Ninja Assassin

Directed by James McTeigue.
2009. Rated R, 99 minutes.
Cast:
Rain
Naomie Harris
Ben Miles
Rick Yune
Shô Kosugi
Anna Sawai
Joon Lee

Raizo, played by the singularly and mystically named Rain, has turned his back on his family. His family is not like yours. They are the infamous Ozunu clan. The Ozunu clan is one of the infamous “nine clans” that has apparently been supplying ninjas to work as assassins for governments or “anyone who has gold” for thousands of years. They are, of course, led by Ozunu (Kosugi). How old is this guy? Shouldn’t he be Ozunu XXV or something? Alas, that’s not important.

When we meet Raizo, he is roughly 9 or 10 years old and under the tutelage of Ozunu, along with about a couple dozen other kids of about the same age. A few of them are girls. How did Ozunu become the sole guardian of all these children? That’s not important, either. What is important is that it’s a secret ninja training compound. It’s so secret, Ozunu seems to run the place with absolute autonomy. There doesn’t even appear to be any staff to help run the place. You guessed it, that’s not important.

What is sorta important is that Raizo flew the coup and his family is out to kill him for it. They are also out to kill Mika (Harris), the Europol agent who has picked up their scent and wants to put a stop to all this ninja madness.

What is really important is that everything you’ve read so far gives a great excuse for some nasty, nasty ninja fights. All manner of sharp, shiny metallic weaponry whirls about while the people using them do the same. Losers in these fights generally end up as a group of parts on the floor in a puddle of blood. One rather unlucky young lady ends up in a dryer. Speaking of blood, it’s obviously cgi, but it splatters everywhere. Even I ended up with a few red stains on my shirt.

The dialogue that drives this vehicle is hokey, at best. Lots of things make little or no sense. For instance, when you watch it please tell me where you think Ozunu’s compound is located based on how things play out. Why the hell would he have it there? Did it move, or is it me? Wait a minute…that’s not important. It is important that we move very quickly from one genuinely fun action sequence to the next. Oh, and a still breathing ninja has no need for Neosporin, band-aids or even stitches. It all adds up to a movie that’s so bad, it’s awesome!

The Opposite View: Movies so bad they're awesome are exempt.

What the Internet Says: 6.4/10 on imdb.com (6/27/10), 25% on rottentomatoes.com, 34/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: -10/10

Good Hair

Directed by Jeff Stilson.
2009. Rated PG-13, 96 minutes.
Cast:
Chris Rock
Nia Long
Sarah Jones
Rev. Al Sharpton
Tracie Thoms
Raven Symone
Ice-T
Lauren London
Andre Harrell
Maya Angelou
Melyssa Ford

Plot: A documentary in which comedian Chris Rock explores the world of Black hair, particularly of Black women.

The Good: It takes an in-depth look at a subculture of Black society and shows its effect on Black culture as a whole, as well as its far reaching economic impact. Though it obviously favors one side over the other, it does manage to give us a fair amount of the opposing view and benefits of what’s going on to achieve a solid balance. It’s also funny. Chris Rock does generate a solid amount of laughter but most of it actually comes from the people he talks to in the barbershops, beauty salons and at the hair shows. This keeps things light even as the subject becomes heavy. The coverage of one particular hair show, the Bonner Brothers show really adds little to the movie but it’s over the top fun in a reality TV train wreck sort of way.

The Bad: The movie flinches twice. First, it rightfully makes a big deal about how toxic hair relaxer is, yet it never presses the issue with the execs at a Black-owned hair care manufacture that Rock spends a lot of time with. Nor does it present the information to mothers of the really young girls we’re shown having it put in their daughters’ hair. Second, the issue of employability of Black women who choose to wear their hair natural as opposed to straightened is also raised. Again, it’s a subject that needs to be explored but we never find out how any employers feel about this. Even if they only would’ve said “the right things” or hit us with a “no comment” we’re robbed of the opportunity to gauge their body language.

The Ugly: What happens to a soda can when it’s left in a vat of relaxer.

Recommendation: Since its subject matter is so relevant to its target audience, I feel comfortable saying this is among the most important documentaries the Black community has ever seen. If you think I’m overstating things, drive through a predominantly Black neighborhood anywhere in the United States. Pay attention, not only to the craftsmanship of the hairstyles you see but to the amount of salons and what’s on the advertising posters. Ultimately, it probably won’t change anything but it is vital information that is made entertaining and easily accessible. If you’re not Black, it’s a look into a world you may not have known anything about. That said, if you just can’t understand the relevance of a documentary about hair, knock my score down at least two points.

The Opposite View: Melissa Anderson, Village Voice

What the Internet Says: 6.9/10 on imdb.com (6/27/10), 94% on rottentomatoes.com, 72/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: 9/10

Greatest Basketball Movies

Another basketball season has come and gone. What should you do about getting your basketball fix? If you’re lucky, like me, you live in an area where there’s some good summer hoops to take in. Here in the Triangle (in North Carolina) we have an excellent annual pro-am event starting up next week. So last year I got an advanced viewing of John Wall against pro and major college talent. Some of you may have seen the youtube vid of him dunking on Jerry Stackhouse; same league. Unfortunately, I wasn’t there that night, but he did some impressive stuff when I was there.

