Rapture-Palooza

Directed by Paul Middleditch.

2013. Rated R, 85 minutes.

Cast:

Craig Robinson

Anna Kendrick

John Francis Daley

Rob Corddry

Ana Gasteyer

Thomas Lennon

Ken Jeong

Tyler Labine

Paul Scheer

Adrianna Costa

If you're familiar with the Bible then you know that after the Rapture, things on Earth go haywire. Well, that's where we are. Much of the population has vanished from the planet and taken up residence in Heaven. Those left behind have to deal with locusts, blood rain, falling meteorites, wraiths, and yes, The Anti-Christ in the form of Earl Grundy (Robinson) who prefers to be called, what else, The Beast. He's taken over the U.S. government, dropped nukes on Chicago and Orlando among other places around the world. Now, he's living in Seattle and has taken a liking to local girl Lindsey (Kendrick). Not being the sort of girl that goes for bad boys, but one that does have a boyfriend, she turns him down flat. Unfortunately, you just can't tell the Anti-Christ no. He gives her an ultimatum. Either she marries him or he will kill everyone in her family. She has eight hours to decide. What's a girl to do?

Immediately, we start down the path of religous satire. It's meant to be a rather irreverent one, at that. No problem. A number of good movies have successfully taken on organized religion. Even if you're a devout follower of one or another, you have to admit it's a big target. From time to time, someone is going to take a shot at it. Sadly, even if you were nodding off reading up to this point, nothing as interesting as this review happens in Rapture-Palooza. I'm not just tooting my own horn, either. Travel around to as many different sites and read as many different reviews as you want. I promise every one of them will be far more intriguing than this movie.

Our heroes are just plain bland, and yes, I purposely put two synonyms next to each other for emphasis. Anna Kendrick sleepwalks through her role in the lead. John Francis Daley, who plays her boyfriend Ben, whines his way through his. I really wanted to slap him. Hard. Twice. At least. As our villain, Craig Robinson pretty much does what Craig Robinson does. He isn't necessarily bad, just failed by the writing of his character. In a movie meant to spoof Christianity, the character of the Anti-Christ is ripe with possibilities. There are so many depths to be mined. However, this movie is content to have him talk dirty, really dirty, to Anna Kendrick. Further robbing the character of any power, his behavior, and his race merely exploit stereotypes in hopes of getting cheap laughs. It doesn't. Instead, it just plays like white guy paranoia. Literally, it feels like it's a movie about a big evil black guy out to take an innocent white woman from her loving white boyfriend. That their grand solution is trying to lock him up doesn't help matters. Oops, spoiler alert...not really.

Believe it or not, there are actually three potentially interesting characters in the movie. The first is Lindsey's mom Lora (Gasteyer). She was taken during the rapture, but was sent back. All she gets to do is cry. A loud, fake "movie" cry. Let's move on. Next is Mr. Murphy (Lennon). He's become a zombie, but doesn't try to eat anyone. Neither do any of the other zombies, but that's beside the point. Mr. Murphy seems to have a story that's begging to be told. He just pushes an imaginary lawn mower until he gets a real one. Sigh. Finally, Ben's dad Walt (Corddry). He's one of the few who has managed to make a nice living and has done so by working for The Beast. Hmmm....could be a complex character that gives us some food for thought. Nope. His job is to repeatedly urge Lindsey to marry his boss. Ugh. At least we get an unfunny cameo from Ken Jeong. SMH.

Here is where I usually try to wrap up my review with a nice tidy conclusion summarizing all of my thoughts on the movie. On a good day, I'll end it with a clever sentence. This ain't a good day, boys and girls. Rapture-Palooza sucks and I've spent far too much time on it.

MY SCORE: 0/10

Pain & Gain

Directed by Michael Bay.

2013. Rated R, 129 minutes.

Cast:

Mark Wahlberg

Dwayne Johnson

Anthony Mackie

Rebel Wilson

Tony Shalhoub

Ed Harris

Ken Jeong

Rob Corddry

Bar Paly

Michael Rispoli

Daniel Lugo (Wahlberg) knows that you'll never get anywhere in life without going after it, full throttle. He's a personal trainer tired of the dead-end position he holds at the gym where he works. Knowing that he's capable of much more, he talks his way into a better job at Sun Gym which is barely keeping its doors open. Within six weeks, he triples its membership, turning the place into the latest fitness hot spot. He still trains some of the clients himself. One of those people is Victor Kershaw (Shalhoub), a millionaire deli tycoon. Lugo befriends him and then hatches a plan to kidnap and extort him. To carry it out, he recruits his bestest buddy Adrian (Mackey), a body builder trained by Lugo who also happens to be impotent thanks to all the steroids he takes. That's the easy part. The hard part is getting a third party to join in. He manages to convince Paul Doyle (Johnson), an ex-con/body builder who has recently given his life over to Christ, but is in desperate need of income. Since none of the three is a criminal mastermind, things fall apart quickly. Blood and wackiness ensues. Oh, almost forgot, it's based on a true story. Mostly.

