The Teacher

For Colored Girls

Directed by Tyler Perry.
2010. Rated R, 133 minutes.
Cast:
Kimberly Elise
Loretta Devine
Thandie Newton
Janet Jackson
Anika Noni Rose
Kerry Washington
Phylicia Rashad
Whoopi Goldberg
Michael Ealy
Omari Hardwick
Hill Harper
Macy Gray

Three troubled women live next to one another in a walk-up apartment building. Crystal (Elise) has a live-in baby daddy who is just home from “the war." Apparently suffering from severe PTSD, he drinks all day long and slaps her and the kids around. Tangie (Newton) literally brings a different man home every night from the bar she works in, has a religious fanatic mom (Goldberg) who pops up from time to time demanding money, and a little sister she can’t stand. Gilda (Rashad) is the least troubled, but tries her best to help the younger ladies and doesn’t seem to be having much success.

Very quickly, we meet some more ladies with problems. There’s Jo (Jackson), a magazine tycoon who is suffering through a bad marriage and some sort of health problem. If you’ve paid any attention to Tyler Perry’s previous work, you should figure out what’s wrong with her in about ten minutes. Kelly (Washington) is a social worker married to a cop and has a health issue of her own. Juanita (Devine) has a part-time boyfriend who moves in and out of her apartment at will, or more accurately, at the whim of his other woman. Then there’s Yasmine (Rose), the local dance teacher. She appears to be worry free. How long do you think that will last?

The ladies struggle with their issues and often have heart-wrenching moments. These moments will lead to many to hail it as Perry’s crowning achievement, artistically. That really isn’t saying much, but the point is taken. The director takes a more adult approach to his material and actually goes straight for drama. The bit of humor that is sprinkled in is much more derived from the human condition than his usual over the top slapstick. The overzealous attempts at comedy present in his other films never show up here. There are no buffoons in loud clothing, no old people smoking weed and thankfully no signs of Perry in drag. What we’re left with are these women and their pain.

Their pain drives the movie. It’s the crutch Perry leans on, rather effectively I might add. This part is easy for him because he’s always had two things going for him. First, he knows his target audience. It is no secret that target is African-American females. He has a good feel for what moves them emotionally and how to concoct just the right amount of melodrama to rile enough of them up. Second, he always elicits strong work from his cast. Across the board, the performances are fantastic.

In For Colored Girls, Perry is a skilled illusionist. As one powerfully acted scene after another depicts painful occurrences he knows many in his audience relate to, all too well, the illusion is we’re watching a great movie. The fact is all these wonderful scenes don’t quite gel into a cohesive unit. They’re short snippets of people, mostly women, pouring their hearts out quite literally through their tear ducts. Yes, there is lots of crying. The actors eagerly and earnestly attack their lines, leaving us and them exhausted from the effort. Unfortunately, the story the scenes combine to tell is predictable and uninspired man-bashing. Far in advance, we can see what’s coming. This stems from something the Tyler Perry canon is plagued by. It seems that in his world, Black men who aren’t the embodiment of pure evil are a rare commodity, except for the clowns of his other movies, of course. What happens is the scenes eventually devolve into a string of tragedies with hardly enough triumph to notice. To help us with this as much as possible, Perry eschews his normal all curing trip to church with another chick-flick cliché remedy, the group hug. Seriously.

As much formula is evident, there is some serious ambition with regards to dialogue. The first thing is the free-flowing of four, seven and twelve letter words that earn ‘R’ ratings. For most, this is not a big deal in any way. For Perry, it runs the serious risk of alienating his most ardent fans. Within the rather large and diverse population of Black women, the seemingly unshakeable core of his audience is those who regularly attend church. His work is seen as religious, with a secular slant. This brazenly flips the agenda.

The other risk is with how much he incorporates the source material. For those that don’t know, FCG is based on the play “For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf.” Written by Ntozake Shange, it’s really a collection of poems centered around several characters. It had a pretty decent run onstage in the mid-seventies, even being nominated for the “Best Play” Tony and winning a number of other awards. I was intrigued going in because even though I’ve never seen the play, I have read it. Though that’s been long enough ago to forget most of it, I was curious to see how it could translate to the big screen. It’s a wonderful piece of writing that anyone interested in poetry should give a chance. Indeed, large chunks of Shange’s work are directly inserted into the screenplay. Characters talk normally, then suddenly break out in verse. Occasionally, this works to perfection as in the scene in which we’re treated to a cameo by Macy Gray. Its perfect mix of persona and content provides us with a truly frightening two minutes. Other times, this tactic feels a bit off, or just plain odd. Still, I give him kudos for trying.

FCG is a most difficult movie for me to gauge. So much of it works, I’m tempted to join the ranks of those who swear by it. However, just as much doesn’t work. It reminds me I am a member of the “Tyler Perry Must Be Stopped” club. Approach this with guarded optimism.

