The Wedding Ringer

Frozen

Directed by Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee.

2013. Rated PG, 108 minutes.

Cast:

Kristen Bell

Idina Menzel

Jonathan Groff

Josh Gad

Santino Fontana

Alan Tudyk

Ciaran Hinds

Chris Williams

Once upon a time in the magical land of Arendelle, there lived a princess named Elsa (Menzel). She possessed the power to create snow and ice at will. While using her powers during playtime she accidentally hurts her younger sister Anna (Bell). Knowing that she would be feared as an evil-doing witch, Elsa hid her powers by isolating herself from Anna and the outside world. However, during her coronation things get out of hand and Elsa's power is exposed. She transforms the bright, sunny day into a frigid winter night. She flees the castle in hopes of starting over all alone. Anna follows in hopes of bringing her back and ending the bitter cold her sister created. However, when Elsa's powers accidentally hurt Anna again only an act of true love can save the younger princess.

Sound familiar?

Of course, it does. It's a Disney movie about a princess, or a pair of princesses, in this case. The movie floats along the oh-so-familiar path of doing what fairy tales do. Along the way, it pauses to give us some heartwarming musical numbers that help the two young ladies explain their feelings to the audience. This includes the Oscar winning "Let it Go." Yawn. And I'm sorry, but Pharrell's "Happy" is the far better song. Screw you, Academy.

Does it sound like I'm hating on this movie?

Maybe I am. Call it a knee-jerk reaction to all the unwarranted love thrown this film's way. It's treated as if the movie's creators invented the wheel when they unleashed this thing on an unsuspecting world. This, it hardly does.

To be fair, Frozen does do something somewhat original. Though it does spend a fair amount of time dealing with a pair of Prince Charmings, it's real focus is on sisterhood. This is admirable, especially given the way most princesses are merely damsels in distress. This little bit of empowerment is welcome. Also welcome is this movie's subtle deconstruction of the notion that true love can be found instantly. Nice touch.

As far as some other things go, all the wintry landscapes make for a gorgeous movie to look at. The voice work is adequate, not spectacular. Kristen Bell fares best, being her usual plucky self. Idina Menzel is okay and shines during her one big moment, singing that song. As a whole, the music doesn't seem particularly inspired, but that could just be either the cynic or the contrarian in me talking. Our two Prince Charmings did exactly what I expected them to do and were completely bland about it. And the talking snowman generally annoyed me.

Despite all I've said, I don't think this is a terrible movie. I just don't believe that should've been gushed over by anyone over twelve. Even the bonding that occurs between females was better done just a year earlier in Brave, with a far more inventive story. Though, this one does open itself up a bit more to pro-lesbian interpretation, with Elsa hiding her true nature and later "coming out." That would be cool, to me at least, but not nearly enough to make me think this is some great cinematic achievement. Frozen is cute, even enjoyable, but not special.

MY SCORE: 6.5/10

Jobs

Directed by Joshua Michael Stern.

2013. Rated PG-13, 122 minutes.

Cast:

Ashton Kutcher

Dermot Mulroney

Josh Gad

Matthew Modine

Lukas Haas

Ron Eldard

J.K. Simmons

James Woods

Lesley Ann Warren

John Getz

It's fairly well known that way back in the 1970s, Steve Jobs (Kutcher) and a few of his buddies started Apple Computers in his parents' garage. They basically invented the home computer and became filthy rich. He was ousted in the mid 80s as the projects he was working on kept burning through money. Years later, he's brought back when the company is on the verge of going under. He then conquers all of Earth beginning with the introduction of the iPod in 2001 and rules until his death in 2011. This movie starts during Jobs' college years. Well, he is on campus and sits in on some classes, but it's never clear if he's actually an enrolled student. This is a couple years before starting the company. We wrap things up as he is brought back to rescue the floundering in Apple in the mid 90s.

The easiest thing to do is start with the elephant in the room, lead actor Ashton Kutcher. Plenty of people, myself included, rolled their eyes when it was announced he would play the iconic Jobs. After all, it can be argued that his best "work" was either on ABC's That 70's Show, MTV's Punk'd, or whatever he did to get Demi Moore to marry him. His movies range from "don't ever show me that again" up to a solid "meh." His performances in those movies are on the same scale. But hey, he's famous and bears a decent resemblance to our subject once you slap a beard on him, so here we are. The truth of the matter is that he's not that bad. He might actually be the best part of this film. He's never been an actor of any credible depth. Fortunately for him, but unfortunately for the rest of the movie, none is actually required. He is only asked to come off as mean, self-centered, and vindictive. Mission accomplished.

The relative shallowness of the iPod/Pad/Phone man is the movie's biggest detriment. At every stop along the way, he simply shouts down anyone who disagrees with him and either bullies them into doing things his way or sends them packing regardless of how integral they were to his success. Judging from this picture, Steve Jobs never actually made a friend. He just had people around who could realize his visions and treated them like interchangeable parts. Even when co-founder Steve Wozniak aka Woz (Gad) calls him on his boorish behavior, there isn't really an attempt at rectifying it. The scene is emotional in the moment because of who is saying it to him. However, that all dissipates rapidly because we see it has no real effect on him other than trying a slightly diplomatic approach to saving his own ass. This renders Jobs not a film about the man, but about giving life to his reputation around the office.

That Steve spends so much time in the office makes the omission, or more accurately the butchering of, his personal life a glaring error. Anything that happens outside of Apple just builds our hatred of him. Early on, he beds a co-ed then hops out of bed while telling her he's got to get back to his girlfriend. While Jobs is working at Atari Woz, who doesn't even work for the company, practically does an entire project for him, saving Steve's job (see that?) in the process. For said project, Steve is paid a $5,000 bonus. He tells Woz he only got $700 and gives him $350. Later, when the aforementioned girlfriend informs him she's pregnant, he just more or less says "Ain't mine," and tells her to kick rocks. We see him then refuse to see his daughter even though she sends cute little letters begging to be allowed to come visit him. We also see him arguing with his lawyer in an effort to find any way possible for him not to pay child support. The movie has a chance to make him look like a hero, here. I mean, the whole time we're thinking their tearful reunion scene with him accepting the full responsibility of fatherhood has gotta be coming, right? Wrong. Maybe it happens off screen. All we get is a shot of the girl lying on his couch like ten years after the lawyer scene. That's not to mention that he's suddenly married with another child by then. How any of this came to be is a complete mystery unless you're well-versed in the life and times of Steve Jobs. I am not. Admittedly, a trip to his Wikipedia page might clear some things up, but I shouldn't need to do that. Oh, and just in case you need more proof he was a dick, he ends the film by exacting some petty revenge.

What all of this adds up to is us being more apt to laugh at our hero when things don't go his way rather than showing even the least bit of sympathy. To us, he's just a bad person getting his comeuppance. The overwhelming feeling I got watching Jobs was the same one I got when I first hard they were making the movie. It's too soon. The whole thing feels rushed and half-baked. We're given a caricature of the man instead of a portrait. It's a shame because he's one of the most influential people of his generation, if not the entire twentieth century, and the still young twenty-first century, as well. It doesn't have to be a glowing fluff piece that bestows sainthood on the man, but he deserves more than a one-note portrayal of a rampaging monster who happens to have great ideas. We need the perspective of time. The people who know the stories that can round him out as a character need that perspective, too. In the interim, we were given "How an Asshole Made a Whole Lot of Money."

MY SCORE: 4/10