Rio

Directed by Carlos Saldanha.

2011. Rated G, 96 minutes.
Cast:
Jesse Eisenberg
Anne Hathaway
Leslie Mann
Rodrigo Santoro
George Lopez
Jamie Foxx
Will.i.Am
Jermaine Clement
Wanda Sykes
Bernardo de Paula
Tracy Morgan

As a wee little baby bird Blu (Eisenberg) is snatched from his habitat in the wilds of Rio de Janeiro and winds up in Minnesota as pet to Linda (Mann). One day, ornithologist Tulio (Santoro) shows up and informs Linda that Blu is the last male of his species, the blue macaw. He needs Blu to mate with Jewel (Hathaway) in order to save said species. Of course, they have to go back to Rio for this to happen. Once there, we find out a few things. Jewel is very interested in escaping Tulio’s lab and not at all interested in Blu (she has no use for humans). Smugglers are also interested in our not-so-in-lovebirds, realizing that these are the last two of their kind and very valuable. Finally, Linda and Tulio seem very interested in each other. Chasing, match-making and singing ensues.

What also ensues is little more than an hour’s worth of blandness. It finds its comfort zone in a paint-by-numbers tale that doesn’t hold any real surprises and is more than happy bing cute and slipping in a slightly risqué joke every now and again. Occasionally, something pretty funny happens, it moves along at a nice pace and at a total length of just a bit over 90 minutes it never overstays its welcome. Howerver, it never really differentiates itself from the scores of other animated kiddie flicks made in the last half decade, positively or negatively. Even the songs are kind of ho-hum, not particularly memorable with the exception of the villainous Nigel’s (Clement) tune. This is a shame because you have both Jamie Foxx (Nico) and Will.i.Am (Pedro) in the cast. Love them or hate them, they’ve both made a killing by delivering catchy numbers to pop radio. Most of what we get here feels ripped off from Madagascar.

Don’t fret. This isn’t a bad watch. It’s a perfectly pleasant time-passer. There are some excellent visuals helped by the use of color and the absence of it, in Nigel’s case. Humor comes at a decent rate with the occasional punch line that goes over the kiddies’ heads. They’ll enjoy it and you probably will, also. I’m not sure either of you will love it, but I’m pretty sure you won’t hate it.

MY SCORE: 6/10

True Grit (1969)

Gnomeo & Juliet

Directed Kelly Asbury.
2011. Rated G, 84 minutes.
Cast:
James McAvoy
Emily Blunt
Michael Caine
Ashley Jensen
Jason Statham
Matt Lucas
Jim Cummings
Maggie Smith
Ozzie Osbourne
Patrick Stewart
Hulk Hogan

Plenty of movies rehash tired formulas, try to inject new life into them and pretend to be extracted purely from the filmmakers imagination. Gnomeo & Juliet does loads of rehashing, but holds no false pretenses about its originality. It recognizes that it is merely a copy of not only the original, but of the countless copies that have come before. It even tells us this right at the beginning. In case the title isn’t obvious enough, the original is William Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet.” Indeed, our seldom seen human characters are named the Montagues and Capulets. They live next door to one another. Cleverly, their addresses are 2B and Not 2B. Nevermind that this references an entirely different play. It’s funny if you understand it. Even the bard himself makes an appearance in the guise of a statue voiced by Patrick Stewart.

Our focus, however, is on the garden gnomes that live in the yards of our fueding homeowners. In a very Toy Story type of way, the gnomes spring to life when the humans aren’t looking. Like the humans, the two groups are constantly bickering and competing. Often, things get rather ugly. True to the Shakespeare classic, a guy from one side, Gnomeo (McAvoy), meets and immediately falls madly in love with a girl from the other side, Juliet (Blunt). Lots of property damage ensues.

The movie’s humor is spotty. There are lots of jokes my children didn’t laugh at, even a little. At others, they did so loudly.That is, at the jokes meant for them. The ones meant for us parents aren’t so much jokes as they are a stream of references to films we’re familiar with. Some of them work marvelously, many fall flat. This is a big problem with G & J. It just keeps referencing or copying other movies in hopes these will be funny. This is why we can indentify shots stolen from The Matrix and dialogue from Brokeback Mountain without necessarily getting a charge from either. For the kids, these are just meaningless moments that quickly pass.

Where the battle lines are drawn and the resulting violence is troublesome. I’m no puritan calling for the complete sanitization of cinema. I’ve watched and enjoyed plenty of movies, a number of them kiddie flicks. Here, it feels too much like something else we’ve become all too aware of. Gnomeo is a blue gnome while Juliet is a red. The two sides breaking into all out war whenever someone from one side is in the other side’s yard is awfully reminiscent of the real life gang problem. I wouldn’t mind if there were some point to it. There is not. It could also be construed as misleading because one character is presumably killed and comes back only for the sake of not having a death in a kids’ movie. Again, this is coming from someone who loves old school Looney Toons. However, the leap to reality is a lot further for a coyote and a road runner than it is for a group of reds and blues wailing on each other at every opportunity.

There are good parts to G & J. As I said earlier, there are moments that are just flat out funny. There are others that are creative, despite the seemingly constant nods to other, better movies. Still, it seems to be enough to satisfy its target audience. They’ll probably like it, not love it. You may like it, you may not. It’s fast-paced, loud, sometimes funny and occasionally cute. Meh.

MY SCORE: 5.5/10

Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2

Directed by Alex Zamm.
2011. Rated G, 83 minutes.
Cast:
George Lopez
Odette Annable
Zachary Gordon
Emily Osment
Loretta Devine
Bridgit Mendler
Susan Blakely
Ernie Hudson
Morgan Fairchild

Papi (Lopez) and Chloe (Annable) are back for another canine adventure. Our loving couple get hitched right at the beginning and are very shortly the proud parents of a litter of pups. Aside from the cuteness factor the movie is obviously going for, this is completely irrelevant. Aside from the fact these are talking dogs, the only thing you really need to know is that the people who own the house they live in, are in danger of losing it. No, these aren’t the same people from the first movie, again irrelevant. Anyhoo, guess what’s coming up to give the happy couple a chance to save the home of “their humans”? If you said dog show with enough prize money to keep the place out of foreclosure, you guessed right. As a child, my mother used to tell me “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” O…kaaaaayyy, I think I’m done here.

MY SCORE: 0/10