In the Loop

Directed by Armando Iannucci.
2009. Rated R, 106 minutes.
Cast:
Peter Capaldi
Tom Hollander
Gina McKee
James Gandolfini
Chris Addison
Anna Chlumsky
Paul Higgins
Mimi Kennedy
Alex Macqueen
Olivia Poulet
David Rasche

Plot: When British Minister for International Development, Simon Foster (Hollander), goes on record saying that war in the Middle East is "unforeseeable," he becomes a pawn in the game between the pro-war and anti-war factions of the U.S. government. Based on the BBC sitcom The Thick of It.

The Good: The script is magnificently clever, and funny. It is political satire of the highest order. It thrives on organized chaos and showcases people who aren't quite as smart as they think they are. There is also the constant jockeying for position by people with power. All of this is tied together by the uniformly brilliant performances of the cast. In particular, Peter Capaldi as potty-mouthed aid to the British Prime Minister Malcolm Tucker is relentlessly hilarious. His is one of 2009's best and most overlooked performances.

The Bad: It satirizes events from the months leading up to the US and UK officially involving themselves as allies in war in the Middle East in 2003. In a world where the news cycle is ridiculously fast, it can feel dated from time to time. Like most satire, it is occasionally too smart for its own good. As a result, it limits its own audience to those who rebel against what pops up in the multiplexes.

The Ugly: Any one of Malcolm's expletive-filled tirades.

Recommendation: The movie ItL has been most compared to is the Stanley Kubrick classic Dr. Strangelove. Honestly, I'm not a big fan of that movie, but I am of this one. If you're looking for a political satire, grab this. Steer clear if you think Pineapple Express is the height comedy.

MY SCORE: 9/10

The Green Hornet

Directed by Michel Gondry.
2011. Rated PG-13, 119 minutes.
Cast:
Seth Rogen
Jay Chou
Cameron Diaz
Christoph Waltz
Tom Wilkinson
David Harbour
Edward James Olmos
Jamie Harris
James Franco
Edward Furlong

Britt Reid (Rogen) is the “party all the time” heir to his daddy’s newspaper empire. He loves his dad, but doesn’t much like the old guy (Wilkinson). He is also suddenly put in charge when pop dies from an apparent bee sting. He recruits his father’s mechanic, Kato (Chou) to help him vandalize the statue built in dad’s honor and unveiled at the funeral. By the way, Kato is basically a combination of Q from the James Bond movies and Bruce Lee who, of course, played Kato in “The Green Hornet” TV series way back when. Anyhoo, while out cutting the head off dad’s statue, Britt and Kato find themselves stopping a couple from getting mugged, or worse, on the street. This provides the newly acquainted drinking buddies the impetus to don masks and try to clean up Los Angeles. Dubbed The Green Hornet after a pow-wow session at the newspaper, Reid and Kato soon draw the ire of Chudnofsky (Waltz), who controls the city’s crime and seems to be going through a midlife crisis. Chudnofsky also thinks the Hornet is trying to take over his business.

Let’s cut to the chase. If you’re a fan of the original TV series, this probably isn’t for you. If you take superheroes with any measure of seriousness, this isn’t for you, either. This is not Kick-Ass or Scott Pilgrim vs. the World which both ably spoof comic books and movies while simultaneously romanticizing them. Nor is this Iron Man with a clever, smart-alec sense of humor that fits the character perfectly. This is just goofy.

“The Green Hornet” has always borrowed heavily from the Batman franchise. However, this incarnation maintains none of what makes the Caped Crusader compelling. Here, Britt is merely a frat boy let off his leash. Even through to the end, he seems much less like a hero than a self-serving attention whore. I haven’t even mention how murder is pretty much a sport for him with the criminal backgrounds of the victims serving as his permission slip.

With all of that said, there still manages to be an element of fun to the proceedings. The jokes keep flying in, distracting us from the inferior comic book writing. Some are funny, some are not. How much you like Seth Rogen may determine how well the jokes work for you. A lot of mileage is gotten out of the inherent homo-eroticism of two men bonding over their toys while parading around town in costumes. There is also a lot made of Reid’s incompetence and the pair passive-aggressively competing for the girl (Diaz). Again, some of this works and some doesn’t.

As expected, our other distraction is the action. There’s more than enough to go around. Plenty of things blow up, lots of glass is broken and ample punches and kicks are thrown. The pre-requisite ridiculousness is present, really getting amped up during the finale. This makes it a surprisingly quick two hours. Still, if you dare compare it to other hero tales, it sinks like a canoe taking on gallons of water.

MY SCORE: 5.5/10

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest

Directed by Daniel Alfredson.
2009. Rated R, 147 minutes, Swedish.
Cast:
Noomi Rapace
Michael Nyqvist
Lena Endre
Annika Hallin
Anders Ahlbom
Micke Spreitz
Georgi Staykov

After playing with fire, the girl with the dragon tattoo kicks the hornet’s nest. The hornet’s nest is really a super secret organization of cranky elderly dudes clinging to life with brittle, spotted hands. As gathered from the prior movie in the series, these guys protect our heroine’s father, a lunatic Soviet defector as a matter of national security. In an effort to maintain that secrecy, they actually do everything they possibly can to out themselves. Nice goin’, fellas.

