31 Days of Horror: Crimson Peak

Only Lovers Left Alive

Directed by Jim Jarmusch.

2013. Rated R, 123 minutes.

Cast:

Tom Hiddleston

Tilda Swinton

Mia Wasikowska

John Hurt

Anton Yelchin

Jeffrey Wright

Adam (Hiddleston) and Eve (Swinton) are a married couple who, for some unexplained reason, are named Adam and Eve and live on opposite ends of the Earth. She tools about Tangier while he's holed himself up in his cluttered Detroit apartment. Dude is definitely a hoarder. Eve's thing is apparently listening to men speak. Like, I'm not even joking about that. After speaking to him on the phone, Eve decides she misses her hubby and hops a flight to Motown. Oh, I forgot to mention that they happen to be vampires. However, they no longer go around biting people. Instead, they get their food from blood banks and black market dealers. Mostly, they lounge around and talk art and science. Things change when Eve's sister Ava (Wasikowska) comes around. She's more of a free spirit. Understandably, she turns their world upside down. Something artsy ensues.

Every now and then, a movie comes along that just makes me admit defeat. It makes me confess that there are people in the world smarter than myself. There has to be because they're all seeing something that, for the life of me, I can't. Only Lovers Left Alive is one such film. However, before completely giving up, I try my damndest to find it. And since I don't know any better, I'll start looking in the places where I always look.

This means that the plot is the first place I check. There really isn't one to speak of. We find out some vaguely interesting things about the people involved, though. Adam is apparently responsible for much of the great music of centuries' past, I think. However, other than showing that he's a total recluse who occasionally releases his new material through 'a guy' named Ian (Yelchin). We also see he's a technological genius of some sort. He must be. He rigged a cell phone to connect to a TV from I don't know how many decades ago and uses it like Skype. Let's be honest, if you or I were alive for a couple hundred years we still couldn't figure out how to do that. Despite all this, dude is definitely depressed. He's been contemplating suicide hard...HARD. About Eve, well, she...um...she really loves Adam and...uh...she loves hearing men speak. Didn't I say that, already? Sorry, folks. That's all I got on her. Oh, wait. There is one other thing about her. She can tell exactly how old something is just by putting her hands on it. It's a cute trick, but fairly useless in everyday life. As for Ava, she likes to party and well, occasionally she drinks too much. Yup, she's a vampire so it's possible I've just spoiled the only thing that actually happens in the entire damn movie. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just say that I looked at the plot and found nothing.

My next logical step is to examine the characters. Of course, if you've been paying any attention at all then you know that I've already done that because the plot was missing from its normal spot. If we're keeping count then you know we have a grand total of one mildly interesting character. That's it. Hell, the only other character who matters at all in the whole movie is Marlowe (Hurt), an old dude that, yes, Eve loves listening to. His claim to fame is that he is evidently the one and only Christopher Marlowe that some people allege to have faked his own death and assumed the name William Shakespeare and penned all of those classics. And, of course, he's been around ever since and knew every dead writer you ever read in high school personally. The most interesting thing about him is something that perpetuates the Marlowe/Shakespeare myth. It is implied that, like the real Christopher Marlowe, his human life ended at age 29. However, this Marlowe is an old man and vampires don't age once they've been turned. Hmmm...very clever. Still, that's not quite enough to really give a crap about him. So, yeah, we're still at one mildly interesting character.

Well, what about what these people have to say? You know, dialogue. I'll start by saying this, I generally do not read reviews of movies I haven't seen, if I plan on seeing them in the near future. So even as a lot of my blogging buddies were posting their reviews, possibly including yours, I either clicked off that page or just looked at whatever score you gave and then clicked off. Now that I've watched it, I've gone back and read a number of reviews on it. The dialogue of this movie is getting lots of praise. I'll say this for it, it takes someone with a brain to keep up. That much is for sure. For comparison's sake, I'd say imagine a Quentin Tarantino script that instead of referencing all sorts of pop culture, references historical figures in music and literature. By historical, I mean people who died before the twentieth century. Now strip away all of QT's snark and most of his humor of any sort, and voila, you have Only Lovers Left Alive. Well, that's actually dialogue from Adam and Marlowe. The only other thing Adam really says is "Get off my lawn!" He doesn't use those words, but the sentiment is definitely there. He peeks out of his window and sees a couple of youngsters hanging around and then calls Ian, or wait until he sees him, and orders him to keep those "rock and roll kids" away from his house. Eve mostly just says, "Tell me about ___, darling." Seriously. She does go ape shit when she finds out about teeny tiny thing Adam was hiding from her, but that lasts all of a minute and then its' back to sitting around with her listening ears on until very late in the movie when she finally has to do something. Ian just basically says "Dude, you should get out more." Later, Ava shows up and says "Wooohhh, let's go out!" And, when they get out, she switches over to "Wooohhh, Paaarrrr-tay!" Again, not in those words. Sentiment, people. To sum up the dialogue, we'll say Adam's and Marlowe's is creative, but not riveting and everyone else's is repetitive.

