Noah

Directed by Darren Aronofsky.

2014. Rated PG-13, 138 minutes.

Cast:

Russell Crowe

Jennifer Connelly

Ray Winstone

Emma Watson

Anthony Hopkins

Logan Lerman

Douglas Booth

Nick Nolte

Kevin Durand

Mark Margolis

Frank Langella

Leo McHugh Carroll

Even if you're not religious, you're probably familiar with the story of Noah's Ark. The Good Lord was so fed up with mankind that he sent a great flood to wipe us all out. Before He did, though, He let Noah in on the plan and told him to build a great ark and all the animals, two by two, will join him and his family. That way, when the waters recede all of the various species can continue. Noah did precisely this and the world was repopulated entirely by the occupants of the most famous boat of all time. With Russell Crowe in the titular role, Noah fleshes out this saga in more detail than has ever been attempted.

Noah is presented to us as a simple man. He is wholly devoted to The Creator first, his family second, and has the courage of his convictions on all fronts. Crowe plays him as a man with a quiet, yet unwavering, authority. It is also unquestioned within his own family. When he says 'we're building an ark and all the animals are coming,' his wife Naameh (Connelly) doesn't even blink. It's evident that she is as committed as he to carrying out The Creator's wishes. If either of them, or anyone in the movie for that matter, isn't quite sure what He is saying to them, or what should be done next, they go pay a visit to Noah's cave-dwelling grandfather Methusaleh. All is then made clear and we drive on. Also involved are Noah's sons Shem (Booth), Ham (Lerman), and Jahpeth (Carroll). This makes for some pretty interesting family dynamics when things don't seem to be going quite as planned, or at least to everyone's liking. This provides the movie with its biggest dilemma and a controversial outcome. It opens the door for the interpretation that Noah was ultimately a failure in God's eyes. Noah himself seems to feel this way. It goes against the prevailing idea that he was an unmitigated success. Well, unless I missed something. That's entirely possible given I'm not a religious guy. If so, feel free to let me know.

Then again, letting me know what I missed isn't really necessary because this movie really only uses the biblical story of Noah as an outline for the rest of the movie. Basically, that he built an ark, all the animals came, and The Creator flooded the world destroying all life outside of that ark is all that's taken from scripture. However, this isn't a complaint. I fully understand why so much was added to the story. It would have been really boring watching Noah and his family chop down trees, swing hammers, and sing spirituals while they work for a hundred years to get it done. Likewise, it would not have been exciting watching them sail along for forty days and forty nights unless the animals started getting unruly. By the way, the movie very neatly skirts this possibility. Things were needed to give us human conflicts the viewer could relate to. To that end, we get the family drama, including a very tough situation that weighs heavily on the movie's final act. We also get a villain in the form of Tubal-cain (Winstone). He believes Noah really has been told by God to build the ark and that a great flood is coming. Well, Tubal-cain has an army and he wants on that boat! These things work pretty well to create tension where the source material has none. There is also an additional layer of mysticism applied to a tale that already starts with a supernatural conversation. This comes in the form of "The Watchers," fallen angels made of light but encased in rock ages ago when they betrayed The Creator by helping mankind. They seem to have leapt from Peter Jackson's imagination as possible Middle Earth inhabitants. Their presence gives our heroes some much-needed allies and they really spring to life during movie's largest battle scene.

On the technical side, director Darren Aronofsky has created a visually pleasing film. There are lots of wide shots of our heroes either traversing lush landscapes or hard at work on the ark. These and the depiction of the battles again bring Peter Jackson to mind. In battle, The Watchers take on humans in spectacular fashion. Bodies and rocks fly about the screen as swords, axes, and all sorts of ancient weaponry is put to use. By the time we get quite that far, however, we have already seen the most amazing shot of the movie: a forest instantly springing up around Noah and family from a singular seed. Another wonderful sequence has our hero audibly recite the story of Creation, but visually melds it with The Big Bang Theory and evolution. During our scenes aboard the famed vessel, we get lots of shots of people coming out of and going into the shadows symbolizing the less than altruistic intentions of several characters. We are also shown more close ups mimicking the claustrophobic nature of their situation. It's a clear case of the director and his cinematographer using the camera to influence the viewer.

