Frozen

Directed by Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee.

2013. Rated PG, 108 minutes.

Cast:

Kristen Bell

Idina Menzel

Jonathan Groff

Josh Gad

Santino Fontana

Alan Tudyk

Ciaran Hinds

Chris Williams

Once upon a time in the magical land of Arendelle, there lived a princess named Elsa (Menzel). She possessed the power to create snow and ice at will. While using her powers during playtime she accidentally hurts her younger sister Anna (Bell). Knowing that she would be feared as an evil-doing witch, Elsa hid her powers by isolating herself from Anna and the outside world. However, during her coronation things get out of hand and Elsa's power is exposed. She transforms the bright, sunny day into a frigid winter night. She flees the castle in hopes of starting over all alone. Anna follows in hopes of bringing her back and ending the bitter cold her sister created. However, when Elsa's powers accidentally hurt Anna again only an act of true love can save the younger princess.

Sound familiar?

Of course, it does. It's a Disney movie about a princess, or a pair of princesses, in this case. The movie floats along the oh-so-familiar path of doing what fairy tales do. Along the way, it pauses to give us some heartwarming musical numbers that help the two young ladies explain their feelings to the audience. This includes the Oscar winning "Let it Go." Yawn. And I'm sorry, but Pharrell's "Happy" is the far better song. Screw you, Academy.

Does it sound like I'm hating on this movie?

Maybe I am. Call it a knee-jerk reaction to all the unwarranted love thrown this film's way. It's treated as if the movie's creators invented the wheel when they unleashed this thing on an unsuspecting world. This, it hardly does.

To be fair, Frozen does do something somewhat original. Though it does spend a fair amount of time dealing with a pair of Prince Charmings, it's real focus is on sisterhood. This is admirable, especially given the way most princesses are merely damsels in distress. This little bit of empowerment is welcome. Also welcome is this movie's subtle deconstruction of the notion that true love can be found instantly. Nice touch.

As far as some other things go, all the wintry landscapes make for a gorgeous movie to look at. The voice work is adequate, not spectacular. Kristen Bell fares best, being her usual plucky self. Idina Menzel is okay and shines during her one big moment, singing that song. As a whole, the music doesn't seem particularly inspired, but that could just be either the cynic or the contrarian in me talking. Our two Prince Charmings did exactly what I expected them to do and were completely bland about it. And the talking snowman generally annoyed me.

Despite all I've said, I don't think this is a terrible movie. I just don't believe that should've been gushed over by anyone over twelve. Even the bonding that occurs between females was better done just a year earlier in Brave, with a far more inventive story. Though, this one does open itself up a bit more to pro-lesbian interpretation, with Elsa hiding her true nature and later "coming out." That would be cool, to me at least, but not nearly enough to make me think this is some great cinematic achievement. Frozen is cute, even enjoyable, but not special.

MY SCORE: 6.5/10

John Carter

Directed by Andrew Stanton.

2012. Rated PG-13, 132 minutes.

Cast:

Taylor Kitsch

Lynn Collins

Mark Strong

Samantha Morton

Willem Dafoe

Thomas Haden Church

Ciarán Hinds

Dominic West

James Purefoy

Bryan Cranston

Polly Walker

Daryl Sabara

Civil War vet John Carter (Kitsch) spends all of his time searching for a fabled cave full of gold. The Confederate Army wants to press him back into service. They capture John, he runs away, they give chase and start a little skirmish with some Native Americans who happen to be in the way. Our hero runs some more and practically falls into the cave he seeks. The only problem is there’s a strange looking dude already there. He and John get into it and bada-boom, bada-bing, John winds up on Mars, here called Barsoom, trying to save the planet from a budding tyrant who is getting some special help. Why yes, there is a pretty girl involved. Her name is Dejah Thoris (Collins). She’s a princess being forced by her father to marry the bad guy as a means of potentially saving their empire. You see, the king doesn’t watch movies and doesn’t know that these sorts of arrangements never work out the way you’d like. Oh, one other thing, while on Mars John can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Almost.

Almost is a good word to describe the movie as a whole. By almost, I mean it’s almost good. Visually, it is quite the treat. Narratively, it is not. Once our hero gets to Mars we get eyefuls of interesting creatures and scenes of swashbuckling that feel simultaneously futuristic and primitive. The action comes often enough, usually in the form of chase scenes, highlighting the things John Carter does well. It’s between those scenes where the issues lie.

