Spider-Man: Homecoming (sorta)

31 Days of Horror: Beetlejuice

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Minions

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

Robocop (2014)

Directed by Jose Padilha.

2014. Rated PG-13, 117 minutes.

Cast:

Joel Kinnaman

Gary Oldman

Michael Keaton

Samuel L. Jackson

Abbie Cornish

Jackie Earle Haley

Michael K. Williams

Jennifer Ehle

Jay Baruchel

Marianne Jean-Baptiste

Aimee Garcia

Around the world, American company OmniCorp employs robots of various sizes to take the place of actual U.S. soldiers, thus saving the lives of many American men and women. However, the practice is banned here in the states. Despite deep pockets and powerful lobbyists, the company can't persuade the powers that be to lift the ban. CEO Raymond Sellars (Keaton) believes the key to getting it overturned is by actually putting a man inside one of his machines. This is where Detroit detective Alex Murphy (Kinnaman) comes in. Alex and his partner Jack (Williams) are working undercover on a big case. When things go south, Jack winds up in the hospital after having been shot. Since the bad guys want to finish the job, they soon come after Alex, by blowing up his car with him right next to it. Without some form of life support, he will die. However, he is deemed to be the perfect candidate by head doctor Dennett Norton (Oldman) and is soon given his very own technologically advanced suit of armor that doubles as his body and becomes Robocop. Trying to get him just right before sending him out on the streets ensues. In case you've somehow never heard of it, this is a remake of the 1987. original.

Right off the bat, there is a major problem with this movie. That problem is Alex Murphy. What it is about him that makes him the perfect candidate for such a daring experiment is never sufficiently explained. We're never shown, either. What we do see makes him more likely to go on the reject pile. He's hot-headed, impulsive, reckless, and has a problem with authority. On top of that, he's not the most likable guy. All of these are things that should disqualify him from such a program. Matters aren't helped by the fact that even though we know there must be something more to him, we're never really given the chance to find out what that is. He is basically the same hard-boiled cop we've seen in hundreds of movies that barks at everyone and is going to do things his way and then suddenly he's Robocop. That type of character works in a movie where the hero following his instincts serves him right while it becomes obvious that following protocol would work to his detriment. It doesn't work when the movie depicts a big corporation looking for someone to walk the company line and present a good face to the public. It's something that keeps us from becoming invested in the character.

Once our hero is in the suit, Robocop takes its cue from comic book origin movies, and spends lots of time on the training of our hero. We get lengthy scenes of conversations about what should be done with him followed by us witnessing the implication of whatever strategies Sellars and Norton come up with. At least the latter usually shows some type of showdown between Robocop and Rick Mattox (Haley), the guy that works with all the machines. Eventually, we get to the actual police work part of the movie. When we do, it rather quickly becomes a revenge flick as our hero is simply out to get the people responsible for his condition. The action showing this is mostly fun, and exciting stuff. Unfortunately, because of what has or hasn't transpired to this point, it is lacking any sort of heart. All we've done is connect the dots that we're supposed to in this sort of film. It simply goes 'life changing event, training, loud stuff, end.' We see it, but never care about it. Action junkies won't dismiss it, but even they aren't likely to embrace it, either. It simply becomes stuff happening on the screen while time passes.

Those of us who have seen the original, of course, get a double whammy. Not only is what we're seeing not all that compelling, but it removes the elements that made the original work. We first have to revisit the portrayal of the protagonist. The Alex Murphy played by Peter Weller in '87 is a genuinely likable guy. We see how important his family is to him. We also know that he not only wants to do the right thing, but to accomplish it the right way. This new version also wants to do what is right, however, it's clear he's willing to cut corners to do it. Once he's in the suit, it's made worse by the handling of the functionality of his artificial parts verses his natural ones. Namely, we're talking about how his psyche is handled. The original understood that for him to be at all believable the parts of him that made him distinctly human must remain intact. This is what creates the conflict between himself and the machine he's trapped in. The remake pays lip service to that idea, explicitly stating that what makes a person a person is their brain, not the parts surrounding it. Then, a few minutes later, when that brain is causing a problem it's simply shut off. How much of his own thought process is in play can literally be controlled by the turning of a dial. It's an artificial, not to mention arbitrary, obstacle that didn't need to be there. The idea of a man merged with a machine is already hard to swallow, but something we can buy into. Being able to just shut off the human side, especially without sufficient buildup to this, is not. It's an added layer of silliness that detracts from the movie rather than adding to it.

The other big differences between this and its predecessor are the tone and the visuals. In the original, these two things work in concert to create a hyper-violent dark comedy. Tonally, it is mostly tongue-in-cheek and takes aim at our insatiable consumerism, among other things. From that end of it, we get a razor sharp satire. From the visual end, we get a fairly gory movie. To keep from going into a lengthy description of it, let's just say it makes you familiar with the term splatter. The remake goes in the opposite direction. As far as satire goes, this version will have none of it. It takes itself overly serious and just trudges forward. If there is any attempt at it, it's wrapped in the scenes featuring Samuel L. Jackson as Pat Novak, a political talk show host. Essentially, he's a shill for OmniCorp. The situation is ripe for examining corporate influence on both the media and the government. However, the opportunity passes unexamined. In the violence department, the amount is reduced quite a bit and what we do get is sanitized to fit into its PG-13 box. So, while that part of it is fun in the way lots of action scenes are, it's not a visceral experience. Nothing about it makes us sit up and say 'wow.'