I'll just go ahead and say it right off the bat. This film is much better than it has any right to be. Let's keep it real. The first of this post, directed by Michael Bay, doesn't inspire confidence in me. I get a sense of dread when those words flash across the screen. That said, he has made a few movies I enjoy. I thought the first of the Transformers flicks was damn good, and so was The Island. I didn't hate The Rock, either. And sue me, but I'm an apologist for both Bad Boys movies. Ironically, seeing the first Bad Boys is a drawback going into Pain & Gain. That may be because I've seen Bad Boys way too many times, but the two films are way too similar looking. Lots of P&G is shot through the same orange filter. Many of the same establishing shots of the city are used. In fact, he repeats so many it often appears he's using stock footage. Finally, the way he shoots his characters is drenched in the familiar Michael Bay style, lots of low angles with the camera swirling around them. While those things detract from the movie, it's where Bay goes against his own grain that the movie excels. He lets the story breathe, giving us something to contemplate, and thankfully cuts way back on the explosions.

Helping that story sink its teeth into us are three very fun performances from this group of stooges. Lugo is clearly the Moe of this group. He's smarter than they are, but not anywhere near as intelligent as he thinks. The somewhat thoughtful Doyle is our Larry with Adrian stepping into Curly's shoes. Granted, this is a seriously demented version of the comic legends, but they pull off the act nicely. They have a nice chemistry that is glued together by Mackie. His character is a dim bulb that manages to make us laugh nearly every time he speaks. The Rock is also an underrated comic actor, and does fine work here. Of the three, he plays it straightest, giving Doyle an obliviousness that serves the movie well. Wahlberg, also underrated in the funny business, treads similar territory to his work in The Big Hit, Three Kings, and, most recently, 2 Guns. The major difference being that Lugo is easily recognizable as a slug right from the start and is just not likable.

As good as those guys are, the best performance in the movie belongs to Tony Shalhoub as their victim. He's also a disagreeable person. However, being that he's the one kidnapped and tortured we sort of feel for the guy. Sort of. Shalhoub plays it as a sweat soaked ball of slime. Really, it's that bad. Of course, bad means good. He causes a serious conflict in the viewer. We know we should sympathize with him, but he himself is so despicable we have to fight the urge to wish him harm.

We're not sure how we should feel about any of this. This is part of the movie's charm. We see things happen and laugh at them as we are appalled by them. When people get into tight situations, we want them to be punished AND to get away with it. At least early on. As the movie goes on, these people shred the hope that there is anything redeemable about them. This is where some people will be turned off. If you're looking for someone to root for here, you're watching the wrong movie. The two who come closest to fitting that description are Rebel Wilson in a hilarious turn and Ed Harris as our voice of reason. We like her because she's an innocent bystander in this outlandish turn of events. We get behind him because he is the de facto good guy. He's not fleshed out enough for us to really care about him, but we know he wants to see the right thing done.

Pain & Gain is not an easy movie to watch. As mentioned, it's a bunch of stupid and unlikable people doing stupid and unlikable things. Starts off sleazy, and only descends further from there. Much of humor is of the juvenile sort and, thanks to Adrian's impotence, is built upon an endless string of dick jokes. Somehow, in the midst of all this, it gives us a film provokes some thought in us even as we might be recoiling from all the scummy behavior. I'm not trying to tell you this is some high-minded drama worthy of Oscar praise. I will say that it is an enjoyable, if twisted adventure.

MY SCORE: 7/10

Escape from Planet Earth

Directed by Cal Brunker.

2013. Rated PG, 89 minutes.

Cast:

Brendan Fraser

Rob Corddry

Ricky Gervais

Jessica Alba

Sofia Vergara

Sarah Jessica Parker

Jonathan Morgan Heit

Paul Scheer

Scorch Supernova (Fraser) is the most famous astronaut/explorer/hero on Planet Baab. His devil-may-care attitude has gotten him into a lot of tight spots. Luckily for him, his brother Gary (Corddry) works back at Mission Control and always knows what to do to get him out of a jam. Of cours, there is no glory for running the show almost anonymously from your desk. Accolades are reserved for the star of the show. Gary is also a good judge of what missions might be too dangerous. Scorch is give one such assignment and decides to accept it against his brother’s better judgement. When Gary expresses his concern, the powers that be shout him down. Frustrated, he quits his job. However, after learning that Scorch has indeed been captured on “The Dark Planet,” Gary sneaks into a spaceship and takes off in hopes of rescuing his brother. If you couldn’t tell by the movie’s title, “The Dark Planet” is Earth.

