Frozen

Directed by Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee.

2013. Rated PG, 108 minutes.

Cast:

Kristen Bell

Idina Menzel

Jonathan Groff

Josh Gad

Santino Fontana

Alan Tudyk

Ciaran Hinds

Chris Williams

Once upon a time in the magical land of Arendelle, there lived a princess named Elsa (Menzel). She possessed the power to create snow and ice at will. While using her powers during playtime she accidentally hurts her younger sister Anna (Bell). Knowing that she would be feared as an evil-doing witch, Elsa hid her powers by isolating herself from Anna and the outside world. However, during her coronation things get out of hand and Elsa's power is exposed. She transforms the bright, sunny day into a frigid winter night. She flees the castle in hopes of starting over all alone. Anna follows in hopes of bringing her back and ending the bitter cold her sister created. However, when Elsa's powers accidentally hurt Anna again only an act of true love can save the younger princess.

Sound familiar?

Of course, it does. It's a Disney movie about a princess, or a pair of princesses, in this case. The movie floats along the oh-so-familiar path of doing what fairy tales do. Along the way, it pauses to give us some heartwarming musical numbers that help the two young ladies explain their feelings to the audience. This includes the Oscar winning "Let it Go." Yawn. And I'm sorry, but Pharrell's "Happy" is the far better song. Screw you, Academy.

Does it sound like I'm hating on this movie?

Maybe I am. Call it a knee-jerk reaction to all the unwarranted love thrown this film's way. It's treated as if the movie's creators invented the wheel when they unleashed this thing on an unsuspecting world. This, it hardly does.

To be fair, Frozen does do something somewhat original. Though it does spend a fair amount of time dealing with a pair of Prince Charmings, it's real focus is on sisterhood. This is admirable, especially given the way most princesses are merely damsels in distress. This little bit of empowerment is welcome. Also welcome is this movie's subtle deconstruction of the notion that true love can be found instantly. Nice touch.

As far as some other things go, all the wintry landscapes make for a gorgeous movie to look at. The voice work is adequate, not spectacular. Kristen Bell fares best, being her usual plucky self. Idina Menzel is okay and shines during her one big moment, singing that song. As a whole, the music doesn't seem particularly inspired, but that could just be either the cynic or the contrarian in me talking. Our two Prince Charmings did exactly what I expected them to do and were completely bland about it. And the talking snowman generally annoyed me.

Despite all I've said, I don't think this is a terrible movie. I just don't believe that should've been gushed over by anyone over twelve. Even the bonding that occurs between females was better done just a year earlier in Brave, with a far more inventive story. Though, this one does open itself up a bit more to pro-lesbian interpretation, with Elsa hiding her true nature and later "coming out." That would be cool, to me at least, but not nearly enough to make me think this is some great cinematic achievement. Frozen is cute, even enjoyable, but not special.

MY SCORE: 6.5/10

Hit & Run

Directed by Dax Shepard and David Palmer.

2012. Rated R, 100 minutes.

Cast:

Dax Shepard

Kristen Bell

Bradley Cooper

Tom Arnold

Joy Bryant

Kristin Chenoweth

Michael Rosenbaum

Beau Bridges

Ryan Hansen

David Koechner

Charlie Bronson (Shepard), not his real name, is living a quiet life in a small town with his girlfriend Annie (Bell). He doesn’t have much choice in lifestyle since he’s in witness program. Annie informs him she needs to go to Los Angeles really quickly for a lucrative job opportunity. After some arguing he reluctantly agrees. The only problem is that L.A. is where the people he’s hiding from live. If they find him, they will kill him. Thanks to Annie’s jealous ex Gil (Rosenbaum), they know he’s coming. And since Charlie didn’t get permission to make the trip, his buddy, and incompetent fed Randy (Arnold), is also in pursuit.

The elements are all in place for a fun action romp, but the pieces doen’t quite come together sufficiently. Writer/co-director/star Dax Shepard’s Charlie is an interesting character. He does his best to endow the character with empathetic qualities. At times it works, other times it doesn’t. The same goes for Kristen Bell’s Annie. She’s presented as a romantic, and somewhat naïve. He’s also a romantic and trying to protect her innocence. However, their arguments are more annoying than heart wrenching. This is even more problematic than normal because it’s all presented as a comedy. Though each person makes valid points, neither says anything funny.

