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Top Five...and Dell's Top Five

Grown Ups 2

Directed by Dennis Dugan.

2013. Rated PG-13, 101 minutes.

Cast:

Adam Sandler

Kevin James

Chris Rock

David Spade

Salma Hayek

Maya Rudolph

Maria Bello

Taylor Lautner

Nick Swardson

Steve Buscemi

Colin Quinn

Tim Meadows

Jon Lovitz

Shaquille O’Neal

If you loved Grown Ups, you’re in luck. The whole gang is back for another comic adventure through their collective mid-life crisis. Well, almost the whole gang. Rob Schneider is conspicuously absent from this little reunion. The rest of the guys are present, though. This time around, big shot Lenny (Sandler) has already moved back to his hometown and spends as much time as possible goofing off with his buddies Kurt (Rock), Marcus (Spade), and Eric (James). They talk tough when their wives are not around and long to be boys again. Lenny is still having problems with an old bully from his school days. James is secretly spending every afternoon watching soaps with his mother. Spade, the only bachelor of the bunch, finds out he has a son who looks just like him but is roughly three times his size. So is the female body-builder he’s been sneaking around with. Rock just kind of shadw Sandler. As a group, they find themselves at odds with the frat jerks from the local college, led by the overly obnoxious Andy (Lautner). The guys, trying to figure out if they can still kick a little ass ensues.

As expected, each storyline is a running gag. Sometimes they work, other times they don’t. It might be better if it weren’t so repetitive. Therefore, what might be funny early grows tired. We start to anticipate, with solid accuracy, what variation of the joke is coming next. It doesn’t help that almost any character that is not part of the big four, or their wives, are walking punch-lines. I’ve already mentioned that Lautner is obnoxious. The female bodybuilder is manly, Stone Cold Steve Austin is boorish, and so on. Since this is an Adam Sandler flick, Nick Swardson is hanging around. The wives all play into the stereotype that the women we marry are really just our second mothers. So as not to upset the apple cart our story is paint-by-numbers, too.

That said, there is a certain amount of charm to the movie. For all of their flaws and immaturity, these are likable guys. Okay, that’s debatable in Spade’s case. Even though they play out in way over-the-top fashion, their problems are not terribly different than many in the target audience. Plenty of us forty-somethings have moments when we attempt to recapture our youth by trying to do “guy” stuff without our wives knowing. Plenty of us seek an innocent reprieve from them on occasion. Oddly, Sandler himself is a huge help in this regard. Despite the fact his character is wealthy and married to Salma Hayek (drool), he manages to give off a regular joe vibe. In essence, he speaks in his normal voice and gives us his subdued routine. The others make fools of themselves while he generally plays it straight.

Like with all Sandler movies, use however you feel about his other work as an aid when deciding whether to watch this or not. It would be wise to ignore the ones where he speaks with a kooky voice with a dumb accent and/or wears a wig such as That’s My Boy or You Don’t Mess with the Zohan. Instead, focus on your thoughts about those movies where he is more generic and family friendly like Bedtime Stories, Just Go With It, Click, and of course, the first Grown Ups. If he is tolerable to you in this guise then you might enjoy Grown Ups 2. Personally, I didn’t hate it and honestly found myself laughing more than I expected.

MY SCORE: 6/10

That's My Boy

Just Go with It

Directed by Dennis Dugan.

2011. Rated PG-13, 117 minutes.

Cast:

Adam Sandler

Jennifer Aniston

Brooklyn Decker

Nick Swardson

Nicole Kidman

Dave Matthews

Bailee Madison

Griffin Gluck

Kevin Nealon

Ratchel Dratch

Minka Kelly

Dan Patrick

Keegan-Michael Key

Ever since he was jilted at the altar twenty some odd years ago, Danny (Sandler) has been an unrepentant womanizer. He still wears the engagement ring he bought way back when as a decoy. When the woman he’s talking to notice it, he tells them how miserable his marriage is to gain sympathy points and to get in their pants. It usually works. When he meets Palmer (Decker), he thinks his days as a ladies’ man is done because she is the one. However, she actually wants to meet his wife to verify the two are actually getting a divorce. This is where Katherine (Aniston) comes in. Danny happens to be a top notch plastic surgeon and Katherine is his assistant. She agrees to pose as his soon-to-be-ex-wife during a lunch. When it slips that she has two children, Palmer naturally assumes they are also Danny’s kids. One thing leads to another and the whole gang of them, plus Danny’s cousin Eddie (Swardson), are off to Hawaii for a week of bonding that our hero hopes will end with he and Palmer living happily ever after.

