Girl Week 2017: Atomic Blonde

Tyrannosaur

The World's End

Directed by Edgar Wright.

2013. Rated R, 109 minutes. 

Cast: 

Simon Pegg 

Nick Frost 

Rosamund Pike 

EddieMarsan 

Paddy Considine 

Martin Freeman 

Michael Smiley 

David Bradley

PierceBrosnan 

Sophie Evans

In the twenty-plus years since college, Gary King (Pegg) has had a rough go of it. We meet him while he's in rehab, recounting the best night of his life. It was near the end of this senior year when he and his chums tried to complete the "Golden Mile." This includes drinking at least one pint of beer at each of the twelve pubs stretched over a few blocks in their hometown of Newton Haven. They didn't quite make it, but it was still an epic night. Realizing that even his very best night was one of unfulfilled potential he decides to give it another try. He recruits his old buddies, all of whom reluctantly agree despite the fact they've moved on from such antics. Except for repeatedly butting heads with Andy (Frost), his former sidekick, things start off reasonably well. This changes a few pubs in when the gang discovers there is something very strange about the people in their old stomping grounds. It seems much of the population has been replaced by robots. Our heroes trying to survive the night, figure out who is responsible and why, and still complete the "Golden Mile" ensues.

Early on, the movie is just a tad flat. Our hero attempting to convince his buddies to come along and then arguing over the past is okay, but nothing special. It's done to establish the characters, which is fine. It just isn't as funny as one might expect given the track record of the people involved. There are the usual sly references to other films, some overt ones, a healthy dose of sarcasm and smarter-than-you-think jokes. The main issue is we find ourselves waiting on something, anything to happen. Thankfully, just as we're getting restless, something does. The robots show up and the movie shifts into high gear.

With the switch in gears comes a genre change, too. We go from a straight comedy to one that inclues action and sci-fi. The fun factor increases exponentially and the things we did like from earlier in the movie remain. The jokes come a little quicker and the time between them is filled with a much more kinetic energy. Beneath it all, the relationship between Gary and Andy barrels toward a head. Something has to give. As much as dealing with the robots, getting us to brace ourselves for the inevitable moment of truth the two must share propels the movie.

Through all of the goings on, we get a surprisingly intense examination of Gary. He appears to be an acute sufferer of Peter Pan Syndrome. He doesn't wanna grow up. His reasoning is stated plainly early on, but over time we are made aware how deep his scars run. Honestly, much of it is his own doing. This makes him a pathetic figure, though not entirely sympathetic. He's just another big man on campus who drowned when he found himself in deeper waters. Instead of swimming, he chose to sink. We don't necessarily dislike Gary, but our heart belongs more to Andy. Andy is the one who thinks most clearly of the bunch, and stands up to Gary. Most importantly, he has his act together.

I understand depth is not the reason we watch comedies. It's nice that it's there, but we want to laugh. Watching this, we do. How much depends on a few factors. One is how you feel about a style of humor often, but not always, more subtle than much of what passes for comedy these days. For instance, a rather clever running gag involves the etymology of the word 'robot.' Another factor might be whether or not you've seen Shaun of the Dead. The World's End covers a lot of the same territory. At times, it feels like we just swapped out zombies for 'bots. So while it's a fun and funny movie, even a notch above most recent comedies, it doesn't quite achieve greatness.

MY SCORE: 7.5/10

Jack the Giant Slayer

Directed by Bryan Singer.

2013. Rated PG-13, 114 minutes.

Cast:

Nicholas Hoult

Eleanor Tomlinson

Ewan McGregor

Stanley Tucci

Eddie Marsan

Ewen Bremner

Ian McShane

Christopher Fairbank

Bill Nighy

Mingus Johnston

Ralph Brown

By now, you've probably heard the tale of Jack and the Beanstalk. Jack (Hoult) is a poor farm boy and things aren't going so well. He is sent out to sell his horse so his family can buy some food. Instead of money, he swaps the animal for some supposedly magic beans which is none too pleasing to the person who sent him. Lo and behold, the beans get planted accidentally, resulting in a beanstalk that stretches to the sky. At the top of this beanstalk is a man-eating giant and a princess to save. If my memory serves correctly.

Basically the same thing happens, here. The first difference is that we're dealing with an entire race of giants. Another is that along with Jack, King Brahmwell (McShane) sends a rescue party after Isabelle (Tomlinson), the princess. Among them is his top advisor, Lord Roderick (Tucci), and his top guard Elmont (McGregor). Elmont is a faithful soldier, but Roderick wants to take over both realms as he is in possession of a magic crown enabling him to do so. Oh, almost forgot something you probably already know. Jack is falling hard for Isabelle.

