31 Days of Horror: Poltergeist (2015)

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

Directed by Peter Hedges.

2012. Rated PG, 105 minutes.

Cast:

Jennifer Garner

Joel Edgerton

Dianne West

CJ Adams

Rosemarie DeWitt

Ron Livingston

David Morse

Common

Cindy (Garner) and Jim Green (Edgerton) are a happily married couple with one major problem. For whatever reason, they will never produce a baby of their own. We meet them as they’re applying to become adoptive parents. When asked what qualifies them for parenthood, they relate the story of Timothy (Adams), their son. Confused? Okay, pay attention. The year before, the Green’s decided they were going to move and continue their lives without worrying about having children. To symbolize this, they bury their list of baby names in the backyard. When it rains that night, guess what grows like a planted seed? Only, instead of a newborn the Greens get Timothy, a ten year old boy with leaves attached to his legs. A crash course in parenting ensues.

Ask any parents, if you yourself are not one, and they will tell you that your first child teaches you how to be one. This happens as the child grows from birth. Imagine the confusion someone feels if they suddenly gained a ten year old after not having any kids at all. You may think you know what to do, but will quickly discover you don’t. Such is the case with the Greens. Things arise that they are totally unprepared for. We watch as they muddle through them. We also get to see Timothy grow as a person. Though undeniably awkward, he is a charming kid. Along with Jennifer Garner’s angst and Joel Edgerton’s flusteredness (?), Timothy pulls us through the movie.

The cynic in me wants to hate this movie so badly because of all it’s thorough Disneyness. Throughout the succession of obstacles placed before our microwave family, we’re given heartwarming, cute and heartwarmingly cute moments. Timothy repeatedly proves to be everything the Greens hoped for, in quite the literal sense. A number of these also have enough humor to keep things bouncing along merrily. And of course, our little hero changes the lives of everyone he comes into contact with. This is all so syrupy sweet I think it will force my lunce to reappear as soupy chunks on my lap, but it doesn’t. Somethow, The Odd Life of Timothy Green drives right up to the cliff of happiness where it threatens to fall into a hopelessly twee abyss. Alas, it manages to keep its balance. I keep all of my meals down plus the popcorn I’ve been gnawing on. Everybody wins.

The Watch

Directed by Akiva Schaffer.

2012. Rated R, 102 minutes.

Cast:

Ben Stiller

Vince Vaughn

Jonah Hill

Richard Ayoade

Rosemarie DeWitt

Will Forte

Mel Rodriguez

Doug Jones

Erin Moriarty

Nicholas Braun

R. Lee Ermey

Joe Nunez

Evan (Stiller) is the manager of the local Costco and the organizer guy in the town of Glenview, Ohio. He creates clubs and committees for everything. Naturally, after his buddy Antonio Guzman (Nunez), the after-hours security guard at said Costco, is murdered in the store, Evan organizes a neighborhood watch to find the killer. Only three people answer his call to duty: Bob (Vaughn), Franklin (Hill) and Jamarcus (Ayoade). They aren’t the most dedicated soldiers. However, as long as there are plenty of cold Budweisers around they’re happy. In any event, they get more than they bargained for when it becomes evident that hostile aliens are responsible for the killing. You’ll notice I've already mentioned two brand names. You will become well acquainted with them as well as Ray-O-Vac batteries and Magnum condoms. In other words, product placement and penis jokes ensue.

Strangely, between all the commercials flying at us exists a fun movie with a wacky premise. Ben Stiller plays himself, as always, so you already know if you think he’ll make you laugh. Vince Vaughn also does his normal schtick. However, he seems much more into it than he has in quite some time and is really pretty amusing. Less known Richard Ayoade also provides us with a few chuckles and the cameo by the great R. Lee Ermey is downright hilarious. Still, our heartiest laughs go to Jonah Hill. His character is not quite off type, but he approaches it from a different angle than normal. It works wonders. The four share a nice chemistry making the banter between them enjoyable.

Most surprising is there are a pair of well-executed human stories mixed in to all the advertisements and raunchy jokes. One involves the state of the relationship between Evan and his wife Abby played by Rosemarie DeWitt, here looking very Tina Fey-ish. The other is about Bob and his daughter, the rebellious Chelsea (Moriarty). Both work better than expected as if organic to the tale and not shoe-horned in just because. In fact, I enjoy these parts of movie more than the main plot.

That main plot, of course, heavily involves aliens. It’s rather lazy in almost all regards and seems ill-fitting of the movie they’re in. Though set up to play as a spoof of alien invasion flicks, the effort is only half-hearted. This includes creature design awfully similar to some rather famous cinematic extra-terrestrials. By the end, we realize their entire story line is just one long dick joke. No pun intended. Sorta. Okay, I’m lying. Either way, the punchline to this particular dick joke is rendered ineffective by all the ones that came before it. Sorry. Sorta.

Despite the rampant commercialism, lazy sci-fi and endless succession of genital humor I found The Watch fun to sit through. I realize these aspects are a complete turn-off for many, hence the abysmal reviews this has generally garnered. They are for me, normally. They even keep me from grading this as a great movie. However, maybe I was just in the right frame of mind. Maybe I’m more susceptible to such humor than I’d like to believe. In any event, the guys kept my interest and made me laugh. At the end of the day that’s all I ask out of my comedies.

MY SCORE: 6.5/10