Like lots of films, how much we enjoy Noah might depend on the expectations we bring to it. If you are a devout Christian and/or looking for something that sticks closely to the story you know and love, you may be sorely disappointed. I venture to say so many liberties are taken wish the source material it's possible you'll be offended. Of course, there's that whole bit about just what happened at the beginning of time. If you go into it dreading having to sit through a religious flick, you might just roll your eyes all the way through. Fallen angels and God delivering ultimatums in a voice only heard by one person is not going to change your mind. However, if you enter without clinging to your thoughts on what it should be, you will be pleasantly surprised. The story is told well and a good deal of tension is created. It also looks very good, as mentioned. It can drag a bit in spots, but things perk up whenever Ray Winstone or Anthony Hopkins is on the screen. It's a decent watch, but won't inspire you to start building an ark anytime soon.

MY SCORE: 6.5/10

Les Misérables

Directed by Tom Hooper.

2012. Rated PG-13, 158 minutes.

Cast:

Hugh Jackman

Russell Crowe

Anne Hathaway

Amanda Seyfried

Eddie Redmayne

Helena Bonham Carter

Sacha Baron-Cohen

Samantha Barks

Aaron Tveit

Daniel Huttlestone

Cavin Cornwall

Let’s start with a little personal history. Somehow, in all my years, I've never seen any sort of production of Les Misérables, not even part of one. I've also managed to remain completely ignorant of its plot. The only two things I know about it going in are that it’s a musical and it is legendary in the theater world. Without any other point of reference, I’m free to judge this on its own merits without comparing it to what was done on the stage.

On another personal note, my family refused to watch with me. These are the same people that get excited over the mention of Mamma Mia!, High School Musical, and the remakes of Fame, and Sparkle. This doesn't even include all the dance movies they watch over and over…and over. When I mention this, my oldest daughter sums up their collective anguish at the notion of taking in Les Mis when she twists her face into a pained look and says “Yeah, but this is…like opera or something.” With that, they scatter about the house leaving me alone with my virginal perspective on this old tale. Play.

A couple decades after The French Revolution, we meet Jean Valjean (Jackman). He is among a group of chained inmates charged with manually pulling a rather large ship into port. This difficult task is made even more so by the fact that they’re singing as they work. Hey, I am watching a musical…like opera or something. So yes, 99.9% of the dialogue is sang, but I digress. Valjean has been locked up for nineteen years for stealing a loaf of bread. Immediately following the boat scene, he’s finally granted parole.

However, he remains on probation and must report to his parole officer every so often. Pissed at the notion, he tears up his freedom papers, violates his probation by never reporting, and goes on the run. He becomes such a model citizen that when we skip ahead eight years, he is now the beloved mayor of a small town, under a different name of course. Sure enough, his old warden Javert (Crowe) is after him, forcing him to go on the run again. The difference this time is that he has also vowed to care for the daughter of Fantine (Hathaway), a young female employee at the local sweat shop who dies with no one to provide for her offspring. From this point forward, the movie is essentially a cat-and-mouse between the two men.

The first thing we notice is the look of the movie. The opening scene is flat out stunning. Even though the rest of the film doesn't quite measure up to first impressions, it’s a wonderful rendering of what France may have looked like at the time. No shots of snooty folk sipping wine at an outdoor restaurant with the Eiffel Tower in the background. This is a place that is rotting from the inside. Its core has gone bad. What we see is a perfect representation of the country’s political climate.

Next, we notice the startling first shot of Hugh Jackman. With a long scraggly beard and seven layers of dirt on seemingly every inch of him he quickly dispels our preconceived notions. The last time we see him this way, his first big solo, is an amazing moment. The rest of his performance doesn't disappoint, either. He’s just plain good. In fact, he’s better than good. I know he did a lot of theater before hitting it big on the silver screen. The experience shows. His emotions bubble to the surface, compelling us to watch. It’s not until after the movie that we realize we just saw Wolverine singing…like opera or something.  