Comedy is an issue throughout. There are moments of hilarity, but many of the jokes fall flat. This is especially the case with Tom Arnold’s character. Maybe I just wasn’t in the mood for slapstick involving guns, but his bungling with firearms quickly grows tiresome. Other officers of the law aren’t much brighter. Most of their dialogue revolves around a cell phone app for locating nearby (and horny) homosexuals. Again, a funny moment here and there, but largely just repetitive. The best joke, and we even get it twice, involves a hotel room full of naked seniors.

All of this leads us to Bradley Cooper in the bad guy role. Like everyone and everything else in the movie, he’s presented in a comedic tone but almost never makes us laugh. Therefore, we’re left to marvel at how evil he is. Yes, he’s a bad guy. Still, he doesn’t really set himself apart from other movie villains. Well, that’s not entirely true. His appearance is reminiscent of Gary Oldman’s in True Romance. In keeping with the look, he has a black girlfriend, Neve played by Joy Bryant. When we first meet him, he has a confrontation with a very large and angry black man. A physical altercation between the two, with Cooper coming out on top is expected and wouldn’t normally matter much except as a way to establish his badness. However, him dragging said black man along the ground by wrapping a chain around the dude’s neck and force-feeding him dog food is too far over the top, regardless of who he’s sleeping with. It also grates against the rest of the movie’s overt political correctness.

Hit & Run fares better in the action department. Much of the fun is had during the various chase scenes. They’re fun and create a palpable sense of danger. I would love to have seen much more of Charlie’s old suped up Lincoln than we do, but that’s really my only complaint in that department. Overall, these chases make the movie somewhat watchable. However, it is still very uneven. It’s never so terrible we have to turn it off. On the other hand, we wouldn’t be horribly upset if someone else did.

MY SCORE: 5.5/10

Burlesque

Directed by Steve Antin.

2010. Rated PG-13, 119 minutes.

Cast:

Cher

Christina Aguilera

Stanley Tucci

Cam Gigandet

Eric Dane

Julianne Hough

Alan Cumming

Peter Gallagher

Kristen Bell

Glynn Turman

Terrence Jenkins

Chelsea Traille

Dainna Agron

Ali (Aguilera) flees her small hometown and dead-end job in search of fame and fortune in the big city. Once there, she stumbles into a burlesque bar owned by Tess (Cher) and just has to find a way to get on that stage. For you young’uns not sure what a burlesque bar is, I’ll (over) simplify. It’s a place where people go to watch women dance and get not quite naked. In this case, Cher has incorporated lip-syncing into all the routines and is pretty strict with the rule that no one sings live, but her. All of this is merely backdrop for the two real issues. The first, of course, is Ali's potential romance with barkeep turned roommate Jack (Gigandet). The other is that the club is going broke. You know how this works. They have x number of days to come up with x amount of money, or else.

It’s interesting that this movie uses lip-syncing as a focal point because it clearly imitates maybe a hundred musicals that came before it. Truth told, there is not one original bone in its body. Burlesque isn't just influenced by the movies of the past, it seems to have ingested them then jammed a finger down its own throat and regurgitated. We can predict the next event with alarming accuracy because we've seen this exact movie at least a few times before.

For the most part, the cast doesn't help. Cher brings the Cher persona and works just fine. Her less experienced co-star is not. Christina Aguilera isn't terrible, just boring. All that she really brings is that big voice to the numbers where she is eventually allowed to sing. Her love interest Cam Gigandet, as well as her fellow dancing girls (Kristen Bell and Julianne Hough among them) are all similarly vanilla, but don’t have any musical moments to elevate him. The one saving grace in this crowd is the remarkable Stanley Tucci. He continues to validate my belief that he’s one of the finest character actors of our time with another wonderful turn.

The scenes where girls are cavorting about on stage are truly the lifeblood of Burlesque. These, plus two other show-stopping moments make a valiant effort to save the film: the first time our heroine gets to sing and the powerful ballad Cher gets to belt out near the end. Unfortunately, they only prove to be brief reprieves from the movie trudging from one well-worn plot point to the next.

