Only Lovers Left Alive

Directed by Jim Jarmusch.

2013. Rated R, 123 minutes.

Cast:

Tom Hiddleston

Tilda Swinton

Mia Wasikowska

John Hurt

Anton Yelchin

Jeffrey Wright

Adam (Hiddleston) and Eve (Swinton) are a married couple who, for some unexplained reason, are named Adam and Eve and live on opposite ends of the Earth. She tools about Tangier while he's holed himself up in his cluttered Detroit apartment. Dude is definitely a hoarder. Eve's thing is apparently listening to men speak. Like, I'm not even joking about that. After speaking to him on the phone, Eve decides she misses her hubby and hops a flight to Motown. Oh, I forgot to mention that they happen to be vampires. However, they no longer go around biting people. Instead, they get their food from blood banks and black market dealers. Mostly, they lounge around and talk art and science. Things change when Eve's sister Ava (Wasikowska) comes around. She's more of a free spirit. Understandably, she turns their world upside down. Something artsy ensues.

Every now and then, a movie comes along that just makes me admit defeat. It makes me confess that there are people in the world smarter than myself. There has to be because they're all seeing something that, for the life of me, I can't. Only Lovers Left Alive is one such film. However, before completely giving up, I try my damndest to find it. And since I don't know any better, I'll start looking in the places where I always look.

This means that the plot is the first place I check. There really isn't one to speak of. We find out some vaguely interesting things about the people involved, though. Adam is apparently responsible for much of the great music of centuries' past, I think. However, other than showing that he's a total recluse who occasionally releases his new material through 'a guy' named Ian (Yelchin). We also see he's a technological genius of some sort. He must be. He rigged a cell phone to connect to a TV from I don't know how many decades ago and uses it like Skype. Let's be honest, if you or I were alive for a couple hundred years we still couldn't figure out how to do that. Despite all this, dude is definitely depressed. He's been contemplating suicide hard...HARD. About Eve, well, she...um...she really loves Adam and...uh...she loves hearing men speak. Didn't I say that, already? Sorry, folks. That's all I got on her. Oh, wait. There is one other thing about her. She can tell exactly how old something is just by putting her hands on it. It's a cute trick, but fairly useless in everyday life. As for Ava, she likes to party and well, occasionally she drinks too much. Yup, she's a vampire so it's possible I've just spoiled the only thing that actually happens in the entire damn movie. Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just say that I looked at the plot and found nothing.

My next logical step is to examine the characters. Of course, if you've been paying any attention at all then you know that I've already done that because the plot was missing from its normal spot. If we're keeping count then you know we have a grand total of one mildly interesting character. That's it. Hell, the only other character who matters at all in the whole movie is Marlowe (Hurt), an old dude that, yes, Eve loves listening to. His claim to fame is that he is evidently the one and only Christopher Marlowe that some people allege to have faked his own death and assumed the name William Shakespeare and penned all of those classics. And, of course, he's been around ever since and knew every dead writer you ever read in high school personally. The most interesting thing about him is something that perpetuates the Marlowe/Shakespeare myth. It is implied that, like the real Christopher Marlowe, his human life ended at age 29. However, this Marlowe is an old man and vampires don't age once they've been turned. Hmmm...very clever. Still, that's not quite enough to really give a crap about him. So, yeah, we're still at one mildly interesting character.

Well, what about what these people have to say? You know, dialogue. I'll start by saying this, I generally do not read reviews of movies I haven't seen, if I plan on seeing them in the near future. So even as a lot of my blogging buddies were posting their reviews, possibly including yours, I either clicked off that page or just looked at whatever score you gave and then clicked off. Now that I've watched it, I've gone back and read a number of reviews on it. The dialogue of this movie is getting lots of praise. I'll say this for it, it takes someone with a brain to keep up. That much is for sure. For comparison's sake, I'd say imagine a Quentin Tarantino script that instead of referencing all sorts of pop culture, references historical figures in music and literature. By historical, I mean people who died before the twentieth century. Now strip away all of QT's snark and most of his humor of any sort, and voila, you have Only Lovers Left Alive. Well, that's actually dialogue from Adam and Marlowe. The only other thing Adam really says is "Get off my lawn!" He doesn't use those words, but the sentiment is definitely there. He peeks out of his window and sees a couple of youngsters hanging around and then calls Ian, or wait until he sees him, and orders him to keep those "rock and roll kids" away from his house. Eve mostly just says, "Tell me about ___, darling." Seriously. She does go ape shit when she finds out about teeny tiny thing Adam was hiding from her, but that lasts all of a minute and then its' back to sitting around with her listening ears on until very late in the movie when she finally has to do something. Ian just basically says "Dude, you should get out more." Later, Ava shows up and says "Wooohhh, let's go out!" And, when they get out, she switches over to "Wooohhh, Paaarrrr-tay!" Again, not in those words. Sentiment, people. To sum up the dialogue, we'll say Adam's and Marlowe's is creative, but not riveting and everyone else's is repetitive.

