Happy Father's Day 2018!!!

31 Days of Horror: Train to Busan

Thursday Movie Picks: Father-Son Relationships (Biologically Related)

Despicable Me 2

Prisoners

The Place Beyond the Pines

Peeples

After Earth

That's My Boy

The Croods

A Good Day to Die Hard

The Amityville Horror (2005)

Directed by Andrew Douglas.

2005. Rated PG-13, 89 minutes.

Cast:

Ryan Reynolds

Melissa George

Chloë Grace-Moretz

Jesse James

Jimmy Bennett

Rachel Nichols

Philip Baker Hall

In 1979, The Amityville Horror hit theaters, and not only became a hit movie, but a cultural phenomenon. People actually made the trek to New York to see the house where the movie was set because it was supposedly a true story. I don’t knock anyone for believing in ghosts and/or haunted houses. To each his own. However, I do have to question the intelligence of people who believe it to be true and go there on purpose. What if it is? Being in the midst of a demonic paranormal entity doesn't sound like a barrel of laughs to me. As noted in my review of the original, whether or not our tale is rooted in reality has been hotly debated and largely debunked. What is inarguable is that it provided the template for the modern haunted house movie which is still being ripped off ad nauseum all these years later.

This brings us to the remake you came here to read about. The setup is the same as the older movie. The Lutz family is house shopping for a place suitable for their family of six: George (Reynolds), Kathy (George), three kids, and one dog. The kids and the dog came with Kathy as part of a package deal, having remarried after the death of her first husband. They check out the fateful house and it is obviously out of their price range. No worries, the real estate agent assures them she’s letting it go cheap. When asked what gives, she explains what we saw at the very beginning. The year before, some nut got up out of bed at 3:15 AM and blasted everyone in his family with a shotgun. Since it is a beautiful house, and George wants to make his woman happy, the Lutzes decide to buy it. After all, as George so eloquently puts it, “houses don’t kill people.” We’ll just see about that, won’t we.

Right away, and every night at 3:15, things go haywire. George is affected more than anyone. The movie, including Reynolds himself, does a nice job with his rapidly deteriorating mental state. This is very clearly a man losing it. Just to make sure we know that it’s the house causing all of his issues, he’s a much nicer guy whenever he is away from it. For the most part, he drives the movie. The film, and the house, uses him to crank things up or ratchet them down at the appropriate times.

The character who shoulders the rest of the load is the daughter Chelsea. She interacts with the house in a way no one else does. As a result, she’s often in harm’s way. This is one of the very early performances of child star Chloë Grace-Moretz. She’s about as solid as any kid would be in the role, but it’s hard to tell from this that she would become a top notch and highly sought after talent with many horror titles on her resumé. Still, the movie effectively uses her to score easy sympathy points and provide some harrowing scenes.

On its own, this is a briskly pace film packed with creepy visuals. It hardly gives us a chance to catch our breath as it is constantly sprinting to the next big moment. Juxtaposed with its predecessor, we see that it is a more concentrated effort. This version is almost solely focused on the Lutz family. The story of Father Callaway (Hall), Father Delaney in the original, ran prominently alongside the main plot in that older flick, but is barely included here, almost totally diminished in importance and altered in execution. Conversely, the bit about Lisa (Nichols), the baby-sitter, is expanded into a much more intense scene and the character herself is completely different. The other major difference is how the dog is handled. In the original, it is used to show how caring a person George really is when not under the house’s influence. This time it’s used to demonstrate George’s loosening grip on reality.

It is my opinion that this is a very underrated movie. It ramps up the tension early and doesn't let up. Ryan Reynolds gives a very convincing performance of a guy flipping out. There are also excellent and unsettling visuals throughout. Normally, a ninety minute remake of a two hour movie is cause to ring the alarms. Ring them even louder when you add the fact that Michael Bay is a producer on this one. Logic tells us that so much would be left out it would feel incomplete. Honestly, there are things left out of this version. However, it feels like what was removed made it a more concise effort without sacrificing the essence of its predecessor. It’s just plain fun to sit through.

MY SCORE: 7/10

The Amityville Horror (1979)

Directed by Stuart Rosenberg.

1979. Rated R, 119 minutes.

Cast:

James Brolin

Margot Kidder

Rod Steiger

Don Stroud

Murray Hamilton

Natasha Ryan

K.C. Martel

Meeno Peluce

Helen Shaver

Amy Wright

Irene Dailey

The Lutz family is shopping for a house. Even though George (Brolin) and Kathy (Kidder) are on a strict budget, they need a place big enough for them, Kathy’s three kids from a previous marriage and their dog. Fortunately, a house sitting right on the lake with more than enough property is available. It would normally go for an exorbitant price, but the real estate agent is desperate to get this one off the market. That has something to do with what happened a year ago. One of the prior residents lost it and killed his whole family. Yes, our prospective buyers are aware of this fact. But hey, the agent assures the Lutzes that their low-ball offer will be accepted so they make the deal and move in. This shouldn't be a problem because, as George says, “Houses don’t have memories.” Or, do they? Things go haywire promptly at 3:15 AM every night and anyone wearing any type of religious garb is rudely welcomed.

