The Fate of the Furious

Thursday Movie Picks: Movies about Music/Making Music/Musicians

Furious 7

Pointless List: Greatest Rappers Turned Actors

Yesterday, we talked about the movie depicted above, New Jack City. That means it's a perfect time to speak about just how far rappers have come on the big (and small) screen. New Jack was one of the first movies to feature a rapper in a prominent role that wasn't him/herself. In the time since, they've become a persistent, if not always consistent, part of Hollywood. For me, these are the best actors of all time...who started as emcees.

10. Eve

Best Movie Performance: as Terri in The Barbershop franchise

The self-proclaimed “pit bull in a skirt” proved she could hang with the fellas with two really good performances in the Barbershop movies. She parlayed that into a fairly successful sitcom, the simply titled Eve. From there, she ventured into more dramatic fare and was widely praised for work in the unsettling Kevin Bacon vehicle The Woodsman. Since then she's done some TV and small indie films. I hope she gets better acting opportunities because I think she really is a talented actress.

9. Ludacris

Best Movie Performance: as Skinny Black in Hustle & Flow

It's probably a little hypocritical of me to put a guy on the list whose best performance is playing a rapper. But he was genuinely good as Skinny Black in Hustle & Flow.  He was also solid in Best Pic Winner Crash. The real reason he's here, though, is because he has carved out a very nice career for himself, including as a vital member of the ensemble for the Fast and Furious franchise.

8. Ice-T

Best Movie Performance: as Jack Mason in Surviving the Game

Ice seems to have been around forever. He was an unknown rapper who landed a part playing himself, but only rapping not speaking, in 1984’s Breakin’ (and it’s sequel). He had some musical success locally in LA but it was still a few years until he had a national hit. It was a few more years until he got back onto the big screen. This time, he had a major role in 1991’s New Jack City. He gets lots of points for being a pioneer in this Hip Hop to Hollywood game. Even though, I can’t recall ever thinking he was a really good actor, he’s been reliable and perhaps more importantly he had a period where he was really bankable. His early movies made money. Whenever he guest-starred on TV’s New York Undercover the ratings shot through the roof. He's since become a solid performer in smaller roles and has settled in as a regular on Law & Order: SVU.

7. LL Cool J

Best Movie Performance: as God in In Too Deep

Like Ice-T, LL has been at this acting thing for quite a while now. In fact, the two share a really similar career arc. LL started with a cameo as himself way back when in 1985’s hood classic Krush Groove He would do the same the following year in the Goldie Hawn football movie Wildcats. He was one of the first rappers to star in his own sitcom, In the House, which had a solid 5 year run. His turn as a big time gangsta who called himself God opposite Omar Epps in In Too Deep is perfect. This is especially praise-worthy since LL’s always been more of a lover than a bad guy. He has charm, charisma and a presence few can match and none can deny. None other than famed film critic Roger Ebert has commended him on this. Honestly though, if he had, or starts, picking better movie projects he’d be near the top of this list.

6. Ice Cube

Best Movie Performance: as Doughboy in Boyz N the Hood

Honestly, since his winning debut in Boyz N the Hood, Cube hasn't been anywhere near as good. However, that hasn't stopped him from becoming one of Hollywood’s most bankable stars. With rare exceptions, his movies make money…lots of money. He’s simply a force to be reckoned with at the box office. As a rapper, he helped create gangsta-rap and has been involved with arguably three of the best albums the genre has ever seen, Straight Outta Compton as a member of NWA and Amerikkka’s Most Wanted and Death Certificate as a solo artist. Therefore, it feels kind of strange to say that he’s one of the most profitable comedic actors in the world, but it’s true. As proof, he’s the face of three highly lucrative comedy movie franchises: Friday, Barbershop, and Are We There/Done Yet?. That doesn't even count him having a major role in the Jump Street movies. Earlier this year, his buddy cop movie Ride Along, co-starring Kevin Hart, was a huge financial success. Love his movies or hate them, he gets it done where it counts, at the box office.

5. Tupac Shakur

Best Movie Performance: as Bishop in Juice

Tupac was less a person than a pure force of nature. It was impossible to take your eyes off him. His immense presence combined with an ability to be completely sincere no matter what he was saying led to some powerful performances. His turn as Bishop in Juice is wonderfully twisted. It has become legendary among hood-movie connoisseurs. As Lucky in Poetic Justice he was perfectly standoffish, yet vulnerable. He was even more vulnerable and all around flawless in Gridlock’d. Though I rate Juice as his best performance, I’d have to call this #1A. His fervent fans will tell me he should be #1. Talent-wise, it’s definitely arguable that he should be. Sadly, the brevity of his life and career kept him from giving us anything more than the few gems he left us with and from being even higher on this list.