MY SCORE: 4.5/10

Safety Not Guaranteed

Directed by Colin Trevorrow.

2012. Rated R, 86 minutes.

Cast:

Aubrey Plaza

Mark Duplass

Jake Johnson

Karan Soni

Mary Lynn Rajskub

Jenica Bergere

Jeff Garlin

Lauren Carlos

Kristen Bell

Apparently, it’s a slow news month in Seattle. One of the city’s local magazines is trying to come up with ideas for a story to run when they decide to find out about the person and story behind a peculiar personal ad. It is for “someone to go back in time with,” and stresses that it is not a joke. Since it was his idea, Jeff (Johnson), decides to head the investigation and takes two interns with him: Darius (Plaza) and Arnau (Soni). Soon enough, they figure out it’s a guy named Kenneth (Duplass). The initial plan is for Jeff to pose as someone answering the ad. However, Kenneth sniffs him out as a fraud pretty quickly. Figuring correctly that Kenneth probably lacks female companionship, Darius is sent in to play the same role. Unsurprisingly to her co-workers, Darius is a hit with Kenneth who agrees to take her through the training process for time travel. Everyone trying to figure out just how crazy Kenneth is while he prepares to do the impossible ensues.

Several other storylines also persist. Jeff tries to hook up with an old flame and to break Arnau out of his shell (and virginity). Then, of course, there’s the little matter of Darius possibly falling for the seemingly unstable Kenneth. These all sound trite, but they’re handled with a humanity that feels genuine. In addition, the overarching time travel plot holds them all together without intruding upon them like the planets in other recent sort-of-sci-fi flicks Melancholia and Another Earth.

Like those other two movies, the science-fiction part of Safety Not Guaranteed is a seldom seen current that runs beneath the story. This is a movie much more about people interacting with one another than any futuristic occurrence. It’s developing love stories mixed with light comedy and drama, investigative reporting and even some possible espionage. This is definitely for the romantics and not the lights-and-lasers crowd.

Scream 4

You Again

Directed by Alan Fickman.
2010. Rated PG, 105 minutes.
Cast:
Kristen Bell
Odette Yustman
Jamie Lee Curtis
Sigourney Weaver
Betty White
James Wolk
Kyle Bornheimer
Billy Unger
Kristin Chenoweth
Victor Garber

Hey, have you seen that romantic comedy that ends in a wedding? Of course you have. Yes, this is yet another one. If you still want to see You Again, read on. If you don’t, read on anyway just to be sure. I mean, it’s got Betty White in the cast. That’s gotta count for something, right?

Okay, so we know how it ends. Like most rom-coms it’s not the ending, but how we get there that determines whether its good or not. The easiest route usually starts with boy meets girl. Kudos to this film for not including that little cliché. In fact, YAis not really about the couple that gets married. It’s actually about the contentious relationship between the soon-to-be bride Joanna (Yustman) and her beau’s sister Marni (Bell). Well, it’s mostly about Marni. She was once the classic Hollywood high school nerd. She wore big glasses, had bad hair and got great grades. As an adult, she’s transformed into a beautiful swan with a very successful career. In high school Joanna, then known as J.J. was her nemesis. J.J. was the head cheerleader which by movie logic means she was without question the most beautiful, popular and meanest person in school. Her most famous moment appears to be having Marni carried out of the building and locked out while the entire student body sings Queen’s “We Are the Champions” in perfect harmony.

Now, years later Joanna is marrying Marni’s brother Will (Wolk). He has no idea about her mean girl past despite going to the same school during her reign of terror. She wants to keep it that way. Marni wants Joanna to tell the truth about everything and make an apology. Over the weekend leading up to the bid day, the zany antics of thes two wild and crazy gals ensue. Oh, almost forgot something. Marni’s mom Gail (Curtis) and Joanna’s aunt Ramona (Weaver) have a similar relationship that’s still volatile despite the two having not seen each other in decades.