The flip side of all those alien invasion flicks plays out. Almost. What if we were the bad guys in the close encounter? Not necessarily “we”, but definitely a human. It’s a nice turn of the tables that serves the movie well. More important, however, is the relationship between the two brothers. The big, strong, handsome hero having to be saved by his scrawny sibling is what the story hinges on. It gets lots of mileage out of their differences. The relationship between Gary and his son Kip (Heit) is also given ample time. Our focus here is on the boy’s image of his dad as compared to how he feels about his uncle. Combined with the sibling rivalry we witness, this becomes a nice little commentary on hero worship and who our idols should really be.

In addition to watching those relationships play out we are treated to some sight gags, pop culture references and other jokes that mostly lean ever-so-slightly further on the intellectual side of things than many kiddie flicks. We also get some lively visuals and solid action sequences. There are also a number of recognizable voices who all handle their roles well. One drawback is that the plot plays out without much surprise, even for the little ones. Another, and bigger one is that it doesn’t quite connect on an emotional level the way it seems to want. Therefore, this is a perfectly acceptable movie aimed at kids that is fun to watch, but doesn’t really stand out from the crowd.

MY SCORE: 6/10

Warm Bodies

Directed by JonathanLevine.

2013. Rated PG-13, 98 minutes.

Cast:

Nicholas Hoult

Teresa Palmer

Rob Corddry

John Malkovich

Dave Franco

Analeigh Tipton

Cory Hardrict

The zombie apocalypse has already happened. R (Hoult) doesn't remember quite how. All he knows is that he’s been a corpse as long as he can recall and that he thinks his name started with the letter ‘r’. He’s a bit different than most of his kind. He’s fully aware of what he is, and what’s going on around him, evidenced by the running dialogue in his head that serves as our narration, even though he has the physical limitations of other corpses. He groans, stares, occasionally utters a word or two, and generally walks pretty slow. And yes, he eats people, particularly their brains. While out on a food run, he meets human girl Julie (Palmer) and instantly falls in love. The feeling is made stronger by the fact he’s just eaten her boyfriend’s brain which gives R the lad’s memories. Naturally, many of these include Julie. Against his better judgment, he saves her life and takes her back to the airport where he and lots of other corpses wander around all day. Romance budding against the backdrop of the war between the living and the undead ensues.

Warm Bodies manages to successfully subvert zombie lore while simultaneously embracing it. For one, the zombies themselves aren't completely mindless. They’re not anywhere near as lucid as R, but there is a thought process taking place, albeit slowly, but it’s there. Helping this not feel like a slap in the face of George A. Romero is the inclusion of the Boneys. They are the walking skeletons we’re told every corpse becomes, sooner or later. When this happens, they will truly be devoid of any thoughts other than how to get their next meal. It’s a classic case of using an even more despicable villain in order to make a questionable protagonist seem like a good guy. Combined with R’s oh-so-normal late teen/early twenty-something male sensibilities and confliction over his state of being, it works wonders.

Since I mentioned genre god George A. Romero, I’d be remiss if I didn't also note that zombie films are historically the most thinly veiled metaphors for what’s going on in current society. Whether intentional or not, this one provides a commentary on how the ceaselessly increasing presence of social media is eroding our face-to-face social skills. At least I read it that way. The final scene of the movie seems to echo that sentiment and make a plea to us in the audience.

Symbolism aside, our enjoyment of WB is enhanced by the way our romance is written. R comes across as a socially awkward, but really trying young man. His efforts to impress Julie are similar to what many a boy has done, and will do, to win over a girl. This makes him likable. More importantly, we understand why Julie likes him. This is in stark contrast to one of the biggest problems plaguing the recently concluded Twilight series. In that, Edward Cullen is so brooding and anti-social he seems on the verge of becoming an abusive partner. After all, the gift he keeps promising Bella is death. Bella is so constantly depressed she appears to be looking for someone to commiserate with. Her fascination with Edward plays like an unhealthy obsession, a true fatal attraction. That’s not the case in Warm Bodies. Here, we have two people in an extraordinary situation, but neither appears to be looking for a way out of life. Contrarily, Julie wants nothing more than to keep living. R’s biggest desire is to feel alive. Despite the prevalence of death in their society, in many guises, Julie is vibrant and R aspires to be.

