Fantastic Four

Man on a Ledge

The Adventures of Tintin

Directed by Steven Spielberg.

2011. Rated PG, 107 minutes.

Cast:

Jamie Bell

Andy Serkis

Daniel Craig

Nick Frost

Simon Pegg

Toby Jones

Daniel Mays

Gad Elmaleh

We kinda sorta meet Tintin (Bell) and his dog. He buys a model ship, and people immediately start trying to buy it from him. When he won’t sell, they try stealing it. Should he get killed in the process, the bad guys won’t think it such a big deal. That’s The Adventures of Tintin in a nutshell. Actually, that’s it, almost entirely. The only other thing you need to know is eventually he teams up with an alcoholic sea-captain whom the bad guys, one of whom looks suspiciously like the movie's director, want to keep around for some reason. Lots of swashbuckling ensues.

My main problem with Tintin is that’s all there is. We get no set up and are thrust into the adventure with no emotional attachment to anything on the screen. Director Steven Spielberg is certainly no stranger to telling his story through action. He did a masterful job of just that in Saving Private Ryan. The difference is through that action, including very real looking death all around the survivors, the weariness of those men and their determination through it all we form a bond with them that submerges us in the film. Here, especially since it’s aimed at children, that action doesn’t have nearly the same weight. It’s a blitzkrieg of dazzling sights and sounds. However, like a fireworks show, when the smoke clears there is nothing there.

This isn’t to say that Tintin is a bad movie. It is not. The animation is top notch and gives us some wonderful visuals throughout. Action is pretty much non-stop so you, most likely, won’t be bored. And if you like pratfalls and slapstick comedy, you’ll laugh a lot, too.

No one, myself included, is really qualified to tell Steven Spielberg how to make a movie. I just feel he went way too fast with this one. I would love to see Tintin, and even the villains, more firmly established before we really get into his adventure. Instead, it’s like a mashup of his own Indiana Jones flicks and Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes without the heart of either. We can see many of the director’s normal touches, but it feels like a dumbed down version of his normal work like he’s pandering to an even younger crowd than his popcorn flicks usually shoot for. Ironically, his pal J.J. Abrams made the best Spielberg flick in the last couple years with Super 8. There is no question that Spielberg is a magician when it comes to filmmaking. However, this particular trick falls flat. It wants to wow us by constantly showing us our card. Unfortunately, we never get to actually pick one.

MY SCORE: 6/10

The Eagle

Directed by Kevin Macdonald

2011. Rated PG-13, 114 minutes.

Cast:

Channing Tatum

Jamie Bell

Donald Sutherland

Mark Strong

Tahar Rahim

Denis O’Hare

Dakin Matthews

Ned Dennehy

Julian Lewis Jones

Some years earlier, his father led a group of Roman soldiers into the wilds of 2nd century Great Britain. They were never heard from again. Also lost was the gold eagle each unit takes with them into battle. Now, Marcus Flavius Aquila (Tatum) is himself a garrison commander in the Roman army. He volunteers for a tour of duty in Great Britain in hopes of recovering the eagle and/or his father. As luck would have it, he is severely injured in battle and involuntarily discharged before he even embarks on that mission. After recuperating, he and a British slave who’s life he saved venture out on their own to complete the job he came to do.

The Eagle wants to position our two buddies as having an uneasy relationship. It wants us to think that the lowly slave Esca (Bell) may not be trustworthy. However, the way things play out, we never get that feeling. That’s a major issue for a movie banking on that aspect. It saps the entire production of any tension it might have had if this angle had been better executed. We never feel that our hero is in any serious danger. Even when things seem most bleak we know that his sidekick is merely biding his time.

Our hero is also problematic. Part of this is due to star Channing Tatum and part to the way his part is written. It seems the writers couldn’t make up their mind how great a soldier he is, or isn’t. The same goes for his fluctuating intelligence. He’s smart or dumb depending on what the plot requires at any given moment. It’s much the same for his soldiering skills. For instance, there’s a moment early on where the very faint sound of his enemies wakes him from a dead sleep. Presumably, his quarters are a ways from the fort wall from beyond which the noise is coming. In fact, no one standing guard on the wall itself hears anything. Initially, I’ve no problem with this. It helps establish him as a superior combatant. However, later on he can’t hear or see more enemies only a few feet away when he is on his own with Esca in the middle of the woods and should be at his most alert. It’s a frustrating about face in character. As for Tatum, I just couldn’t buy him as an Ancient Roman commander with a burning passion for recovering a symbolic bird in an effort to clear his family name. I harbor no hatred for Tatum. If you’re movie is set during contemporary times with a suburban/pseudo urban setting and your lead has to be a white guy with a solid street vibe about him, he’s your guy. As a leader of men during the sword and sandal days, not so much.

There are solid and bloody fight scenes so The Eagle isn’t a total loss. However, the dreadfully serious tone combined with a lack of tension means the movie fails to engage us. We’re not particularly enthralled with this man’s quest. Therefore, the movie trudges past on its way to the inevitable ending with precious little in the way of humor or fun.

MY SCORE: 5/10