It isn't long before hell starts breaking loose which helps create tension early on, keeping us engaged. We’re not exactly sure what’s going to happen next, but we eagerly anticipate what that might be. Even better, the house seems to be working a divide and conquer scheme, mostly concentrating on George. More and more as the movie progresses he gets that far away look in his eyes, separates himself from the family and we’re just waiting for him to completely snap.

An interesting subplot is that of Father Delaney (Steiger) who shows up early to bless the house at the Lutz's request. How this story plays out runs perfectly alongside the main plot. It doesn't quite fit the haunted house motif, but it works by bolstering our understanding of the house’s power. It becomes a character with more than one dimension, proactive in what it’s doing to the family, reactive and defensive with those who may have the ability to stop it.

Thirty plus years since its release, The Amityville Horror is a movie that has to contend with history. First and foremost, it has to deal with the countless haunted house flicks that have come out since 1979. Many, if not all of them, are heavily influenced by this movie. Though not nearly as impactful on the viewer as it once might have been, it stands above most of the crowd. Helping it to do so is how the family is handled and the performances of the leads. Many of the genre’s entries trudge along way too slowly, showing the family’s mundane life in a feigned attempt at character development. Here, we get to to know them as the rest of the story unfolds. This doesn't make the Lutz family the most memorable lot, but it’s an effective way of telling the story.

That story and its history also loom large over the film. When it came out it was billed as a tale based mostly in fact. Over the years, how true that is has been debated heavily. Books have been written and interviews conducted, including with the real Lutz family. Their stories have changed several times and their credibility has become highly questionable. Conventional wisdom now says that the true story angle is a crock. Truthfully, this is neither here nor there with regards to the quality of the movie, just an interesting tidbit I thought I’d share.

As for the movie, it is still a very solid haunted house flick. It may come off as dated. Some of this is due to the look of the film and the fashions on display. The bigger problem, however, is that so many of the things this movie introduced have become old hat. Viewers without perspective may struggle to see what the big deal is. I’ll address them directly in case I somehow haven’t made it clear: all of the haunted house movies you love stole from this one.

MY SCORE: 7.5/10

Taken 2

Directed by Olivier Megaton.

2012. Rated PG-13, 92 minutes.

Cast:

Liam Neeson

Famke Janssen

Maggie Grace

Rade Sherbedgia

Leland Orser

Jon Gries

D.B. Sweeney

Luke Grimes

Kevork Malikyan

In case you've forgotten, Bryan Mills (Neeson) is a man with a very particular set of skills. He showcased them in the first Taken by killing a bunch of bad guys involved in the kidnapping of his daughter. It raked in all sorts of dough at the box office proving the world hasn't lost its penchant for Steven Seagal movies, so long as they don’t actually star Steven Seagal. This time around, the families of the deceased criminals want revenge against our hero. They descend upon Istanbul, where he is working – mostly at reconciling with his baby-mama Lenore (Janssen), herself going through a terrible break-up with her new hubby. Meanwhile, their still traumatized daughter Kim (Grace) hangs out by the hotel pool. She’s the last one to find out that mommy and daddy do indeed get taken. Of course, our hero manages to escape. Now he must work his way back to save his damsel in distress while also keeping his little girl safe.

In a continuation of the right-wing fantasies of its predecessor, itself a throwback to the 80s, Taken 2 does what it sets out to: show us Liam Neeson kicking Middle Eastern ass. Still, this aspect of the film is fun to watch regardless of your socio-political leanings because it is well executed action. Some of it is shot a little too tight for my taste, presumably to mask the star’s lack of athleticism, but it still looks good. Besides, the first thing most viewers will pick up on is that this is a guy trying to save his loved ones. Surprisingly, we take a little longer to get to the meat of the picture this time, but there’s still plenty of it.

Everything surrounding the action is generic, at best. It’s so much so, it feels like a copy and paste job from one of any number of movies. Most egregiously, it drops the ball on the easiest opportunity to build upon its predecessor and include some character development. We already understand Kim is still psychologically suffering from what happened not that long ago. However, being a teenager, she’s still upset when she finds out her old man used GPS to track her down at her boyfriend’s house, a guy he’s never met. Okay, fine. When she presses him on why he would do such a thing he sheepishly offers that he hears a lot of horror stories about things happening to young folks these days. Hears stories? Excuse me? What about the fact that I just recently had to go through hell and high water to rescue your taken ass? No mention of this? Sorry, but I would've had to lay into that ungrateful little…sigh. Let me take a deep breath.

