Best Movies of 2011

Yesterday I gave you the bad news: what I think are the worst movies 2011 has to offer. Today, we look at the other side of the coin. Here, in my opinion, are...

The Best Movies of 2011

25. The Ides of March

Many of us are jaded enough to believe there are no heroes in politics, only villains. Never is this more true than in a presidential election year. Jobs are won and lost. Fame and infamy are gained. The direction of the nation is swayed. This is true whether we’re talking about the politicians themselves, the people who run and work for their campaigns or the journalists who cover them. The Ides of March drags us into the muck with fantastic results.

24. Kung Fu Panda 2

The follow-up maintains the original’s magic and expands enough to still feel fresh. It pulls the trick of making us feel like we know these characters and that their adventure is bigger because they’ve grown – not just because it’s a sequel.

23. Warrior

It’s been called just another Rocky clone. I disagree. There is that element to Warrior, but it’s much more. It’s about the painful relationships the three men share. This comes through even in its most Rocky-esque moments. Though one son assumes the Balboa role, the other is no Apollo Creed. He’s much more reluctant hero than villain. The point is to see how much the thrill of victory can be tainted by the agony of defeat.

22. Win Win

Win Win navigates complex issues without becoming complicated itself. Instead of pouring out every ounce of melodrama it can muster, it does most things in a matter-of-fact manner. Supporting players provide comedy and Mike’s family gives us cuteness while the story holds our interest. The key to it all is something I’ve already said: we feel for Kyle. We really care what happens to the kid.

21. Another Earth

Another Earth is sci-fi for people who aren’t into sci-fi. The entire film takes place here on this Earth. There are no invading intergalactic armies nor displays of futuristic technology. This is the character study of a troubled person and a darned good one.

20. Rango

Fortunately, weaknesses are few in Rango. It’s a wonderful sendup of westerns without alienating the audience at which its aiming. It moves smoothly from comedy to action and uses striking visuals effectively in both veins.

19. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil

On display is some seriously clever writing to keep this ruse going as long as it does. It also keeps us laughing in the process. That is, you’ll be laughing if you’re a slasher fan and/or can take a joke about our beloved genre. Oh, it helps to have a twisted sense of humor. I suppose a kid accidentally impaling himself on a spear isn’t funny to everyone. Meh…(shrugs shoulders)…I laughed and did so heartily.

18. Rise of the Planet of the Apes

When it’s all said and done, Rise… makes itself into a fun popcorn flick that somehow manages to be a little deeper. The visuals are often remarkable but the story gives us a bit more to hold on to. Normally, a prequel to a forty year old movie is a bad idea. Maybe this “was” a bad idea. However, it’s brilliantly executed. They’ve done the franchise proud.

17. The Artist

The Artist is rich in symbolism and technique. These elements give the picture the needed depth to stay with us beyond its runtime. The symbols snowball into a collection of things we miss from the films of yesteryear and of the power movies have over most of us. The technique reinforces the symbols by creating a magic all their own.

16. Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels of A Tribe Called Quest

For Tribe fans, and those of 90s hip hop, the nostalgia factor is off the charts. For younger viewers it gives insight into a legendary group they may not know much about even though many of the artists they currently listen to know plenty. For non-rap fans, it’s hard to say how much value this holds. Thankfully, Michael Rapaport does a nice job of making this a very human story of strained relationships.

15. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is indeed a spy movie through and through. However, it’s concerned with the drama of real people who are spies, not the stereotypical action heroes we’ve come to believe them all to be. The effort is placed on trying to figure out where the secret rooms are, who’s meeting there and what they’re saying, not in trying to dazzle us with our hero’s death defying feats.

14. We Need to Talk About Kevin

The potential for this story to spring to life right before us, as it too often has, is far scarier than the prospects of some boogeyman in a dingy, tattered get-up disemboweling all of our friends while cracking witty one-liners. The terror comes from the context. That said, it’s not a movie you’d be pressed to watch alone in the dark. The sinking feeling it gives us has nothing to do with what might be lurking about just beyond our field of vision. It comes more from what we can plainly see but may not be willing to believe.

13. Moneyball

Whether or not it gets all the particulars of the 2002 Major League Baseball season right isn’t important. What is important is that it symbolizes another triumph for the cyber generation. It’s another nail in the coffin of the 20th century.

12. The Descendants

Through it all, we bond with Matt and his girls. Our hearts tear for their situation and yearn for them to get some sort of peaceful closure. Even more so, we wish them some semblance of normalcy. We know the things they’re dealing with now will recede into the background of their lives, but we hope that the negative impact isn’t too great. We hope they’ll be okay.

11. The Help

Without question, the subject matter is touchy. Racism has not disappeared yet. This is a movie that will inspire strong feelings. As such, it’s a film that deserves to be seen. Even if you don’t like it, it gives us something to discuss and possibly learn from. It is flawed but poignant.

10. Contagion

The secret to the frights it gives is we can envision it really happening. At various points in the not-so-distant past many thought the events depicted here were already happening. This is a movie that plays into our collective germophobia, using it to draw us to the edge of our seats.

