Hot Tub Time Machine

Directed by Steve Pink.
2010. Rated R, 92 minutes.
Cast:
John Cusack
Clark Duke
Craig Robinson
Rob Corddry
Sebastian Stan
Lyndsy Fonseca
Crispin Glover
Chevy Chase
Lizzy Caplan
Collette Wolfe

Plot: Four down-on-their-luck friends decide to spend a weekend at the resort they used to hang out at during their glory days. After a wild night in their suite’s hot tub, they wake up in 1986.

The Good: It’s better than it has any right to be. Sure, it’s juvenile and crass but it does both so well. Watching our heroes try to replicate what happened the first time they lived through ’86 is fun. The running gag involving Crispin Glover is priceless. Most of the references to the 1980s work well. The dynamic between Lou (Corddry) and the rest of the group really carries the movie effectively.

The Bad: I did say it was juvenile and crass. However, its worse crimes are being predictable and rushing its ending. We know what’s going to happen, thanks in large part to one of the bigger storylines being a rip-off of Back to the Future, but it doesn’t work up to it. Instead, it meanders along with the various situations that have popped up and then suddenly and haphazardly sticks in, pardon the pun, a key component in shaping the outcome.

The Ugly: What’s the deal with the drunk guy in the bear suit?

Recommendation: It’s strictly a guy thing. ‘Nuff said.

The Opposite View: Mark Keizer, Boxoffice Magazine

What the Internet Says: 6.9/10 on imdb.com (7/7/10), 63% on rottentomatoes.com, 63/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: 6.5/10

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

Directed by Troy Duffy.
2009. Rated R, 118 minutes.
Cast:
Sean Patrick Flanery
Norman Reedus
Julie Benz
Billy Connolly
Clifton Collins Jr.
Bob Marley
Brian Mahoney
David Ferry
Judd Nelson
Peter Fonda
Gerard Parkes

The McManus Brothers, Connor (Flanery) and Murphy (Reedus) have taken refuge somewhere in Ireland after the events of the first movie. In that movie, they hunted down and killed over 20 of Boston’s bad guys. Now, ten years later, they’re compelled to return to their hometown when they learn that a local priest has been murdered in cold blood, but not before they shave.

Sometimes a comedian will step on stage and bomb. His routine will be stale and sensing his own failure, he starts sweating profusely. If that weren’t bad enough, he’s the only person laughing because obviously he thinks his material is funny even if no one else does. Essentially, this is the problem with All Saints Day. While the first movie is a ripoff of Quentin Tarantino, it is at least occasionally clever and often entertaining. It also contains a wonderfully quirky performance by Willem Dafoe. This time it goes straight for screwball comedy, mixed in no subtle manner with gun-porn and homo-eroticism.

Also evident are the countless hours spent studying movies like Shoot ‘em Up and Smokin’ Aces plus everything Tarantino and Guy Ritchie have done since 1999. There’s also the countless other films it references and uses as inspiration for its never-ending succession of bad jokes. Yes, it quite literally laughs at them alone. I can’t count how many times a character says something supposedly witty then bursts into an uncontrollable guffaw. We’re supposed to recognize the movie it just poked fun at (Panic Room, The Godfather, The Untouchables, GoodFellas, so many more I lost count) and laugh along. It never quite works that way.

Among those inspirations, of course, is the original The Boondock Saints. Agent Smecker (Dafoe) only appears briefly. The running gag is that Eunice (Benz) has taken his place and basically does an impersonation of him. This is supposed to be funny mostly because he was a homosexual while she is actually a woman. It is not funny. Neither is the goofy Three Stooges routine by our three local cops assigned to help her. They’re just caricatures of what they were in the first movie which were caricatures to begin with.

Even the violence is played for laughs, unsuccessfully. What should be a reprieve from the annoying only grows moreso. What is funny, if only to us, is that the plot with a “sins of the father” slant could’ve made for a great movie. It’s told in a manner that borrows heavily from The Godfather Part II. However, the joke is on us. The execution is murderously bad. This makes the two hour runtime feel unbearably long.

This experience reminds me of something Roger Ebert once wrote: "Better to wait for a whole movie for something to happen (assuming we really care whether it happens) than to sit through a film where things we don’t care about are happening constantly." In The Boondock Saints II things we don’t care about happen constantly.