That lack of a wow factor is the biggest problem with this movie. Even if you're not at all familiar with the original, it just doesn't have much pizazz. For those of you in that category, it'll probably be a passable action flick, nothing more. Instead of standing out from the crowd, it fits snugly within it. The all-star cast can only help so much because they are all working in service of an unmemorable hero. The best thing about him is the design of his suit. Compared to the old one, it's sleeker and sexier, even if it inexplicably (and weirdly) includes Murphy's actual right hand. For those of us that have seen the original, the suit is the only thing this movie does better. Most things, the old one does better by a large margin. That was an inventive and gutsy movie. The 2014 version of Robocop is a re-imagining without much imagination.

Pointless List: Best Batmobile

Yesterday, I took a look at the guys in the suits, but what about those cool cars? I'll just let the pictures stand on their own. These are my five favorites...

5. The Dark Knight Returns' Tank, 2012

4. George Clooney's Batmobile, 1997

3. The Adam West Batmobile, 1966

2. The Tumbler, The Dark Knight Trilogy

1. Michael Keaton's Batmobile, 1989

Pointless List: Best Batman

Through the years, a lot of men have donned the cape and cowl with varying degrees of success. Since I'm one of those insane people who groan loudly whenever the next Batman is announced, no matter who he is, it should come as no surprise that none of these guys earned my praise easily. Ben Affleck, ugh!!! That said, here are the guys who I think did it best...

5. Bruce Greenwood

(Batman: Under the Red Hood)

4. Michael Keaton

(Batman, Batman Returns)

3. Adam West

(Batman: The Movie)

2. Kevin Conroy

(Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman, Batman: Gotham Knight)

1. Christian Bale

(The Dark Knight Trilogy)

Ranking the Batman Movies: #2

2. Batman

(1989)

Directed by Tim Burton

Batman…Michael Keaton

James Gordon…Pat Hingle 

Alfred…Michael Gough 

Vicki Vale…Kim Basinger 

Alexander Knox…Robert Wuhl 

Harvey Dent…Billy Dee Williams 

The Joker…Jack Nicholson 

Carl Grissom…Jack Palance 

Believe it or not, the prevailing thought in Hollywood was once that comic book movies don’t work. Sure, there were the Superman movies but they were the exceptions. Anything not involving the man of steel flopped at the box office. Worse yet, any studios interested in making a Batman movie wanted to make it along the lines of the 1966 movie. Eventually, in the early 80s it was agreed upon that The Caped Crusader deserved a big screen treatment more in line with the way the character was initially conceived by Bob Kane way back in 1939. By the end of the decade, director Tim Burton brought it all to life. Heading into theaters we were skeptical of noted comic actor Michael Keaton getting the lead role. Thankfully, he nailed it. However, as seems often to be the case, The Joker is really the star of the show. It’s pretty obvious he would be since he’s played by the world’s greatest Lakers’ fan, Jack Nicholson. The old pro gives us a Joker that’s part Cesar Romero and part Jack Torrance (his character in The Shining). Batman himself was appropriately humorless, as was the overall tone whenever Joker wasn’t on-screen. The most enduring part of this movie’s legacy is that it forever changed the way studios, critics and the public viewed comic book movies. Not only was it an event before it ever hit theaters, it lived up to the hype earned massive amounts of money and was generally praised by critics. The fact that superhero movies dominate the theaters every summer can be traced back to this film. By the way, it’s also given us what I consider to be the coolest Batmobile (if a bit impractically designed) and the best soundtrack (courtesy of Prince).

Ranking the Batman Movies: #9

9. Batman Returns

(1992)

Directed by Tim Burton

Batman…Michael Keaton

James Gordon…Pat Hingle

Alfred…Michael Gough

Catwoman…Michelle Pfeiffer

The Penguin…Danny DeVito

Max Shreck…Christopher Walken

Of all the live-action Batman films, this is definitely the strangest. Even though he directed both movies, Batman Returns is much more a part of Tim Burton’s world than 1989’s Batman. Gotham and its inhabitants become truly gothic. Perhaps our first hint is the name of Christopher Walken’s character, Max Shreck. For those not in the know, the real Max Shreck is a horror icon for having played Count Orlock in the classic Nosferatu. Catwoman, as played by Michelle Pfeiffer is a writhing mass of fetishized femininity. She put so much into the role that for me, it’s easily the quintessential portrayal of the character. If she’s the stuff our slightly off-kilter fantasies then Danny DeVito’s take on The Penguin is something that’s escaped from our nightmares. Everything about him is delightfully disgusting, if that’s possible. By the way, the plot basically involves him trying to get elected mayor of Gotham while working with Catwoman to get rid of The Caped Crusader. There was a fallout to such a bizarre approach to what was supposed to be a mainstream franchise. Batman merchandise took a hit as McDonald's actually dropped all merchandise related to the movie from their Happy Meals. A number of parents were up in arms over the film. Of course, there was also that whole ‘let’s get Joel Schumacher in here’ thing after all that stuff happened.

