On My Mind: Zzzzzzz

In a couple of these "On My Mind" posts, I gave Mrs. Dell some flack over her movie watching habits. Now, I have to expose an ugly truth about myself. One thing I've been known to do at the drop of a hat is fall asleep watching a movie. I know, kind of off-putting for a guy who loves movies and actually writes reviews on the ones he watches. And since I also snore, it can be off-putting for the people in the room. Or theater. So yeah, those peaceful little z's in the title of this posts should probably be replaced by whatever sound a buzz saw makes. Or the sound of...

a car with a busted muffler...

or a lawnmower chewing up rocks...

or The Cookie Monster ravaging a truckload of Mrs. Fields'...

or Darth Vader gargling a sand and salt water cocktail...

or anything entirely too damn loud.

On those occasions when I just couldn't keep my eyes open even though we were in a crowded theater, the good wife gets rather pissed at me. How pissed? Let's just say date night doesn't end with us having to lock the bedroom door to keep the kids out. I can't blame her, she probably should be upset. I've wasted all the hard earned money we plunked down on an exorbitantly priced ticket. Worse than that, I've embarrassed her in public. Strangers have cast sideways looks at her under the light of a gigantic screen. The less polite have even stood up and moved away. Some have even sighed loudly and rolled their eyes as they did. At least that's what she tells me.

How would I know? I was asleep.

At home, it's become something of an in-joke. Whenever we watch movies as a family, I'm almost expected to fall asleep. The wife still gets a little upset, you know, wanting to be cuddled by the great Dell, and all. However, she more often than not lets it slide. Sometimes she's not upset at all, but not letting it slide because I'm putting on a great show. Well, it's a show for her and the children. In my eyes, I'm putting up a valiant fight. These are the times when I'm working really hard to stay awake. Dammit, I'm going to watch this movie come hell or high water.

I start off these sessions by winning for the first twenty or thirty minutes. Then, the eyelids start drooping. Pretty soon, the head nodding begins. It drops, I snatch it back up. It drops again, I snatch it back up, again. This might repeat about a thousand times over the next two hours. Of course, no two nods are exactly alike, hence the entertaining quality of my effort to maintain consciousness. Sometimes, my entire body starts tilting to one side or the other. At other times, I'll snort myself awake. Occasionally, my head will fool me and tilt backwards as my mouth opens. This is usually when I mix in a solid fifteen or twenty minute nap. I often awake to the sound of my own family laughing at me.

Those cruel bastards.

But wait, I have excuses!

First of all, the weight of the movie watching world rests heavily upon my shoulders.

No?

Okay, I have more genuine excuses.

I actually have two things going on that work together. I guess that makes it one excuse, but whatever. Years ago, I was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Without getting technical about exactly what's taking place within me, just know that this is where the snoring comes from. The other factor is that I'm a night owl. So, other than family movie night, I don't sleep much. I've been known to go weeks at a time on four hours of sleep, or less.

You're probably wondering what I'm doing on all those long nights when midnight marks the first checkpoint of a long journey. I'm usually watching movies, of course. There's all those flicks that no one else in my house wants to see. That's not to mention all the movies I have to watch that I fell asleep on when the rest of the Dell clan filled the living room.

If you're wondering how this is possible, it's not really that complicated. Whenever I watch movies alone, I allow myself a lot more leeway in terms of my behavior. Therefore, I'm almost always doing something else at the same time. Maybe I have some paperwork to get in order. I might be putting together a post like this one for the blog. I've got a friend or two in different time zones I text back and forth with. You know there's that game I just downloaded on my phone. If all else fails, I might just watch standing up. I don't do any of these things when watching with others. I respect them too much. My focus is strictly on the movie at hand. Therefore, me falling asleep on movies when my family is trying to enjoy a flick together is to be expected.

I'm going into the war unarmed.

Other things that have been "On My Mind:"

Questions, Declarations, and other Verbalizations

A Not Happy Enough Ending

Morgan Freeman & the Magical Negro Dilemma

The Family Grades the Blog

Holiday Movies

The Good Ol' Days

Terrible Movie Summaries #2

So, I've decided...

this is going to be a semi-regular feature here at Dell on Movies.

