The Quick and Dirties: 31 Days of Horror 2018 Grand Finale!

Halloween is finally here, marking the end of another 31 Days of Horror. Thanks to all who have hung out with me, even just once, during my annual trek down cinema's dark corridors. I'm going to wind things up with another Q & D post since I managed to watch more movies than I actually have time to write full-length reviews for. Let's get into it.

Tales from the Hood 2

(2018)

Most of us go into movies with certain expectations. Every now and again, those expectations are defied. Often, this is either really good, or really bad. Rarely, as is the case with 1995's Tales from the Hood, it's both. Part of it is on me because it's been 20 years or so since I've seen the original. I came into this expecting a full-on laugh riot of the so-bad-it's-awesome variety. That's not quite what I got. Like it's predecessor, this is an anthology with a number of different stories held together by one overarching tale. That story finds Mr. Simms (the forever under-appreciated Keith David), telling stories to the wealthy Trump stand-in Dumas Beach (Bill Martin Williams), who has built a law enforcing robot called the Robo Patriot. Beach says it can learn from stories like a human. Simms is their basically to tell stories confirming the notion that the Robo Patriot should focus its efforts on Blacks and other undesirables.The stories are pretty decent across the board, but with a pretty consistent problem. Even though it's making jokes, and occasionally the visuals are downright goofy, the tone is often dreadfully serious. The disconnect between those elements works against the movie, especially early on. As we go on, we settle into things and it smooths out. Each of these tales also takes a stab at some sort of social commentary, sometimes literally. It makes lots of valid points and takes plenty of shots at the current administration. With all this in mind, perhaps it should be expected that the best of the stories is the last of the vignettes, "The Sacrifice." It's also the heaviest, pulling no punches utilizing a number of prominent figures from the Civil Rights Era to pound home it's message. When the overarching story wraps up right after this, we're left with a film that's not as fun as you might've hoped, but pretty good once you decide to roll with it.

Leatherface

(2017)

In keeping with the fine tradition of the original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a young woman happens upon what she thinks is a wounded child, follows him home to a rundown barn and soon finds herself dead at the hands of the infamous Sawyer family, this time headed up by matriarch Verna (Lili Taylor). It so happens that the girl's father is local top dog Sheriff Hartman (Stephen Dorff). Naturally, he's pissed to the nth degree and, even though he can't prove foul play, takes the not-really-wounded child, Jedidiah into custody and ships him off to reform school. Fast forward a few years and little Jed goes by a different name as a darker, less funny version of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest breaks out. Then it becomes a prison break film. Finally, we get to seeing our hero put someone else's face on his. Notice my use of the word hero. The biggest problem this film has is that it's trying to take an unrepentant villain and make him the hero simply because a) his name is the title, and b) this is his origin story. It doesn't quite work because we know that his family is a bunch of homicidal maniacs and will successfully train him to be the same. Sure, it's possible the trick can be turned, but writer Seth M. Sherwood doesn't appear to be the right person for the job. His script, of course aided by directors Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo, is far more concerned with trying to throw us off the scent to keep us from guessing which kid is the eponymous Leatherface by setting up a giant red herring for us to focus on. The movie tries to inject some dark humor, mostly unsuccessfully and keeps things happening pretty rapidly. Another of this film's oddities is the perfomances of Lili Taylor and Stepen Dorff. They're a pretty thick cut above the rest of the cast, and can occasionally come off as acting in an entirely different picture. See this if you want to see some gore. Otherwise, skip it.

The Howling

(1981)

Karen White (Dee Wallace) is a TV news anchor who finds herself being stalked by a suspected serial killer. For some logic defying reason, she agrees to be the bait in a police sting to catch the guy. This means meeting him in a rundown porno theater. Gotta love the early 80s. This guy is about to start in on killing her when the fuzz comes through, shoots him dead, we have a pretty good idea he wasn't exactly human. Of course, she's traumatized to the point where she can't remember much of it except for disorienting and scary snippets that leap to mind from time to time, rendering her unable to work. Her therapist suggests she and her husband go off to a secluded resort he runs called "The Colony," because that's not at all shady. Anyhoo, we soon find out that most of the doc's other patients are werewolves. The first half of the movie is a bit of a chore as the setup seems to go on forever. That's not good considering the movie only runs 91 minutes. It's a lot of Karen acting frantic and other characters giving knowing looks to the camera. There is some nice self-awareness that likely inspired Kevin Williamson to write Scream. It goes over werewolf lore quite often, trying to delineate what's "real" from what's fake. In doing so, it directly references 1941's The Wolf Man numerous times. Though it doesn't have the pizazz of Williamson's writing, this is what keeps the first half watchable, that and another excellent horror turn by Dee Wallace. It's the third act nuttiness that earns this film it's rep as a sub-genre classic. Things get ramped up to levels that are just ridiculous. Still, it's at least a couple notches below the far superior An American Werewolf in London which was released the same year. The biggest reason I make that comparison, aside from them both being about werewolves, are the transformations. Both films show them, and American Werewolf's is rightfully considered one of, if not the best ever committed to film. This one tries hard, has some pretty good ones, but they're dwarfed in quality. Part of the reason for that is this film tried way too many of them for its own good. That said, they do add to the last act fun, making this a very solid into the werewolf cinematic cannon.

The Veil

(2016)

25 years ago, charismatic nutjob Jim Jacobs (Thomas Jane) ran a cult known as Heaven's Veil. As these things tend to pan out, especially in movies, he and his whole flock wound up dead by mass suicide. We're talking men, women, and children. The lone survivor was a little girl named Sarah (Lily Rabe). Fast-forward to the present day and Sarah is trying to live a normal life when she's contacted by a brother and sister team of documentarians, Maggie (Jessica Alba) and Christian (Jack DeSena). Yes, they want to film a doc investigation that fateful day and want Sarah's help. They have more than a passing interest in the case because their father was the FBI agent investigating Heaven's Veil. Shortly after the big event, he himself committed suicide. Anyhoo, the three of them, along with a small film crew return to the site where it all went down. Queue spooky stuff. It's a movie that has some gaping holes and switches back and forth between haunted house mode and slasher flick in not always seamless fashion. When the movie finds its groove in religious fanaticism it manages to outperform it's miniscule budget. The entire reason for this is Thomas Jane. Despite being billed beneath the likes of the mediocre Jessica Alba and three other actors, he completely owns this movie by chewing every piece of scenery anywhere near him like a young pup with his favorite toy. This is by no means a great movie, or even a good one but if you decide to give it a go, he'll make it worth your while.

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