Aside from our hero, we get a wonderful turn by Anne Hathaway, in just a few scenes. She gives us a gut-wrenching few minutes of screen time. There is also a rather fun performance by our comic relief, the duo of Sacha Baron-Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter. They provide the movie with a sorely needed element of playfulness even though the tandem combines to form the movie’s secondary villain. In what’s become an overlooked portrayal, perhaps due to the sheer bigness of the other names in the cast, Samantha Barks is also very good. I’m not completely sold on the crooning Russell Crowe, but he doesn't embarrass himself.

Story-wise, the movie holds together fairly well, but strains its own credibility in a few places. First, the warring between France’s citizens and its government is built up to be of supreme importance, as it should be, but then revealed to be merely a backdrop for the romance of Cosette (Seyfried) and Marius (Redmayne). It feels like rebellion was only a trivial pursuit for him that didn't go so well. Worse, I don’t believe one second of this romance to begin with. Sure, I can make allowances for love at first sight in movies, but this feels especially under baked. The whole thing is too sudden and they’re too immediately overwhelmed by the other. It’s reminiscent of what happens when Romeo meets Juliet, but without any of the same weight. It’s clearly a subplot, but pushed out front as if it is what we should be focusing on. I've no clue whether or not this works on stage. Here, I couldn't quite be convinced.

My lack of belief in the blossoming love of the couple in question leaves the core of the last few scenes a bit hollow for me. Fortunately, Jackman pulls me back in with his final number. It’s a fitting close to the story. This man who has been through so much finally appears too tired to continue. Since he is the reason we watch, it’s only right that he sends us off with one last heartfelt song. When that song ends we have what is, in my opinion, the best musical in several years, probably since the terrifically morbid Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. It’s certainly the best of a strangely crowded field. That said, if musicals aren't your thing, steer clear. After all, it’s…like opera or something.

Man of Steel

The Man with the Iron Fists

Directed by RZA.

2012. Rated R, 95 minutes.

Cast:

RZA

Russell Crowe

Lucy Liu

Rick Yune

Jamie Chung

Dave Bautista

Cung Le

Byron Mann

Daniel Wu

Zhu Zhu

Pam Grier

Gordon Liu

Andrew Ng

Zen Yi (Yune) is away getting married when he gets word that his father has been killed. Right away, he decides to head home to Jungle Village and exact his revenge against the Lion clan. Ah yes, the most tried and true plot of martial arts flicks. Englishman Jack Knife (Crowe) is in the area in hopes of finding gold. All of the warring clans get their rather heinous weapons from the local blacksmith known only as...um…Blacksmith (RZA). Okay, fine. Whether it’s time for lovin’ or fightin’ everyone congregates at the local house of ill repute run by Madam Blossom (Liu). Bad narration, cheesy dialogue and gory martial arts goodness ensues.

If you know anything about the brains behind this operation, it makes perfect sense for this movie to turn out precisely as it does. The Man with the Iron Fists formed in the mind of its writer and director the RZA (pronounced Riz-uh for the uninitiated). He’s also one of the people most responsible for giving us one of the greatest groups in hip hop history, The Wu-Tang Clan. They built a mythology surrounding themselves in which 70s and 80s martial arts movies play a huge role influencing both the music they created and philosophies they espoused. This movie is nothing short of an unabashed homage to those films. Though RZA struggles in his acting role, as director he gives us a visual treat chock full of Shaw Brothers inspired madness.

Another major influence is the work of producer Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill, for which the RZA provided the score along with QT pals Robert Rodriguez and Eli Roth. As a result “…Iron Fists” achieves a look and tongue-in-cheek feel of movies by all three. It lacks the depth and quality of their work but its apparent reverence for the genre that inspired it at least puts it in the same vein. Roth was even brought in as a co-writer on the screenplay. He’s been credited mostly with chopping the movie down from a four hour, two part behemoth down to its fighting weight of just over 90 minutes. Thank goodness.

Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu seem to be having great fun hamming it up. Crowe does everything except twirl his moustache between his index finger and thumb. Meanwhile, Liu revisits her Kill Bill days. Big, bad wrestler Bautista effectively stomps around the set knocking over things and people alike while grunting his lines. His character is heavily influenced by both Toad from the genre classic Five Deadly Venoms and Colossal of the X-Men. This is a perfect blend of old school kung fu flick and comic book sensibilities. This lends authenticity to the hokeyness that is Iron Fists. It would have been perfectly at home in either of the two places where the RZA saw most of those martial arts pictures during his formative years, either in a grindhouse theater on Manhattan’s 42nd Street or at 3 o’clock every Saturday afternoon on Channel 5 (WNEW, back then). At least, that’s where me and all my friends saw them. The plots were always simple, the acting and dialogue was almost always bad and the fighting was always exhilarating.

If you go into …Iron Fists expecting anything other than a zany kung fu flick you’ll be sorely disappointed. A sharply written plot and Oscar-worthy performances are not found her. To be honest, don’t even expect it all to make sense within its own context. Things get convoluted, at times. All of these together normally add up to a very bad movie. However, the blood splattering action makes it a package just too cheesy to resist. If you’re like me, a heavy nostalgia takes over. Before you know it, you’re having a grand time watching a rotten movie. That’s right, it’s so bad it’s awesome!

MY SCORE: -10/10

The Next Three Days

Favorite Boxing Movies

This weekend, one of the most hyped sports movies in recent memory has been released. That movie is The Fighter, starring Mark Wahlberg as former welterweight champ Mickey Ward. Though I haven’t seen it yet, I am anxious to. To me, boxing movies reign supreme in the genre of sports films. It seems that the folks who give out awards agree with me. The only two sports movies to ever win the Oscar for Best Picture were both about boxing. Don’t worry, I’ll name them as I get to them.

Truth told, none of these movies are truly about boxing. They’re about the triumphs and tragedies of an individual. They’re about one person trying to pull themselves up by their bootstraps which earns our vested interest in whether they succeed or fail. They’re about winning and losing, both in the ring and in life.

I haven’t seen every boxing movie. In fact, while researching this topic I found there are a great number of them I’ve missed. Therefore, this is not a comprehensive “Greatest” list, it’s a “Favorites” list. As in, of the dozens I’ve seen these are my favorites. Oh, and why 12 instead of the normal 10? When I was growing up, championship fights lasted 15 rounds. In an effort to make the sport safer that number was reduced to 12. Initially, I was going to do 15, here. However, in the interest of your safety I’ve limited myself to…

My 12 Favorite Boxing Movies
(Quick Key:
The Key
Promoter = the director
Fighter = the person starring as the boxer
Weight Class = Fighting weight class of the boxer)

12. The Hurricane (1999)
Fighter: Denzel Washington
Weight Class: Middleweight
Promoter: Norman Jewison[/size][/color]
Based on the life and times on middleweight contender Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, who was wrongly convicted of murder and the subsequent fight to prove his innocence. In the title role, Denzel Washington gives a fantastic performance that elevates the movie past other contenders. However, as good as he is, take away a point for him being much bigger than any middleweight.

11. Tyson (2008)
Fighter: Mike Tyson
Weight Class: Heavyweight
Promoter: James Toback
Former Heavyweight champion of the world, Mike Tyson basically psychoanalyzes himself. He displays the intelligence he’s hardly given credit for possessing. He also has some his own version of the truth and his sanity is very much in question. It’s hardly a traditional boxing movie but an intriguing watch, nonetheless.

10. Ali (2001)
Fighter: Will Smith
Weight Class: Heavyweight
Promoter: Michael Mann
Instead of trying to chronicle Muhammad Ali’s entire life, this focuses on the period between 1964 and 1974, culminating with his historic fight in Zaire against then unbeaten and menacing champ George Foreman. It’s probably the most underappreciated movie on the list. Audiences and critics alike were rather apathetic towards it. Still, Will Smith’s powerful portrayal of “The Greatest” garnered him an Oscar nomination for Best Actor.

9. Rocky II (1979)
Fighter: Sylvester Stallone
Weight Class: Heavyweight
Promoter: Sylvester Stallone
Somehow, people conveniently forget that in the original Rocky our hero didn’t actually win the big fight. This is the movie where Rocky actually turned the trick. When he finally does, we let out two movies worth of exhilaration. Thus, some have proclaimed this to be the best in the series. I disagree, but it’s a pretty clear cut second as the series took a sharp turn in tone and slathered on the cheese even heavier starting with Rocky III.