If you have no idea what "this" is, that's okay. I'll explain. Back at the end of September, I posted Really Uncomfortable Movie Summaries, Vol. 1. Well, I'm changing the name slightly to "Terrible Movie Summaries" because that's what they are. We're trying to boil a movie down to one sentence. I just can't promise that the sentence will be completely accurate. Wish me luck with today's batch.

50/50: Terminally ill man puts bros before hos.

Ain't Them Bodies Saints: Man escapes from prison, stalks his baby-mama.

August: Osage County: A drug addict berates and outsmarts her family.

Batman Begins: Wealthy man trains for a life of crime.

Don Jon: One man's devotion to jerking off leaves him struggling to play well with others.

Enemy of the State: A black man is watched by the authorities.

The Equalizer: Hardware store employee goes on a killing spree.

The Lego Movie: Violent insurgents overthrow the government.

Madagascar: Escaped prisoners flee the law.

Noah: Delusional man obeys the voices in his head.

Pretty Woman: Wealthy man turns a ho into a housewife.

Prisoners: Neglectful parents decide to pay attention to the whereabouts of their kids.

Psycho: Cross-dresser deals with familial issues.

Transformers: Illegal aliens cause complications.

Under the Skin: A black woman pretends to be white.

Thursday Movie Picks: Movies Featuring Amnesiacs

What day is it?

Oh, that's right, it's Thursday. Yeah, I'm at the age where I'll forget simple stuff like that. Most annoying, I'll walk into a room and stand there like an idiot because I can't remember what I went in there for. My wife swears up and down she's told me things of which I have no recollection whatsoever. I almost forgot to create this post.

Almost.

Luckily, I saw a couple other posts for this week's topic in Wanderer's Thursday Movie Picks meme: Movies Featuring Amnesiacs. In those posts, there were some great movies that I fully intended to pick and, yes, even a movie I'd nearly forgotten about. To check out those posts and get the ins and outs of participating, swing by Wandering Through the Shelves. Use the link, you know, in case you forgot the way. While you're here, check out the movies I've retrieved from the dark corridors of my memory. These aren't exactly hidden gems, so we'll just call them favorites.

Total Recall

(1990)

Douglas Quaid, our hero in Total Recall has some strange, but rather vivid dreams about being on Mars. They're so strong, he goes to a place that specializes in virtual vacations and decides to "go" to the red planet for himself, have a grand adventure with a beautiful woman by his side and get it out of his system. Since things are never as simple as they seem, he might really be on Mars, and it might be true that his memories were actually removed and he really is a secret agent named Hauser. Maybe. How it plays out is perhaps the finest adaptation of any Philip K. Dick writing. Sorry, I hate Blade Runner. Just had to slip that in there. It's certainly one of the best movies of Arnold Schwarzenegger's career. The 2012 remake starring Colin Farrell is okay, but I'd advise checking out this version. (Full Review)

The Long Kiss Goodnight

(1996)

When most people think of Geena Davis, they first think of her driving off a cliff with Susan Sarandon in Thelma and Louise or, perhaps, playing catcher in A League of Their Own. Me? I see her as regular old soccer mom Samantha Caine, who is completely thrown for a loop when some very dangerous people show up trying to kill her. She completely forgot that she was badass super secret agent Charly Baltimore. Bring Samuel L. Jackson along for the ride and we get one of the best action movies ever to have a female protagonist. And she's a lot more fun character than Jason Bourne. Yup, I said that.

Finding Nemo

(2003)

In this case, our amnesiac is not actually the protagonist of the film. She only kinda-sorta qualifies as an amnesiac. She's not even human. However, the movie is so good I can't help but include it. Dory, played wonderfully by Ellen DeGeneres, is a Pacific regal blue tang who suffers from short-term memory loss. She literally can't remember things that just happened. Still, she hangs with our hero Marlin every step of the way in an effort to find his son Nemo. As far as I'm concerned this is one of the great animated movies of all time. And yes, I'm extremely excited that 2016 will bring us Finding Dory.