The Opposite View: Matthew Razak, Examiner.com

What the Internet Says: 6.5/10 on imdb.com (7/5/10), 21% on rottentomatoes.com, 24/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: 2/10

The Boondock Saints

Directed by Troy Duffy.
1999. Rated R, 108 minutes.
Cast:
Sean Patrick Flanery
Norman Reedus
Willem Dafoe
David Della Rocco
Billy Connolly
Gerard Parkes
David Ferry
Brian Mahoney
Bob Marley

After a skirmish with some of the local soldiers of the Russian mob, the McManus brothers, Connor (Flanery) and Murphy (Reedus) decide to become vigilantes. They start going after Boston’s bad guys in order to dole out their own brand of justice.

The dialogue is mostly sharp and often funny. Characters relate to one another in a manner that somehow feels natural despite the unnatural circumstances in which they find themselves. Director and writer Troy Duffy’s prose owes a lot to Guy Ritchie’s Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and even more to the canon of Quentin Tarantino. This is most noticeable when the characters have conversations that seem to be pointless but help establish personalities and more noticeably when they reference pop culture.

The action scenes are also a plus. They’re fun, bloody and don’t always go according to plan. Through the flashbacks they’re shown through we discover that our heroes are generally sloppy in their work. That helps endear them to us. They don’t seem to be indestructible beings mowing down hundreds of faceless villains. True, they defy the odds but they seem lucky to do so.

To me, the best part of the movie is Willem Dafoe. As Agent Smecker, the federal agent assigned to find out who’s killing all the crooks, Dafoe is marvelous. He’s certainly over the top, but he does it so well. From his opening scene where he’s dancing through the alley while concocting a theory through his near last scene in a dress, it’s a virtuoso performance. Some will say it’s too much, but to me it’s perfectly suited to the movie it’s in.

The problems become apparent the closer we get to the end. For instance, once we meet Il Duce it’s like the air gets let out of the balloon. At that point, TBS crosses the line from being ridiculous in a fun way to just being ridiculous. The contrived court-room scene is worst of all. It reeks of trying to be cool instead of actually being so.

In all, it’s a fun movie that does what it wants: entertain us with witty, occasionally quotable dialogue and stylized violence. However, it can’t quite overcome it’s shortcomings to really be great. It never outdoes the movies it emulates. A copy is never as sharp as the original.


MY SCORE: 6.5/10

The Tournament

Directed by Scott Mann.
2009. Rated R, 95 minutes.
Cast:
Ving Rhames
Kelly Hu
Robert Carlyle
Ian Somerhalder
Liam Cunningham
Sebastien Foucan
Andy Nyman
Iddo Goldberg

Joshua Harlow (Rhames) is the defending champion of The Tournament and he’s back to defend his crown. He’s a very tough guy. In fact, he’s so tough having his trigger finger chopped off hardly seems to affect his ability to shoot. The Tournament is an event held every seven years where 30 of the world’s top assassins vye for an exorbitant cash prize by being the last one alive. It’s held in a new host city each time, like the Olympics. Unlike the big games, the host city is “an unsuspecting town”. This time we’re in some small British town.

Truthfully, that’s all you need to know about this particular movie. Well, you might also like to know that these guys don’t just kill people, they kill ‘em good. Innocent bystanders are used for target practice. This includes strippers. A bunch of them get offed, mostly for being in the way. It’s been some years since I’ve been to a “gentleman’s club”. Because of this movie and the recent Crank: High Voltage I probably won’t be going back. They seem to be exponentially more dangerous than I remember.

Yes, there is some some other story thrown together. Tough guy Joshua is only in it to get revenge for something that happened just a few months ago. There’s also Lai Lai Zhen (Hu), who apparently has a conscience and tries to help Father Macavoy (Carlyle). He’s your stereotypical Irish-Catholic drunkard priest who unknowingly becomes involved in the game. Then there’s Anton Bogart, the Frenchman. He hardly says anything and seems to be the smartest of our hitmen. He’s played by Sebastien Foucan. You probably don’t know his name, but you might remember him as the African that James Bond is chasing at the beginning of Casino Royale. We are treated to more of his urban acrobatics, here. Other characters are deliciously over the top and help keep the ridiculousness coming at a high rate.