8. Cinderella Man (2005)
Fighter: Russell Crowe
Weight Class: Heavyweight
Promoter: Ron Howard
Here, we get a biopic on Heavyweight champ James J. Braddock. More than anything we watch him try to hold his family together through the Great Depression. Bills piled up and money stopped coming in, but through it all our champ remained a gentleman. Russell Crowe is as compelling as always. The only real knock is Braddock seemed a little too perfect. Still, it works.

7. Let’s Do it Again (1975)
Fighter: Jimmy Walker
Weight Class: Middleweight
Promoter: Sidney Poitier
This is the most unique movie on the list. It’s the only comedy and the fighter has little to do with our enjoyment of the film. That fighter is super scrawny Bootney Farnsworth played by Jimmy Walker, better known as J. J. from Good Times. It’s really about a couple guys pulling a con on a pair of gangsters to raise funds for their lodge. Those two guys are played brilliantly by the one of the 1970s greatest comedic duos, Bill Cosby and Sidney Poitier. As for our champ, well, let’s just say the power of positive thinking is taken to new heights. Hip Hop culture owes this movie a debt, as well. One of the gangsters is named Biggie Smalls, the original and still more popular moniker the late MC, The Notorious B.I.G.

6. Unforgivable Blackness: The Rise and Fall of Jack Johnson (2004)
Fighter: Jack Johnson
Weight Class: Heavyweight
Promoter: Ken Burns
Ken Burns’ epic documentary on the first Black Heavyweight champion of the world, Jack Johnson, is a sprawling, enthralling masterpiece. It’s the only movie here that might not qualify as such. It originally aired in two parts on separate nights on PBS and totals about four hours making it a made-for-TV flick, at best. That’s okay. Quality transcends medium. Through Johnson, we get a palpable sense of the political and racial climate of the late 19th and early 20th century and we get to see a man who, for the most part, embodied a song Frank Sinatra would make decades later: “I Did it My Way”.

5. Million Dollar Baby (2004)
Fighter: Hilary Swank
Weight Class: Welterweight
Promoter: Clint Eastwood
One day, a fighter walks into Frank’s gym asking to be trained by him in hopes of one day winning a title. First off, the fighter’s already 31 years old. The bigger problem: the fighter is a woman. Frank refuses, but she keeps coming back until he relents. From there, we get a fantastic boxing movie. Along with Swank as our champ, Maggie, and Clint bringing his usual gruffness to his role as Frank, we get a great supporting turn from Morgan Freeman. In case you’ve forgotten, this is one of only two sports movies to ever win an Oscar for Best Picture. It’s only movie featuring a female to make this list.

4. When We Were Kings (1996)
Fighter: Muhammad Ali
Weight Class: Heavyweight
Promoter: Leon Gast
Back when he was young enough to do so, Muhammad Ali played himself in the autobiographic film The Greatest. It’s a solid movie in its own right that culminates with the champs win over George Foreman. Years later, Will Smith would play Ali in the movie of the same title and earn an Oscar nod for doing so. That movie also ended after the Foreman fight. Between the two is this documentary that takes us much deeper inside the making of that legendary fight. We see Ali realize that he is, and comfortably step into the role of an international figure. Meanwhile, Foreman struggles with having the cloak of a villain practically forced upon him. It’s a spectacular piece of work.

3. Requiem for a Heavyweight (1964)
Fighter: Anthony Quinn
Weight Class: Heavyweight
Promoter: Ralph Nelson
After taking a beating at the hands of Cassius Clay, a young Ali playing himself in a cameo (he’s all over this list), Mountain Rivera finds out that was his last fight. Damage to his eye has caused the doctor in attendance to forbid him to fight any longer. He’s been a fighter for 17 years, that’s all he knows. We watch him struggle to make his way in the world while the people close to him tug him in different directions. It’s a heart-breaking picture that’s just perfect all the way through, including the wonderful performance of Anthony Quinn as Mountain.