Click here for more Thursday Movie Picks!

Ain't Them Bodies Saints

Directed by David Lowery.

2013. Rated R, 96 minutes.

Cast:

Rooney Mara

Casey Affleck

Ben Foster

Nate Parker

Rami Malek

Keith Carradine

Charles Baker

Will Beinbrink

Annalee Jefferies

Ruth (Mara) and Bob (Affleck) are a modern day Bonnie and Clyde. They find themselves trapped in a house with one other guy who won't make it past this scene and engaged in a shootout with the law. Before going out in a hail of bullets, they decide to surrender. Since, Ruth is pregnant with their child, they agree that Bob will take all the blame. He goes off to jail and she starts living clean so she can raise their daughter. Fast-forward five years. Ruth and the child, now a little over four, have settled into a nice, quiet life. Every now and again, Bob's arresting officer Patrick (Foster) comes around to check on her. He seems to have taken a shine to her, but doesn't push the issue. The entire world is flipped upside down when news hits that Bob has escaped from prison. Thanks to the million and one love letters he wrote while incarcerated, there's no doubt in anyone's mind that he's going to try and reunite his family. The manhunt to keep that from happening ensues.

After opening with a burst of action, the movie settles into a languid pace. The idea is for us to see the growth in the relationship between Ruth and Patrick while reminding us she still loves Bob, thus creating an emotional dilemma. Unfortunately, the movie has serious problems on both fronts of its effort. On one hand, Patrick never really gets around to admitting the feelings that are apparent to us. He just keeps popping up on Ruth's doorstep and says very little. I get he's trying to maintain at least a modicum of professionalism, but at some point just doing his job feels like stalking. On the other hand, while Bob has very good reason for wanting to get back to Ruth, he's never presented as anything other than a bad guy. He feels like someone obsessed rather than thinking rationally. So now the poor girl has two stalkers, one with a badge, one without.

To combat these problems, the movie is atmospheric and its leading lady is incessantly contemplative. Everything is said in a somber tone, often while melancholy music scores the scene. Ain't Them Bodies Saints wants to be a deep, lyrical movie. It's got the lyrical part down pat, thanks to that marvelous pacing. It's slow, but as I hope I implied earlier, that's on purpose. We're not rushed from one thing to the next, but ushered there in a smooth, fluid manner. this is the biggest thing the movie has going for it.

If I'm being fair, then I'll have to give kudos to the cast, as well. Both Affleck and Foster play their roles well. Affleck, one of the more underrated actors, conveys his character's feelings without a showy moment. Foster gets a couple of those and brings his usual wide-eyed intensity. However, that might be part of the reason we're never as sympathetic toward Patrick as we should be. In the lead, Mara does what she can to save the material. Sadly, she has the same problem everyone else has. The material isn't that good. It's certainly not anywhere near as compelling as it thinks it is. Instead, it just barrels toward a conclusion that feels inevitable as soon as we understand what each our three main players want.

Nebraska

Directed by Alexander Payne.

2013. Rated R, 114 minutes.

Cast:

Bruce Dern

June Squibb

Will Forte

Stacy Keach

Bob Odenkirk

Mary Louise Wilson

Rance Howard

Devin Ratray

Tim Driscoll

Missy Doty

If you were certain that you'd won a million dollars and only had to get to a particular place to collect, wouldn't you go? That's the position Woody (Dern) finds himself in. He has to get to Lincoln, Nebraska to claim his prize. He's going to do it even if he has to walk from his home in Billings, Montana, over seven hundred miles away. However, chances are overwhelming that there is no million dollar prize waiting for him. Like many of us, he's received one of those sweepstakes in the mail that says "You have won $1,000,000 if..." and then gives some impossible condition to meet. The whole thing is just a tactic to entice you into buying magazine subscriptions. Unlike most of us, he takes off walking in the general direction of Lincoln. Since he's done this before, the local police just pick him up and call a member of his family to come to get him. In this case, it's his son David (Forte). Against the rest of the family's wishes, since the old man just won't shut up about it nor stop trying to get there, David decides to load his old man up in the car and drive to Lincoln, himself. A rather interesting road trip ensues.