Yes, what all of these ladies do can accurately be described as zany. Is it funny? Meh. There are a few moments that are good for a laugh. All of our ladies, including Marni’s grandmother (White), play off each other well enough to generate the occasional chuckle. Then there’s the slapstick and pratfalls aspect so some of you won’t be able to stop giggling. That said, a lot of it is unfunny stuff recycled from other unfunny movies. Even worse, the way the handle the whole bully vs geek thing makes it feel like something that should be airing as a half-hour sitcom on ABC Family. I can totally see Marni as the main character in a series developed over time. In a feature, there isn’t enough of her for us to really latch onto. That’s magnified by her willfully sinking to unbecoming depths to do something she could’ve accomplished by confronting Joanna on the first day after finding out about the wedding. We sympathize with what happened to her in high school, but we don’t like her.

All of the bickering, strutting, scowling, rapping and competitive dancing takes us through the prerequisite ups and downs we’ve come to expect from such movies. It has a formula and sticks to it pretty faithfully. So now you know, and knowing is half…um…nevermind. If you like rom-coms see it. If you don’t, don’t.

MY SCORE: 4/10

Astro Boy

Directed by David Bowers.
2009. Rated PG, 94 minutes.
Cast:
Freddie Highmore
Nicolas Cage
Kristen Bell
Donald Sutherland
Bill Nighy
Samuel L. Jackson
Eugene Levy
Charlize Theron

Plot: After his son is killed during a demonstration gone awry, Dr. Tenma (Cage) builds a robotic version of his tyke outfitted with the latest weaponry and boosters in his boots.

The Good: It manages to be fun without being overly stupid. It doesn’t talk down to its target audience. It also resists the urge to cater to parents and doesn’t purposely put in a bunch of jokes that they know will go over the heads of the kids watching. When we get action, it’s a blast watching Astro Boy zip back and forth across the screen.

The Bad: The go-green subtext is a bit heavy-handed. However, the kids may not pick up on that. What they might notice is that both of our villains are a bit underdeveloped. They’re not as menacing as they could’ve been.

The Ugly: Did they really have to give him "butt guns"?

Recommendation: This is a fun, quick hour and a half. As far as kiddie flicks go, its not in the class of the best animated movies of the last couple years, but it’s successful in its own right. The kids will be thoroughly entertained and adults will probably not be squirming to get out of the room.

The Opposite View: Amy Biancolli, San Francisco Chronicle

What the Internet Says: 6.4/10 on imdb.com (6/23/10), 48% on rottentomatoes.com, 53/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: 6/10

Couples Retreat

Directed by Peter Billingsley.
2010. Rated PG-13, 114 minutes.
Cast:
Vince Vaughn
Jason Bateman
Faizon Love
Kristin Davis
Kristen Bell
Malin Akerman
Kali Hawk
Jean Reno
Tasha Smith
Ken Jeong
John Michael Higgins

Plot: Four couples get a group rate to go to an island paradise. Once there, they discover that the unorthodox therapy sessions that came with the discount are mandatory.

The Good: From time to time something funny happens. When it does, it’s usually hilarious. Our four couple often find themselves in outlandish and compromising situations. Chief among them is the yoga scene which is one of the funniest scenes I’ve watched in a little while. Vince Vaughn (Dave) is only doing the Vince Vaughn persona he does in nearly every movie, but he does it so well. It’s “so money”, to fondly remember where it all started. He’s not alone. The other guys also wear their familiar personas well. Therefore, we get what we’ve come to expect from Favreau, Bateman and Love.

The Bad: Those hilarious moments are spaced kind of far apart, while easily predictable things happen to fill the gaps. Worse than that, nearly every funny moment in the movie was in the trailer. There really wasn’t much else. Of course, a tidy bow is wrapped around everything, including one character’s wife popping up literally from nowhere. It’s a movie that could’ve been so much more but takes the lazy route more often than not. Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned the walking, talking stereotype named Trudy (Hawk).

The Ugly: I guess he really wasn’t wearing drawers.

Recommendation: It has its moments. It’s not the affront to humanity some have made it out to be, but it has a severe case “if you’ve seen the commercial, you’ve seen the movie.”

The Opposite View: Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

What the Internet Says: 5.5/10 on imdb.com (6/15/10), 11% on rottentomatoes.com, 23/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: 5/10