There is another difference more major than any I've mentioned thus far. In this world, the magic beans and the giants are part of a famous legend on par with the boogeyman in the eyes of many. A select few, the king and Roderick for sure, know the stories to be true. This adds a misplaced and unnecessary layer of self-awareness. Instead of the tale just being, we have to hear constantly about how they all thought it was just a myth. By itself, that wouldn't be terrible, but it's talk that goes nowhere and doesn't enhance the film. It just pads the run time with more needless exposition than we already get from the rest of the movie.

Everything else that happens is paint-by-numbers. It's a fairy tale told from Prince Charming's Jack's point of view, but that's hardly enough of a change in perspective to make a difference. In fact, it's only a very slight change. Normally, these are male-centric stories told through the eyes of the damsel in distress and the wicked person who put her there. This dispenses with any faux-girly pretenses yet still gives us the same outcome. We know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen. The kids in the target audience know it, too.

What all of this menas is Jack the Giant Slayer is a movie that has its worth resting completely upon its spectacle. At being one, it's a modest success. The beanstalk itself is fabulously rendered and causes all sorts of mayhem. The giants are also pretty well done. A few of them even have personalities which helps the cause a bit. The action scenes, which almost always involve the stalk, work out solidly. Our hero, portrayed by Nicholas Hoult of Warm Bodies is rather bland, here. As the villain, Stanley Tucci is typically excellent. Neither is enough to save or sink this movie. It can only be what it is: pretty, somewhat fun, and entirely derivative.

Snow White and the Huntsman

Directed by Rupert Sanders.

2012. Rated PG-13, 127 minutes.

Cast:

Kristen Stewart

Charlize Theron

Chris Hemsworth

Sam Claflin

Ian McShane

Bob Hoskins

Toby Jones

Eddie Marsan

Ray Winstone

Nick Frost

Lily Cole

Christopher Obi

Sam Spruell

The gang’s all here. Of course, there’s Snow White (Stewart) and, eventually, seven dwarves. It should go without saying that we have a wicked stepmother/Queen (Theron) and her knowledgeable, talkative mirror (Obi). Like any fairytale worth its pixie dust, there is also a prince (Claflin). Finally, there’s the guy who takes the dwarves’ place in the title, the huntsman (Hemsworth). The general parameters of the story are familiar. Mama White dies and a short while later her widowed hubby, the king, re-marries and finds himself all killed by his new bride. She takes over the kingdom, locks Snow White in a foreboding tower and brings in her mirror as her top consultant. Years later, Snow White manages a daring escape into the Dark Forest, a bit different from the most famous versions of the story. Since the queen’s powers are useless in that particular part of the kingdom, she hires the huntsman to track her down and bring her back.

Why the queen needs our heroine alive is part of the twist that provides this reimagining a darkness missing from the tale we’re used to, but a few steps closer to how it was originally told with regard to tone. The queen’s main purpose in life is maintaining her beauty, some semblance of youth and remaining fairest of them all. No matter what. To do this, she has young maidens hauled into the castle whom she robs of the qualities she desires, leaving them old, wrinkled and near death. She soon finds out that if she does the same to Snow White, she’ll no longer have that craving to satisfy.

There are some other twists, none hindering our recognition of the story we all know. The magic lies in the tricks played on our eyes. The purposefully drab interiors and pristine white snow filled exteriors make wonderful canvasses for splashes of color and quick striking, well executed special fx. All along the way we’re treated to images that seem sparse, but are deceptively lush. Our pupils dart around the screen grasping at fleeting flourishes of cgi goodness. Though not as big or overwhelming as in something like The Avengers, they’re perhaps more believable in their presentation. This includes our dwarves, all played by, for lack of a better term, normal sized actors. Apologies due to any little people who feel slighted by the phrase or being excluded from the cast. Still, it’s very nicely done.

Of course, fx alone don’t make a movie. The meat we readily chew on is the performance of Charlize Theron. She dominates the film much the way Julia Roberts does in the same role in 2012’s other Snow White flick, Mirror Mirror, but in a different fashion. Where Roberts’ queen cackles maniacally in the self-aware manner that lets us know she’s playing as much for laughs as she is menace, Theron’s queen has no clue she’s a character in a fairytale. She seethes, hisses and vampirically gains strength by literally draining it from others. Like the bloodsucker, she earns both our dread and the pity we reserve for one whose seemingly boundless power is really fueled by a fatal flaw. Perhaps, this flaw is really a thinly veiled commentary on our mass obsession with defeating Father Time. A less talented actress might have unconsciously imbued the character with more of the Roberts qualities, but being in the wrong movie, would undermine the seriousness with which this fantasy is approached. It would be like Cesar Romero’s Joker in Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight as opposed to Heath Ledger’s. Perfectly suited for the 1960s TV show, he’d be sorely out of place in the more realistic Gotham City. Obviously, the kingdom is not meant to be realistic but it is meant to evoke the Middle Earth of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy (and upcoming movie The Hobbit), not Gilligan’s Island.