9. Margin Call

Essentially, it’s a film about the fate of its target audience. Like so many things, the strategies that will affect the 99% are begrudgingly agreed upon in boardrooms we’re not allowed to enter. This is one we get to peek into.

8. The Skin I Live In

To put it bluntly, if you’re not already a fan of Almodóvar’s work you may be in for the shock of your life. If you can get past that, you’ll find a terrifically twisted tale that’s uncomfortable in a good way.

7. I Saw the Devil

It may be one of the more brutally violent films you’ll ever see. Still, despite the seemingly gallons of blood spilled and dozens of blows to various heads with heavy blunt objects (pipe, fire extinguisher, etc), this is no simple gore-fest. It blends the genres of horror, thriller and action to create an unflinching and slyly complex revenge flick.

6. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Truthfully, it takes a while for our two main characters to actually meet one another. Until then, each is embroiled in their own fascinating drama filled with twists and turns. Mikael’s whodunit progresses not unlike many others, but it’s still well done and maintains suspense. Lisbeth’s life saga is brutal, yet compelling. The warning here is that there are some difficult scenes to sit through. After they meet, the twists keep coming and our intrigue is piqued.

5. Attack the Block

Before we get to the end, we have fun watching the chase and trying to figure out what the aliens actually want. Attack the Block is a tightly wound story, clocking in at less than 90 minutes. That said, it’s still a fantastic ride that brings us to the edge of our seats and keeps us there.

4. 13 Assassins

Director Takashi Miike is known for going over the top, often at a relentless pace. He usually offers us a string of delightfully disgusting visuals. 13 Assassins does this, but in much different manner than he normally goes about things. The storytelling is wonderfully patient for first two acts then completely goes for broke during a third act solely consisting of an extended battle scene.

3. Martha Marcy May Marlene

Where most movies would build towards a dramatic showdown and/or a daring escape, this movie is only interested in the possibility of the former and totally downplays the latter. In fact, escape is the first thing that happens and it’s never mentioned again. As a result, we get a movie that plays more like a slice-of-life than a dramatization, albeit a very dark slice. Like many such movies, the ending isn’t a climax, but a stopping point. It’s an intensely interesting one that opens up plenty of possibilities forcing us to confront the questions it raises without giving us any of the answers.

2. Drive

For some, the fact that all the action takes place late will be problematic. They’ll be frustrated by all non-verbal communication and general lack of adrenaline during the first part of the movie. The issue will be that these people have likely seen the trailers for Drive and happily hit the play button expecting something more along the lines of a Fast and Furious retread. They will be severely disappointed. The rest of us will be drawn in by the uncommonly quiet half of the film and will delight in the explosion of violence when it comes.

1. Tyrannosaur

We get to know these people, understand their fears and regrets. It all culminates in an ending that’s not at all what we’re expecting. It’s a bittersweet redemption tale that threatens to stretch our idea of ‘happily ever after’ completely out of shape. Arriving at the conclusion that it really is a happy ending warrants much debate, even within ourselves. That’s the final stroke of genius in a movie filled with them.

Honorable Mention:

Biutiful, Hugo, X-Men First Class, Crazy Stupid Love

Puss in Boots

Directed by Chris Miller.

2011. Rated PG, 90 minutes.
Cast:
Antonio Banderas

Zach Galifianakis
Salma Hayek
Billy Bob Thornton
Amy Sedaris
Constance Marie
Guillermo del Toro
Tom McGrath
Tom Wheeler

Already wanted for robbing to Bank of San Ricardo, Puss in Boots (Banderas) decides to steal the legendary magic beans. Planting them will grow the giant beanstalk leading to the land of giants. Once there, he hopes to steal the goose that lays the golden eggs. Getting the beans isn’t going to be easy because they’re possessed by the murderous outlaw couple Jack (Thornton) and Jill (Sedaris). Soon, Puss in not alone in his quest. He runs into an old friend that once betrayed him. The friend also wants the magic beans and has a plan to get them. Begging forgiveness and a chance to make things right between them, he enlists Puss to help him. This friend is none other than Humpty Alexander Dumpty (Galifianakis).

Like the Shrek franchise its spun from, Puss in Boots takes many well-worn fairy tales and breathes new life into them by reimagining the characters closer to our reality, yet still maintaining much of the wonder of their capabilities and surroundings. For instance, Jack and Jill haven’t only evolved into murderous outlaws, they’re also a couple arguing about whether or not to have a baby. PiB isn’t the outright deconstruction of fairy tales that Shrek is, but definitely views them through a wonderfully skewed prism.

Other genres are dragged into the fray and enhance the movie a bit more. Starting with her name and carrying through her actions our hero’s love interest, Kitty Softpaws (Hayek) is downright Bond girl-esque. There’s also nods to westerns, dance movies and of course, Zorro whom Banderas not so coincidentally portrayed twice for the big screen.

Speaking of Banderas, he is once again perfect as the sword fighting, milk drinking, lady loving cat. The same suaveness he brings to his live-action roles is translated in his voice-work. The rest of the characters were also well-voiced without overdoing it. Even Galifianakis, who has the showiest role, manages to keep it just restrained enough to not come off as over-exuberant.

