Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Terrible Movie Summaries #4

It's time once again for Terrible Movie Summaries. This is where I give it my "best" shot at summarizing some your favorite, and not so favorite, movies in one sentence. As usual, good taste is not promised from this point forward.

Blue Ruin: Homeless man terrorizes a rural family.

Boogie Nights: Man exploited due to a medical anomaly turns to drugs.

Dallas Buyers Club: A homophobic businessman has exclusively gay clientele.

Delivery Man: Excessive masturbation causes complications.

Elysium: Domestic terrorists attack a government installation.

Enemy: Twins trick women into sex.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: A writer and a hacker harass a wealthy family.

Gone Girl: Couple navigates a rough patch in their marriage.

Lovelace: Uniquely talented woman discovers that stardom sucks.

Maleficent: Manic-depressive stalks her ex-boyfriend.

Pitch Perfect: College misfits try their hand at intramural sports.

Prometheus: Not quite ready for motherhood, a woman gives up her baby.

Robocop: Police officer struggles to use new equipment.

Stranger by the Lake: Local men discover sex can be a pain in the ass.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Orphans wage a gang war in the streets of New York.


  1. The premise for Delivery Man just makes me want to avoid it even more.

    1.'s not completely terrible...but you're not missing anything, either.

  2. Hah! These are great. Your description of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo cracks me up. And now I'm wondering WTF Delivery Men is all about.

    1. Thanks. You're hint for Delivery Man is that everyone in that pic w/Vince Vaughn is his child. Literally.

  3. OMG! The Delivery Man and Lovelace ones are effing priceless!!!!

  4. Gone Girl just made me choke on my cup of tea a little, that's friggin' hilarious!
    - Allie

  5. LOL Enemy, Promethus, and Boogie Nights are my favorites. And Gone Girl is a gigantic understatement. :P

    I love these.

    1. Thanks! You mean most marriages don't have a stretch like in Gone Girl? Who knew? ;)