After dialogue, it only makes sense to talk about the acting. Finally, we've reached a strong point. Scroll back to the top and look at that cast again. I don't think anyone of them could be accused of phoning it in. In fact, they are selling it for all they're worth. Tilda Swinton is a phenomenal actress. I've no choice but to give her credit for never seeming bored with her role. She seems genuinely interested in what her mate has to say, even though she's probably heard it all literally a million times before. After all, some of her lines begin with "Tell me again about..." Sigh. Tom Hiddleston gives us his emo-hipster best. We really feel like this is a guy that is more than ready to check out. John Hurt's role is small, but he makes it work. Wasikowska adds what little energy this film has.

The next thing I have to ask myself is what does the movie say? Is there any sort of social commentary or insight into the human condition? Maybe. As far as commentary, we get a drive around a barren Detroit landscape and some lamenting the plight of a once great city. There's also some mumbo-jumbo about it coming back because it's near water. The human condition? There is a nod to the dangers of us constantly consuming junk, the way that we do, and what it's doing to our bodies. I guess you can also say it's a testament to the enduring power of love. Or, whatever the hell else you want. I am so tired of playing this game.

Before I quit, I at least should take a look at more superficial things. I mean, this is a movie about vampires, right? Well, alrighty then. Is it scary? No. Gory? No. Romantic? I guess we can give it that one, begrudgingly on my part, though. Are the action scenes fun? They might be, if there were any. In short, I was bored as shit and struggled mightily to make it through this thing. Going back to our lovebirds, they really started to annoy me, quickly. To make matters worse, I put my finger on the pulse of my dislike for these people. With Adam's rather Cullen...er...sullen attitude and Eve's (I think) misplaced giddiness over just being in his presence really made me feel like I was watching another Twilight sequel, this one set years after the last. Since she's long over Jacob, Charlie has probably collapsed and died beneath the weight of his own mustache, and the Volturi are no longer chasing them, nothing happens. Nothing at all.

Lawless

 

Directed by John Hillcoat.

2012. Rated R, 116 minutes.

Cast:

Shia LaBeouf

Tom Hardy

Jessica Chastain

Guy Pearce

Gary Oldman

Mia Wasikowska

Jason Clarke

Dane DeHaan

Chris McGarry

Tim Tolan

Noah Taylor

In Prohibition Era Franklin, Virginia legend has it that local moonshiners, The Bondurant brothers are indestructible. This is said to be especially true of Forrest (Hardy), the eldest and leader of the trio. Calling him the strong, silent type is an understatement on both counts. He’s usually flanked by Howard (Clarke), the largest of the bunch, and worried about Jack (LaBeouf), the runt of the litter. Just about everyone else in town is also in the moonshine business and business is good. It’s good enough that they’ve attracted the attention of their counterparts from the big city who send some corrupt lawmakers down to muscle in on the backwoods action. The whole town gives up without a fight, except Forrest and his brethren. Forrest not running ensues.

The main strength of Lawless is its characters. As Forrest, Tom Hardy is ridiculously good, again proving he’s among the very best actors woking today. Without mugging for the camera, his face says everything it needs to. His Forrest is clearly a man that measures his words whenever he can and has supreme confidence in himself. He actually believes that bit about being indestructible. Still, he’s very smart and doesn’t let his ego make him entirely wreckless, usually. On the other hand, baby brother Jack is pretty much the opposite: a big talker who likes to show off with fancy suits and cars. It’s a surprisingly good performance from Shia LaBeouf. Jessica Chastain, as Maggie, is also solid, as usual. So is Gary Oldman who gets way too little time on screen. However, it’s Forrest’s rival, Special Agent Rakes that steals the show. A bizarrely made up Guy Pearce does the honors. You will love to hate him.

Lawless also maintains an excellent pace. The action is often brutal and the stretches between action scenes are filled with tension and, surprisingly, humor. These attributes, combined with the wonderful cast, make this a very entertaining movie. A time, or two, ti does stretch the idea of Forrest’s invincibility incredibly thin. Other times, Howard and Maggie blend in with the furniture, not given quite enough to do. That said, it is still an incredibly watchable film that absorbs us into its fabric.