After dialogue, it only makes sense to talk about the acting. Finally, we've reached a strong point. Scroll back to the top and look at that cast again. I don't think anyone of them could be accused of phoning it in. In fact, they are selling it for all they're worth. Tilda Swinton is a phenomenal actress. I've no choice but to give her credit for never seeming bored with her role. She seems genuinely interested in what her mate has to say, even though she's probably heard it all literally a million times before. After all, some of her lines begin with "Tell me again about..." Sigh. Tom Hiddleston gives us his emo-hipster best. We really feel like this is a guy that is more than ready to check out. John Hurt's role is small, but he makes it work. Wasikowska adds what little energy this film has.

The next thing I have to ask myself is what does the movie say? Is there any sort of social commentary or insight into the human condition? Maybe. As far as commentary, we get a drive around a barren Detroit landscape and some lamenting the plight of a once great city. There's also some mumbo-jumbo about it coming back because it's near water. The human condition? There is a nod to the dangers of us constantly consuming junk, the way that we do, and what it's doing to our bodies. I guess you can also say it's a testament to the enduring power of love. Or, whatever the hell else you want. I am so tired of playing this game.

Before I quit, I at least should take a look at more superficial things. I mean, this is a movie about vampires, right? Well, alrighty then. Is it scary? No. Gory? No. Romantic? I guess we can give it that one, begrudgingly on my part, though. Are the action scenes fun? They might be, if there were any. In short, I was bored as shit and struggled mightily to make it through this thing. Going back to our lovebirds, they really started to annoy me, quickly. To make matters worse, I put my finger on the pulse of my dislike for these people. With Adam's rather Cullen...er...sullen attitude and Eve's (I think) misplaced giddiness over just being in his presence really made me feel like I was watching another Twilight sequel, this one set years after the last. Since she's long over Jacob, Charlie has probably collapsed and died beneath the weight of his own mustache, and the Volturi are no longer chasing them, nothing happens. Nothing at all.

Pointless Lists: 13 Greatest Final Girls

Aside from the slasher, The Final Girl is probably the most important person in a slasher flick. After all, this is the movie's heroine. This young lady will rise up and down a fearless, seemingly invincible killing machine. With the carcasses of her friends strewn about and still leaking onto the ground, she figures a way to do what they could not: survive. Why not celebrate the best who've ever done it? With spoilers ahead, here are...

The 13 Greatest Final Girls

13

Natalie Simon

Urban Legend

(1998)

After Scream became a huge success, slasher flicks were all the rage for a few years. One of the more fun was Urban Legend. After our killer dispatches of just about all of her friends using various urban legends, of course, as inspiration, Natalie handles business the old west way: with a gun. Sort of.

12

Dana Polk

The Cabin in the Woods

(2012)

Unlike anyone else on this list, Dana actually doesn't survive her movie. That movie, The Cabin in the Woods is a wonderful spoof of the slasher genre and eventually satirizes all manner of horror. So what puts a girl who didn't make it on the list? The stuff she survives is pretty heinous and then her death is sacrificial.

11

Sally Hardesty

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

(1974)

The movie Sally appears in is certainly one of the most iconic of any mentioned on this list. However, what keeps Sally from rising to the top is that she doesn't actually stop the bad guy. She merely escapes, with someone else's help, at that. Still, what she goes through is just plain brutal. I'm sure she'll take being alive over whatever prize I have for her.

10

Chris Higgins

Friday the 13th Part III

(1982)

When dealing with the legendary Jason Voorhees, a girl's gotta be thorough with her killin' skills. And Chris is just that. Not content with just taking a knife to him, or rather not really safe with doing just that, she hangs him...and takes an axe to him.

9

Julie James

I Know What Did Last Summer

(1997)

Ms. James is one of several ladies on the list who were actually The Final Girl more than once. The first time around, she survived a rather pissed off version of The Gordon's Fisherman. The second, it was two pissed off versions. There's no denying Julie is a survivor.