If you’re not so lucky maybe you can catch some NBA summer league games on cable. Honestly, I usually don’t bother with that. How about mixing in some drama with your b-ball? If you go that route, these are my greatest basketball movies of all time...

10. The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh
Moses Gunn, played by the awesome Julius "Dr. J" Erving, is on a fictional pro team in Pittsburgh. He's great but the team sucks. One of Gunn's fans, who's like 15 years old, gets hired & he in turn brings in a psychic who decides the only way this team will succeed is if they bring in all new players that were born under the sign of Pisces cuz Moses Gunn is a pisces. I'm not even making this up. Movie critics the world over will tell how much it sucks but I love it.

9. Above the Rim
Tupac is the local gangsta that runs the street-ball world. The rest of the cast, including star Duane Martin, is capable but at the end of the day it's Pac's charisma that carries the movie. Throw in solid work by the always underrated Leon & we have the makings of a 'hood classic.

8. The Heart of the Game
We follow the Roosevelt Rough Riders, a Seattle high school girls’ basketball team. Their eccentric coach Bill Resler is infectious. He keeps things as loose as possible. However, the real heart of this documentary is star player Darnellia Russell and the trials and tribulations she goes through.

7. Love & BasketballOkay, so an all-out chick-flick makes the cut. Sanaa Lathan & Omar Epps grow up as extremely talented ball-playing next door neighbors who happen to have a thing for each other. Admittedly, even with plenty of basketball being played throughout (the movies even physically broken into four "quarters" like a game is) it boils down to being a romance. For this movie, and one other on this list, I can let that slide.

6. Rebound: The Legend of Earl “The Goat” Manigault
Based on the true rise, fall & rise of NY playground legend Earl "The Goat" Manigault. One of my faves, Don Cheadle, is in the lead-role. Growing up & playing a lot of ball in the city, I heard plenty of stories about "The Goat" so maybe nostalgia gets it this high up on the list but it really is a very good movie. The only one on the list that was made-for-tv. HBO did the honors & they generally make much better movies than other networks.

5. White Men Can't Jump
Woody Harrelson & Wesley Snipes take advantage of the stereotype that white guys aren't as good at basketball as black guys & hustle on various courts in L.A. Lots of basketball and hilarity ensues. Of course, it's the love story that plays out between Harrelson & one of the women of my dreams, Rosie Perez that provides the movie with balance. Well, it really makes it a bit of a chick-flick but for Rosie I'll make an exception.

4. Soul in the Hole
This documentary contains exhilarating, New York City streetball and gut-wrenching drama as we follow two basic storylines. First, we watch the “Kenny Kings” try to go undefeated through the summer. Second, and this is the tough part, we watch the relationship between the team’s coach Kenny Jones and his star player Ed “Booger” Smith, whom Kenny has taken in and cared for as if he were his own son. No one who has seen this movie will ever forget “Booger.”

3. He Got GameThe story of Jesus, Shuttlesworth, that is. Director Spike Lee takes on the college recruiting game & scores big. Real NBA baller Ray Allen plays the lead but helping to elevate a suspect cast are Rosario Dawson as the opportunistic (read: gold digging) girlfriend & the already legendary Denzel Washington as the dad trying to persuade his son. It’s edgy, funny & not given nearly enough credit for predicting the hype surrounding the high school career of LeBron James. Yup, that's what I said.

2. Hoosiers
For many, this is the quintessential sports movie not just basketball movie. It’s Rocky on the hardwood. Gene Hackman is pure genius as the new head coach who has to deal with all the local riff-raff telling him how to do his job. If the story of an underdog high school basketball team in Indiana doesn’t warm your heart, you don’t have one.


1. Hoop Dreams
The intertwining, yet independent tales of William Gates and Arthur Agee make for arguably, the greatest sports documentary of all time. We meet the boys just as they are about to enter high school and leave about a year after they graduate. What happens in between is touching, sad, triumphant, wonderful, bittersweet and just perfect filmmaking.


Just Rimmed Out (honorable mention):

The Air Up There
Blue Chips
Coach Carter
Glory Road
The Great Santini
Gunnin' For That #1 Spot
More Than a Game
Pistol: The Birth of a Legend
Semi-Pro
Space Jam
Sunset Park
Teen Wolf

Bricks (terrible):

The 6th Man
Celtic Pride
Crossover
Juwanna Mann
O
Rebound

DNP - Coach's Decision (haven't seen):

Eddie
Finding Forrester
Forget Paris
A Season on the Brink
That Championship Season

The Good Shepherd

Directed by Robert De Niro.
2006. Rated R, 167 minutes.
Cast:
Matt Damon
Angelina Jolie
Alec Baldwin
Tammy Blanchard
Billy Crudup
Robert De Niro
Michael Gambon
William Hurt
Timothy Hutton

The Good Shepherd is a dramatization of the events that led to the creation of the CIA. It also dramatizes the agency’s earliest days, specifically it’s involvement in the Bay of Pigs. We see things through the eyes of Edward Wilson (Damon). He’s a fictional character, but like almost everyone else in the movie, he’s based on a real-life person.