The first thing many of us will notice is director Alexander Payne's decision to use black and white instead of color. I'm not sure if he ever addressed this publicly, but I have some theories on why he did this. All of them revolve around our protagonist. First, black and white conjures ideas of a simpler time. It makes the town and the world he lives in feels smaller. In that smaller world, that Woody inhabits alone, it's entirely possible to walk as far as necessary to collect his money. It is also a representation of how he sees things at this point in his life: all black and white. There are only two possibilities: getting to Lincoln and not getting to Lincoln. Needless to say, he finds the latter unacceptable. Finally, this style of shooting is an extension of Woody, himself. The man is simply not as lucid as he once was. He continues to function, but not with his faculties fully intact. The lack of color is symbolic of this. Personifying all of this is Bruce Dern. His brilliant portrayal conveys everything that I've said. Amazingly, he manages to avoid becoming a caricature. It would've been easy to give us a performance that drills one aspect of Woody repeatedly into our head. Instead, Dern gives us a fully formed man, albeit one who has a bit less of a grip on reality that he once did.

While Dern is indeed great here, the real shining star for me is June Squibb as his wife Kate. The black and white photography effectively represents her, too. More accurately, it reps her nostalgia for the good ol' days. She spends most of the movie reminiscing about the past. During these times, she provides the film with most of its humor and emotion. Whenever she appears, the movie is injected with a vibrancy lacking in the depiction of the relationship between Woody and son. It's a magnificent performance in what's meant to be a thankless role. After all, she's the one constantly wanting to tell Woody 'no.' Woody's even formulated her into a villain, in his mind. Also adding some life to the proceedings. Also adding some life to the proceedings are some low-brow laughs we get courtesy of Cole (Ratray) and Bart (Driscoll), the couple's nephews. Nothing they do is terribly consequential, but they are fun. Later on, Stacy Keach has a nice turn as Woody's old business partner.

The black and white photography, the various people we meet, and the stubbornness of the old man are all just part of the journey we take with Woody. For some, the knock may be that it's a journey with a pre-ordained conclusion. In most movies, that would be a serious detriment. Here, we realize early on that the real point is seeing how everyone involved deals with what any rational person knows is coming. Believe me, there are a number of irrational folks besides our hero to add some drama. All of those ingredients combine to make Nebraska a fun watch that becomes tinged with sadness when we think of what the rest of Woody's life holds.

The End of a Horrorble Time

Congratulations!

You've managed to survive the onslaught of a sexually repressed psycho...

and all of this October's horror themed posts.

You now have 11 months until my...um...unstable friends and I try to get you again.

Or, do you?

The Slasher Cast-a-Thon: Links!

Back at the beginning of the month I started a blogathon...er...cast-a-thon based on slasher flicks. The idea was simple: create a cast of movie characters from non-horror movies that you'd like to see killed, and throw in one other character you'd like to survive. We call that last one The Final Girl. As we often do with the things that leak from our brains, I thought it was a great idea. I had fun putting my cast together. But alas, not many of you created your own.

Oh, the horror.

No worries, I'm okay.

Really.

Just promise me you still love me.

A couple of you were brave enough to indulge your sadistic side and offer up a number of live bodies to be killed off. They are...

John at Hitchcock's World gave us a cast that includes a hated Star Wars character, a Ben Affleck character, and the most iconic super-spy of all time.

The Flick Chicks, Jenna and Allie, offer up a ladies' man, a clueless admissions officer, and some eye-candy.

Right here at home, I also put a Star Wars character on the chopping block, as well as a gold digger, and a man in a dress.


Many thanks to the bloggers who participated. Of course, I'm flexible when it comes to blogathon deadlines. That means that if you still want to get in on this, create your own cast and I will happily add a link to your work right here in this post.

Happy Slashing!

Other Blogathons Started by Dell on Movies:

The Back-to-School Blogathon

The Ten Most Iconic Female Characters Relay

Against the Crowd Blogathon

Poetry in the Movies Blogathon