Evidently, the one thing our bad guys believe will ensure that they remain safely in the shadows is locking up “the girl,” Lisbeth Salander (Rapace). Following the events of The Girl Who Played with Fire, she opens chapter three in a hospital bed after having a few bullets dug out of her. She’s also still wanted for three murders and now the attempted murder of dear old, psychopathic dad. “The Section,” as our wannabe clandestine and very grumpy old men come to be known, are trying to see to it that she’s convicted of these crimes. Meanwhile, super reporter Mikael Blomkvist (Nyqvist) attempts to ride to her rescue. He even guilts his sister (Hallin) into taking the case pro-bono.

The problems with this installment of the Millenium trilogy quickly come into focus. Here, we have a movie about a character who, over the course of two previous movies, has already proven she can be endlessly compelling. However, she’s not nearly as watchable when given nothing to do. She spends the first half of the movie confined to her hospital room while others work on her behalf. The latter half, she’s either sitting in a courtroom, or jail cell. In lieu of all the activity and intrigue of its predecessors, Hornet’s Nest treats us to long stretches of Lisbeth refusing to speak.

What we’re left with is a less than thrilling spy flick. Blomkvist is constantly chasing sources, or trying to get information to Lisbeth. The old guys make and botch plans. The gigantic blonde guy, whom we found out in Fire is Lisbeth’s half-brother, roams the countryside much like Frankenstein’s monster. For some unexplained reason, he’s kidnapped some woman, throws her out of a moving car and apparently goes back for her because he has her again, later. At least, I think it’s the same woman. Either way, it doesn’t matter because she just as inexplicably disappears. Sadly, none of this is particularly exciting to watch.

Viewing Hornet’s Nest becomes tedious work. The main culprit is something that happens way back in the first movie that we’ve never been allowed to forget for even one second. It provides us with such an overwhelming clue about how this is going to play out we’re simply waiting for it to be presented. Once it is, it can’t help be anything but anti-climactic.

Hornet’s Nest is a wasted opportunity. The promise was there for this to complete a great saga and catapult this franchise into the same stratosphere as some of the great cinematic trilogies. Instead of going out in a blaze of glory, it ends in a resounding thud. After two wonderful thrillers, we get a hybrid espionage/courtroom drama that’s not good at either. In the mean time, it’s best character, the one who’s fate hangs in the balance is pretty much made to go to her room like a child waiting for her parents to come to a decision about what punishment is to be handed out. Because of this, the movie drags and then reaches a conclusion we already figured out about ten minutes in. Imagine going to a basketball game, watching your favorite player drop 50 in the first three quarters and then be benched for the entire fourth quarter even though the game is still a close one. That’s the feeling this one gave me.

MY SCORE: 4.5/10

Soul Men

Director: Malcolm D. Lee.
2008. Rated R, 98 minutes.
Cast:
Samuel L. Jackson
Bernie Mac
Sharon Leal
Adam Herschman

Plot: Floyd (Mac) and Louis (Jackson) were once superstars as part of a Motown style 1960s group called "The Real Deal," along with lead singer Marcus Hooks (real R&B star John Legend) who went on to a legendary career as a soloist. After Hooks' death, the two reunite for a tribute show to Marcus, despite years away from the stage and lots of unresolved issues between them. Hijinks and shenanigans on their way to New York ensues.

The Good: At it's core, its about two older gentlemen with larger-than-life personalities talking a lot of smack to one another and anyone who crosses their path. Both Mac and Jackson excel at saying outlandish things that make you laugh even though you know you probably shouldn't think they're funny. The two also forge a very believable chemistry, allowing them to seemingly ad-lib their way through much of the movie. And for those of us who saw their first "adult" movie back in the late 1970s or early 1980s, there's a Vanessa Del Rio sighting.

The Bad: The plot unfolds in a completely unsurprising manner. It's so paint-by-the-numbers it simply relies on the mouths of the two stars to keep it interesting. This is problematic because on those rare occasions when only one or neither of them are on the screen the movie can no longer mask it's weaknesses. Even when they are both on the screen, it just trudges through things we already knew would happen.

The Ugly: Bernie Mac literally hits below the belt. Ouch.

Recommendation: Fans of the two stars should really like this movie. It showcases their personas and lets them have fun. Since they seem to be having so much fun its easy to let implausibilities and cliches slide. For people who aren't big fans, particularly of Mac, then it'll be an easily forgotten road movie that breaks no new ground. RIP to both Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes, who also appears in the movie. Warning: Extremely potty-mouthed, our heroes use the various conjugations of mf as a noun, verb and adjective and most places a comma, period or exclamation point should go.

MY SCORE: 7/10

Inherit the Wind