31 Days of Horror: Poltergeist (2015)

Seven Psychopaths

Directed by Martin McDonagh.

2012. Rated R, 110 minutes.

Cast:

Colin Farrell

Sam Rockwell

Woody Harrelson

Christopher Walken

Tom Waits

Abbie Cornish

Linda Bright Clay

Olga Kurylenko

Gabourey Sidibe

Michael Stuhlbarg

Helena Mattsson

Kevin Corrigan

Marty (Farrell) is a Hollywood screenwriter and the world is anxiously awaiting his next masterpiece. He’s titled it “Seven Psychopaths,” but that’s pretty much as far as he’s gotten. His bestest buddy Billy (Rockwell) wants to help him write the thing and offers up some inspiration in the form of a story he heard in a bar and a newspaper article about an actual nut job, still at large, called the Jack ‘O Diamonds killer who goes around murdering members of the mob. Before long, real life intervenes when Billy’s “job” brings a genuine psychopath their way. He’s part of a dog-napping scheme with Hans (Walken). The two snatch up some poor unsuspecting canine then later return it to the owner for the reward money. It just so happens that their latest acquisition belongs to local gangster Charlie (Harrelson). Let’s just say he’s not planning on paying to get his dog back.

From the outset, we realize this is going to be a hyper-violent comedy. That the scenery will be blood-soaked is a given. The question is whether or not it can maintain the humor aspect. Thankfully it does, for the most part. Writer-director Martin McDonagh, who gave us the incredible In Bruges, crafts a script that’s borderline self-parody. It echoes sentiments others may have about his own work or of these sorts of movies, in general, purposely and sarcastically reinforcing them. Most noticeably, this includes apparent misogyny. Through other characters questioning Marty on his handling of his female characters, it becomes McDonagh fielding questions from critics. Through the course of the movie, his answer seems to be a defiantly waved middle finger. This doesn't make what happens pro-feminist in any way, but makes it easier to take because we sense the movie is aware of what it’s doing and simply trying to push our buttons.

The actors themselves also help push our buttons. Pulling off the delicate balance between graphic violence and snarky humor always requires strong performances. This movie has them in spades. The constant banter between Farrell and Rockwell works wonderfully as both men turn in stellar work. To compliment them, Woody Harrelson and Chrisopher Walken absolutely steal every scene either of them are in. This keeps the movie moving along at a snappy pace. Between the action and these guys tearing up the screen, Seven Psychopaths is a hard film to take your eyes off.

The biggest drawback to SP is that, at times, it feels overly influenced by early Guy Ritchie and Quentin Tarantino. This could very easily be mistaken as part of either director’s filmography (sans the British accents for Ritchie). Honestly though, McDonagh is a skilled enough filmmaker to make this is a good thing. More than just aping the movies we love, it stands alongside them as a sharp-tongued and mercilessly violent dark comedy that is at once absurd and sublime.

The Sitter

Directed by David Gordon Green.

2011. Rated R, 87 minutes (unrated version).

Cast:

Jonah Hill

Sam Rockwell

Max Records

Landry Bender

Kevin Hernandez

Ari Graynor

J.B. Smoove

Method Man

Kylie Bunbury

Noah (Hill) is a college dropout who doesn’t have nor want a job. He’s sorta in a relationship with Marisa (Graynor). To say it’s a one-sided affair is far beyond putting it lightly. It consists of her persuading him to perform oral sex on her after which she finds some excuse to rush him out the door. He slinks home to his video games. It should go without saying that he lives with his mom. She’s divorced but going on a double date with a neighborhood couple, the Pedullas, who are setting her up with one of their friends. When the couple’s normal sitter can’t make it, Noah’s mom asks him to step in. He agrees, but only because he wants to see her have a good time. As expected, the three children he is to watch are merely different levels of nightmare. This is only the beginning of his problems. The catalyst for his other issues is a phone call from Marisa during which she promises they really will “go all the way” if he does her a huge favor: go see her dealer, Karl (Rockwell), score some heroin and bring it to the party she’s attending. Since Noah is way past desperate, he agrees. No, things don’t go smoothly at all. Hijinks and shenanigans involving children and drug pushers ensue.