4. Mos Def

Best Movie Performance: as Vivien Thomas in Something the Lord Made

Mos Def is one of the most underrated actors working today. He has a list of credits that’s not only as long as my arm but it hits nearly every demographic and goes back over two decades, starting with a role in TV’s God Bless the Child in 1988. He’s done just about every genre you can think of: action (16 Blocks, The Italian Job), comedy (Be Kind Rewind, Next Day Air), Sci-Fi (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy), drama (The Woodsman, Monster’s Ball), voiceover (The Boondocks)…he’s done it all. No matter what he’s been asked to do, he’s excelled. In 2005, he was a Golden Globe nominee for his work in the HBO movie Something the Lord Made.

3. Queen Latifah

Best Movie Performance: as Cleo in Set it Off

The Queen is on my short list of most important rappers of all time. However, that has as much to do with what she’s done outside of rap as it does actually rapping. Her career as a thespian started with a brief yet powerful tirade against Wesley Snipes’ character in Spike Lee’s Jungle Fever. From there, she had a few bit parts in TV and movies until she landed the part of Cleo in Set it Off. She gave a phenomenal performance. It’s a character that’s as far removed from her carefully crafted public persona as possible, yet she’s effortlessly believable. She hasn’t stopped working as an actress since, except by choice. She’s had a successful sitcom, Living Single. She’s been in some major money-makers (like Chicago and the Ice Age movies), some low-budget but well received fare (like Beauty Shop, Stranger Than Fiction, and The Secret Life of Bees), and everything in between. In 2003, she received an Oscar nomination for her work in Chicago In 2006, she became the first rapper to receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. In ’08, she won a Golden Globe and earned an Emmy nomination for her role in TV’s Life Support.

2. Mark Wahlberg

Best Movie Performance: as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights

A former Calvin Klein underwear model with six pack abs, a brother that made it big with New Kids on the Block (Donnie, a fine actor in his own right) and a catchy rap song (the hugely successful "Good Vibrations"), Marky Mark was tailor made for the MTV crowd. He parlayed that into a cameo as himself in TV’s The Substitute and then into a role in the Danny DeVito vehicle Renaissance Man. He was widely praised for his work in Boogie Nights. I'll forever maintain that he should have gotten an Oscar nomination for this role. Though he himself didn't get one, the movie was nominated for 3 Oscars. He did make big money with that movie as well as a number of others. Most notably, The Big Hit, Three Kings, The Perfect Storm,The Italian Job, and 2 Guns. 2006’s The Departed finally earned him that Oscar nomination, for Best Supporting Actor. He also received critical acclaim for his fantastic work as real life boxer Micky Ward in 2011's The Fighter.

1. Will Smith

Best Movie Performance: as Chris Gardner in The Pursuit of Happyness

This guy’s success at whatever he’s tried is nothing short of phenomenal. As the rapping part of the duo DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, he won the first ever Grammy for Best Rap Album. He took the Fresh Prince persona to the small screen and starred in the hugely successful sitcom The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. It was the first and still by far, the most successful sitcom any rapper has ever starred in. While there, he honed his acting skills and received critical acclaim with his role in 1993’s Six Degrees of Separation. Since then, he’s become nothing short of the biggest movie star in the world. The list of his movies that reached #1 at the box office seems endless and growing. He’s starred in 14 movies that have grossed over $200 million worldwide, 10 of them made over $300 million. Five of them, Independence Day, Men in Black, I Am Legend, Hancock, and Men in Black 3 have made over $500 million. He's the only actor to have eight consecutive movies gross better than $100 million here in the U.S and ten straight pull in at least $150 million worldwide. That's not the only rapper/actor, the only actor, period. However, he’s managed to have some substance with all that style. He’s twice been nominated for Best Actor at the Oscars, for 2001’s Ali and 2006’s The Pursuit of Happyness.


As always, feel free to let me know who I've left out.

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Fast & Furious 6

Directed by Justin Lin.