More than anything, what helps PiB is that it has a freshness the last couple Shrek don’t. It’s not burdened by carrying on the whole of Shrek’s life and his ever-expanding family, nor carrying the weight of a franchise. It does enough of its own thing to prove more than worthy of becoming a separate entity.

MY SCORE: 7/10

Mr. Popper's Penguins

Directed by Mark Waters.

2011. Rated PG, 94 minutes.
Cast:
Jim Carrey
Carla Gugino
Angela Lansbury
Clark Gregg
Ophelia Lovibond
Madeline Carroll
Maxwell Perry Cotton
Jeffrey Tambor
David Krumholtz
Philip Baker Hall
William Charles Mitchell
Dominic Chianese

Mr. Popper (Carrey) grew up mostly without his father. His dad was a globetrotting scientist who spent far more time abroad than with his little boy. Unsurprisingly, Popper isn’t too broken up when he learns his old man has died while off in Antarctica. However, Poppa Popper did leave his son something: a pack of penguins. There are six of them, to be exact. Junior fitting them into his life is a bit tricky. He has an ex-wife (Gugino) he still has a thing for, and two kids he gets every other weekend. He is also a high-octane, very successful real estate buyer. It’s a job that demands lots of time. So do the penguins. Popper trying to juggle the birds, his job, and his family ensues. Oh, he also tries to win back his ex and buy legendary restaurant Tavern on the Green from Ms. Van Gundy (Lansbury), its very grumpy owner.

If you guessed this is all pretty innocuous stuff, you guessed right. The nearly endless stream of poop jokes is as risqué as it gets. Other than that, we get the normal stuff about a dad not quite understanding his kids and Popper bonding with both, the children and the penguins. Yes, there are lessons to be learned. In addition, Carrey gives us a bit of the physical humor he’s known for. Splice in some cgi of the penguins performing some amazing feats and we get one big ball of cuteness.

Of course, there has to be a villain. In this case, one is manufactured out of the guy who wants to take the penguins to the zoo (Gregg). The three old guys Popper works for aren’t quite evil, but are certainly on the negative side of the ledger. In none of their cases do we really hate them, therefore the movie doesn’t generate sufficient tension. It moseys along sweetly, but doesn’t thrill us no matter what stunts the birds pull off. Cruella De Ville would’ve been a welcome addition to the cast of characters, a marked improvement over the ultra-bland zoo guy.

As family friendly time passers go, you could do worse than Mr. Popper’s Penguins. It gives us enough laughs not to be a drag. It also moves quickly enough, careful not to overstay its welcome. It clocks in a little over 90 minutes. On the other hand, it doesn’t do anything unexpected. MPP is content to fit snugly within the mold of the many kiddie comedies we’ve seen before. It gives us no more or less than we expect.

Tower Heist

Attack the Block

Directed by Joe Cornish.

2011. Rated R, 88 minutes.
Cast:
John Boyega
Jodie Whittaker
Alex Esmail
Leeon Jones
Luke Treadaway
Franz Drameh
Jumayne Hunter
Nick Frost
Danielle Vitalis
Paige Meade
Sammy Williams
Michael Ajao

When an alien crash-landing interrupts their mugging, Moses (Boyega) and his crew don’t take too kindly to the situation. After a short chase and battle, they kill the little space creature and keep its body as a trophy. Lo and behold, lots more aliens start landing all over the neighborhood. Of course, these things are a whole lot bigger, meaner and seem to be after our group of juvenile delinquents. Alien monsters chasing the crew all over “The Block” ensues.

There are other problems afoot. Sam (Whittaker), the lady they mugged, has reported the incident to the police. Yes, she happens to live in the same building as the boys. After a narrow escape from the creatures, they accidentally ram the police van they’re driving into Hi-Hatz’s (Hunter) car. He’s the drug dealer/aspiring rapper they work for and aspire to be like. None too pleased, now he’s out to kill them as well. Whatever are the boys going to do? With Sam in tow through some unforeseen circumstances, they run, hide, get tracked down, fight a few of the monsters and run again.

All of this has to come to a head at some point. When it does is when we realize that not only are we rooting for a group of wayward teens, but we have real sympathy for Moses, leader of the pack. Throughout, he maintains a very serious demeanor even as sarcasm and snarkiness swirl about. Life and death situations are met head-on. There is not time for games, even if his friends aren’t nearly as steady. Through a subtle yet remarkable transformation, Moses becomes one of recent cinema’s most unlikely heroes.

Before we get to the end, we have fun watching the chase and trying to figure out what the aliens actually want. We laugh at the younger kids Probs (Williams) and Mayhem (Ajao), so desperate to be involved. We also laugh at the stoner humor provided by Ron (Frost) and Brewis (Treadaway). We even have cause to cringe when the aliens manage to get their paws on someone. It’s not a pretty sight. Those of us old enough to remember will also notice a few references to other movies scattered about. Most notably, there’s a big homage to the original Die Hard. All of this keeps us thoroughly entertained.