The Sitter simply wants to be a raunchy comedy featuring Jonah Hill as a slightly older version of characters he’s played in the past. This would be fine if it weren’t all so utterly unfunny, predictable, and arguably offensive in its depiction of minorities. Most of the jokes are both unoriginal and telegraphed from a mile away. Likewise for any and all plot twists. Yes, you will know in advance when he (or one of the other kids in one case) will teach the children valuable life lessons and exactly what they will be. Unsurprisingly, all of the various storylines are tidied up in an overly simple manner.

Within the plot and jokes we already know are a gathering of stereotypes. Noah’s mom and the parents of the kids he’s sitting are cardboard cutouts of the parents from every other similarly themed movie. Marisa is the hot, but not so good for you girl. There’s also Roxanne (Bunbury), the friendly girly who’s been there all along. Rodrigo (Hernandez), the Hispanic kid the Pedullas adopted is a heavy accented pyromaniac. Our hero inevitably winds up in a bar where all the patrons are black thugs. Finally, there’s Karl, the super macho but possibly homosexual drug dealer played by Sam Rockwell. His lair looks like a gay porn set for those with a muscle fetish. Incidentally, the way this character is portrayed clashes pretty badly with one of those life lessons.

Thankfully, The Sitter clocks in under 90 minutes. It still manages to drag since it’s so predictable and just labors through cliché after cliché and bad joke after bad joke, never doing its own thing. The very few laughs to be had are spread pretty far apart. They drown in an ocean of uninspired writing that sends waves of flat punch lines crashing into us.

MY SCORE: 3/10

Cowboys and Aliens

Directed by Jon Favreau.

2011. Rated PG-13, 118 minutes.
Cast:
Daniel Craig
Harrison Ford
Olivia Wilde
Sam Rockwell
Paul Dano
Clancy Brown
Keith Carradine
Noah Ringer
Adam Beach
Abigail Spencer
Ana de la Reguera

Occasionally, I go into a movie not really knowing what to expect. Such is the case when I sit down to watch Cowboys and Aliens. Yup, it’s yet another movie based on a graphic novel I’m not cool enough to even have heard of. Judging by the title, I sorta think I’m in for a wild, campy ride that’s possibly so bad it’s awesome. Let’s be honest, Cowboys and Aliens doesn’t exactly scream art house cinema. On top of that, Jon Favreau is the director. He’s injected so much well-timed humor into the Iron Man franchise it should be easy doing the same for something with such a kooky title. Then again, the star is Daniel Craig. As an actor, I’ve seen him in a number of different guises: action hero, crusading reporter, lover of old women, etc. A barrel of laughs, he is not. Sure enough, once the movie starts it’s pretty obvious we’re playing things straight.

Our hero wakes up quite literally in the middle of nowhere and remembers nothing of his life to that point except how to fight. We gather that from the way he handles the trio of bumpkins who happen upon him. More importantly, he notices a futuristic metallic bracelet locked onto his left wrist. He wanders to the nearest town, learns his name is Jake (Craig, duh) and he’s an outlaw. We get a few scenes to establish Jake as a real badass then the aliens show up. A bunch of townspeople get snatched up, Jake’s bracelet seems to activate on its own and he takes down one of the extraterrestrial planes by firing a blast from it. One of those abducted is Percy Dolarhyde (Dano). He’s the son of wealthy, ruthless cattleman Colonel Woodrow Dolarhyde (Ford). Don’t call him colonel, though. He hates that. As always, there’s a girl. This one is named Ella (Wilde). She seems to know more than Jake about his own past. The two of them plus the grumpy old colonel set off trying to find the missing folk.

Aside from the fact that all the good guys ride horses and fire six shooters or shotguns, Jake’s bracelet aside, C and A isn’t much different from other alien invasion flicks. The creatures exist merely to destroy everything in their path. Humans exist merely to stop them. Playing it straight, without even a hint of satire or self-awareness dictates that this is how it must be. It’s uniqueness is completely tied to its setting. The storytelling and characters are all fairly stock. It helps that Harrison Ford is exceptional in his role and gives us much of the humor. A few of the bit characters are also great in this regard. Daniel Craig is a fine actor, but doesn’t give us anything special. He’s pretty much doing Bond in a western. Olivia Wilde is pretty. Sorry, that’s all she gives us. It’s a Megan Fox-like performance: a gorgeous face doing nothing.