8

Alice Hardy

Friday the 13th

(1980)

In a lot of ways, Alice is a pioneer in this game. For starters, she was Final Girl in the movie that spawned one of the most iconic franchises in slasher flick history. And as you may know, she's the only FG in the franchise's history that did not have to take on Jason. More impressively, her dispatching of her tormentor was quick, and deliciously messy all at once.

7

Ginny Field

Friday the 13th, Part II

(1981)

Here, we have our third lady from the Friday the 13th franchise. Ginny does something most of the ladies here do not. She uses Jedi mind tricks on the killer, Mr. Jason Voorhees, himself. She dons his mom dingy, old sweater and launches into some rather nice trickeration, confusing poor Jay. And then she chops him with a machete. Cool.

6

Amanda Young

Saw

(2004)

Starring in possibly the most extreme case of Stockholm Syndrome ever filmed, we have Amanda. Honestly, her work as a Final Girl probably wouldn't put her on this list, at all. It's what she does with that status that not only gets her here, but with pretty lofty rating, as well. In that first movie, she is the lone survivor, escaping one nasty little trap. In subsequent movies, she does the unfathomable. Amanda becomes an apprentice to the killer. Eventually, this does cause some rifts in the relationship between her and the bad guy, but what are you gonna do?

5

Erin Harson

You're Next

(2013)

Truth told, if I were basing this list off their accomplishments in just one movie, I'd be tempted to put Erin at the very top of the list. After all, she doesn't just take out one slasher. She takes out a whole squad of folks and her boyfriend. Her survival isn't based on accidents and luck, either. She's a killing machine in her own right.

4

Nancy Thompson

A Nightmare on Elm Street

(1984)

Not only does Nancy take on one of the most iconic killers of all time, she comes back in one sequel to help another Final Girl take him out (A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, 1987) then shows up in another to take him out in "real life" (Wes Craven's New Nightmare, 1994). Obviously, she knows a thing or two about survival.

3

Laurie Strode

Halloween

(1978)

What she endures in the original Halloween is enough to get her on this list. In that movie, she's the embodiment of The Final Girl. However, it's what she does in subsequent movies that gets her near the top of the list. All told, she takes on Michael Myers and wins four times spread over 24 years. That's just in the Jamie Lee Curtis incarnation of the role. Add Scout Taylor-Compton's work in the rebooted series and those numbers jump to six movies over 31 years.

2

Ellen Ripley

Alien

(1979)

Before you even start, yes, she is the most iconic character on this list. Her status comes from what she means to pop culture. There's just no denying it. What gets her here is that the Alien movies are certainly slasher fare. It just so happens that the slasher is an extra-terrestrial and not an axe/machete/chainsaw wielding psycho. And she does it over the course of four movies. What keeps her from the top spot? Well, have you seen that fourth movie?

1

Sidney Prescott

Scream

(1996)

Here, we have the quintessential Final Girl. She's tough, smart, and always comes out on top. Another plus is that these victories come against different killers, multiple killers, in each of four movies, all of whom are specifically targeting her. All the while, there are books written, by her so-called friends, and movies filmed about her experiences that keep all of this playing out in the public eye. The tiara is hers.

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Insidious: Chapter 2

Directed by James Wan.

2013. Rated PG-13, 105 minutes.

Cast:

Patrick Wilson

Rose Byrne

Ty Simpkins

Lin Shaye

Steve Coulter

Barbara Hershey

Leigh Wannell

Angus Sampson

Danielle Bisutti

When we last left the Lambert family, they rescued their son from the annoying ghosts that started following them around. Unfortunately, Elise, the lady they hired to help them, died in the process. Well, where there's a dead body, there are police. And they don't wanna hear any crap about a haunted house. Yes. We know that's the truth, but try explaining that in a court of law. Thought so. Anyhoo, as far as the cops are concerned, all signs point to Renai (Byrne) as Elise's murderer. While they're conducting their investigation, the Lamberts figure out they have bigger fish to fry. With Josh (as the main target of the happenings, they realize that the house is still haunted.

We're treated to another round of things going bump in the night. And much of the day for that matter. However, it's the things going bump that make all the difference between this movie and its predecessor. Okay. This is as good a time as any to tell you I didn't like the first Insidious. To me, the ghosts in that movie never seemed like they were really threatening to the people involved. They just showed up, made a funny face and lurched toward someone like they weren't actually trying to get them. It was all rather silly. This time around, the ghosts have more purpose. It feels like they want to do some damage. Better yet, we get a nicely fleshed out back story for them that is much more interesting than what's happening on this side of purgatory. 