Attack the Block is a tightly wound story, clocking in at less than 90 minutes. The tradeoff is we don’t get to know much about anyone’s background. We know that, like lots of other teenagers they lie to get out of the house, but that’s about it. Aside from what we learn about Moses, it’s absent the character development that could’ve elevated this from very good to great. We’re not really let in on what the authorities might know about all of this, either. They seem only concerned with capturing the teenaged criminals despite all that’s clearly visible and that someone must’ve reported. That said, it’s still a fantastic ride that brings us to the edge of our seats and keeps us there.

Colombiana

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work

Directed by Ricki Stern and Anne Sundberg.

2011. Rated R, 84 minutes.
Cast:
Joan Rivers
Jocelyn Pickett
Billy Sammeth
Melissa Rivers
Kathy Griffin
Don Rickles

Hip-hop icon Jay-Z once rapped “I’d rather die enormous than live dormant.” This is the mantra Joan Rivers seems to live by. She loves riding in limousines, wearing expensive things, living in a glamorous home and having people for whatever she needs. She works extremely hard to afford this lifestyle. She remarks several times how she could retire and live more modestly, but refuses to do so. This is the surface of Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work. Her tireless efforts to maintain and grow her brand make up our action scenes. These are made all the more amazing by the fact we’re watching a 75 year old woman with more energy and drive that most people who’ve never known a world in which she was not a celebrity.

The dramatic scenes are made up of finding out where that drive comes from. Like the aforementioned Jay-Z, there is much bravado to Ms. Rivers. She fully maxes out the tough, old biddy persona. Publicly, there is nothing that can’t be handled with a sharp, expletive laced tirade. Away from the stage and glare of TV lights, we get to see the cracks in her armor. It turns out, Joan is hopelessly insecure. This insecurity propels her far more than her love of excess, though the two traits complement each other quite well. For our purposes, these unguarded moments make for compelling drama. They fill in the blanks created by the caricature she’s presented to us for decades.

Along the way, we meet many different facets of the legendary comedienne. After all, the cameras followed her around for a year. We see her as a mother, grandmother, humanitarian, playwright, actress, and of course, businesswoman. We get bits and pieces of many performances, as well. She works everything from a rinky-dink, hole in the wall club in Queens to 4,000 seat theaters in Vegas with the same passion.

We also get plenty of clips from the past. All of it is envelope pushing stuff. We hear her say some things that she acknowledges would be tame today, but were downright racy at the time. We see how these things paved the way for today’s comediennes, including herself and her own evolving act in which she talks freely about why she likes anal sex. Uptight, she is not.

There are some things glossed over. Most noticeable is the issue of her multiple plastic surgeries. She speaks briefly about them, acknowledging she went from being the poster-child of the nip/tuck industry to the butt of the jokes about it. She laments facing the jokes head-on when she agrees to be the guest of honor on a Comedy Central roast. However, she never really opens up about the whens and whys of her going under the knife. Just from reading this review we can get an inkling of her reasons. Still, it would’ve been nice to hear her articulate them.

Even without a great revelation about what she’s done to her face, “A Piece of Work” is a fascinating watch. We learn things about her we may not have know. We also get a glimpse inside the life of a really hard working woman. Best of all, this is accomplished without the heavy-handed slant toward creating conflict that hers and most reality TV shows suffers from. In the end, it’s probably not enough to turn Joan haters into Joan fans. However, it should give us newfound appreciation for all the things she’s gone through and accomplished.

Conan the Barbarian

Directed by Marcus Nispel.

2011. Rated R, 113 minutes.
Cast:
Jason Momoa
Rachel Nichols
Stephen Lang
Rose McGowan
Saïd Taghmaoui
Leo Howard
Ron Perlman
Bob Sapp

The people involved in making the 2011 version of Conan the Barbarian would like you to know that it has absolutely nothing to do with the 1982 movie which helped Arnold Schwarzenegger become a star. With that in mind, I’ll not mention “The Governator” or that film again. This movie is based more directly on the works of Robert E. Howard who created the character about 80 years ago. If ever there were a movie strictly about swords and sorcery, this is it. Both are responsible for all manner of death and/or dismemberment.

Well, there is a plot cobbled together. It actually starts with the bad guy, Khalar Zym (Lang). His wife had been killed some time ago, I think I heard a thousand years. Hmph. Now, with the help of his sorceress daughter Marique, played by a barely recognizable Rose McGowan, he’s trying to find the one woman of pure Archerion blood so he can use her body to resurrect his bride. Together, they will rule the world! Muwahahahahaahaha! Ahem, sorry. Anyhoo, this twisted father and daughter team don’t just look for the pure blooded girl, they go from village to village killing or enslaving everyon that isn’t who they’re looking for. As fate would have it, they come upon little Conan’s village (the character is played by Howard as a child). They make the tiny warrior watch his father die (Perlman handles the dying, here), then they burn the place to the ground killing the rest of our hero’s people. Fast forward about a decade. The evil dad and his evil-er female spawn are still searching for that special someone and Conan is out for revenge.

Like any other flick, Conan has its strengths and weaknesses. It’s strength is obviously the non-stop bloody violence. Body parts are hacked off or literally beaten to a pulp with great regularity. They fly all over the place, too. After it was over, I had to sweep up some severed heads, arms and legs, several each. I’m having new carpet put in this week, the blood soaked right through.