The Tournament is also exceedingly gory and funny in dumb way. Of course, you should interpret all this as ‘I love every second of it’. The cheese is piled high with corny dialogue and exploding body parts. Some people will tell you it’s a good ‘turn your brain off’ movie. If that’s possible, go for it. I recommend you get a bag of popcorn and settle in for something so bad, it’s awesome!

The Opposite View: Not for this baby!

What the Internet Says: 6.1/10 on imdb.com (7/2/10), 50% on rottentomatoes.com, N/A on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: -10/10

Coco Before Chanel

Directed by Anne Fontaine.
2009. Rated PG-13, 105 minutes.
Cast:
Audrey Tatou
Benoît Poelvoorde
Alessandro Nivola
Marie Gillain
Emmanuelle Devos
Etienne Bartholomeus
Lisa Cohen

Fashion icon Coco Chanel (Tatou) was not born a famous fashion designer. Before she helped usher everyday women’s attire out of constrictive corsets, hats that could double as gardens and elaborate dresses that took teamwork to get into, she took the hard steps that led to her success. This is what Coco Before Chanel is about, sort of.

Chanel is an important figure because she helped change the world. She built an empire at a time when women either weren’t allowed to or thought incapable. She was a huge influence to the generations of women that followed. This is the movie I wanted to see. I wanted to see her raging against the machine or taking the world by storm. This is not the movie I saw.

The movie I saw focuses on yet another lame cinematic love triangle. At least, the latter half does. The two men vying for her hand feel more like benefactors than lovers. In fact, that’s exactly what the older one of them is. Though she sleeps with him, she doesn’t love him. She appreciates him and tolerates him for his wealth but seems to harbor no passion for him. On the other hand, she’s totally ga-ga over the younger, more handsome fellow, imagine that. Though he’s not quite as rich, his main draw seems to be he's well connected and willing to use those connections to help her. The dilemma isn’t nearly as perplexing as it is made out to be. By the way, the first half of the movie just sets all this up.

Eventually, Coco does move to Paris and is very shortly a fashion mogul. All that stuff about taking the world by storm, becoming a success in what was then a male dominated profession and helping to change the perception of women is given to us in a couple brief paragraphs at the very end. Shame.

That said, if you’re looking for artsy-fartsy this is a beautiful film to look at. It’s shot wonderfully and Tatou gives an excellent performance in the lead role. She’s most famous for playing the title role in the acclaimed Amelie. Coco is a far different woman. Where Amelie was quirky and naïve, Coco is cold, calculated and headstrong. To her credit, Tatou is no less believable as either. If you must watch this movie, do so for that reason. Oh, and beware if you’re a subtitleophobe. The movie is in French.

Also in 2009, Hilary Swank played Amelia Earhart in a biopic about the legendary aviator who disappeared over the Pacific Ocean trying to circumnavigate the globe on a solo flight. That movie also concentrates on the love triangle she spent a good deal of time embroiled in. How sad is it that two movies made during this supposedly enlightened era, even directed by women, choose to simplify their subjects to the lowest common demoninator between two men?

Pirate Radio

Directed by Richard Curtis.
2009. Rated R, 116 minutes.
Cast:
Tom Sturridge
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Bill Nighy
Kenneth Branagh
Nick Frost
Rhys Itans
Tom Brooke
January Jones
Chris O’Dowd
Emma Thompson

In 1966, rock and roll has become extremely popular. However, British radio refuses to play it, except for a handful of pirate radio stations located off the coast and broadcasting from the North Sea. None too pleased, the British government feverishly searches for a way to shut them down.

We hunker down with the crew of Radio Rock. There ship is run pretty loosely by Quentin (Nighy). He oversees the group’s lifestyle of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Our tour guide is Carl (Sturridge) who’s just been expelled from school. His mother (Thompson) has sent him to live on the boat, presumably to help straighten him out. As Quentin says, it is a “spectacular mistake.”

Mostly through Carl’s eyes we watch the group of disc jockeys lead an insane existence. It’s often very funny, sometimes sad and occasionally too ridiculous for words. No matter what the mood, music is always there to echo the sentiment. Music, more specifically bringing rock and roll to the masses, is their only care in the world. The folks making the movie care about the music, also. They did a great job piecing together the soundtrack and using songs in appropriate places.