In the ever-expanding ocean of Romeo and Juliet inspired romances, this has to be among the most unique. Our Romeo is a pale, dead-eyed thing with real issues expressing his feelings, yet we understand him just the same. However, a well done love story is not the only thing propelling this movie. It’s also a tasty slice of dark humor. The jokes themselves aren't often morbid, but enhanced by the morbidity of the situation. Corpses trying to communicate elicits enough laughter on its own. There are also R’s thoughts. Through all of this, WB congeals into a potent mix of comedy and carnage. Add the fact that our tale is, literally for some characters, a heart-warming one, and we get a zombie flick that appeals to fans of the genre and to those who don’t necessarily go for that sort of thing.

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Directed by Lorene Scafaria.

2012. Rated PG-13, 101 minutes.

Cast:

Steve Carell

Keira Knightley

Martin Sheen

Connie Britton

Rob Corddry

Patton Oswalt

Derek Luke

T.J. Miller

Melanie Lynskey

Mark Moses

Nancy Carell

What would you do if you knew for certain the world were going to end in three weeks? That’s the question facing us all in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World as a seventy mile wide asteroid is on a collision course with Earth and all attempts to stop it have failed. More specifically, it’s the question facing Dodge (Carrell). It’s also become exponentially more difficult to answer now that his wife has decided this would be the perfect time to leave him. Everyone around him is truly living each day like it’s the last, engaging in whatever activity their hearts desire while Dodge sits around and mopes. He finds someone to commiserate with in the flighty Penny (Knightley). She’s similarly distraught, having broken up with her boyfriend. Eventually, the two decide to help each other do the one thing they each must before it’s too late. An apocalyptic adventure ensues.

Early on, the movie focuses as much on our decaying societal mores as it does on the lives of our protagonists. Here is where most of its humor lies. The jokes are largely to be expected, generally revolving around people getting all the sex and drugs they could possibly want, but still fun to see play out. There are only two other jokes: the occasional ominous yet loony newscast and the situations Dodge and Penny find themselves in because of the outbreak of riots. The violence, and any humor derived from it, ends when a very odd man takes a bullet to the throat. You’ll have to see for yourself to understand how and why this could possibly be funny. A short while later, the sex and drugs part of the movie climaxes with a trip to a chain restaurant. Unfortunately, we still have half the movie to go.

Immediately upon finishing the very strange dining experience of our heroes, the movie settles into a string of predictable events in an effort to create a romance. Problem number one, again, is that the comedy disappears almost entirely. Instead, we’re stuck in this drama which never surprises us and will have to either deliver the depressing finale we've been trudging toward or, concoct some ridiculous BS for the sake of giving us a happy ending. Problem number two is that we never feel strongly enough about the couple in question to overcome problem number one. Dodge and Penny aren't two people we can see together under any circumstances. Making an exception because people are bound to do things and be with people they normally would not even consider. However, this just makes things seem even more preordained. This, combined with the fact that everything happens so perfectly on schedule, our pulse rate never increases. Our performers give it their all, but their interactions lack the magic needed to make us ignore these blemishes.

All is not terrible for the second half of the film. First, there is a wonderful scene, albeit a bit of a painful one, between Dodge and his dad played by Martin Sheen. It’s the one time we truly sense the emotion of the two people speaking. Second, the final scene is one of endless tenderness. It is by far the most enjoyable exchange between Dodge and Penny. If somehow, you find yourself caring by this point, you might even have to wipe away a tear or two. Odds are, you won’t.

Hot Tub Time Machine

Directed by Steve Pink.
2010. Rated R, 92 minutes.
Cast:
John Cusack
Clark Duke
Craig Robinson
Rob Corddry
Sebastian Stan
Lyndsy Fonseca
Crispin Glover
Chevy Chase
Lizzy Caplan
Collette Wolfe

Plot: Four down-on-their-luck friends decide to spend a weekend at the resort they used to hang out at during their glory days. After a wild night in their suite’s hot tub, they wake up in 1986.

The Good: It’s better than it has any right to be. Sure, it’s juvenile and crass but it does both so well. Watching our heroes try to replicate what happened the first time they lived through ’86 is fun. The running gag involving Crispin Glover is priceless. Most of the references to the 1980s work well. The dynamic between Lou (Corddry) and the rest of the group really carries the movie effectively.

The Bad: I did say it was juvenile and crass. However, its worse crimes are being predictable and rushing its ending. We know what’s going to happen, thanks in large part to one of the bigger storylines being a rip-off of Back to the Future, but it doesn’t work up to it. Instead, it meanders along with the various situations that have popped up and then suddenly and haphazardly sticks in, pardon the pun, a key component in shaping the outcome.

The Ugly: What’s the deal with the drunk guy in the bear suit?

Recommendation: It’s strictly a guy thing. ‘Nuff said.

The Opposite View: Mark Keizer, Boxoffice Magazine

What the Internet Says: 6.9/10 on imdb.com (7/7/10), 63% on rottentomatoes.com, 63/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: 6.5/10