2013. Rated PG-13, 130 minutes.

Cast:

Vin Diesel

Paul Walker

Dwayne Johnson

Michelle Rodriguez

Jordana Brewster

Tyrese Gibson

Sung Kang

Ludacris

Luke Evans

Gal Gadot

Elsa Pataky

Gina Carano

At the end of Fast Five we were teased with the most soap operish of endings. One of our favorite characters, Letty (Rodriguez), was coming back from the dead for the next installment. And so, here we are. Our wait to see how her return plays out is over. The setup shows our heroes living high off the hog in exotic locales around the globe thanks to the money they made dragging a vault through the streets of Rio. Dom (Diesel) has something else he picked up while there: Elena (Pataky), the hot Brazilian cop who just couldn’t resist the Diesel engine. What? Too much? Anyhoo, Agent Hobbs (Johnson) shows up to fill Dom in on the fact that his thought to be deceased girlfriend is alive and kicking. The catch is she’s working for the newest bad guy, Owen Shaw (Evans), whom Hobbs is currently pursuing. With no hesitation, Dom rounds up the rest of the crew in London where all the madness is going down so they can get fast and furious. Six. Okay, that’s corny. You try. No? Let’s move on.

Like many an action movie, this one is at its worst when trying to explain itself. In other words, we don’t care one iota why Shaw is being such a dick, for lack of a better word. We sort of care about Letty’s situation. In true daytime drama fashion, she has amnesia. Let me back up a step. We actually don’t care about that either. We’re really just counting down the minutes until she figures out which team she’s supposed to be on. We’re also eye-balling part six’s buff female cop Riley, played by MMA fighter (and star of Haywire) Gina Carano and giddily awaiting the inevitable cat-fight between the two.

Two, my friends, is the magic number. That’s how many times our leading ladies square off. So good. So so good. I peek to make sure my wife isn't reading along as I type this. Aaaaannndd…the coast is clear. Anyhoo, that unabashed appeal to the shallow thirteen year old within us all has always been what works for this franchise. With Fast Five, the effort shifted into overdrive and never let up. FF6 travels the same road, but its pit stops are a tad longer. Otherwise, its commitment to the ridiculous is gloriously intact. We get more Dwayne Johnson being The Rock, more Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson trading insults. In fact, Tyrese is almost strictly comic relief. We also get more Paul Walker doing whatever Vin Diesel tells him to but somehow thinking he’s in charge and more of Sung Kang and Gal Gadot making googly eyes at each other. More than any of that, we get more crazy stunts involving not only cars, but a tank and a plane speeding down a runway that must be 50 miles long. And I’m not even joking a little bit about that last part.

Let’s back up to the cars for a moment. Know that I’m weeping on the inside as you read this because I’ll probably never have one. Our first real action scene involves something amazing. That something is not one, but two – yes, the magical two – two armored formula one racing cars. Sigh. May we please have a moment of silence for the untimely demise of all my other vehicular fantasies.

Thank you.

At the end of it all we get another really fun, but really dumb movie that is near impossible to resist. Sure, the dialogue is cheesy, the story is thin, and people act more out of convenience to the flimsy plot than anything remotely plausible. However, there’s an art to making watchable crap. It took a few movies to get it right, but these people have mastered it. How else to explain my total lack of disdain for the spectacular bridge stunt between Diesel and Rodriguez that makes the bridge scene in Fast Five feel somewhat realistic? And yes, we get another major promise (and closing of a loophole) right at the end. FF6 isn’t quite as good, or as terrible, as its predecessor, but it’s still so bad it’sawesome!

MY SCORE: -10/10

Fast Five

Directed by Justin Lin.
2011. Rated PG-13, 130 minutes.
Cast:
Vin Diesel
Paul Walker
Jordana Brewster
Dwayne Johnson
Tyrese Gibson
Ludacris
Elsa Pataky
Matt Schultze
Sung Kang
Gal Gadot
Joaquim de Almeida

Right away Fast Five lets us know what type of movie we’re in for. One of our heroes, Dominic Toretto (Diesel) is sentenced to 25 years in prison without the possibility of parole. Since it would be a waste to have one of our stars sitting in a cell for two hours, this calls for a daring escape attempt. As Toretto is being transported to prison on a bus with a bunch of other inmates, Brian (Walker) and his girlfriend/Dominic’s sister Mia (Brewster) show up right on cue to rescue their guy from the clutches of the law. Basically, their plan is to use their supped up sports cars to cause the bus to flip about half a dozen times, pull Dom from the wreckage and speed off. Huh? We couldn’t come up with a better idea than hoping everyone on board doesn’t die when we try to kill them? When you see the bus tumble you just know there have to be massive fatalities. Yet, the new anchor reporting the spectacular event informs us, “Amazingly, no one was killed.” Toretto and pals ride off into the sunset. Cue opening credits. This is your chance to make a break for it. Leave now, and spare yourself two hours of pure retardedness. Or, sit and enjoy the unrelenting display. Having plunked down twenty bucks on a Mother’s Day treat for the wife, I chose the latter. Yes, she picked the movie. Why? Are you kidding? Vin Diesel and The Rock in one flick? She couldn’t possibly resist that much man in one place at one time. I can’t blame her.