I'm not being completely fair. The stuff going on with the family is better than it was in the first movie, too. A lot of this has to do with its juxtaposition with a better ghost story. Fine, I'll take it however I can get it. Much of it plays like The Amityville Horror. This is also fine because it adds some much needed life to the proceedings. The kids are de-emphasized as we focus on whether or not Josh has been driven crazy by his supernatural house guests, or is something entirely different going on. All of the extra intrigue helps this one zip by instead of trudging forward like one of the first movie's apparitions.

 Director James Wan has built up his own little cottage industry of haunted house flicks starring Patrick Wilson. This includes both Insidious movies and the far better The Conjuring and its sequel on the way. Thankfully, this second Insidious has more in common with The Conjuring than with its predecessor. It isn't quite that good, but it functions solidly. The major plus here being the Psycho inspired ghost. It adds a sense of urgency to the proceedings that was sorely missing the first time around. Having said all of this, I understand that plenty of people loved the original, or at least shelled out money to see it. I also know that my opinion runs counter to popular thought on both films, but what can I say? I think the first one sucked and I like this one okay.

MY SCORE: 6/10

Click here for my review of Insidious

Kiss of the Damned

Directed by Xan Cassavetes.

2012, Rated R, 97 minutes. 

Cast: 

Josephine de La Baume 

Milo Ventimiglia 

Roxane Mesquida 

Anna Mouglalis 

Michael Rapaport 

Riley Keough 

Juan Luis Acevedo

Boy Paolo (Ventimiglia) meets girl Djuna (de La Baume) one night in a video store. 'Member those? Right then they go on an impromptu date. It goes so well she invites him back to her place. Just before they get down to the nitty gritty, she switches gears and kicks him out. Damn. Hate when that happens. Still, he's so smitten he returns to her house the next night. She won't let him in because of her "condition." Since he's a persistent bastard, she agrees to give him a big sloppy kiss and winds up biting his lip so hard that it bleeds and sends him packing again. Ouch. Unable to take a hint, he approaches her later when he spots her out and about. What the hell, dude? No means no. Well, sorta, in this case. He again sweet talks his way into her place. Realizing this guy will stop at nothing to get in her pants, she finally lets him know what her condition is. Djuna...yes, Tarantino fans, the D is silent...is a vampire. She's usually able to control herself, but she has a very dangerous "O face." Of course, Paolo doesn't believe any of this, blinded by his raging hard-on and all. To prove it, she has him literally chain her to her bed, which seems to be right up his alley, and lets him get to work. Sure enough, before he even gets little Paolo out, Djuna grows fangs.

Dear reader, I must pause right here in the middle of the recap section of the review to inject myself into the movie. After the lip biting incident I'd be done with her. Let's suppose I wasn't, though. When she brings out the chains, that's my nex cue to get away. Bondage ain't my thing. Okay, maybe she is so fine and I'm just horny enough to stay. In that case, we'd have to figure a way to restrain her head (something they didn't do whatsoever) on the off chance she really is a vampire because I'm planning on being in close proximity. Know what I'm sayin'? If while I'm getting my semi-necrophilia on, she sprouts fangs, whatever courage I had would suddenly go soft as I bolted out of door ASAP. No way in hell would I do what Paolo does. Now back to our regularly scheduled review.

Paolo acts all taken aback, poorly acts I should say, and Djuna bursts into tears. then, yes, he removes her from her shackles. Before you know it, he puts the biscuit in the basket and she gives him one hell of a hickie. The next day, he wakes up to the obvious: he's been Dracularized. They live together in undead bliss until Djuna's crazy sister Mimi (Mesquida) shows up and moves herself in. She is also a vampire. Everyone in the vampire world trying  to deal with this chick's insanity ensues.

Kiss of the Damned presents some nice ideas and takes vampire lore in an interesting direction. Vampirism is often used as a metaphor for something in the real world. In this case, it's drug addiction. In the film's universe most civilized vampires are like recovering addicts. They only drink synthetic blood when they can get it and hunt down an animal when they can't. Those that dine regularly on humans are the ones who still get high and they'll do anything to get their fix. This describes Mimi to a tee. There is much talk of sending her to rehab. However, this is a vampire flick so we're not working up to some tearful intervention. Mimi is clearly the villain. She's a fun one and gets better as things move along.