On the weak side is everything else. For starters, there is no character development. Even as simplistic as the plot is, the story-telling is muddled. The dialogue is a cheesy form of Olde English and almost all of the acting is over the top. Despite a love scene that says otherwise, there is little chemistry between Conan and “it girl” Tamara (Nichols). Finally, for some reason they wasted money and runtime by having none other than Morgan Freeman narrate. Don’t get me wrong, if you need a narrator for your movie, Freeman is an outstanding choice. Just having him read the labels on cereal boxes will probably sound good. The problem is after he gives a long spiel explaining something, we’re given a scene that shows us the exact same thing. Pick one.

With regards to picking, that’s what you will have to do before seeing this. You have to decide, if you don’t know already, what floats your boat. Long review short: Conan is one long gory action scene with a pause for topless wenches (that’s in the credits), another pause for sex and a few brief pauses for talking…er…yelling and grunting. The story is told in a way that makes me believe my 12 year old nephew worked closely with the director. Is it fun to sit through? If you’re looking for wall-to-wall action, then the answer is yes. Is there anything at all here that will leave a lasting impression? No.

Monte Carlo

Directed by Thomas Bezucha.

2011. Rated PG, 108 minutes.
Cast:
Selena Gomez
Leighton Meester
Katie Cassidy
Juliette Dumouchel
Pierre Boulanger
Cory Monteith
Andie MacDowell
Luke Bracey
Catherine Tate

Recently, a waitress bearing a strong resemblance to Oprah Winfrey became a trending topic on the internet. Why? It’s simple. We’re intrigued by the ideat that somewhere out there is a person who looks exactly like us. What would happen if we ever met that person, or were to be so mistaken for them that others actually thrust us into that person’s station in life. These fascinations have been the impetus for countless movies across a number of genres. 2011 gave us two such movies: the kinda, sorta historical The Devil’s Double for action fans and Monte Carlo, a romantic comedy for the Disney crowd.

Speaking of Disney, our protagonist comes straight from the company’s assembly line of young starlets. Her name is Grace and she is played by Selena Gomez, star of the network’s The Wizards of Waverly Place. She just graduated from high school and on her way to Paris, where she’s dreamed of going ever since she can remember. Her best friend Emma (Cassidy) will gladfully accompany her. Not thinking either of them to be too responsible, Grace’s mom and stepdad have forced stepsister Meg (Meester) to go with them, even though the two don’t get along. Once there, the trio manages to get separated from the world’s worst tour guide. Suddenly, it’s discovered that Grace looks exactly like Cordelia Winthrop Scott a spoiled, ungrateful heiress also played by Gomez (duh). One thing leads to another and the girls soon find themselves living it up in Monte Carlo.

Oh, there’s boys. Each girl meets a handsome, charming guy. One of our young ladies already has a beau back home in Texas that she sorta broke up with. Make no mistake, he will suddenly pop up in Paris, and eventually in Monte Carlo, to reclaim his gal. It’s exactly that kind of movie. By that, I mean it wants nothing more that to be cute and grandly romantic despite not always making sense. It shamelessly panders to its target audience which will like it well enough. However, with that in mind there is nothing here to suggest it had to be released to multiplexes around the globe. This would’ve been right at home and likely more widely seen as a Sunday night TV movie on Disney Channel. Disney didn’t actually make this movie but they definitely could’ve. After all, not only is it just another totally bland rom-com, it never once comes close to threatening the boundaries of its PG rating.

MY SCORE: 4.5/10

Real Steel

Directed by Shawn Levy.

2011. Rated PG-13, 127 minutes.
Cast:
Hugh Jackman
Dakota Goyo
Evangeline Lilly
Anthony Mackie
Kevin Durand
Hope Davis
James Rebhorn
Karl Yune
Olga Fonda

Charlie (Jackman) is a former prize-fighter who now makes his living in the world of robot boxing. Making a living is overstating things. Generally, he ducks the people he owes money to after whatever robot he’s picked off the scrap heap gets destroyed in a match. Along comes news that an ex-girlfriend, and mother of his child has passed away, leaving behind Max (Goyo), the son he’s abandoned. The kid’s wealthy aunt Debra (Davis) wants custody but needs Charlie to sign over his parental rights. Never one to miss an opportunity, Charlie brokers a deal with Deb’s husband Marvin (Rebhorn) to sell them his rights for a load of cash. One strange caveat to the deal: in order to keep Debra in the dark about the exchange of money, Charlie has to keep Max for a few weeks while his rich soon-to-be guardians are out of the country.

Once Max actually appears we know precisely how it will play out between him and his deadbeat dad. Ditto for Charlie and Bailey (Lilly) and their very PG love affair. The only possible surprise isn’t one if you’ve seen the trailer. It involves Atom, a seemingly inferior fighting robot with a very unique feature. Suffice it to say this part of the story is yet another re-working of Rocky. It comes complete with a physically superior champion and his villainous handlers.