If you want to know how this is going to play out, you only have to tap into your memory banks and do a little tweaking. Let me help. If these characters were in high school, Brooklyn Decker would be playing the hot and popular cheerleader while Jennifer Aniston play’s Sandler’s platonic best friend, hiding her beauty beneath a pony tail and glasses. Aniston really does sport that look, at least in the beginning. If that doesn’t help you, I don’t know what will.

Since we don’t have to worry about where the plot will take us, we only have to decide whether or not we find it funny. It is. In a few spots. Sandler doesn't do anything terribly different than normal so he’ll make you laugh as much, or as little as usual. Swardson is his buffoonish sidekick and mostly annoying, but does have a moment or two worthy of a laugh. The two kids have their moments, as well. Aniston is funny only when her character is “in character” as the over the top ex-wife. Nicole Kidman and Dave Matthews fare best as a couple Aniston desperately competes with in Hawaii. Finally, as an actress, Brooklyn Decker is a great swimsuit model.

Therein lies the rub. Ms. Decker is both the best and worst part of Just Go with It. As implied, her performance is entirely forgettable. Nothing she does suggests she is more than just a pretty face. She’s since failed to change my mind on that with her less than stellar work in Battleship and What to Expect When You’re Expecting. On the other hand, for pigs like me, the scene of her emerging from the ocean in a yellow bikini is indelible. It’s probably one of the best bikini scenes of any movie ever made. It completely overshadows a similar, less bombastic but still impressive moment featuring Aniston. Then again, what does it say about this film that these are by far the two best scenes? Other than causing envy in lots of viewers wishing that their own sexual dilemma is having to choose between these two ladies, it doesn't speak well. The only thing I clearly heard the movie say is Adam Sandler has lots of money and will spend any amount of it for a piece of ass.

Hotel Transylvania

Directed by Genndy Tartakovsky.

2012. Rated PG, 91 minutes.

Cast:

Adam Sandler

Selena Gomez

Kevin James

Steve Buscemi

Fran Drescher

Molly Shannon

David Spade

Cee Lo Green

Andy Samberg

After the passing of his wife, Count Dracula (Sandler) is left all alone with his little girl Mavis (Gomez). To provide a safe haven for them and other monsters, he decides to build a hotel where only they can come while he and Mavis will never have to leave. Every year, all of their monster friends gather to celebrate Mavis’ birthday. This one is special because it is her 118^th. Like normal 118 year olds, she wants to leave the castle and explore the world. She gets her wish, but thanks to a nifty setup by her dad, she finds out humans are every bit as rotten as he makes them out to be. When Dracula discovers a not-so-threatening human Jonathan (Samberg) on hotel grounds, he goes to great lengths to get rid of the unwanted visitor before Mavis and his guests find out.

Despite its use of just about every type of movie monster imaginable, Hotel Transylvania is really just a tale about an overprotective father and his daughter becoming an adult. It uses similar humor to what we’ve seen in other such movies, animated or not. It works, at times. It has more success with all the double-entendres it slips in. Most of these work fine as surface jokes for the kids, but also as slyly naughty bits for the parents in the audience.

The movie also works well when it is showcasing all of those monsters and making them as normal as possible. For instance, the werewolf (Buscemi) is a weary dad and husband with a boat-load of unruly kids; Frankenstein (James) is a big and strong but very insecure guy. His fragility epitomized by his literal coming apart at the seams. Our wicked witches provide hotel house cleaning. And on it goes. It puts characters we’ve known for a long time in a different light and has fun with it. Helping further, it effectively spoofs a number of traditional elements of monster lore. We get riffs on the seemingly endless number of secret corridors in movie castles and other such things.

Where parents and kids are likely to be most divergent in their opinions of this movie is when it shifts into manic musical mode. I’m sure the little ones will have a blast when Jonathan rocks out on the guitar, or raps, or when Dracula himself raps. For me, it came across as a reach for cool points with the youngsters that it didn’t need to make, not something organic to the story. It doesn’t help that during these scenes the characters are animated with the goofiest possible looks on their faces.

Musical numbers aside, for me at least, Hotel Transylvania is a fun flick. Even though it includes all the monsters, it never strives for kiddie horror. Still, it’s pretty slick with its inclusion of horror movie tropes. It even includes a moment or two that could almost be described as grisly (a pitchfork through a zombie’s head, for example). Our cast is also game. Adam Sandler does his best Bela Lugosi and even gets mocked for it. Steve Buscemi is perfect in his role, as are a number of others. If you’re looking for a Halloween appropriate movie for the children, this is a solid choice.