The Other Guys

Directed by Adam McKay.
2010. Rated PG-13, 107 minutes.
Cast:
Will Ferrell
Mark Wahlberg
Eva Mendes
Steve Coogan
Michael Keaton
Damon Wayans Jr
Rob Riggle
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Samuel L. Jackson
Natalie Zea

After the death of the city’s two most heroic cops, Det. Hoitz (Wahlberg) decides it’s time for he and his partner Det. Gamble (Ferrell) to step up and fill the void. The problem is heroism doesn’t come easy for these gents. Hoitz is a hothead, itching to get into some real action while Gamble’s name is pure irony since he’s perfectly content to sit at his desk all day, every day.

The vast majority of people reading this will either love this movie or hate it to no end. In other words, it’s a Will Ferrell comedy. Over the top stupidity is the default mode of humor. Occasionally, something slyly intelligent sneaks onto the screen. If you’re already laughing at the stupid stuff, you’ll howl when something smart happens. If you’re not already laughing, these will be the few occasions you’ll chuckle, just a bit.

Ferrell returns to the familiarity of his best known characters. He’s well meaning and high-spirited, but also a bit neurotic and certainly naïve. Of course, in every buddy cop flick, the buddies have to be polar opposites. Therefore, Wahlberg plays Hoitz as high strung, ready to jump into the fray, but still generally down on himself for some mistakes he’s made. Their contrasting personalities is just the first of the action flick clichés put through the ringer. There are many to be skewered and The Other Guys tries to hit as many of them as possible. My favorite being Gamble’s rant on people coolly strolling away from explosions in the movies.

Knowing that this movie is aware how dumb it is may be the key to enjoying it. If you take it seriously, either as an action flick or a comedy, you’ll be severely disappointed. If taken as a riff on the action-comedy genre then you might have fun with it. Even so, I will grant that some jokes either go on too long or simply fall flat right away. While it’s not one of Ferrell’s best, it definitely has its moments. This movie succeeds in most areas where Kevin Smith’s Cop Out tries and fails miserably. TOG actually works in some areas.

There is one thing TOG takes seriously. Unfortunately, that one thing is product placement. The brand-name dropping and label shots reach distracting proportions. Perhaps worst of all, it often feels like a really long commercial for the Toyota Prius. Everyone in the movie cracks jokes about it, but when push comes to shove, she performs like a champ. I’m still not even thinking about buying one, so there.

In the end, this is a take it or leave it sort of picture. It’s exceedingly dumb, but in enough of the right spots. If you’re a glass half full type and think dumb can work, take it. If you think that dumb is just dumb and should be ignored, leave it. Better yet, how much do you like Will Ferrell?

MY SCORE: 6.5/10

Toy Story 3

Directed by Lee Unkrich.
2010. Rated PG, 103 minutes.
Cast:
Tom Hanks
Tim Allen
Joan Cusack
Ned Beatty
Don Rickles
Estelle Harris
Jodi Benson
Michael Keaton
John Ratzenberger
Emily Hahn
John Morris

Now that Andy (Harris) is all grown up, Woody (Hanks), Buzz (Allen) and the rest of the gang try to come to grips with what their future may hold.

As expected, our heroes find themselves on another adventure. This time, their own self-worth and mortality may be in greater jeopardy than ever before. In keeping with franchise tradition, the world toys inhabit when humans aren't looking is a vibrant, fascinating place. The comedy works without feeling forced and the action sequences exude a palpable sense of danger. Particularly near the end, our dread and anticipation brings us to the edge of our seats.

Getting back to that comedy for a moment, the visuals and the back and forth between characters work hand in hand to make it go. Of course, Hanks and Allen continue to complement one another flawlessly. Barbie (Benson) and Ken (Keaton) have been added to the mix and their relationship provides some wonderful moments. There is also lots of mileage gotten by poking fun of Ken’s masculinity, or lack thereof.

What really brings it all home is Lotso (Beatty). His look, voice and backstory come together perfectly. Equally as perfect is the creepy, mostly silent Big Baby. His tattered mid-section and lazy eye look exactly like a doll my sister once had. That thing moving around on its own is just frightening. What’s so remarkable about that, is it just is where Chucky and other movie dolls had to try really hard to be.

Visually, without the aid of 3D (I saw it in 2D), it is still high quality Pixar, just not awe-inspiring. With an established template, there is only so much that can be done to the series without drastically altering the look we’ve come to expect and love. However, I will say humans seem to be better rendered, this time around.

Overall, this is a great way to extend, or end, the series. Unlike so many other sequels, it doesn’t fell like a money-grab, whether it is or not. It feels like the logical next chapter of a great book. With three outstanding entries, it firmly places itself among the best cinematic trilogies of all time. I would be hard pressed to keep it out of the top handful. Even better than that, there could logically be a TS4. Why yes, I’d be pumped for that, too.

MY SCORE: 10/10