If it isn’t obvious, there is pretty much no effort put into the plot. It’s completely perfunctory, taking no risks, holding no surprises nor posing any challenges. In a brief moment or two of artistic integrity, the filmmakers threaten to throw one wrinkle into things. We get a couple hints that there is more to Atom than meets the eye. Yes, the reference is intended. Anyhoo, they totally drop the ball on that idea to remain in the safety zone, give us more of the cheese borrowed from other cheesy flicks. In short, they want you to like this movie even though you’ve likely seen it quite a few times before.

Predictability be damned, there is only one real question to be answered: is Real Steel fun to watch. The answer is yes, in its own corny way. It moves at a brisk pace despite an unnecessarily bloated runtime of over two hours. It plays cute with the father/son angle and the final act contains lots more of the ‘bot fighting people likely come for. Jackman gives us Wolverine-lite, a less surly than the mutant and sans cigar. It’s a character we know and either somewhat like or somewhat dislike. The same can be said of Max and every other character in the film. By the way, Max is more of an adult than any of the other characters, too. Even my nine year old picked up on that. Max’s maturity aside, all of these people are just bland caricatures. They’re here to fill in the portions between fights not be too much of a distraction from them. The end result is an overwhelmingly OK movie that young boys will love watching with their dads. Boys of my age will wonder how it is possible that this isn’t called Rock’em Sock’em Robots.

MY SCORE: 5/10

Paul

Directed by Greg Mottola.

2011. Rated R, 104 minutes.
Cast:
Simon Pegg
Nick Frost
Seth Rogen
Kristen Wiig
Jeffrey Tambor
Jane Lynch
Jason Bateman
Sigourney Weaver
Bill Hader
Blythe Danner
John Carroll Lynch

The writer Graeme Willy (Frost) and his trusty cohort Clive Gollings (Pegg) are a couple of sci-fi geeks from the UK, in the United States to attend Comic-Con, an annual convention for the comic book industry. Afterwards, they tour some of the locations where famous UFO landings have allegedly taken place, like Area 51 and Roswell, New Mexico. Along the way, as luck would have it, they meet Paul (Rogen). Paul is the classic little green man with an enormous head alien. He enlists our less than dynamic duo to help him get home. All the while, the trio is being chased by man in black, Agent Zoil (Bateman). Zoil maintains almost constant contact with “The Big Guy”, whom we find out right away is actually a woman. What she actually looks like isn’t revealed until the end, so I won’t spoil it.

Eventually, the plot becomes reminiscent of E. T. This is fitting given that Pegg and Frost wrote the screenplay. Like their movies Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead before it, we’re treated to a steady stream of references to other movies. They’re done far more skillfully than in any of the “____ movies.” You know the ones: Scary, Date, etc. These references are weaved seamlessly into the tapestry of a story that stands on its own. We can actually enjoy the story we’re watching and enjoy the allusions. By the way, there are enough of them that you’ll probably miss a few, here and there.

References to other movies aren’t the only things that make us laugh. The way relationships are established and carried out are both funny and sweet. Most notably, the contentious nature of things between Graeme and Paul gets the most giggles. As stated by Paul, the two are characters that should be best friends but seem to be missing a connection. Even more of an edge is added when you factor in the lingering question of Graeme’s sexuality. Because of that question, the way he behaves in regards to others give us cause to pause.

In the title role, Seth Rogen acquits himself very well. True, Paul behaves much like most of Rogen’s characters but he’s easier to take when personifying another species. However, there could’ve been more to him. How did he get to be the foul-mouthed, cigarette smoking wise guy we know him to be?

Paul is a fun ride, overall. There are some stretches where it drags a bit. Occasionally, it gets too busy referencing other movies that it doesn’t quite work. Aside from the aforementioned stars, Jason Bateman was also very good as the agent tracking them down. Things are fairly predictable, but we’re not here for mystery. It wants you to laugh and possibly geek out with them on all the allusions you recognize. It does that.

MY SCORE: 7/10

The Smurfs

Directed by Raja Gosnell.

2011. Rated PG, 103 minutes.
Cast:
Hank Azaria
Neil Patrick Harris
Jonathan Winters
George Lopez
Katy Perry
Jayma Mays
Sofia Vergara
Fred Armisen
Anton Yelchin
Kenan Thompson
Jeff Foxworthy
Tim Gunn

There was a time when “The Smurfs” were a part of my Saturday morning routine. This not only included the show, but also Smurfberry Crunch cereal whenever I could get it. Watching Papa Smurf, Smurfette and the other 99 smurfs foil the evil Gargamel week after week was wholesome cheesy 80s fun. If, back then, a movie based on that show and including real-live people were to come out I would’ve been smurfed to see it. I would’ve saved up the twenty bucks to get me and my siblings each a ticket. Wow, $20 for four of us. Remember those days? Anyhoo, we would’ve been first in the smurfing line the day it opened. Now, better than a quarter century later and having seen numerous craptacular movies based on old TV shows, I’m not so smurfed. Regardless, here I am losing to curiosity and fatherhood once again. Of course my daughter wanted to see this. What? I can’t take all the smurfing blame.