The whole movie gets better as it goes. Early on, we are distracted by some atrocious acting with only slightly better dialogue. Then, we're nearly bored by the prospect of sitting through yet another cheesy love stoy, no matter how much sex they have. And they have plenty. Then a funny thing happens. Mimi kicks her antics into high gear and the story gets fascinating. We are roped in to her sinister plotting and begin thinking about how Djuna and/or Paolo are going to stop her. Unfortunately, the movie then pricks our balloon with a sharp needle when it simply aborts itself.

Wait, what?

I'll explain.

Kiss of the Damned ends on a completely random and unsatisfying note. It could be construed as a commentary on the dangers of addiction. If so, it's too clever by half. The problem is it has nothing to do with anyone doing anything to resolve our conflict. On top of this, a human character is involved which only serves to highlight the fact we should have gotten to know her way better than we did. She briefly appears a couple times before the climactic scene. The best way for me to describe what happens without spoiling it is to say "oops." It's the type of finale a movie can get away with if it passes itself off as a slice of life story, or maybe if it's a Coen Brothers flick. Here, it just makes me want to grab a wooden stake and hunt down the director.

You're Next

Directed by Adam Wingard.

2011. Rated R, 95 minutes.

Cast:

Sharni Vinson

Nicholas Tucci

Wendy Glenn

A. J. Bowen

Joe Swanberg

Barbara Crampton

Rob Moran

Ti West

Some families can never sit down together and have a peaceful dinner. This is true for the Davison family. However, things are taken to a whole new level when arrows start flying in through the windows, killing one party guest. Yup, their already dysfunctional bunch is under siege by strangers outside the house . Of course, these strangers don't remain outside for long. While they're coming in, the Davisons are trying to get out. By the way, it's not just the Davisons. There's mom Aubrey (Crampton) and dad Paul (Moran), who own this beautiful home. Presumably, they are in their sixties. I'm judging by conversations that place the older kids near forty, if not beyond that age. If I went by mama's looks, I'd say she couldn't be their mother. Maybe she's a hot, milfy, slightly older sister. Yeah, I said that. Either roll your eyes or agree. Anyhoo, their three sons have all brought their girlfriends and their daughter has brought her boyfriend. In other words, we're nicely set up for a sizable body count. Oh, if you somehow didn't know this, the house is pretty secluded. The one neighbor and his barely legal girlfriend are in the movie for less time than Omar Epps and Jada Pinkett-Smith were in Scream 2. Their part of the story just doesn't unfold in public, the way that one did. They're also far less interesting, too. With them out of the way, home invasion madness ensues.

You're Next actually mixes its horror sub-genres. While home invasion is the dominant theme, it makes plenty of use of slasher flick tropes. For a long time, our intruders don't seem to want anything other than to kill the occupants of the house in what turns out to be "one by one" fashion. We also get a "final girl" out of the deal. I won't completely spoil it, but you'll probably figure out who that is rather quickly. She'll be the one kicking bad guy ass. And she does it in gloriously gruesome style.

Speaking of gruesome, one of the draws of the movie is its gore. This isn't some deep, psychological horror pulling our most submerged fears to the surface. This is a study in how much damage can be done to the human body using whatever you can find around the house. Amazingly, this includes a blender. No screwing around with atmosphere, here. It's all about the blood and guts. At this, the movie does a very nice job. A number of scenes induce a wince or two from the viewer. The most memorable of them includes that aforementioned blender.

Sidenote (minor spoiler alert, too): The first dinner guest that buys it is played by critically acclaimed horror director Ti West. Well, he's not acclaimed by this critic, whatsoever. Plenty of people were singing his praises for House of the Devil and The Innkeepers. I hate both movies with unbridled passion. Even though I would be a very happy man if he never gets to yell "action" ever again, I don't really want him dead. Still, I'd be lying if I said seeing him get killed in this movie didn't bring a smile to my face. If this makes me evil, so be it.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program.

Despite what I've just said, the plot is not wholly irrelevant. There really is an air of mystery to it all. We really have no idea what's going on for a long stretch of time. Fortunately, the other stuff is interesting enough to hold us. When things start clearing up, it makes perfect sense. There isn't a ton to comprehend, but what's here works. It does so in a way that makes us cheer for our heroine that much more. Honestly, by that point, we're already on her side, but when we figure out what's happening we really start rooting for her.

