviously haven't taught elementary school. And at the 3rd grade level, the jokes are just the best worst. Every year, I get told my shoe is untied about a thousand times before lunch. And those are the cleverest of the "pranks." Gotta love kids. By the time they get to high school, they might get too good at this sorta thing, like in the movie. Some poor sap gets disfigured by a prank gone wrong. A decade later, he shows up at the high school with an axe to grind. Literally.
True story: I haven't been to a Halloween party since I was barely in high school. It was fun, but nothing like the movies I watched back then (and now, who am I fooling). Ya' know, the ones with beauties, booze, and boobs everywhere, and everyone just yukking it up, having a grand time. Usually, they're in someone's house. Occasionally, it'll be in a hotel. Every now and again, as is the case in the movie, a group of idiots will decide to have their party in an abandoned funeral home and accidentally awaken an evil spirit. Fun times.
True story: I've never been to a St. Patrick's Day party, or parade, or even drank a green beer. That's what St. Patrick's Day is all about right? I know there's a whole story that's integral to Irish heritage and traditions, but I'm an American victim of commercialization, so green beer it is. It's a little more than that in the movie, though. The titular leprechaun wants to give himself a present for his 1,000th birthday. Yes, you read it right. Anyhoo, what he wants is to make a bride (read concubine) out of a descendant of one of his slaves. As you might expect, she's down with green beer and all, but marrying a murderous little person is a step too far.
I don't remember if I've seen Night of the Demons but that chick is fine-looking. I have seen Leprechaun 2 as it's just silly but fun.
ReplyDeleteIf it helps, B-movie queen Linnea Quigley is also in Night of the Demons. She takes a whole lipstick and shoves it through her own nipple. And that's before she goes completely off the rails.
DeleteIn what I'm sure will not be a surprise I have not seen these fine examples of the cinematic art! I have heard of all three and the hearing was enough to warn me away. With the third I never saw the original so the sequel wasn't even a consideration.
ReplyDeleteAstonishing even myself I was able to come up with three readily this week. I even thought at first I had a theme within the theme using Halloween but my last has a different holiday setting. I could have used the original Halloween but I've chosen it before but I'm still sort of amazed that I was able to have three at my fingertips!
Hellbent (2004)-Police tech Eddie and his group of gay friends are celebrating the holiday at the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival and wander off to the nearby woods to see the site of a recent murder where two lovers were decapitated with a sickle by a maniac. With the woods full of revelers they don’t think a thing about the bare-chested guy in the devil’s mask carrying a scythe who seems to be following them……but they should!!
Trick or Treat (1986)-Eddie Weinbauer (Marc Price) is a typical all-American teenager until he falls under the evil spell of ROCK MUSIC! Now he's obsessed with the recently deceased Heavy Metal superstar Sammi Curr who perished in an inferno of fire. As Halloween approaches Eddie is gifted with an unreleased demo of Sammi’s last album “Songs in the Key of Death” by his DJ friend Nuke (Kiss frontman Gene Simmons). He discovers by playing the demo backward he can summon Sammi’s malign spirit who instructs him on how to settle the score with the bullies who torment him leading to all hell breaking loose! On top of all that you get Ozzy Osbourne as rock-hating TV evangelist!!
Who Slew Auntie Roo? (1971)-Mrs. Forrest (Shelley Winters) is affectionately called Auntie Roo by the staff and kids of the nearby orphanage who see her as a kindly eccentric who throws a lavish Christmas party for them every year. However she’s really a deeply disturbed whack job who keeps her dead daughter in the attic nursery. At this year’s party Auntie Roo spies Katy (Chloe Franks) who reminds her of her late little girl and who she imprisons in the nursery. When nobody believes him it’s up to Katy’s brother Christopher (Mark Lester) to go head to head with the demented lady and bust his sister outta there! Shelley frequently chews the scenery but good in this reworking of Hansel & Gretel.
I'm scratching my head here, Joel. I haven't seen any of these, but they all seem like the kind of nuts that keep you away. After reading your synopsis of Hellbent, I said to myself, "Joel watched THIS?" Trick or Treat sounds like a must-see. I just can't imagine Ozzy being sober enough in the 80s to deliver coherent dialogue, and "Songs in the Key of Death" makes me wonder if Stevie Wonder knows about this movie. Who Slew Auntie Roo?, likewise, sounds cuckoo for Coco Puffs.
DeleteWell true enough these aren't my usual fare but there's an explanation for each.
DeleteI was getting together with a group of friends to prepare for a Halloween party and they wanted to set the mood while we decorated and put Hellbent on. I could hardly leave after promising to lend a hand so I ended up seeing this bloodbath. Who knew it would come in handy one day!! :-)
With Trick or Treat not only did it star Skippy from Family Ties but Siskel & Ebert gave it a qualified two thumbs up on their show as fun within the context of the genre. So curiosity got the better of me.
Auntie Roo falls into my filmography quest. Shelley Winters is one of the actresses whose body of work I'm trying to complete. OY some of the things I've sat through for her!!! Such cinematic gems as La Bomba, Tentacles, The Silence of the Hams and Poor Pretty Eddie! Geesh! But conversely I've seen some really good films-Larceny, Wives and Lovers, Take One False Step etc. that I might not have if not for her involvement so it's a trade-off. She could be an actress of great insight and depth but also a scenery chewing hambone. Anyway "Who Slew Auntie Roo?" falls somewhere in the middle....I even own it but only because it came in a twin pack with another one of her films-"What's the Matter with Helen?" where she costars with Debbie Reynolds and it's a much better film.
Oh, I figured there were some extenuating circumstances for these, lol. I remember you mentioning What's the Matter with Helen? before. I said I was going to watch it, but haven't got to it...yet.
DeleteCool picks! I haven't seen any of them yet, though 😅
ReplyDeleteThen I've done my job. Thanks!
DeleteI'm forever in awe of the sheer number of movies you've seen! I haven't seen any of these but I might just save Slaughter High for 1st April next year :)
ReplyDeleteHey, hey now. Movies might be too strong a word for these. :-)
DeleteI love that you went with very different holidays, except for Halloween and that we don’t get any days off for these. Obviously, I have not seen any of these but I remember Leprechaun coming to the theatres. My mom, who was 5ft 1inch would always say short people have issues....hahaaa.
ReplyDeleteOh, we definitely have issues (I'm 5'4"). Most of ours just aren't quite so pronounced, lol.
DeleteThe only one of these I've seen is Leprechaun 2. Those movies are so fun-bad. Though I admit they all kind of run together for me. I think I've mentioned wanting to Slaughter High on your blog before, but I still need to get to that.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I ducked out of the series after Leprechaun in the Hood. I know there are several after that, but yeah, they definitely run together.
DeleteWhy did we even have parties in the '80s? So many horror movies started with parties and ended with blood and slaughter. It's a wonder that we didn't all become traumatized by the very notion.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I've never had a green beer. Perhaps I was too traumatized by the idea of parties...
Fair enough, lol.
DeleteOh man! It's been awhile since I last seen the Leprechaun movie! I need to watch them all again! Great picks!
ReplyDeleteYou'll be a better man than me. I stopped after the third.
DeleteI'm so tempted to watch Leprechaun 2 haha.
ReplyDeleteOnly recommended for when you're in the mood for trash, lol.
Delete