MY SCORE: 6.5/10

Zookeeper

Directed by Frank Coraci.

2011. Rated PG, 102 minutes.
Cast:
Kevin James
Rosario Dawson
Leslie Bibb
Ken Jeong
Donnie Wahlberg
Joe Rogan
Sylvester Stallone
Nick Nolte
Adam Sandler
Cher
Judd Apatow
Jon Favreau
Maya Rudolph
Faizon Love

Five years after being dumped by Stephanie (Bibb), the girl he planned on marrying, Griffin (James) still pines for her. When she pops up at his brother’s engagement party, he completely freaks out and desperately tries thinking up ways to get her back. Just so you understand what’s going on here, let’s explain a bit more. Stephanie left Griffin largely due t o the fact that he is indeed just a zookeeper, hence the title. She’s quite high maintenance and is looking for someone to finance the life she wants to lead. He also has an attractive co-worker named Kate (Dawson) whom he’s never thought of in “that way.” Kate’s obviously a more genuine person than Stephanie. So far we’re in pretty familiar rom-com territory and you can probably already figure out how this will end. Trust me, there are no surprises at all.

If you’ve seen any other romantic comedies then you know that our would be Romeo has friends that give him bad advice on how to win Stephanie’s heart. If you’ve seen the trailer then you’ve already guessed the only thing that makes this different from most movies of its kind. The friends are actually the animals at the zoo. Yes, they talk.

All comedies with talking animals can’t be terrible, can they? Let’s give this one a chance. After all, it can’t be that bad if George Clooney decided to lend his voice to it. Oh wait, that’s not Clooney. That’s Sly Stallone as Joe the Lion. That monkey is obviously Adam Sandler. Well, no need in watching the rest of this. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy for me. My youngest daughter has wanted to see this for months. I contemplate jumping up and kicking hole in the screen, then explaining that I saw a bug. That’s too costly. Hey, I think I just heard Cher…and Faizon Love…and Nick Nolte? Yup, that’s Nolte. My daughter chuckles. I’m screwed.

Resigned to my fate, I wade through the muck. Like I said, everything that happens plot-wise is telegraphed from the last thirty rom-coms you watched. There is the occasional laugh. The scene involving Griffin, Bernie the gorilla (Nolte) and a trip to T. G. I. Friday’s is the most amusing scene. Even that’s only worth a few snickers. At least Rosario Dawson is always nice to look at. Still, ogling her whenever she’s on the screen isn’t nearly enough to save this dreck. Skip it if you can. If not, you have my condolences.

MY SCORE: 2.5/10

Bedtime Stories

Directed by Adam Shankman.
2008. Rated PG, 99 minutes.
Cast:
Adam Sandler
Keri Russell
Guy Pearce
Courtney Cox

Plot: Hotel maintenance man Skeeter (Sandler) babysits his sister's kids for a few days while she's out of town. With their help, he comes up with elaborate bedtime stories which amazingly become reality.

The Good: It's so gosh-darn cute. The kids are cute. The stories are cute. The way they translate into reality is cute. Therefore, our viewing is sprinkled with chuckles and giggles. All of this helps to keep things moving along nicely as the movie bounds from one tale to the next.

The Bad: It's so gosh-darn cute. Since it is, it's not afraid to pile on the cheese. So, in between the giggles and chuckles you might be rolling your eyes a lot. It doesn't help that the plot is a paint-by-numbers job.

The Ugly: The Booger Monster.

Recommendation: This is solid family fare. The stories are inventive, so they hold your attention as the movie bounces merrily along. There's really not much here to offend even the hardcore prudes, but it is predictable. You're willing to forgive all that because, well, it's just so gosh-darn cute.

MY SCORE: 6.5/10

Grown Ups

Directed by Dennis Dugan.
2010. Rated PG-13, 102 minutes.
Cast:
Adam Sandler
Chris Rock
Kevin James
Rob Schneider
David Spade
Salma Hayek
Maria Bello
Maya Rudolph
Joyce Van Patten
Ebony Jo-Ann
Jamie Chung

A group of friends reunite for the funeral of their youth basketball coach. Sandler’s character is big time Hollywood agent married to a big time fashion designer played by Salma Hayek. This means we get a lot of his kids acting ridiculously spoiled and him trying to hide how rich he is by pretending his nanny is a foreign exchange student. Chris Rock feels underappreciated by his wife, played by the most underrated Saturday Night Live alum in recent memory, Maya Rudolph. Kevin James has also done pretty well for himself despite being a goofball and having a wife, played by Maria Bello, that still breastfeeds their four year old son anytime, any place. Rob Schneider is a neurotic vegetarian married to a woman at least 25 years his senior, Joyce Van Patten does the honors. He also has some very attractive daughters from a previous marriage. Finally, David Spade enjoys the single life. Go fill in the blanks.