Since we brought up vampires and less talented actresses, let’s talk about the person whose character gets top billing, Kristen Stewart. Unsurprisingly, she’s a weak link but not as much as one would think. Thank goodness for low expectations, I guess. She “Bellas” her way through another role, albeit less depressingly, as her character actually wants to live as opposed to just yearning to be undead. Our rooting for her is due to our Pavlovian conditioning to do so for “the good guy,” not because she’s the least bit compelling. Trust me, she isn’t. If there is a movie where she is, I’d have to say it’s The Runaways, an underrated biopic about the 70s all-girl rock band of the same name. Even there, Dakota Fanning acts circles around her.

Our heroine’s shortcomings aside, I find Snow White and the Huntsman an enjoyable spin on the old tale. Admittedly, Theron is hamming it up, but she is so good at it we can’t help but be spellbound. Then there are those enticing visuals. They help drive the story rather than smother it beneath an avalanche of pixels. Liberties taken with the narrative are fun, if a tad predictable. In any event, they enhance the telling of this version, not desecrate our memory of others. It is by no means perfect, but it is fun without the corniness and boring stretches of the kiddie-fied Mirror Mirror.

MY SCORE: 7/10

War Horse

Directed by Steven Spielberg.

2011. Rated PG-13, 146 minutes.

Cast:

Jeremy Irvine

Emily Watson

David Thewlis

Peter Mullan

Niels Arestrup

Benedict Cumberbatch

Tom Hiddleston

Eddie Marsan

Toby Kebbell

David Kross

Of course, a horse is a horse, of course. Well, except for Joey. Joey is a bit different. After all, they made this movie about him. To be fair, it’s about him and his human Albert (Irvine). They get together when Albert’s dad Ted (Mullan) spends just about all of the family’s money on Joey at an auction. The problem is, being farmers with a particularly rough patch of land, they need a big, strong plow horse. Joey is small and sleek. Ted, a heavy drinker, only bought Joey because he sees something special in the animal. He’s just not sure what. This upsets his wife (Watson) who realizes the landlord is breathing down their necks and farming is their only source of income. They need Joey to work a miracle and plow this land. Ted has a bum leg and can’t train the horse for the job, if that’s even possible. Therefore, Albert steps up to take on the task. Quite literally through an act of God, Albert and Joey get the field plowed. The end.

Okay, that’s really just the beginning. All of that is to show us the special bond between the boy and the horse. It also scratches the surface on Joey’s incredible intelligence. The real conflict happens when World War I has come to Britain and the British army is looking for horses. Since that whole farming thing didn’t quite pan out, due to another act of God, Ted sells Joey to the army so he can pay the rent. This is in spite of Albert’s relentless pleading. The horse is off to battle while the boy, still too young to legally join the war effort, finagles his way into the service in hopes of a reunion with his one true love. Okay, I may be reading a bit much into it, but that’s the way it feels. Luckily for you, and I think for Albert, I’m not sure Joey trots that way. Thankfully, we’ll never find out for sure.

The battle scenes are harrowing. We alternate between watching Joey and Albert in their own separate dangerous situations. Many bombs go boom, kicking up much dirt as various unnecessary characters die. Even in the midst of war, Joe and Albert manage to form bonds with some of their fellow soldiers. Yes, Joey becomes good pals with another horse and even saves his equine buddy’s life. At this point, the great and powerful Spielberg commands you to cry. Disobedience will only bring about even more menacing sappiness. Never mind, you’ll get that no matter what.

If you can’t tell, War Horse is nearly two and a half hours of manipulating you to make liberal use of the tissue of your choice. The story is well-told, as is most of Spielberg’s work. However, the cheese is piled so thick it makes his last Indiana Jones movie look edgy by comparison. The difference is this movie seems to think it is not a shameless piece of fluff when that’s precisely what it is. It takes itself seriously despite the silliness of it all. Admittedly, it’s a beautiful looking movie with top notch cinematography and some wonderful individual scenes. Unfortunately, when it all comes together, War Horse crumbles under the weight of its own corniness.

MY SCORE: 5/10

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Directed by Guy Ritchie.

2011. Rated PG-13, 129 minutes.

Cast:

Robert Downey Jr.

