Saturday, October 17, 2020

31 Days of Horror: Bloody Stuff Vol. 3

I'm continuing my recap of horror flicks I've watched this year that don't quite warrant a full review. There's some good stuff in here...and some not so good stuff. Let's see what's what.


47 Meters Down: Uncaged
(2019)

Four teen girls do stupid stuff to put themselves in the way of a school of blind sharks. Yeah, screenwriters cheating. Therefore, it's not nearly as tense as the underrated first movie and requires lots more idiocy to move the plot along. Calling these characters morons is insulting to morons, so think of something worse. It tries to save itself with a fantastic, if dumb, last ten minutes. If the entire movie had been made with that energy, this would be a masterpiece. 


Girl on the Third Floor
(2019)

This is a very interesting take on the haunted house genre. It builds a foreboding atmosphere and takes things in some intriguing directions. It's really enjoyable, but doesn't give us nearly enough time with the final girl for us to care as much as it wants us to. It rebounds with an excellent finale that includes lots of creepy stuff.


Only
(2019)

So maybe a movie about a global pandemic that wipes out half of humanity was not the best choice for me...or anyone...at this time. The (unfortunate) twist is that this virus seems to only affect women. It's well made, engrossing, and hits way too close to home. Whether or not it's actually horror is debatable, but given the current state of the world (during the COVID-19 pandemic if humanity survived and you're here visiting from the future) it's terrifying. Freida Pinto and Leslie Odom Jr. (Hamilton) make a compelling couple which is needed to drag us through. Is it "good?" Yes. Is it depressing as hell? Double yes. 


We Summon the Darkness
(2019)

Flick set in 1988 that plays kinda like if The Babysitter took itself more seriously (and didn't have any tweens). Despite it's semi-serious tone, it's fun and interesting with some crazy and gore-ific scenes. Alexander Daddarrio gives it her all. She alone is worth the price of admission...er...Netflix submission. It falls apart by the end because it's not as deep and insightful about big money evangelism as it thinks it is.


Paranormal Whacktivity
(2013)

Wannabe sexy and funny softcore spoof of Paranormal Activity. Unfortunately, it is neither sexy nor funny. Exactly nothing of interest happens unless you count the random boobs that occasionally jiggle across the screen. 89 minutes has rarely seemed so long.



4 comments:

  1. OK, that gif of 47 Meters Down Uncaged made me laugh. Stupid teenagers. I do want to see We Summon the Dark since it plays into the craziness of heavy metal and Satanism.

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    1. That's probably the best pick of this bunch.

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  2. I hate morons and there are so, so many today so most of these I would skip but I am curious bout the Girl Upstairs.

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    1. Of these, Girl on the Third Floor is probably your safest bet. It's on Netflix, or, at least that's where I watched. I hope it's still there.

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