Speaking of The Rock, he plays the federal agent tasked with hunting down our favorite fugitives from the law and rocking a cool goatee. He’s sort of like Tommy Lee Jones’s character in The Fugitive, only with the ability to lift my Ford Explorer and that goatee. I may be exaggerating, but that thing is so cool it should’ve been listed in the credits as a separate character. Anyhoo, he and his crew have tracked our heroes down to Rio de Janeiro.

In need of money, Brian meets up with old pal Vince (Schultze) from the original The Fast and the Furious and decides to help him out on a train robbery. Yup, a train robbery. Of course, they’re stealing cars off of this train. Don’t you know what movie we’re watching? Predictably, things don’t go quite as planned. In fact, they go craptacularly wrong. They wind up with a car that the most evil and powerful man in all of Rio wants very badly. This basically means he tries to kill them to get his hands on the thing. To solve this problem our crew, who still have no money since they haven’t been paid for the botched job, launch an operation that looks to have cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not a million. This includes calling up people from other F and F movies and getting them down to Rio. It’s like they had a movie budget stashed away, or something. Not to mention, they have to deal with The Goatee catching up with them every so often and trying to drag them back to the US to face multiple charges.

As expected, we eventually get a knock-down, drag out fight between The Goatee and Vin Diesel. According to everything I’ve read on the internet, the combination of the ridiculous amounts of testosterone and machismo possessed by these two men should’ve resulted in a mix so volatile the universe would instantaneously implode once the first punch landed. Only those of lucky enough to be hiding in Chuck Norris’s beard would be safe. Luckily, we survived this potentially cataclysmic event to get to what is perhaps the most supercalifragilisticexpealidopeycoolstupid chase of all time. I’ll just say that, in terms of realism, I’m not sure if its more or less so than the A-Team trying to fly a tank in their movie.

I can’t blame anyone who hates this movie. The dialogue of the main characters is largely made up of them barking at one another. The supporting cast does provide some humor. Story-wise, there are so many gaping plotholes I accidentally dropped my over-priced tub of popcorn into one. They even create a plothole on the way out of theater. When the end credits roll, stick around through the end of the first song and see what the next F and F will be about. Will they call that one Fast Six? What about the series chronology? If Tokyo Drift has yet to happen yet, like they keep telling us, how exactly does our crew know Han? This gives us the best in-joke of the movie. Brian and Mia often talk about going Tokyo after pulling off the big job they’re working on because they don’t have extradition. When Han is asked about Tokyo, he says “We’ll get there, eventually.” How bad is TD that the rest of the franchise keeps distancing itself from it?

Let’s get back to this particular installment. As I said, there’s lots of yelling. There is also plenty of gunfire, fighting and of course, cars doing things I don’t think cars can do. Lest you get the wrong idea, I loved every single minute of this crap. It’s so bad, it’s awesome!

MY SCORE: -10/10

Gamer

Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor.
2009. Rated R, 95 minutes.
Cast:
Gerard Butler
Logan Lerman
Michael C. Hall
Amber Valetta
Chris “Ludacris” Bridges
Terry Crews
Kyra Sedgwick

Kable (Butler) is a death row inmate but has achieved worldwide fame as a character in a real live first-person shooter. You see, in this version of the future, gaming has truly gone next level. Many people pay to control others, or get paid to be controlled, in video games using real people as characters in a game that looks like “The Sims”, only with actual human beings.

As far as that shooting game goes, only death row inmates are used for that and that is where Kable comes in. He has survived longer than anyone else. If he survives one more battle, he will earn his freedom from both the game and prison. However, it’s not entirely up to him. During gameplay, he is controlled by Simon (Lerman), who has become a superstar in his own right due to his gaming prowess.

The premise is intriguing as all get-out. It is especially so for those of us who remember the genesis of home video-gaming and wonder just how far it can go. We get a movie that’s entertaining in the way only non-stop remorseless and graphic violence can be. It’s also visually stimulating because it mixes that violence with collages of odd behavior and nude or scantily clad bodies stitched together by quick cuts. Unfortunately, the story never mines the potential depths of its subject, preferring instead to stick with the tried and true approach of having a megalomaniacal villain try to take over the world. The effect is we can have fun watching it, but may have trouble remembering anything about it once we hit the “open” button on our DVD player. Well, memories of the several dance moments may linger for a bit, but that’s not a good thing.

The Opposite View: Vadim Rizov, LA Weekly

What the Internet Says: 5.7/10 on imdb.com (9/11/10), 30% on rottentomatoes.com, 27/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 5.5/10