Okay, enough about me. Suffice it to say the fact Bryan doesn't even mention the abduction both he and his daughter are still smarting from proves the people who wrote the movie have no passion for its story and view it as filler until the action starts. Why should we even pay attention when they can’t even be bother to make the hero seem like a real person. He wasn't a very deep guy the first time around, but there was something there. We felt for the guy. This time, he’s even more of a booming-voiced and unstoppable machine. Therefore, we have no reason to do anything other than doze off until we hear a loud noise.

MY SCORE: 5/10

Trouble with the Curve

Directed by Robert Lorenz.

2012. Rated PG-13, 111 minutes.

Cast:

Clint Eastwood

Amy Adams

Justin Tumberlake

John Goodman

Chelcie Ross

George Wyner

Matthew Lillard

Robert Patrick

Joe Massingill

Ed Lauter

Tom Nowicki

Gus Lobel (Eastwood) has been a baseball scout for the Atlanta Braves for forever and a day. He loves the game so much he even named his daughter Mickey (Adams) after Mickey Mantle, his all-time favorite player. As it eventually happens to most of us, Gus’ eyes are going on him. That’s an even bigger deal than normal given his job. It doesn't help that Philip (Lillard), the young hotshot in the front-office wants to phase him out and rely much more heavily on his new fangled computers.

Luckily for Gus, he’s still got one friend who thinks like him and is willing to go to bat for him. That’s Pete (Goodman), who also works in the front-office. He figures out what’s wrong with his buddy and, in hopes of saving Gus’ job, convinces Mickey to tag along with her dad on a scouting trip to watch highly-touted prospect Bo Gentry (Massingill). Bo literally gets a hit on the first pitch of every at-bat until the plot requires otherwise. Since he’s so good, he is also an insufferable jackass. Scouting Bo aside, the real question is whether Gus and Mickey can survive each other. They don’t have much of a relationship mostly because Gus is a crotchety old dude who isn't happy unless he’s ripping someone a new one. Think Clint’s character from Gran Torino sans racism and cool car.

Watching Eastwood and Adams play off one another is somewhat intriguing. They combine to create a genuine portrayal of two people who care for each other but can’t communicate without it getting testy. A little less effective is the telegraphed-from-a-mile-away romance between Adams’ character and Johnny “Flame” Flanagan played by Justin Timberlake. He’s a former pitcher once scouted by Gus who is now a rival scout for the Boston Red Sox. Some of their scenes together are fun, especially if you enjoy baseball trivia. Unfortunately, her overly pushy boyfriend treating their relationship like a business transaction plus the fact that Flanagan is the only other scout that doesn't qualify for AARP makes it feel too preordained for us to get worked up about.

Things go along well enough for a good deal of the run time, but dammit, we've got problems to solve. Best handled of these is Gus and Mickey’s relationship. It feels like a logical resolution. On the other end of the spectrum is Gus’ work issue and Mickey’s love affair. That love thing is handled exactly like you suspect it will be but were praying the filmmakers aren't that lazy. Sorry, they are.

That work issue is even more ridiculous. Being a baseball fan with friends who shun the hordes of new statistics out there, I am acutely aware that this movie plays as the exact counter-argument to the Brad Pitt flick Moneyball. Even so, what this movie comes up with is just way too contrived for its own good. Basically, it’s “look what fell out of the sky!” What we’re left with is a film that plucks along in an occasionally interesting manner, thanks to the performances of its leads, but never quite gets us emotionally involved enough to buy the ending.

MY SCORE: 5.5/10

Beasts of the Southern Wild

The Descendants

The Switch

Directed by Josh Gordon, Will Speck.

2010. Rated PG-13, 101 minutes.
Cast:
Jennifer Aniston
Jason Bateman

Patrick Wilson
Juliette Lewis
Jeff Goldblum
Thomas Robinson
Bryce Robinson
Todd Louiso
Kelli Barrett

Wally (Bateman) is a really nice guy. He’s a bit on the neurotic side, but a nice guy nonetheless. He’s also in love with Kassie (Aniston). They’ve tried dating once, but found they were more suited to a platonic relationship. At least she thinks so. They have been bestest buddies ever since. Unfortunately for him, he can’t seem to fight his way out of the friend zone. Suddenly, he’s in luck. SPOILER ALERT! Since he is the nice guy and this is a Jennifer Aniston rom-com, it’s inevitable that they’ll wind up together. It’s the how that provides us with a movie.