2. Rocky (1976)
Fighter: Sylvester Stallone
Weight Class: Heavyweight
Promoter: John G. Avildsen
This is where we first meet and fall in love with Rocky Balboa. At this point, he’s not even a has-been, he’s a never-was fighter trying to make ends meet on the mean streets in Philly. He lucks into a shot at the heavyweight title when the guy scheduled to fight the champ breaks his hand. From there, we get arguably the most imitated movie in history. Hundreds, if not thousands of movies have followed its template and not all of them are sports movie. For creating something so iconic, Sylvester Stallone never gets enough credit. After so many sequels and so many other not nearly as thoughtful movies, we forget that Stallone didn’t just play Rocky, he created the character and wrote the screenplay. Oh yeah, this was the first sports movie to take home the Oscar for Best Picture.

1. Raging Bull (1980)
Fighter: Jake La Motta
Weight Class: Middleweight
Promoter: Martin Scorcese
Former middleweight champ Jake La Motta has far more in common with Mike Tyson than Rocky. He pretty much defines “self-destructive.” He’s also destructive to those around him, too. He views them all like they’re his opponents, wary of every move they make, fearing they’re trying to land the knock out blow. He treats them as such and it costs him big. Here is a brutal movie about a brutal man in a brutal sport. To bring Jake to life, Robert De Niro gives what might be the best performance of his career. This didn’t win Best Picture, but it should’ve in my opinion. C’mon Academy! Ordinary People? For my money, this is the best sports movie ever made.

Other Contenders:

The Great White Hope (1970)

The Champ (1979)

Rocky IV (1985)

The Great White Hype (1996)

Resurrecting the Champ (2007)

Facing Ali (2009)

Robin Hood (2010)

Directed by Ridley Scott.
2010. Rated PG-13, 140 minutes.
Cast:
Russell Crowe
Cate Blanchett
Oscar Isaac
Max von Sydow
Mark Strong
William Hurt
Danny Huston
Mark Addy
Kevin Durand
Léa Seydoux

The legend of Robin Hood, here played by Russell Crowe, has survive for ages by keeping him fairly simple. He and his band of merrymen, plus Lady Marion (Blanchett), roam Sherwood Forest and steal from the rich only so that they can give to the poor. Have you ever wondered how he wound up there? Me neither. However, in Ridley Scott’s sparkingly grimy update on the character that’s precisely what we find out. Oh, if you’re vexing over the oxy-moronic “sparkingly grimy” you have to see it to understand. Dirty people have seldom looked better.

Not content to merely be about our favorite archer, we’re treated to several other storylines to fret over. Most notable is one that emphasizes the difference between King Richard the Lionheart (Huston) and his brother and eventual successor John (Isaac). This supplies us with our hero’s reason to be heroic. Of course, there is also the love story and a couple other things going on. It’s not as convoluted as it sounds. Most of them breathe well enough on their own and come together nicely.

In the lead role, Russell Crowe does what Russell Crowe does. It’s not up there with his best, but it’s solid work, nonetheless. He’s actually outdone by Cate Blanchett as his love interest. Overall, the acting is very good. You should expect no less from the excellently assembled cast. The action scenes are solid, but not spectacular and evoke memories of Braveheart. However, they don’t quite measure up.

Evoking memories is a bit of a problem for this movie. It seems to blend the aforementioned Braveheart with another Scott/Crowe collaboration: Gladiator. The main problem is there seems to be little difference between our newly crowned King John and Gladiator’s Commodus, save for that whole incest thing. Instead of becoming something grand, it turns into a rather bland epic. It’s not bad, but it isn’t likely to stick in your psyche for very long.

Despite the best efforts of Kevin Cosner and Mel Brooks, the image most of us have of Robin Hood is one of Errol Flynn practically dancing up the stairs while sword fighting with multiple henchmen. Maybe we think of Flynn swing from the chandelier or from some other moment culled from all the fantastic cheese that movie provides. All the while, he’s wearing the unmistakable bright green tight and funny mustache. Hmmm…I’d dismissed all charges of homoeroticism against the classic until I wrote this paragraph. There’s nothing wrong with that. I just had a revelatory moment, that’s all. Anyhoo, the 21st century version is a solid, but flawed effort not likely to change the reality of our perception of what Robin Hood should be.