Sunday, October 25, 2020

31 Days of Horror: Ranking the Kills - Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter was so final, we got A New Beginning the very next year (1985). Knowing where their bread is buttered, the powers that be amped up the body count considerably. Even with four kills taking place off screen, we're still up to 17 that we can rank. That means in order to get through this I'll have a lot less to say about each one. What I will say before we get going is that this group of kills is a huge step down from its predecessor. Way too many of them are really quick sharp object to the gut or face with some sort of cutaway. It's a very tame bunch of murders. I know that's an odd sentence, but yeah, thanks MPAA. Thanks for nothing.

#17

Robin

It's the ol' knife from below trick, except we don't get to see it.

#16

Raymond

Raymond takes a hunting knife to the gut.

#15

Pete

Pete is in his car, waiting on his buddy when Jason reaches around from the back seat and slit his throat.

#14

Billy

Another guy in a car! Billy catches an axe to the back of his paper mache head.

#13

Neil

Standing over Jason's open grave is never a good place to be. Oh well, machete in the tummy.

#12

Jake

Poor sap was trying to get laid, unsuccessfully, and got a meat cleaver to the face anyway.

#11

Ethel

Speaking of meat cleavers to the face, Ethel suffers the same. The difference is that little bit extra of it coming through the window and her falling face first into the stew she was cooking.

#10

Les

Remember the guy standing over Jason's grave? So was Les. Icepick in the neck for his efforts.

#9

Violet

This movie's dancing queen gets choke-slammed against the wall and a machete through the gut. The filmmakers initially intended that machete to go up her vajay-jay, but thought better of it. 

#8

Vinnie

Though this kill is much like all the ones we've already mentioned, Jason's choice of weapon and kill location helps the aesthetics and gives it a little bump. Road flare. To the mouth.

#7

Lana

She was excited to head out for a rendezvous with Rick. Instead she got dead. An axe to the stomach did the trick.

#6

Demon

Demon is taking a dump in an outhouse while his girlfriend Anita is murdered off-screen. He gets a spear that comes through the outhouse wall.

#5

Roy

SPOILER ALERT! The killer in this movie is Roy, a copycat Jason. His reign of terror ends when he's thrown onto a tractor harrow.

#4

Tina

Things finally get interesting. After a roll in the hay, almost literally, she gets rewarded with garden shears to the eyes.

#3

Joey

One of the best kills in the movie doesn't involve Jason, or Fake Jason, in any way. It's also of the film's least deserving character. Our boy Joey is clearly on the spectrum and gets axed in the back and an arm chopped off for being a little annoying.

#2

Junior

Our friend the meat cleaver is back. The buildup makes us want Junior dead and the payoff is delightful. He's rides his scooter, unsuspectingly, into the cleaver and loses his head.

#1

Eddie

Eddie went for a series patented post-coital walk. When he comes back, he doesn't get the conventional knife to the get. He gets his head strapped to a tree with a thick leather belt, and the belt tightened until his head is crushed. 


I did say that Violet was a dancing queen, right?


 




6 comments:

  1. I'd probably go with Violet as my favorite kill in that film. I guess Jason wasn't a fan of her dancing. I can't blame him. She got off easy as it would've been worse if she performed in front of Simon Cowell.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, rethinking Violet's cause of death was definitely a smart choice on the filmmaker's part. tbf her dancing did not deserve that end. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They actually filmed it. There is a pic of her with sitting around on set with fake blood all over that region. Her dancing didn't deserve THAT end, I'm okay with it being partially the cause of her demise, lol.

      Delete
  3. I wonder how the writing room is when they talk things through and think about ways to get killed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I imagine it's a very interesting place where people throw around their basest fantasies.

      Delete