The Kids Are All Right

Directed by Lisa Cholodenko.
2010. Rated R, 106 minutes.
Cast:
Annette Benning
Julianne Moore
Mark Ruffalo
Mia Wasikowska
Josh Hutcherson
Yaya DaCosta
Eddie Hassell
Kunal Sharma
Zosia Mamet

Nic (Benning) and Jules (Moore) have built their loving family the new fashioned way. Many moons ago, each of the ladies was artificially inseminated, bore a child and at some point apparently prior to any of this, decided to marry each other. Their daughter Joni (Wasikowska), named after rock icon Joni Mitchell, has just turned 18 and graduated high school. She is on her way to college in a few weeks. Their son, Laser (Hutcherson), is 16. He seems to also be bright, but makes extremely poor choices in friends. For him, “the wrong crowd” is all wrapped up into Clay (Hassell), the Neanderthal he hangs out with. Clay seems destined to die a horrible death trying to perform a stunt for YouTube. Anyhoo, things are fairly mundane until the kids decide to find out who their biological father is, without their moms’ knowledge.

In short order, they discover their dad is Paul (Ruffalo), a local restaurant owner. Totally unaware that he actually has kids up to that point, he’s living the bachelor life. You see, he donated sperm 19 years ago and has since forgotten about it. Women throw themselves at him, including Tanya (DaCosta). She’s not only his “friend with benefits” but his employee, as well. Evidently, she doesn’t believe in bras. Of course, a slob like me would notice such a thing for obvious reasons. However, there’s more to it than that. Her bralessness, the afro she sometimes wears (yes, she’s Black), the seemingly no-strings-attached sex she has (with a White man, no less), mark her as a free spirit, a bit rebellious and alternative thinking. She’s a female version of Paul. Though she’s a minor character, she helps frame the movie. She is the embodiment of both his lifestyle and the opposing force he becomes to Nic.

For all intents and purposes, Nic is the patriarch of her family. She’s domineering, demanding and can’t stand that Paul has been suddenly injected into their lives. Her partner Jules appears much more the wife in a traditional sense. She’s been a stay at home mom at Nic’s behest. She’s searching for her own identity and feels neglected. The entire situation becomes volatile as Nic has frequent outbursts and increasingly drowns her sorrows in alcohol. The children grow to like Paul more and more with each visit and he becomes the first client of Jules’ fledgling landscaping company.

As is the norm when worlds collide and get turned upside down, everyone is confused by what’s going on and try to make sense of it all. To the film’s credit, so do we. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Is there even a right and wrong? What does this mean? Are the kids, or the adults, really all right? This enhances our experience because we’re working our way through it with the characters. In the end, we’re not sure we have any answers. Still, we’ve had an interesting ride with a family not as dissimilar to our own as appearances would lead most of us to believe. That said, if you're religious, or other convictions make you scoff at the notion of a nuclear family headed by two women, you might not be willing to enjoy it.

Alice in Wonderland

Directed by Tim Burton.
2010. Rated PG, 108 minutes.
Cast:
Mia Wasikowska
Johnny Depp
Helena Bonham Carter
Anne Hathaway
Crispin Glover
Matt Lucas
Stephen Fry
Michael Sheen
Alan Rickman
Timothy Spall
Michael Sheen

Plot: Alice (Wasikowska) falls down a rabbit hole and lands in a strange world.

The Good: Like the best of Burton, it uses odd angles, wild color pallets and eccentric characters to create a lively but still gothic vision. Things and people that would be grotesque in other movies are normal, even beautiful, here. Those we would casually consider normal are merely part of an oppressive establishment. This means Alice is a girl we feel doubly for. She simply doesn’t belong, regardless of where she is. Two of Burton’s muses, wife Helena Bonham Carter (The Red Queen) and long-time collaborator Johnny Depp (The Mad Hatter), turn in excellent work as usual. In particular, Carter is deliciously villainous and our evil queen.

The Bad: There are spots where the movie drags a bit. Most often, this occurs during the scenes Alice and the Mad Hatter have together. They seem to devolve into him aimlessly reminiscing about “the last time she was here.” Also, while I applaud Burton’s decision to focus on storytelling more than special fx, he underused the 3D technology. There are a number of occasions where it is used perfectly. However, there are also long stretches that make you forget why you’re wearing those silly glasses. Too many things happen going away from the camera. Things coming toward the camera are often at its edges, subtracting from the experience.

The Ugly: I’m still wondering why a raven is like a writing desk.

Recommendation: By now, you’re probably aware if you’re a Burton fan, or not. His trademarked wonderful weirdness is on display, as is his knack for patient storytelling. This means there is action, but it certainly no action flick. It’s just another quirky fantasy pic of the sort the director excels at making.

The Opposite View: Peter Sobczynski, eFilmCritic.com

What the Internet Says: 6.9/10 on imdb.com (7/26/10), 52% on rottentomatoes.com, 53/100 on metacritic.com

MY SCORE: 7/10