Jude Law

Noomi Rapace

Jared Harris

Stephen Fry

Rachel McAdams

Eddie Marsan

Geraldine James

Paul Anderson

Kelly Reilly

As is always the case, we find Sherlock Holmes (Downey Jr.) embroiled in the biggest case of his career. He’s matching wits with Professor James Moriarty (Harris) who appears to have connections to assassinations around the globe. However, his sanity seems to be waning when his right hand man Watson (Law) finds him in quite a disheveled state. After getting wind of what Holmes is up to, Watson makes clear that he will not help on this one because he’s getting married and leaving for his honeymoon tomorrow. Since a Sherlock Holmes adventure is nothing without Watson, it’s inevitable that our hero convinces his sidekick to tag along “just this once.”


With regards to the main plot, solving the case, A Game of Shadows works very well. It’s less convoluted and without the notions of supernatural occurrences of its predecessor. We get a bad guy who is an intellectual match for our hero. The two have some enjoyable back-and-forths. We also get some well-presented action sequences. Director Guy Ritchie doesn’t deviate from the visual style of the orginal, which he also helmed, and it pays off. The one carry over that doesn’t work quite as well is Sherlock’s ability to completely predict a momentarily upcoming situation. It’s okay for the most part but grows tired. The way Ritchie tries to inject life back into it, doesn’t actually help: it becomes a telepathic conversation between Holmes and his adversary.


The story surrounding the conflict is where AGoS falters. It masks its flaws with comedy that’s actually pretty well done. Though often settling on slapstick and cranking the homoerotic factor to 11, it’s fun and keeps things moving along. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law work both aspects well showcasing wonderful chemistry throughout. While Downey has the flashier role, Law is perfect straight man. The pun is intended because I can crack homoerotic jokes, too. The problem lies within the part of the tale it brings up as rather prominent then abruptly drops. Okay, I didn’t really how punny that sentence was until I was actually typing it out. Sorry. Let’s move on.

Remember what I said about Sherlock’s sanity? Well, we never follow that thread. Doing so has the potential to provide the franchise with serious depth. However, the operative word is “serious.” Probably in order to keep ticket revenue fairly deep into nine digit territory, Guy Ritchie seems dead set against doing anything thought provoking. Whimsy, fisticuffs and chases rule the Sherlock Holmes universe. If that is indeed the case, the movie would’ve been better off not even mentioning that our hero might be a little off.

Honestly, I may be nit-picking a bit. Then again, that’s what you’re here for. Still, let’s not forget AGoS is a fun ride. As mentioned, Downey and Law are both great. Meanwhile, the action and humor makes the time go by pretty quickly. If you enjoyed the first movie, I see no reason you shouldn’t like this one. I will say it’s just a shade below its predecessor on quality. By the way, fans of the original Swedish version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo get a nice treat seeing Noomi Rapace as our damsel in distress. It’s a role that requires very little of her immense talent, but I suspect it pays a lot better.

MY SCORE: 7/10

Sherlock Holmes

Directed by Guy Ritchie.
2009. Rated PG-13, 128 minutes.
Cast:
Robert Downey Jr.
Jude Law
Rachel McAdams
Mark Strong
Eddie Marsan
Robert Maillet
Geraldine James
Kelly Reilly
William Houston

Plot: After being convicted of murder, Lord Blackwood (Strong) is executed. However, he apparently resurrects himself and threatens to take over the world. Super sleuth Sherlock Holmes (Downey Jr), who captured Blackwood in the first place, attempts to solve the mystery of his rising and save the day.

The Good: First and foremost, it's fun. The action scenes are well done, with top notch special fx. Massive objects go flying through the air and they actually appear dangerous, not like the green-screen wizardry we know them to be. The fight scenes are fun, as well. They're excellently choreographed and, thanks to Sherlock's pre-fight analysis, a source of humor. There's also lots of other humor. Two hours whizzes by because we're having a blast.

The Bad: It's so busy dazzling us with high-energy sequences, it never really shows us the secrets to the big mystery. Instead, Holmes just explains it all during a last minute monologue. I suppose that's to make him appear all the more brilliant, but I prefer to learn it as the hero does, not wait to be told just before the credits roll. Holmes himself is a bit of a disappointment, also. I've heard this version might be the closest to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original literary interpretation of the character. Unfortunately, it's also very close to the lead actor's portrayal of a very recent character. Holmes feels like Tony Stark of the Iron Man movies, only with a British accent. He's brilliant, narcissistic, arrogant, self destructive and an alcoholic wise-ass. See?

The Ugly: Don't they know midget is a politically incorrect word.

Recommendation: This is a highly entertaining romp through 19th century London. It'll definitely work for popcorn movie night. Yes, it's only popcorn fluff. Still, it's good popcorn fluff.

MY SCORE: 7/10