The story itself suffers from over-familiarity. It’s strictly paint-by-numbers with no deviation from the beaten path. From the moment John reaches Mars his next step always feels pre-ordained. In short, we’ve seen this many times before. You know the drill: escape here, decide to help the natives there, realize you’re in love with the princess here, and so on. In fact, it too closely follows the template set by Avatar, sans the “go green” agenda. That movie has many of the same flaws (awful dialogue, forced love story, bloated length, etc) but is even more of a spectacle. Try as it might, JC never achieves the grandeur of Avatar making its flaws even more of factor.

For a light-hearted, kiddie-fied action flick JC isn’t really a terrible choice. It’s fairly fun and the two hours go by pretty quickly. It is likely to be a forgettable crowd pleaser. Sitting through it is pleasant enough. However, by time the credits roll, you’d be hard-pressed to differentiate it from any other movie where a stranger in strange land does what such heroes do.

MY SCORE: 5.5/10

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor.

2012. Rate PG-13, 95 minutes.

Cast:

Nicolas Cage

Violante Placido

Idris Elba

Ciarán Hinds

Johnny Whitworth

Fergus Riordan

Christopher Lambert

Anthony Head

Like a lot of single moms, Nadya (Placido) is having major trouble with her baby daddy. Unlike those other women, despite whatever they say, her baby daddy really is the Devil, or Roarke (Hinds), as he likes to be called. He suddenly wants custody of their son Danny (Riordan), but doesn’t trust the courts will support him (my speculation). He sends the mercenary Carrigan (Whitworth) and his goons after her. French wino priest Moreau (Elba) heard how it’s going down and wants to help out. Unsure whether the grubby looking clergyman is really a good guy, she shoots at him and the actual bad guys alike. This leads to the coolest looking scene in the movie about two minutes in. Figuring he’s in over his head, Moreau then enlists the help of Johnny Blaze AKA the Ghost Rider (Cage) to bring mom and the boy safely back to the local monastery. Blaze only agrees because the priest promises that once the task is done, he’ll rid him of the curse of the Rider.

The first Ghost Rider movie is definitely an “also ran” in the comic book flick genre. It was panned by critics and audiences were lukewarm to it. Even its biggest supporters were merely saying “It’s not that bad.” Still, it made enough money that someone felt a sequel was warranted. So here we are watching Nicolas Cage go Nicolas Cage, while wearing a bunch of leather, in yet another bad movie. How many awful films has he starred in? I suppose I can’t really blame him since the checks keep clearing. I’m so jealous. Oh well. At least the title character looks really cool with a skull and motorcycle engulfed in flames, so there’s that.

“That” is pretty much all there is. The Rider and just about everything he does looks great. He’s got fire and chains whirling about. He’s absorbing gunshots and spitting back flaming bullets. There’s all sorts of stunts with the bike and other machinery. The same could be said of Carrigan once he gets "the power of decay." Watching things fall apart in his hands is just awesome. By the way, one thing that doesn’t fall apart provides us with the only moment in the film that’s actually funny on purpose.

Unfortunately, everything else is horribly botched. Cage’s performance is bizarre. The super shaky cam, sped up film and quick cutting employed during his most over the top moments provide a number of unintentionally hilarious happenings. Whitworth, as Carrigan, chews scenery in a similar fashion. Mom is bland, the kid is annoying and Ciarán Hinds looks like a bored devil. Only Idris Elba shines, but he might have been downing real wine to make himself forget he actually signed up for this.

Spirit of Vengeance delivers precisely what the first one did: a fancy looking mess. The action scenes are silly, but fun. The rest of it is silly in a bad way, a very bad way. It is paced pretty briskly so it passes quickly. Thank goodness. The kids will like it so it’s got some use as a popcorn flick. However, this isn’t that fresh, piping hot and buttery popcorn we go crazy for. This is that slightly burned, a second from being stale poporn we eat because it happens to be sitting on the table in front of us.

MY SCORE: 4.5/10

The Woman in Black

Directed by James Watkins.

2012. Rated PG-13, 94 minutes.

Cast:

Daniel Radcliffe

Sophie Stuckey

Ciarán Hinds

Jessica Raine

Roger Allam

Shaun Dooley

Mary Stockley

After one of his clients dies, it’s up to Harry Potter, um, I mean Arthur Kipps (Radcliffe) to make sure her affairs are in order. To do so he has to spend some time in her house. Of course, this is a dark secluded mansion no one town wants to go anywhere near. Rumor has it there’s a ghost, or ghosts, hanging around the place. It doesn’t help that the local children suffer violent, fatal and mysterious accidents at an alarming rate. Kinda kills the area tourism industry, you know? Anyhoo, this is all leading to our hero spending a night alone in the spooky abode. Yup, he sees stuff. You’re probably wondering where that title comes from. It seems whenever one of the local rugrats manages to get dead someone sees a woman in a black dress close by.