As usual, Papa Smurf (Winters) and his clan of little blue people take on the smurf obsessed Gargamel (Azaria). What’s different is the setting. On the show, nearly every episode took place entirely in the area just big enough to include both Smurf Village and Gargamel’s castle. The movie starts us there but very quickly a half-dozen smurfs, Gargamel and his equally evil cat Azriel wind up in New York City through a bit of hocus pocus. Our heroes spend the rest of the movie trying to find whatever magic is necessary to get back home and avoid Gargamel.

While in the Big Apple, Papa and crew wind up crashing at the apartment of a young married couple, Patrick (Harris) and his pregnant wife Grace (Mays). He’s a career driven ad exec smurfing for his relentless boss Odile (Vergara). She seems to mostly stay at home, talking to the baby in her belly. They have two purposes for being in the movie. First, they provide the smurfs with a place to stay and play “Guitar Hero.” More importantly, they will learn an important lesson when our adventure is over.

The Smurfs is one of those movies that doesn’t do anything smurfily bad nor anything esmurfily good, either. It just drones on pretty blandly. Clumsy Smurf does something clumsy and puts the others in danger. They try to rescue him, narrowly escaping Gargamel who then has an aside with the cat and concocts his next plan. Rinse, repeat. In that respect it’s not much different than the old cartoon. That’s probably as good as we can hope for.

If there is one thing that rises above the level of mediocre, it’s the performance of Hank Azaria as Gargamel. He is absolutely smurfect. Not only does he present us with exactly what we thought a live-action version of the villain would be but he’s clearly having a blast at the same time. On the flipside, I was disappointed with George Lopez’s Grouchy Smurf. It’s not necessarily his fault, but the character feels the least true to what they were on the show. That Grouchy didn’t say much and started almost all of his very short sentences with “I hate…” This version talks constantly and is somewhat a grouch, but in a way much more reminiscent of the actor’s character from his own sitcom.

I have to admit, The Smurfs is far better than I thought it would be. Thankfully, it doesn’t induce a pain similar to being repeatedly kicked in the groin like Yogi Bear. It’s still not really a “good” movie. It’s merely a pleasant, if unremarkable time-passer that manages to maintain nostalgia and cuteness. This will likely not be the case going forward. For proof, see the Alvin and the Chipmunks and Transformers franchises. Therefore I hope, probably in vain, that the powers that be don’t shove a smurfing sequel down our smurfing throats. This one is watchable, but I get the feeling I’m all smurfed out.

Zookeeper

Directed by Frank Coraci.

2011. Rated PG, 102 minutes.
Cast:
Kevin James
Rosario Dawson
Leslie Bibb
Ken Jeong
Donnie Wahlberg
Joe Rogan
Sylvester Stallone
Nick Nolte
Adam Sandler
Cher
Judd Apatow
Jon Favreau
Maya Rudolph
Faizon Love

Five years after being dumped by Stephanie (Bibb), the girl he planned on marrying, Griffin (James) still pines for her. When she pops up at his brother’s engagement party, he completely freaks out and desperately tries thinking up ways to get her back. Just so you understand what’s going on here, let’s explain a bit more. Stephanie left Griffin largely due t o the fact that he is indeed just a zookeeper, hence the title. She’s quite high maintenance and is looking for someone to finance the life she wants to lead. He also has an attractive co-worker named Kate (Dawson) whom he’s never thought of in “that way.” Kate’s obviously a more genuine person than Stephanie. So far we’re in pretty familiar rom-com territory and you can probably already figure out how this will end. Trust me, there are no surprises at all.

If you’ve seen any other romantic comedies then you know that our would be Romeo has friends that give him bad advice on how to win Stephanie’s heart. If you’ve seen the trailer then you’ve already guessed the only thing that makes this different from most movies of its kind. The friends are actually the animals at the zoo. Yes, they talk.

All comedies with talking animals can’t be terrible, can they? Let’s give this one a chance. After all, it can’t be that bad if George Clooney decided to lend his voice to it. Oh wait, that’s not Clooney. That’s Sly Stallone as Joe the Lion. That monkey is obviously Adam Sandler. Well, no need in watching the rest of this. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy for me. My youngest daughter has wanted to see this for months. I contemplate jumping up and kicking hole in the screen, then explaining that I saw a bug. That’s too costly. Hey, I think I just heard Cher…and Faizon Love…and Nick Nolte? Yup, that’s Nolte. My daughter chuckles. I’m screwed.

Resigned to my fate, I wade through the muck. Like I said, everything that happens plot-wise is telegraphed from the last thirty rom-coms you watched. There is the occasional laugh. The scene involving Griffin, Bernie the gorilla (Nolte) and a trip to T. G. I. Friday’s is the most amusing scene. Even that’s only worth a few snickers. At least Rosario Dawson is always nice to look at. Still, ogling her whenever she’s on the screen isn’t nearly enough to save this dreck. Skip it if you can. If not, you have my condolences.

MY SCORE: 2.5/10

Crazy, Stupid, Love

Directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa.