What’s left then, are the action scenes. They come frequently enough and entertain. The mixture of old-school western and high-tech aliens gives us an interesting juxtaposition. They’re never a preposterous pair. Though these scenes are fun, they’re hardly tense. They should be, particularly when humans are getting snatched off their horses and appear like tails on a kite as they trail the alien ships. However, it rarely rises above the level of “did you see that?” That works out okay. I guess. However, it would be so much better if we could not only see it, but actually feel it. We never do. Part of the problem is that like most recent movie aliens, the invaders are faceless and seemingly thoughtless snarling creatures that do little to justify the higher intelligence assigned to them. The humans only fare slightly better.

The whole thing does what it sets out to do, but fails to set itself apart. It feels like a massive opportunity has been missed. The alien invasion genre is ripe for skewering. Clichés are abundant, even within this film. There is ample material to examine. C and A never attempts anything deeper and/or funnier than a straightforward affair. It takes an inventive premise and does nothing with it, satisfied with being run-of-the-mill. At being run-of-the-mill, it’s not terrible. It moves along quickly and supplies us with a solid amount of visual thrills. It’s light on the chills, but fun enough to compensate. For a movie night gathering, it should do the trick. It’s just a shame that something with the potential to be so memorable is so not.

MY SCORE: 5/10

Everybody's Fine

Directed by Kirk Jones.
2009. Rated PG-13, 99 minutes.
Cast:
Robert De Niro
Kate Beckinsale
Sam Rockwell
Drew Barrymore
Lucian Maisel
Damian Young
James Frain
Melissa Leo

Frank (De Niro) has recently become a widower. He lives alone while his four adult-children live in four different cities across the country. They are supposed to come see him this weekend for a small family reunion. However, they all cancel at the last minute. Frank then decides to go on a journey to pay each of them a surprise visit.

Of course, Frank discovers that he doesn’t know nearly as much about his kids as he thought. In addition, we’d be hard pressed to say they even give a crap about him, the way they shoo him from one destination to the next. And yes, each of his offspring phones ahead to the next one he’s going to see, so the surprise is shot pretty early.

The melodrama mounts as we, and Frank, realize his kids have been duping him for a long time about a great number of things. Sadly, there’s little mystery. We know that this is all just hurtling towards some great revelations and a happy ending. To make matters worse, we’re robbed of the big dramatic moments and the histrionics that one par for the course for such movies. True, they would’ve been cliché, but they may have added some life to the proceedings. Instead, everything is revealed, to us and Frank, through a supernatural event that fits this movie like a round peg in square hole.

Those of you prone to crying over movies will probably have a few of your tears jerked. For me, it comes off as way too hokey and undeserving of its impressive cast.

MY SCORE: 5.5/10

Gentlemen Broncos

Directed by Jared Hess.
2009. Rated PG-13, 90 minutes.
Cast:
Michael Angarano
Jennifer Coolidge
Jermaine Clement
Halley Feiffer
Héctor Jiménez
Sam Rockwell
John Baker

Benjamin Purvis (Angarano) is an aspiring sci-fi writer and a bit of a loner. His mom, played by American Pie’s original MILF, Jennifer Coolidge, sends him off to a writer’s camp. By the way, she’s an aspiring fashion designer. Once there, he is befriended by the pushy Tabatha (Feiffer) and her sidekick/independent filmmaker Lonnie (Jiménez). The best part of the camp, as far as Benjamin is concerned is that the keynote speaker and judge of the manuscript contest is famed sci-fi author Chevalier (Clement). Before the rest of the people in the movie, we learn that Chevalier is in danger of being dropped by his publisher since his last few books have tanked and the one he’s working on is apparently terrible. On the other hand, everyone seems to love Benjamin’s work. Hmm, I wonder where this is headed.

What follows is a quirky comedy filled with awkward moments and passages from our hero’s story playing out in front of our eyes, performed mostly by Sam Rockwell. It’s brought to us by Jared Hess, the creator of Napoleoon Dynamite. Even without that tidbit of info we can recognize the same style of humor. The tone and delivery of lines are largely identical. The difference is Napoleoon Dynamite has better jokes and note-perfect performances. GB feels like a lame imitation. It has its moments but they merely garner mild chuckles, not all out laughter. I’m sure there are some who will swear I just didn’t get it. Maybe they’re right. In any event, despite its best efforts, GB never quite captures the magic of Napoleoon Dynamite. If you’re one of those who just hate Napoleoon Dynamite then stay far, far away from this one.

Iron Man 2