Pretty much from top to bottom, the performances are outstanding. Bill Nighy seems to be having more fun than he has in years. Philip Seymour Hoffman is great, as usual, as the lone American DJ, The Count. For my money, the man who steals the show is Nick Frost as Big Dave. Dave is one of those guys who everyone seems to love to be around but not necessarily to really be friends with. We also discover Dave has a way with the ladies, despite his girth.

The camera work is interesting as well. Whenever we’re focused on the politicians aiming to shut Radio Rock down, everything is shot in an unnoticeably normal manner. Those scenes usually start with the exterior of some impressive building before venturing inside. The camera is usually stock still, rigid as if it were a government agent, too. On the boat, the camera is often closer to the people and slightly askew. This mirrors our heroes, packed tight and rebellious. It’s a subtle reminder of rock and roll’s roots and struggles.

The end of the movie is a bit overblown, but still effective. It should be taken more as a metaphor than a literal occurrence. When we reach the climax, we realize we’ve seen two coming of age stories, Carl’s and rock and roll’s.

Legion

Directed by Scott Charles Stewart.
2010. Rated R, 100 minutes.
Cast:
Paul Bettany
Adrianne Palicki
Lucas Black
Tyrese Gibson
Dennis Quaid
Charles S. Dutton
Kevin Durand
Willa Holland
Kate Walsh
Jon Tenney

The Bible teaches us that once, a very long time ago, God had finally had enough of our crap. He was so fed up He made it rain for forty days and forty nights. This flooded the entire planet, completely wiping out the population of Earth, Man and Beast alike, save for Noah and the inhabitants of a boat that must’ve been the size of football stadium. What will happen should God be so angered again? Legion has some ideas.

We first meet Michael (Bettany). Because we’ve seen a lot of movies we immediately assume he’s either and angel or the mutant named Angel from the X-Men. You see, he has wings. Through a nifty bit of contortionism we don’t get to see, he very quickly cuts them off himself. After this and a gunfight with a shpe-shifting cop he begins his quest. Michael’s quest, we learn is to stop God from completely exterminating mankind and starting over. Michael still has faith in man while God does not. He feels God is making a mistake.

God is a particularly nasty fellow, here. He must really be ticked off with us. He doesn’t send a flood or plague. He turns all but a few into zombies and sends most of them to a dusty, roadside diner to stop a baby from being born, presumably taking away man’s hope and clearing the way for our extinction.

It’s an interesting idea but there are too many holes on either side of the equation. Theologically, it assumes God is capable of imperfection and questionable judgment. Nor is He all-knowing. This pretty much defeats the purpose of monotheism. It’s kind of like Michael’s beef is really with “a father” not “The Father.” On the other hand, is this the only baby near birth in the whole world? Or is this scene playing out in similar fashion all over the globe? But there’s only one Michael, so I doubt that.

Is this baby special? I dunno. I suppose he is if he makes it through the nicotine and tobacco filled gestation period a healthy lad, mom can’t quit smoking. The movie never tells us anything other than he must be born. I was expecting to hear that he’s the second coming of Christ, or at least John Connor or Neo (oh, you know them). Yet, Jeep (Black) and mom-to-be Charlie (Palicki) are indeed played like a modern day Joseph and Mary, except for that virginal and pure nonsense.

If it sounds like I’ve done way too much thinking about what’s going on here it’s because the movie invites you to do so. The problem is it isn’t thought out enough to stand up to scrutiny. It falls apart under its own weight. The crumbling starts from the very first time we’re asked to both believe that the God of Christianity is indeed real, but He isn’t perfect. By the way, if Michael, an angel, is so determined to disobey God’s orders doesn’t that mean he’s working for someone else? Hmmm.

However, all is not lost. It’s still just a movie. That said, it has some wild imagery and fun action scenes. Old ladies walk on ceilings, a man explodes. Angels have bulletproof wings and use them effectively in their own sort of martial arts. Though those action scenes are spaced a little far apart, there is some tension created. It’s a movie that’s somehow less than it wants to be, but more than it deserves. It’s not the deep, philosophical exercise it pretends to be, but it’s still an interesting watch.

The Opposite View: Joe Leydon, Variety

What the Internet Says: 5.0/10 on imdb.com (6/28/10), 19% on rottentomatoes.com, 32/100 on metacritic.com


MY SCORE: 5.5/10