Kassie is really listening to the ticking of her biological clock. She’s not interested in getting married or even seriously dating anyone, for that matter. Still, she wants to have a baby. She logically decides to get artificially inseminated. In rapid fashion, she turns down Wally’s offer to be her donor and finds Roland (Wilson), a handsome dim bulb to do the same. So far, so good. However, here is where the plot gets completely contrived. At the behest of Debbie (Lewis), her other best friend, she throws an “insemination party.” Uh…no, this doesn’t involve Kassie in anything even remotely sexual so don’t get your hopes up. It’s a mostly regular party with two major differences. The first is that at some point there is a big announcement to let all the revelers know that Roland is off to the restroom to make it with a dirty magazine and a cup. Second, another announcement. This one will kick everyone out so that Kassie can have some privacy while performing the insemination herself. Huh? Who does this? Is there even a doctor present? Yup, we see him sitting on the sofa smoking a joint. Lovely.

Between the two announcements, a very drunk Wally heads to the bathroom to use it for its intended purpose. Of course, he finds himself alone with Roland’s donation. One thing leads to another and he winds up switching out Roland’s sample for one of his own, unbeknownst to anyone else. Ewww. Again, who does this? Needless to say, Kassie gets pregnant and moves far away to raise the baby in a safer place than New York City. Fast forward seven years and she moves back to the city with her son Sebastian (both Robinsons) in tow, who is obviously just like Wally. Our seed-switching hero agonizing over how to tell Kassie what he’s done and that he loves her ensues.

For a romantic comedy, The Switch is remarkably light on both elements. In place of romance, we get the aforementioned agonizing. We also get lots of bonding between Wally and his illegitimate son. Comedy is generally supplied by Debbie’s usually unfunny putdowns of Wally. Occasionally, we do get some real humor through a wonderful but underused Jeff Goldblum as Leonard, Wally’s boss. Aside from the ickiness of the actual switch, the movie moseys along plowing through genre clichés and banks on our inherent soft spot for the two stars. By that, I mean it hopes we have one for Bateman, it just knows we have one for Aniston. If you’re in the demographic they’re aiming at, have at it. If not, follow Wally’s lead and switch this out for a different specimen.

Real Steel

Directed by Shawn Levy.

2011. Rated PG-13, 127 minutes.
Cast:
Hugh Jackman
Dakota Goyo
Evangeline Lilly
Anthony Mackie
Kevin Durand
Hope Davis
James Rebhorn
Karl Yune
Olga Fonda

Charlie (Jackman) is a former prize-fighter who now makes his living in the world of robot boxing. Making a living is overstating things. Generally, he ducks the people he owes money to after whatever robot he’s picked off the scrap heap gets destroyed in a match. Along comes news that an ex-girlfriend, and mother of his child has passed away, leaving behind Max (Goyo), the son he’s abandoned. The kid’s wealthy aunt Debra (Davis) wants custody but needs Charlie to sign over his parental rights. Never one to miss an opportunity, Charlie brokers a deal with Deb’s husband Marvin (Rebhorn) to sell them his rights for a load of cash. One strange caveat to the deal: in order to keep Debra in the dark about the exchange of money, Charlie has to keep Max for a few weeks while his rich soon-to-be guardians are out of the country.

Once Max actually appears we know precisely how it will play out between him and his deadbeat dad. Ditto for Charlie and Bailey (Lilly) and their very PG love affair. The only possible surprise isn’t one if you’ve seen the trailer. It involves Atom, a seemingly inferior fighting robot with a very unique feature. Suffice it to say this part of the story is yet another re-working of Rocky. It comes complete with a physically superior champion and his villainous handlers.

If it isn’t obvious, there is pretty much no effort put into the plot. It’s completely perfunctory, taking no risks, holding no surprises nor posing any challenges. In a brief moment or two of artistic integrity, the filmmakers threaten to throw one wrinkle into things. We get a couple hints that there is more to Atom than meets the eye. Yes, the reference is intended. Anyhoo, they totally drop the ball on that idea to remain in the safety zone, give us more of the cheese borrowed from other cheesy flicks. In short, they want you to like this movie even though you’ve likely seen it quite a few times before.

Predictability be damned, there is only one real question to be answered: is Real Steel fun to watch. The answer is yes, in its own corny way. It moves at a brisk pace despite an unnecessarily bloated runtime of over two hours. It plays cute with the father/son angle and the final act contains lots more of the ‘bot fighting people likely come for. Jackman gives us Wolverine-lite, a less surly than the mutant and sans cigar. It’s a character we know and either somewhat like or somewhat dislike. The same can be said of Max and every other character in the film. By the way, Max is more of an adult than any of the other characters, too. Even my nine year old picked up on that. Max’s maturity aside, all of these people are just bland caricatures. They’re here to fill in the portions between fights not be too much of a distraction from them. The end result is an overwhelmingly OK movie that young boys will love watching with their dads. Boys of my age will wonder how it is possible that this isn’t called Rock’em Sock’em Robots.

MY SCORE: 5/10

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