This is not a movie that's re-inventing the horror wheel by any stretch of the imagination. It does approach it with a sly and twisted sense of humor. The story is functional and the kills are inventive. There is enough suspense to keep us wondering during any down time. The acting and the dialogue are all adequate for a horror flick. The special fx bringing all the mutilation to life are all practical from what I can tell and very well done. Everything leads to an intense final few minutes. You're Next is just a bloody, fun ride. Bloody in the literal sense, that is.

Thursday Movie Picks: Zombie Movies

It's another Thursday. Fall is well underway, and so is A Horrorble Time here at Dell on Movies. Welcome to another edition of Thursday Movie Picks, the weekly meme hosted by Wanderer of Wandering Through the Shelves. Go check out her site. Join the meme now. Period.

The rules are simple. She picks a theme, you pick three movies to suit said theme. They must either be the best (or your faves), the worst (or your most hated), or hidden gems. This week's theme is zombie movies.

I know, I know. I'm probably required by law to mention at least one George A. Romero movie. Sorry, not doing that. Arrest me, now. My next mandated movie is 28 Days Later. Yeah, well, that just sucks and I don't care what you say. Therefore, that ain't happening.

You know me. I'm going to do something a bit different. I'm going to combine all three categories into one glorious catch all. These movies are definitely hidden, but that's because they suck so they're among the worst zombie flicks out there. However, they're so terrible they actually might be the best ever made, also. If none of that babbling makes any sense, let's just say that all three of my picks are so bad, they're awesome!

Raw Force

AKA Kung Fu Cannibals

(1982)

Zombies don't show up in this particular affair until we get near the end. By this time, they're just icing on a bizarre cake. What do I mean? By the time they appear, we've already seen cannibal monks, a cruise full of drunken, hard partying martial arts students, Nazi jade smugglers, piranhas, and nekkidness. Lots and lots of nekkidness. Our zombies are actually disgraced martial artists raised from the dead to do the bidding of the aforementioned monks. So yeah, basically samurai zombies. Click here to find out how this steaming pile of unfathomably bad goodness relates to The Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Redneck Zombies

(1989)

When some local yokels get a hold of some toxic waste, since every hillbilly is completely illiterate rendering the warning labels obsolete, they make moonshine out of it. Of course, this transforms everyone who drinks it into a flesh-eating zombie. Yup, this includes the zombie baby pictured above. Luckily, there just happens to be a group of college students in the area just waitin' to be terrorized. Slip in some references to Texas Chainsaw Massacre and some rather heavy handed commentary on chewing tobacco and this Troma production goes all...Troma.

Zombie Strippers

(2008)

Let's start with the fact that horror icon Robert Englund is in this movie sans fedora, striped sweater, or claws. He's basically just a patron at a strip club. His leading lady, if you want to call her that, is also an icon. She is a porn icon, but iconic nonetheless. I'm talking the one and only Jenna Jameson. How'd you know she plays a stripper? You must be psychic, or something. Anyhoo, she's not just any stripper, but the club's featured dancer and the first to be infected by one of the re-animated deceased soldiers that wanders into the shake joint. That soldier, by the way, is part of the movie's attempt at satirizing the presidency of George W. Bush. A good and terrible time is had by all.

The O Canada Blogathon: American Mary

It's time once again to participate in another blogathon. I love these things. I get to "meet" more of you because more of you come here. I'd say it's a win-win situation. Yes, I'm assuming that your coming here is a win for you. Let's move on.

This particular blogathon is hosted by Ruth of Silver Screenings and Kristina of Speakeasy because, as they happily and correctly point out, "the Hollywood movies you love owe a lot to Canada." They invited bloggers from all over to post on some aspect of Canada's contribution to the cinematic universe. A rather long list of folks have signed on, so swing by as many as you can and check them out. Hopefully, if and when they stop by here to read this post they won't be too pissed about what I did to the very classy black and white banners they created for us bloggers to use. Sorry ladies, but there is a reason for that.

For my entry, I'm going to keep in line with what's going on around my own blog all month, and that's sticking with horror. Now, when I say Canadian horror, most people will think David Cronenberg. They should. Even if I'd never seen anything else he's done, I hold Videodrome in such high regard that his spot on the pantheon of film makers from our neighbors to the north is secure. Yeah, I'm American. So, of course, I would pick a Canadian movie with an American name.