Our saga unfolds in the most uninteresting way possible. Things clunk along as Arthur receives ominous warnings and then is blamed for stirring things up as the kids keep dying. His one ally is Daily (Hinds), the one guy native to the town who is skeptical of the existence of ghosts. He provides the movie’s liveliest moments. Everyone else just trudges through the picture trying to look scared and/or scary, often failing on both fronts. Our leading man, Mr. Radcliffe, isn’t compelling enough to sufficiently draw us in, at least not here.

The alleged scares are pretty standard ghost story fare. Arthur sees things, gets spooked, takes off running, sees more things, runs some more until he “unexpectedly” runs into a real person. The apparitions he sees come off as innocuous because we know right from the get-go they’re only going after children. Therefore, our hero never seems to be in any real danger. Besides, any tension these scenes might generation is killed by the film’s leisurely pacing. A tale taking its time can be a good thing. That’s not the case here. This is like being stuck behind grandma doing 45 on the highway and no way for you to get around her. It makes the hour-and-a-half runtime feel more like a day and a half.

Thankfully, two scenes manage to drag the movie out of its self-imposed stagnation. Both are rather late in the proceedings, perking us up a bit if we’re still paying attention. One involves a mud pit our guy has to climb into and the other is the final scene. These keep The Woman in Black from becoming a complete travesty. They don’t save the film, but they’re at least interesting.

When it is all said and done, we’ve sat through a sub-standard ghost story with hardly any twists or turns in its narrative. Its visuals aren’t frightening enough to overcome its flaws. For the most part, we aren’t even afforded the cheap thrill of jump scares. Judging by the generally positive response this movie has gotten, I’m probably jaded. I just don’t get it. For me, TWiB is yet another PG-13 horror-less flick.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

Directed by Tomas Alfredson.

2011. Rated R, 127 minutes.
Cast:
Gary Oldman
Colin Firth
Tom Hardy

Mark Strong
Benedict Cumberbatch
Toby Jones
John Hurt
David Dencik
Ciarán Hinds
Kathy Burke

In October of 1973, a British Intelligence operation goes terribly wrong and one of its operatives, Jim Prideaux (Strong), is shot and captured. In the aftermath, George Smiley (Oldman) is among the people forced into retirement. At about the same time, a few others are promoted to prominent postions due to them getting their hands on some high grade Soviet intelligence. Fast forward a bit and Smiley is dragged out of retirement to perform a sensitive investigation. It is suspected that one of the men who have risen through the ranks is actually a mole. This is a remake of the 1979 film which starred Alec Guinness.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is indeed a spy movie through and through. However, it’s concerned with the drama of real people who are spies, not the stereotypical action heroes we’ve come to believe them all to be. The effort is placed on trying to figure out where the secret rooms are, who’s meeting there and what they’re saying, not in trying to dazzle us with our hero’s death defying feats. To this end, it sets a deliberate pace that will admittedly feel slow to some. For others, it will leisurely suck us in as we come to understand there is nothing leisurely about the situation at hand. We’ll grow more fascinated as the twists and turns mount. We may even feel we need a tour guide to help navigate the course.

This is where Gary Oldman comes in. Basically, he holds our hand through the maze. He doesn’t have all the answers but he’s darned good at looking for them. Since he is holding our hand, we can’t help but get to know him. What sticks with us most is how unhappy he seems. True, he makes Smiley a stoic chap, but that just seems to be how the man operates in his professional life. Beyond that, there is a deeper sadness to him. Obviously, part of it is because he was unceremoniously dumped when stuff hit the fan. There’s more to it than that due to some other things we find out over the course of our time with him. Even when he should be happy, he appears unsure that it’s alright to feel that way. Oldman conveys all of this perfectly in one of his most subtle portrayals.

All of the things that make TTSS wonderful can work against it, as well. As mentioned, it can drag at times. During this time, it’s possible to get a little lost. As great as the acting is there really isn’t much character development. The situation develops, the people do not. Finally, part of its charm is that it’s a period piece. Since the Cold War has been over for quite some time now, it can feel dated. Certainly, there is some relevance to today’s world but it may not be so easy to pick up. In the end, it’s an excellent spy flick that isn’t for everyone.

MY SCORE: 8/10