Yup, this happens and that, and that too. Oh, forgot to mention the guys they beat in the championship game way back when want a rematch. So yeah, that happens too, just like that. Nothing takes place we don’t see coming.

All of our heroes are their usual wacky selves, with each pretty much sticking to the personas they’ve crafted over the years. Sandler fares best because his “everyman” act requires the least effort. While everyone else is typically over the top, he’s pretty even keel. He provides a solid foundation for the others to stand on, or jump off as their penchant for shenanigans might dictate.

What we end up with is a slapstick comedy that’s predictable, but funny in spots. Perhaps, the most interesting thing about it is that the cast is an extremely polarizing one. Most of us either love these guys or hate them with no middle ground. Decide accordingly.

MY SCORE: 5.5/10

Funny People

Directed by Judd Apatow.
2009. Rated R, 153 minutes.
Cast:
Adam Sandler
Seth Rogen
Leslie Mann
Eric Bana
Jonah Hill
Jason Schwartzman
Aubrey Plaza
Aziz Ansari
RZA
Torsten Voges
Justin Long

Plot: Comedian/movie star George Simmons (Sandler) hires still wet behind the ears comic Ira (Rogen) to write material for him. He’s also just found out he’s dying. Bromance ensues.

The Good: For director Apatow, this is pretty easily his most mature and complex work. The same can be said for Seth Rogen and possibly for Sandler, as well. Despite it being about comedians, it isn’t necessarily the funniest movie for any of them. Believe it, or not, that’s a good thing. Instead of spending time being outrageous and crass simply for the sake of it, we actually get character and relationship development. As a result, we’re more interested in what happens to them. Adam Sandler gives his bravest performance, parodying himself.

The Bad: Its way too long. As usual, Apatow is sorely in need of an independent thinking editor. Two and a half hour comedies tend to drag and this is no exception. There’s no doubt in my mind, it could get to its point about 30 minutes quicker. However, if the movie could use more of anything, it is George’s relationship with his own father. It’s talked about and built up as if it’s coming to some dramatic climax, but it never does.

The Ugly: Ira (Rogen) going ballistic on Daisy (Plaza) for cheating on him. You have to see it to understand.

Recommendation: Given the track records of nearly everyone involved, this is a movie bound to disappoint many and surprise others. If you’re looking for a gross-out comedy built on a foundation of four-letter words, look elsewhere. There are plenty of cuss words but they seem organic to the conversations, not just there for effect like in Apatow’s other work. It’s an involving piece of work that a lot of people just won’t like.

The Opposite View: Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times

What the Internet Says: 6.8/10 on imdb.com (9/28/10), 68% on rottentomatoes.com, 60/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: 7.5/10

Bedtime Stories

Bedtime Stories
2008. Rated PG, 99 minutes.
Director: Adam Shankman. Starring Adam Sandler, Keri Russell, Guy Pearce, Courtney Cox, Russell Brand, Richard Griffiths, Teresa Palmer, Nick Swardson, Lucy Lawless, Carmen Electra.

Plot: Hotel maintenance man Skeeter (Sandler) babysits his sister's kids for a few days while she's out of town. With their help, he comes up with elaborate bedtime stories which amazingly become reality.

The Good: It's so gosh-darn cute. The kids are cute. The stories are cute. The way they translate into reality is cute. Therefore, our viewing is sprinkled with chuckles and giggles. All of this helps to keep things moving along nicely as the movie bounds from one tale to the next.

The Bad: It's so gosh-darn cute. Since it is, it's not afraid to pile on the cheese. So, in between the giggles and chuckles you might be rolling your eyes a lot. It doesn't help that the plot is a paint-by-numbers job.

The Ugly: The Booger Monster.

Recommendation: This is solid family fare. The stories are inventive, so they hold your attention as the movie bounces merrily along. There's really not much here to offend even the hardcore prudes, but it is predictable. You're willing to forgive all that because, well, it's just so gosh-darn cute.

The Opposite View: Jim Hill, Channel 4 Film

What the Internet Says: 6.2/10 on imdb.com (4/29/09), 22% on rottentomatoes.com, 33/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 6.5/10