American Mary is directed by twins Jen and Sylvia Soska, pictured above (told you there was a reason), who have been making some noise in the horror world over the last few years. Born April 29, 1983 in North Vancouver the girls got into horror at an early age. Eventually, they would attend film school. During this time they created their debut movie Dead Hooker in a Trunk (2009). It was made on a less than shoe string budget of $2500 USD and became a cult favorite. Together, they run Twisted Twins Productions. American Mary is their follow-up which was actually financed by their parents who re-financed their house to do so. They definitely prove that where there's a will, there's a way. Their third movie, See No Evil 2, is due out next week.  But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's focus on this movie...

Directed by The Soska Sisters.

2012. Rated R, 102 minutes.

Cast:

Katharine Isabelle

Antonio Cupo

Tristan Risk

David Lovgren

Paula Lindberg

Julia Maxwell

Clay St. Thomas

John Emmet Tracy

Jen Soska

Sylvia Soska

Mary Mason (Isabelle) is a medical school student well on her way to becoming a surgeon. She is also having serious financial problems. Like a lot of female students having trouble making ends meet, she decides to try her hand at stripping. while "interviewing" with Billy Barker (Cupo), a sleazy club owner, fate intervenes. One of his goons sustains a serious injury and an emergency procedure is needed. Since Billy noticed Mary's career aspirations on her resume...yup, she took a resume to a strip joint audition...he offers her five thousand bucks on the spot to patch up his boy. He stresses that she won't even have to show him her tits. She just has to get it done, right there in the club, no questions asked. Reluctantly, she agrees and all goes well. Pretty soon, Beatrice (Risk), one of the club's dancers, gets hold of Mary. She heard about our heroine's handiwork and wants Mary to perform some pretty wild cosmetic surgery on a friend. Beatrice, by the way, has already been drastically altered to look like legendary cartoon character Betty Boop. This also goes extremely well. Back in her regular life, just when things seem to be turning in her favor, let's just say she suffers a serious setback in her relationship with an instructor. Spurred on by this event, she quits med school and dives head first into the extreme body modification world, becoming a highly sought after "doctor." Of course, a girl has to practice her craft. With billy's help, she uses that instructor for her own personal cutting board.

American Mary is a movie that makes a go at being several different things. At some of those, it's very successful. At others, not so much. With revenge being a major motivating factor, it most obviously attempts to be an I Spit on Your Grave inspired girl-power flick. This is effective, but not in the way you might think. After starting on that conventional road, it turns the concept on its ear and becomes about the abuse of that power and how intoxicating it can be to have it. Mary cautiously wields hers and even behaves in an indignant manner toward those who request something of her that she thinks doesn't make full use of her abilities. She berates some poor guy who asks her for something so simple as piercings. In her eyes, this is a waste of her talent. From time to time we're reminded how she hones that talent by seeing some of the heinous things she does to that instructor.

The film is also successful at skewering our notions of beauty and the lengths we'll go in order to achieve it. Granted, Beatrice and her friend are in the tiniest possible section of the bell curve. Almost. Two sisters, the actual directors of the film by the way, show up in the last act and take things to whole new level. The point is, the absurd actions of these people bring our own insanity into the light.

Where American Mary falters is with the more straight forward elements of story-telling. While Mary's life is certainly an intriguing one, the drama surrounding it is not. More accurately, it's not presented in an interesting enough way. We get the typical cat-and-mouse between Mary and a cop looking for the missing instructor. This just hits the usual notes. The cop is too bland, and the writing makes no effort to elevate him beyond being anything other than perfunctory. More troubling is the relationship between Mary and her grandmother. Much is made of it, since Grandma seems to be the only other person she really cares about. Perhaps because we only hear Grandma's disembodied voice over the phone, or because their conversations aren't necessarily the warmest, but it doesn't resonate as much as it should. It comes to a point where we're definitely supposed to feel something, but don't. finally, there's the attempt to show how complicated a relationship Mary has with Billy. there is a weird sexual tension between the two that's handled in too abrupt a fashion.

Despite its shortcomings, American Mary is a fascinating watch. It puts forth some thought provoking concepts and outlandish visuals that keep us engaged even as the narrative quality wanes. For some, the ideas presented may be enough to carry the movie on their own. They don't quite pull off that trick for me, but there is definitely plenty to work with. Better execution of the plot would have made this downright brilliant. As it stands, it's a good movie that slips in some social commentary and has the courage to be fairly unique.