2011. Rated PG-13, 118 minutes.
Cast:
Steve Carell
Julianne Moore
Ryan Gosling
Emma Stone
Analeigh Tipton
Jonah Bobo
Marisa Tomei
John Carroll Lynch
Kevin Bacon
Liza Lapira
Josh Groban

Cal’s (Carell) life is sent spiraling out of control practically the moment we met him. Emily (Moore), his wife of 25 years abruptly informs him over dinner that she wants a divorce. With that, he packs up, moves into an apartment and tries to get on with his life. By get on, I mean spend nights at the local bar griping about his failed marriage. While there, he meets Jacob (Gosling), the local ladies man. Jacob takes pity on our hero and wants to help out by imparting his carnal knowledge upon Cal. Meanwhile, Cal’s 13 year old son Robbie (Bobo) is having his own love problems. Robbie is in love with Jessica (Tipton), his 17 year old baby-sitter. Aside from the obvious age difference there is another issue. Unbeknownst to either guy, Jessica has a crush on Cal. Finally, there’s Hannah (Stone) who’s studying for the bar exam. She’s in a serious relationship with Richard (Groban), but appears to be settling, much to the chagrin of her pal Liz (Lapira). A bunch of people pursuing love, or sex, while simultaneously wondering if it’s even worth the effort ensues.

Our plot moves along nicely, but in a fairly straight forward manner, for most of its runtime. However, things pick up towards the end with a fabulous twist. It’s the type of thing you don’t see coming, at least I didn’t, but once it happens you’ll wonder how you didn’t. Best of all, it absolutely works. It’s not some M. Night Shamalamadingdong idiotic turn of events flying in from very deep left field. The movie doesn’t end with this occurrence, either. Instead, it crystallizes things for the people involved.

The common theme running through Crazy, Stupid, Love is people romanticizing the person they desire so much as to deify them. With that in mind, it’s easy to see why it’s so painful for the jilted parties. However, this is no mopey affair. Like most of us, these people do ridiculous things while dealing with their emotions. It’s a ridiculousness we can relate to. We’ve been there. Maybe, we’re there now. At the very least, we’ve known a few people who are, or have been there. We laugh because we see our own silliness in the people on the screen.

At the end of the day, CSL is a romantic comedy. It actually does go through many of the machinations of other rom-coms. However, the numbers aren’t quite as visible here as they are in many of it’s kind. It’s well crafted, all the way around. We get wonderful performances across the board. The scene-stealers here are Bobo as Robbie and Marisa Tomei in a very interesting and hilarious role. It also helps that the ending is a bit ambiguous. When the credits roll nothing has definitively happened to say for sure whether it’s a happy ending or not. We can guess either way we like. Still, we cannot say for certain how things will turn out, much like our own lives.

Hobo with a Shotgun

Directed by Jason Eisener.

2011. Not Rated, 86 minutes.
Cast:
Rutger Hauer
Molly Dunsworth
Brian Downey
Gregory Smith
Nick Bateman
Pasha Ebrahimi
Robb Wells
Timothy Dunn

This is for gore-freaks. Yeah, I’ll start there. After all, that’s where the movie starts. Almost no time is wasted before we get the first decapitation and subsequent geyser of blood splattering the screen. A damp cloth clears it nicely. Keep it handy, along with a poncho to wear over your clothing. That stuff is tough to get out of cotton. Throughout Hobo with a Shotgun we’re treated to all sorts of messy deaths and dismemberments. All of it is rendered in glorious, but not seen in quite some time, Technicolor. At least that’s what the opening credits say.

Technicolor is an appropriate choice for this movie. Everything about it feels like it’s from a bygone era. This includes the film’s star, Rutger Hauer. True, this is a more weathered version but he seems to have pulled this from the same pile of scripts he regularly drew from back in the 1980s. I mean that in a literal sense. The movie appears to be set back then, but it’s not something we’re told. The one possible exception is the guy that films bum fights, an internet era thing. However, even that guy uses VHS tapes and an old school camcorder.

What we are told is the town where our hobo (Hauer) finds himself is a very bad place. If you saw Sin City, think that and multiply it a few times. Local gangster The Drake (Downey) runs thins along with the two goons he calls his sons. The Drake starts things off by cutting his own brother’s head off in broad daylight and in public where he makes dozens of bystanders watch. Why? Mostly just so you know what kind of movie you’re getting into. Soon enough, the hobo is at odds with the bad guys over Abby (Dunsworth), the prostitute he’s taken a shine to in a fatherly sort of way. With that, he acquires a shotgun from the town pawn shop while stopping a robbery attempt. He then sets out trying to clean up the streets “one shell at a time.”

From beginning to end “Hobo” is a smorgasbord of ridiculousness. The story itself is rather simple. To say the acting is over the top is a massive understatement. Aside from Hauer’s relative subtlety, everyone is in full-ham mode. It helps they’re spouting lines ranging from hilariously bad to cringe inducing. To their credit, they say them with all the gusto they could possibly muster. Most important to this production though is the human body. It is destroyed and/or mutilated repeatedly in extremely graphic fashion. This is where it will either grab you or lose you. I can see plenty of people giving up after ten or twenty minutes. If we’re being honest, it’s disgusting. For us twisted folks who eagerly devour Saw movies, it’s so bad it’s awesome!

MY SCORE: -10/10