The film plays like Edward’s rise through the ranks to become the CIA director and the problems his unwavering dedication to country has caused in his marriage. However, from within the twists and turns of a spy movie emerges a film much more about father-son relationships. The absence of Wilson’s dad, who committed suicide when Edward was just a young boy, hangs over the movie. Then there are the various men who assume mentorship of Edward and the problems of trust bound to arise from associating only with people engaged in espionage. Finally, there’s Edward’s relationship with his own son that we don’t realize is important until the final act.

For enthusiasts of the genre, there are plenty of spy games played. These have the added advantage of being based on true events without stylizing them. Still, it’s not an easy movie to watch. It’s a largely monotone affair in which dialogue is almost always spoken calmly and often whispered. Matt Damon’s performance perfectly embodies all the movie wants to be. Some will be turned off by his emotionless portrayal but that’s precisely what his character is supposed to be. He handles the role well.

It is also a dialogue heavy movie that asks you to pay close attention. What happens between sentences and offscreen drive the movie. Offscreen is where most of what would be action scenes in another movie takes place. Because of this, many would consider it boring, and may have trouble following. It can indeed be difficult to delineate what exactly the point of all this is since it purposely builds slowly towards it. If you’re looking for an adrenaline rush, steer clear. If you want intrigue and don’t mind it in hushed tones, have at it.

MY SCORE: 8/10

The Box

Directed by Richard Kelly.
2009. Rated PG-13, 116 minutes.
Cast:
Cameron Diaz
James Marsden
Frank Langella
James Rebhorn
Holmes Osborne
Sam Oz Stone
Gillian Jacobs

Plot: A couple with some new financial concerns is given a mysterious box by an even more mysterious man. They are then told if they choose to press the button on top of the box they will receive one million dollars in cash. However, someone they don’t know will die.

The Good: The choices with which our heroes are faced are incredibly fascinating. This holds true for not only the initial decision but the final one, as well. Because of this, it’s a great conversation starter. Throw in that it’s a religious (anti-religious?) parable and it not only starts conversations but can keep them going. The movie itself moves very well and presents one startling situation after another to bring you to the edge of your seat. As our villain, of sorts, Frank Langella is sufficiently aloof and detached from the proceedings. If you haven’t seen it, that sounds bad but it’s precisely what the role calls for.

The Bad: As interesting as its beginning and ending are, there are several points in the middle that might make it easy to give up on. The problem is the way it chooses to build its metaphors and try to be creepy feel kind of hokey. The basic pattern goes like this: something happens, you roll your eyes, then something else happens to explain what you rolled your eyes at and you’re okay with it. Well, it’s going to lose lots of people during one or another of those eye-rolling moments. I can hear tons of people saying “I just couldn’t get into it.” Lastly, I could also see people thinking this movie hates women. There is certainly a case to be made. At the very least, it seems very upset with them over that whole getting us kicked out of the Garden of Eden thing that happened a while back.

The Ugly: Southern accents seem to come and go as they please.

Recommendation: I thoroughly enjoyed this but understand many will quickly dismiss it, leaving me alone on an island. I was intrigued from the start and I almost always like movies that leave you something to debate, as this one does. Go in with an open mind but if you don’t like it, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

The Opposite View: Claudia Puig, USA Today

What the Internet Says: 5.9/10 on imdb.com (6/25/10), 45% on rottentomatoes.com, 47/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: 7.5/10

Drag Me to Hell

Astro Boy

Directed by David Bowers.
2009. Rated PG, 94 minutes.
Cast:
Freddie Highmore
Nicolas Cage
Kristen Bell
Donald Sutherland
Bill Nighy
Samuel L. Jackson
Eugene Levy
Charlize Theron

Plot: After his son is killed during a demonstration gone awry, Dr. Tenma (Cage) builds a robotic version of his tyke outfitted with the latest weaponry and boosters in his boots.

The Good: It manages to be fun without being overly stupid. It doesn’t talk down to its target audience. It also resists the urge to cater to parents and doesn’t purposely put in a bunch of jokes that they know will go over the heads of the kids watching. When we get action, it’s a blast watching Astro Boy zip back and forth across the screen.

The Bad: The go-green subtext is a bit heavy-handed. However, the kids may not pick up on that. What they might notice is that both of our villains are a bit underdeveloped. They’re not as menacing as they could’ve been.

The Ugly: Did they really have to give him "butt guns"?

Recommendation: This is a fun, quick hour and a half. As far as kiddie flicks go, its not in the class of the best animated movies of the last couple years, but it’s successful in its own right. The kids will be thoroughly entertained and adults will probably not be squirming to get out of the room.

The Opposite View: Amy Biancolli, San Francisco Chronicle

What the Internet Says: 6.4/10 on imdb.com (6/23/10), 48% on rottentomatoes.com, 53/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: 6/10